Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - All the lines of "Happy New Year" in the third season of Part II.

All the lines of "Happy New Year" in the third season of Part II.

Xiaoxue: Are you ready?

Liu Xing: A little to the left and a little to the right. Oh, I told you to go to the right!

Xiaoxue: Who told you to look at me? I told you to look at this!

Liu Xing: But you are in the way. I can't see anywhere!

Xiaoxue: Hey!

Xiaoyu: Oh, hurry up, my arm is sore.

Liu Xing: Almost! Who told you not to grow taller?

Xiaoyu: Is it not the Spring Festival yet?

Liu Xing: Be careful, it's broken!

Liu Mei: Hey, hey, what's wrong? I have been out for an hour, and I haven't finished the work yet. Why is it so slow?

Xiaoxue: It's all directed by Liu Xing!

Liu Xing: What a blind command!

Liu Mei: OK, order something for me. I bought many delicious foods.

Xiaoyu: What?

Liu Mei: Kiwi.

Xiaoxue: Hey, why am I alone? It's not over yet! Hey!

(episode)

Liu Mei: Xia Donghai, hey, where's dad?

Everyone: hmm.

Liu Mei: Huh? What were you three doing here just now? Liu Xing?

Liu Xing: Mom, please don't ask your son everything, because your son also needs privacy, thank you!

Liu Mei: I asked where is your father? Is this your privacy, too

Liu Xing: He is right behind you.

Liu Mei: Oh, you scared me, Xia Donghai!

Donghai: Telephone, it's my third aunt!

Liu Mei: Hey ~ Third Aunt!

Xiaoyu: Liu Xing, you are brave enough!

Xiaoxue: Hmm!

Liu Xing: I have to do this for our CC plan.

Xiaoxue: Alas, what you said about Grandpa is also true. Why do you have to travel on New Year's Eve?

Liu Xing: Really, if he doesn't go, our New Year's Eve dinner won't be changed to noon!

Xiaoyu: It's noon, and there's not much time left.

Xiaoxue: Really.

Liu Xing: Oh, hurry up and think about what to do with our funds!

(episode)

Donghai: Wow, that's a lot. Can I eat? !

Liu Mei: Oh, this is the first reunion year in our family, so we must celebrate it!

Donghai: Oh!

Liu Mei: Hey hey, do you know what my goal is?

Donghai: What?

Liu Mei: It's better than a restaurant. It makes famous chefs angry! Would you like to see my menu? !

Donghai: Very much!

Liu Mei: Tintin Tintin Tintin.

Donghai: Wow, is this the menu? ! This is clearly a Manchu-Chinese banquet.

Liu Mei: Hey, you've really never been an aristocrat!

Donghai: Then I will be a nobleman once! Unforgettable tonight

(episode)

Xiaoxue: Next, let's budget and see how much lucky money is needed to realize the CC plan.

Xiaoyu: Of course, the more the better!

Xiaoxue: I'm afraid that people who send red envelopes don't think so! Hmm? What are you thinking about?

Liu Xing: I'm thinking about Bill, the richest man in the world. Gates.

Xiaoyu: Do you want to ask him for lucky money?

Liu Xing: No! Bill? Gates is a master of collecting money!

Xiaoyu: You might as well learn more from your father!

Xiaoxue: OK! Well, according to the annual practice, dad should send us no less than this amount of red envelopes!

Liu Xing: Too conservative? That's it? ! I don't think we can even get a C, at least double it!

Xiaoyu: You mean double? !

Xiaoxue: But it doesn't matter if you don't turn it over, because you still have your mother Mary! One for your father and one for your mother!

Xiaoyu: And the dollars my mother gave me! Then let's make a profit!

Xiaoxue: Maybe this will realize the CC plan! Yeah!

Xiaoyu and Xiao Xue: What's wrong with you?

Liu Xing: Well, according to the practice of that year, my dad automatically evaporated as soon as he reached the 30th, and didn't appear until after the 15th day of the first month, so my dad can't refer to you, but he is my dad now.

Liu Mei: Xia Donghai, Xia Donghai!

