Tell me the joke I just told.

1. I received a phone call today, and the other party said a lot of nonsense, which made me confused. I got angry and said, "Who are you?" What happened? Is it "wrong number"? This one is more angry than me. He said, "What's the matter? What happened? I just charged you 100. You can talk to me for a while. What happened? 2. When someone sees a rental information, they call to ask. The other party said, "The house rented by my son is not at home now. "He thought about it and asked," Is it quarterly or monthly? " As soon as the voice fell, the other party flew into a rage and said, "What stepfather? I'm his biological father! In the bank, an uncle expressed his doubts to everyone. I brought my dog to withdraw money. I didn't expect the dog to be very disobedient He took a shit in the lobby of the bank. I asked the bank service staff for a newspaper, wiped the shit on the newspaper and went outside. At this moment, a young man grabbed the newspaper and ran away. It took me a long time to understand that this was a robbery. The uncle asked us doubtfully: Should we call the police? 4. Walking through Little Square at night, I found a girl sitting on the seesaw alone, bored, and the other end of the seesaw was very high. Fortunately, I could still feel it, so I sat up and wanted to play with her. As a result, the seesaw didn't move, and my sister blushed instantly, glared at me and walked away angrily. When I was in primary school, I once had a Chinese class and read an article by Qiu. The teacher told me to stand up and read aloud. One of them was "He looked at it with angry eyes", and then it was read as "He looked at it with angry eyes". The teacher corrected: "It was anger", and he read it again: "He looked at it with angry eyes". At that time, the teacher said, "He still spits shit!" 6. When a male colleague was eating in a restaurant, he saw a little girl in her early teens who was very cute, so he teased her and said, "Little sister, will you play with you?" The little girl looked at him and said, "No, my mother said little girls should play with little girls." My colleague never gave up and said, "I'm a woman, too. Please play with me ... The little girl looked at my male colleague and said," I don't believe it! Take off your pants and let me see! "7. A girl secretly loves a boy in high school. When graduating, the girl gave the boy a classmate record, and the boy wrote it and returned it to the girl. The girl looked at the message curiously and found that the boy wrote you. She was disappointed. When a girl has a child, the first word she teaches her child to write is you. The child proudly said, Mom, this word is too easy to remember, which means "I have you in my heart". Then the girl cried. 8. Take the subway to work in the morning. It's too crowded There is a very lovely girl next to her. Kawaii is texting. I accidentally took a look and found that she wrote: "There are many people on the bus today, which is very crowded." After a while, I remembered something and laughed to myself. After a while, I didn't mean to look back and saw the girl continue to write "there is still an SB standing next to me". 9. A young mother breast-fed her baby on the bus, and the baby didn't eat honestly. The young mother was angry and said, "Do you eat? "If you don't eat, I'll give it to my uncle next to me!" I said it several times in a row. After a while, the uncle sitting next to him couldn't help it: "My little master, give me an approval to eat or not. My uncle is already at two stops! " "10 ... after half a day's homework, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out:" ... if the skin color pays off, the fluff on my face is tender and soft, which means it is very healthy ... "When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking at the mirror and smiling again, looking healthy and lovely. At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "Well, listeners, this time our lecture on pig-raising knowledge is over ..." 1 1. My colleague is very happy to have your son. When the son just learned to speak, he said to his son every day, "Call Dad." The son also said, "Call Dad. "Over time, my son has developed a habit. When he saw him, he said, "Call Dad." He had no choice, so he began to correct it. Now he says to his son every day, "Dad. "12. Last week I went to Sanya with him, and michel platini took me for a walk in Wuzhizhou. Looking at the lonely sails in the South China Sea, the old man pointed to the distant warships and said, dear, can I buy back a warship with the money I spent on you in recent years? Me: You damn fool ~, why didn't you say that all the guns you put on me could be recovered from Huangyan Island? ...