China jokes.

A New Interpretation of the Word "Hui"

Son: "Dad, how do you spell the simplified word" Hui "?"

Father: "There is a cloud under the herringbone."

Son: "Why?"

Father: "At the meeting, just say what others say. This is called' conformity'. "

Eat only one ton

The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown. The man's father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city.

Q: "How many people can come? Be prepared. "

My in-laws called back and said, "Not many people can go, just prepare a ton of rice." He wrote "dun"

Convert into tons.

Soon I received a telegram from the countryside: "The wedding date was postponed for one month, because it was difficult to collect one ton of rice at one time."

Qi. "

The true story of preserved eggs

Director Jia said excitedly to him, "Today, the trade union invoice watched the movie" The True Story of Api Egg "."

A young man smiled: "Director Jia, you are mistaken. This is the true story of Ah Q, "What? I

Wrong! ? I have been playing cards for decades. I don't know. Preserved eggs? Go away. "

The old man lost his tooth.

The couple took their grandfather to the hospital. The husband saw that the age on the registration form was wrongly printed as "age"

When billing, he said to the doctor, "the word' single' missed a word' tooth'."

"It's' tooth', the doctor said, because this is an elderly clinic!"

Dr qu yuan

In history class, the teacher asked the same student, "Who is Qu Yuan?"

"It's a doctor." The students answered.

"Nonsense!"

"What nonsense? The book says he is a doctor! "

Art of calligraphy

A pair of fashionable young men and women walked into a newspaper office arm in arm.

The young man pointed to a popular flower and said to the clerk, "buy a popular flower." campsite

The clerk smiled at him and handed it to him. The young woman next to her took off her frog mirror and brought it to read the title of the magazine.

Ask; "Why is there more verticality in this opening?"

The young man replied, "Is this the art of calligraphy?"

"Oh." The young woman nodded.

A wrongly written or pronounced character.

A clerk wrote on the blackboard the words "It's on sale now".

A customer next to him said, "Comrade, you wrote' zero' in retail."

The salesman glared at the customer and said, "Come on, there is a vertical knife next to the word' no'!"

Why do you care?

Director Hu always writes wrong words, mispronounces, and is full of jokes, but he never learns with an open mind.

On one occasion, the unit held a commendation meeting, and he pronounced Feng Jianguo as Ma Jianguo, which caused a burst of laughter. male

I think I read it wrong again.

The secretary reminded: "There are two more points!"

Director Hu wanted to correct it, but he was afraid of losing face, so he said with a straight face, "Stop laughing."

It doesn't matter at two o'clock! They are all revolutionary comrades, so why care about these two points? "

each other

Mr. Zhou took the business card handed over by Mr. Chen, looked at it and said, "Mr. Dong, I've heard a lot about you."

Yang. "

Mr. Chen took Mr. Zhou's business card and said, "Are you Mr. Ji?"

Mr. Zhou is unhappy: "My name is Zhou. Why did you skin me? What have I done to offend you? "

Mr. Chen said, "My family name is Chen. You cut off my ear, so you won't be interested in me skinning you? "

wager

In the stands, two strangers are arguing

"A team must win. Write my last name backwards if you make a mistake!

"A team must lose. Otherwise, write my last name horizontally! "

"What's your name?"

"Tian, what about you?"

"Wang"

Have a heated oral debate

Yao and Li met in the tea pavilion and had a good talk. Li asked Yao, "May I have your name, please?"

Yao said, "My last name is Yao."

Li Yue said, "But the handwriting is ominous, and next to it is the handwriting of a thief and a woman?"

Yao listened to his words and turned to look at him. He replied that his surname was Li.

Yao replied, "But the word coffin is made of wood, and the word grandson's son is the first one?"

Official terminology

Southerners often speak Mandarin reluctantly. As the saying goes, Mandarin in Lan Qing is.

In the Republic of China, there was a man who envied being an official, so he put on an adjutant shelf all day, pretending to be an official, and took official steps.

Speak mandarin.

One day at breakfast, I said to my family, "Go to my porridge box and get my green head."

The family didn't understand and stared down.

A man was furious and shouted, "Bastard! What can't be done! You don't know that the official says porridge is called porridge.

Bamboo is homophonic with porridge. Isn't the bamboo box a porridge box? In Mandarin, head is called head, and head is homophonic with beans. I was there.

There is a bag of mung beans in the box. Isn't it green head? "

sir

Do you know whether a man or a woman came first?

B: There were men first.

A: according to what?

I don't even know that. Isn't this strong evidence that our people are called Mr.?

better late than never

A teacher's interpretation of books is quite new. One day, I said, "It's not too late to mend." "Death,

Death, sheep, animal name, compensation, confession, prison, prison, together, the sheep died and then went.

It's never too late to pay too much. This means that people don't have to kill live sheep for sacrifice. "

A huge gap in numbers.

There is a man who is ignorant, but always likes to show off in front of his children.

One day, his son came back from school to do Chinese homework at home. When he wrote "the gap between people is great", he didn't.

If you know what this means, ask dad.

When his father saw it, he reprimanded him in a tone of lesson: "What's the matter, they all went to middle school, is this?"

Can't you understand the lyrics? Describing the sufferings of the poor in the old society, many widows could not survive and had to hang themselves.

This is called "exceeding quantity". You should use your head more in the future. "

Old composition scale

Chinese teacher: "where is the idiom' half a catty and five liang'?"

Student: "In the math exam, I got zero for half a catty."

Chinese teacher: "Remember, you can't write with the old scale."

Women are higher than men.

Yu Zeng cited an interesting debate in the city in which both heroes and men participated.

Husband, the debate is about the status of men and women. Both sides fought to the death for a day.

Length. The content is wonderful, and I dare not be selfish, so I take notes to entertain readers.

After the judge announced the beginning of the debate, the man spoke first. He said, "Dry characters represent men, and

The word "Kun" stands for women. Nowadays, people only say "Kun" and don't say "Kun" is that men are superior to women. "

The woman immediately heard someone say, "Yin and Yang, there is Yin on the top and Yang on the bottom, that is, women are above.

The man is next. "

Another person said, "If the three words" Weng Gu ","Male Mother "and" Mother "are all Yang on the top and Yin on the bottom, it is acceptable.

It means that men are above and women are below. "

The girl replied: "Men and women, excellent prostitutes, fire and water are all negative and positive."

Another person said: "red and green, so it means boys and girls;" Hard and soft, so this means

Men are stronger than women, so there is no doubt that men are superior to women. "

The woman said, "Sweet and sour, women like vinegar, men like sweet words, and they smell good."

This word, so it means sweet man and smelly man. So it is natural that women are superior to men. "

A man snapped, "Men are active and women are quiet, but when they exercise in silence, men are taller than women."

Goodbye, son. "

Before the words were finished, a girl said, "Women are soft-hearted, while men are hard-hearted, so the soft is hard; Women are light.

For men, the weight is light. "

At this point, there is no dispute between the two sides, and the judges have become speechless.

Suddenly, a fashionable young girl opened KINOMOTO SAKURA's mouth and said simply, "Concave is a symbol of men and women, concave."

It is an irrefutable truth that women are superior to men on convex surfaces. "Say, dignified attitude, from

The audience applauded warmly. In this way, the number of men is greatly reduced; all

Run away in a hurry.