Donghai: Why, what's the matter?

Liu Mei: Hey, hey, I have an urgent task for you. Let's go I ordered the cake, get it back quickly!

Donghai: Huh? You also ordered a cake? Can you eat? !

Liu Mei: Oh, of course you can. If you don't want to eat, the child will eat!

(episode)

Xiaoxue: Huh? ! Now let's take a look at the latest market of CC products and shop around! Maybe we can reduce some money!

Xiaoyu: What are you waiting for? Let's go

Xiaoxue: Let's go, let's go!

Liu Mei: Go, go!

Donghai: OK, I'm leaving!

Liu Xing: Let's go!

Donghai: Why are you going? Why are you three going?

Xiaoxue: Go out and feel the festive atmosphere!

Liu Mei: Hey, come back early!

Everyone: OK, OK!

Liu Xing: Hey, let me guess a riddle for you! The annual salary of children is an economic term.

Donghai: Oh, hum, pediatrics, you just want lucky money! Give me that, ha!

Liu Xing: Hey, Dad. ...

(episode)

Liu Mei: Xia Donghai, hurry up, hurry up, urgent task!

Donghai: Coming, coming! Alas, your task is always urgent! Just picking up the cake almost made you lose your head!

Liu Mei: Come on, buy a bottle of white vinegar. Come on, it's boiled fish!

Donghai: white vinegar. Hey? What brings you here?

Mary: Are you going to cook? ! Why didn't you reserve a seat in the hotel?

Liu Mei: Well, we are used to living at home. Not lively!

Mary: Hehehe, huh? By the way, where are my two babies? Light rain? Xiaoxue?

Liu Mei: Well, they all went out to play, but they are not here.

Mary: Oh, yes.

Donghai: What is it?

Mary: Oh, yes, I think so.

Liu Mei: Oh, do I have to leave? !

Donghai: Huh? Why? !

Mary: Don't shy away, don't shy away. Xia Donghai, do you know how powerful traditional culture is? Do you know how close family and folk customs are?

Donghai: Hey, just tell me what you are doing here.

Mary: I just want to bring Xiao Yu and Xiao Xue back to spend the New Year with me!

Donghai: Happy! No way! What did you say?/Sorry?

Liu Mei: What can I say? I'd better buy vinegar

China East Sea: Mei Mei

Mary: Why not! Why did you decide not to!

Liu Mei: Hey, what are you doing here?

Khufu: If you don't come in the Year of the Rooster, it will disappear. This will be the year of the dog! Liu xing! Son!

Liu Mei: Hey, hey, will you stop yelling here? He has gone out to play and hasn't come back yet.

Khufu: Hey, Lao Xia, is my son hidden by his mother?

Donghai: How?

Khufu: Who are you, please?

Donghai: Oh, this is my ex-wife

Khufu: Oh! I've heard a lot about you! Hey, is that BMW at the door yours? I'm Liu Mei's ex-husband, so I'm not an outsider in theory, but I'm a little close, aren't I? !

Liu Mei: Hey, hey, hey, what the hell are you doing here?

Khufu: As the saying goes, I miss my relatives twice during the festive season. I'm here to pick up my son for the reunion year.

Mary: Oh, yes, Xia Donghai, you haven't promised me yet!

Khufu: Hey, hey, do you also want to pick up the kids and get together?

Mary: Yes, of course!

Khufu: Oh, my parents think alike. We came together for a common goal! Companion, come on, shake hands!

(episode)

Mary: Xia Donghai, say something!

Khufu: Lao Xia, you'd better behave yourself!

Mary: I think it's natural for a mother to take her children home for the Spring Festival!

Khufu: Well, yes, of course!

Donghai: We didn't say your request was too much. The point is that you didn't say hello beforehand, so you must discuss it.

Khufu: Discuss, and then you can discuss, discuss over there, and discuss over there!

Mary: We?

Khufu: The poor inherit the wind and we meet. We understand. What is the relationship between acquaintances? ! Usually it's two to one, but today it's two to two. It's close!

Donghai: Look, what should we do?

Liu Mei: Are you serious? Are you coming with me?

Donghai: Yes, what a coincidence!

Liu Mei: If you promise this, you have to promise that.

Donghai: Yes, if you want to promise, you have to promise all of them, or you won't promise at all!

Mary: How did the discussion go?

Khufu: Almost?

Donghai: I think this matter.

Mary: Stop it!

Khufu: Hey? Why did you stop?

Mary: I can see what he means at a glance! I know him too well!

Liu Mei: No, mainly because we think.

Khufu: Stop! I know what you are going to say without asking, and I know her very well, ex-wife!

Donghai: No other meaning, mainly

Liu Mei: Actually, if you take two or one child, we think it's tolerable.

Donghai: Yes, as a result, you two came together. We must take three children with us. We don't think it will work.

Liu Mei: Of course not.

Xiaoyu: Alas!

Xiaoxue: It seems that there are still some difficulties in realizing CC plan.

Liu Xing: You said there would be no discount for next year. Alas, there is a big funding gap.

Xiaoyu: Hey, don't we have any other sources of funds except lucky money?

Liu Xing: Yes! Sell you!

Xiaoxue: Hey, you two stop!

(episode)

Mary: Xia Donghai, don't be so selfish!

Khufu: Liu Mei, don't be too selfish!

Donghai: Huh? How can you be selfish! You have to tell us in advance!

Liu Mei: Yes, we cooked a big table for the whole family.

Khufu: Hey, it's easy. I can pack the rice with Liu Xing and take it away!

Mary: That's no reason to refuse!

Liu Mei: This, this is the first time for our family to get together!

Donghai: Yes, the first one!

Khufu: You have been together every day since you got married, so it's time for us to get together again!

Mary: Yes, we are both parents, aren't we? ! During the Spring Festival, of course, we should be with our children!

Khufu: Yes! If you don't promise, just be anxious with them! Together, together, okay?

Mary: To tell you the truth, the reason why I brought BMWs here today is to get them back!

Khufu: To tell you the truth, the reason I opened my wallet was to take Liu Xing away! Do you know what a wallet is? There is a bucket next to it, toot toot toot!

Liu Mei: Hey, hey, Hu Yitong, you can't be serious.

Khufu: What's the matter? Isn't it serious to open your wallet? I want to drive a BMW. Can I afford it?

Liu Mei: To be honest, we don't want to talk about this important festival with you.

Donghai: That's right!

Liu Mei: I don't want to talk to you about children.

Donghai: That's right!

Liu Mei: But if you have to force us to do something, then we have to do something.

Donghai: That's right!

Khufu: What? You just don't want us to pick up the kids and back down, do you?

Donghai: OK, let's not argue. Let's listen to the children, shall we?

Mary: Oh? So, you two agreed, right?

Liu Mei: Me, did we agree?

Donghai: When did you agree?

Mary: That's what you two mean!

Khufu: Exactly, yes! No, yes, yes! You can't break your word!

Xiaoxue: Come back! Yo, mom!

Mary: Baby!

Khufu: Son! Come back!

Liu Mei: Liu Xing, listen to your mother.

Khufu: Son, listen to your father!

Donghai: Listen to your father.

Mary: Listen to your mother!

Liu Mei: No, your father, he wants to take you to the Spring Festival!

Three people: Who do you listen to?

Donghai: Simply put, your mother wants to take you back for the New Year.

Liu Mei: Your father wants to take you back for the Spring Festival.

Mary: Honey, you know what? Mom worked hard outside for a year just to be with you in 2008. How about loving your mother for another chance to love you?

Khufu: Son, um, dad borrowed a wallet from someone else to pick you up. Do you know that wallet? It's just that there's a sway beside the motorcycle, and it's beeping, which is very cool and special! As soon as your ass smokes, you can go wherever you want! It was fun!

Mary: Oh! By the way, baby, mom ordered a table of New Year's Eve dinner in the most exclusive restaurant, and a big red envelope!

Khufu: Liu Xing! Dad also ordered Beijing-style fried liver and bean juice in the restaurant, in a big bowl!

Liu Xing: Very enjoyable, very good.

Khufu: I also have a red envelope! Very rich!

Mary: Mom has a lot of gold in her red envelope!

Khufu: Dad's gold content is not low either.

Xiaoxue: Well, goodbye, Dad!

Liu xing: goodbye mom, goodbye dad!

Mary: Goodbye!

Liu Mei and the East China Sea: Liu Xing! Xiaoxue! Liu xing! Xiaoyu! Xiaoxue!

(episode)

Grandpa: Hey! The old lady in front! Oh, I said that Liu Xing's grandmother!

Grandma: Yo, ouch, it's Yu Xia's grandfather!

Grandpa: Look, I've been calling you for a long time, but I didn't hear you!

Grandma: Oh, I'm getting old. This ear doesn't work! It's not like you, you still travel abroad on such a trendy New Year's Eve!

Grandpa: Well, I can hear it. You want to go too, right? ! Today, it is too late. Well, you can go next year.

Grandma: Not the year after next.

Donghai: Hey! Mei Mei, Mei Mei, put all the dishes on the table. What time is it now?

Liu Mei: What are you wearing? What are you eating? Without the children, my duck would be boiled for nothing! The food is also fried for nothing! The cake is also free.

Donghai: What are you talking about? What do you mean you got it for free? We have to eat, don't we?

Liu Mei: What do you want to eat? Help yourself. I can't eat it.

Donghai: Oh, you can't do that. Why do you only think about yourself in this big festival? My father and your mother were there when you were talking. You have to find a way to deal with them quickly! If they don't see three children at the door, my dad can't just jump up!

Liu Mei: Yes, my mother must stop crying.

Donghai: Coming! Hurry up and be happy! Try to deal with them!

Liu Mei: I know. Yo, mom, let's go, mom!

Donghai: I take it, I take it!

Grandpa: Oh, where have all the children gone? !

Liu Mei: Mom, take off your coat. This room is very hot. Give it to me.

Grandpa: Oh, Xiaoyu-

Grandma: Call it out.

Grandpa: Xiaoxue-

Liu Mei: Dad! Dad! Your skirt is really beautiful!

Donghai: Really, just finished!

Grandpa: Grandpa is coming!

Liu Mei: Dad, Dad! Listen to me, the thing is, you tell them.

Donghai: Dad, it's nothing. Here's the thing. . You'd better say it.

Grandpa: No, why?

Grandma: Hurry up!

Liu Mei: Just the two of us. Xiaoxue and Xiaoyu were picked up by his mother, and Liu Xing was picked up by his father.

Grandpa: Oh! It's New Year's Eve, and none of the three children are in front of us. How to spend this year?

Liu Mei: Dad!

Grandma: Oh, what you said on my way,

Liu Mei: Mom, Mom, what are you doing? Mom, why are you crying? You are so, oh, mom.

Donghai: Hey, Dad, don't worry. Mei Mei has been busy all morning. Well, he cooked a lot of delicious food. Let's eat later, shall we?

Liu Mei: Hey, Mom, I'm telling you, Xia Donghai and I have prepared some jokes, which are very interesting.

Grandma: No!

Grandpa: What's fun about spending the New Year with you!

Donghai: Hey, Dad, what did you say? Aren't we your children too? !

Liu Mei: That means we have just grown up for a few years. Why aren't we children?

Donghai: That's right.

Grandpa: Call me quickly! Call the three children back!

Grandma: Yes!

Donghai: No, this, this, how do you call it! Before long, people picked them up.

Grandpa: You won't scream, will you? I won't stay here if you don't scream.

Liu Mei: Dad! What are you doing here?

Grandma: I'm going too. I have to go back, too

Liu Mei: Mom, mom! Please don't do this! Come on, what are you doing? This is a big festival.

(episode)

Liu Xing: Ahhh!

Xiaoyu: Who is it?

Xiaoxue: Ah ah.

Liu Xing: Who, who!

Xiaoyu: You two are here!

Liu Xing: That's right. Isn't it urgent to come back and get the lucky money?

Xiaoxue: Hey! How's it going? !

Xiao Yu and Liu Xing: Hum.

Xiaoxue: Oh, it seems that our CC plan is in sight!

Three people: Yes!

(episode)

Donghai: Dad, it's time to eat!

Grandpa: No!

Liu Mei: Mom, it's time to eat!

Grandma: boring!

Grandpa: No, tell me, how did you spend this year?

Liu Mei: We have to eat anyway!

Donghai: Yes, it's good for the four of us, isn't it? Quite lively!

Liu Mei: Yes!

Xiaoxue: Mom and Dad, we are back!

Liu Mei: Why are you back!

Xiaoxue: We have already discussed with mom, Liu Xing and his father that we will celebrate the New Year with you!

Liu Xing: Yes! Anyway, I have got the red envelope!

Donghai: Hey, you boy!

Xiaoxue: We came back not because of the red envelopes, but because we missed our grandparents!

Three people: Grandpa, take a red envelope!

Grandpa: Red envelopes! Watch!

Grandma: Son! Grandpa finished sending it, and grandma sent it!

Liu Mei: This is the festive atmosphere!

Three people: red envelopes

Liu Mei: Why are you so rational? Do you want your mother to put it away for you? !

Xiaoxue: What, you haven't given us a red envelope yet!

Xiaoyu: Yes!

Liu Mei: Oh, I won't give it to you. Ask dad for it!

Three people: Dad.

Donghai: Stop, stop, stop. You can't give it until after the reunion dinner. Not yet!

Liu Xing: Then we can rob it.

Donghai: Hey, no, no, no.

Liu Mei: Who is it? Coming!

Donghai: Maybe it's a New Year greeting.

Liu Mei: Yo, Mary!

Mary: Hello, um, Xiaoxue forgot my gift for the old man.

Liu Mei: Oh, come in!

Donghai: Yes, Jin Jin.

Mary: Hey! Don't close the door, there's another one in the back.

Khufu: Your BMW is faster than mine. This is the tea I prepared for my grandmother. Liu Xing left in such a hurry that he forgot to take it.

Mary: Grandpa! Happy Chinese New Year

Khufu: Happy New Year, Grandma!

Mary: This is a gift for you.

Grandma: Hello.

Khufu: Happy New Year to my parents, Happy New Year!

Mary: Oh, yes, happy New Year to you!

Grandpa: Everything is fine.

Grandma: I wish you all the best, too

Khufu: Everything is fine. We have nothing to do, so let's go.

Mary: OK, OK, let's get started.

Liu Mei: No, no, it's all here. Why don't you stay here for dinner?

Donghai: Yes, everyone is here. Let's eat together There are many people. Let's have a lively dinner and celebrate the New Year together!

Khufu: Then I have to think about it.

Mary: I accept the invitation!

Khufu: I accept the invitation, too! I'm afraid she is here alone. sorry

Grandpa: OK, OK! I think it's like a reunion year, right?

Everybody: Come on, Happy New Year!

Khufu: Hey, hey, I think the happiest thing this Spring Festival is the children. How many red envelopes can they get this Spring Festival?

Xiaoxue: Hey, hey, make an announcement! We will spend all the lucky money on CC plan!

Liu Mei: Huh? What is CC Plan?

Xiaoxue: Exactly!

Xiaoyu: Grandma gave it to you!

Liu Xing: Grandpa gave it to you!

Donghai: Your CC plan is to give red envelopes to grandparents.

Grandpa: Oh, no, we appreciate it.

Grandma: Yes, you can't accept this red envelope, you can't accept it.

Xiaoxue: Grandma, you must accept it. Everyone should buy a brand-name hearing aid to make their ears young!

Liu Xing: If you have good ears, you will feel better!

Mary: Huh? How to choose a hearing aid named CC Plan?

Liu Xing: Because this "C" looks like an ear!

Grandma: I see, this person has ears, so he is called "CC"!

Grandpa: No, well, there are four of us. We should be called CCCC!

I'm exhausted. Sorry, I typed all these while watching, so there may be typos. Please forgive me!