Seek cross talk

Guo: Thank you. Without ability, there is strength. Regardless of good or bad, listen to a fresh one. So many friends came, and some of them waited at the door for a long time because they didn't have tickets. There is nothing to report, I can only say a few more words and express my feelings.

Y: right.

Guo: We are just afraid that it will be too late. What if we go back later without a car?

Y: I can't go back.

Guo: (asking the audience) No? Are you sure you're okay? Ok, by train? Living so far away, and ... I'm willing to talk if you want to listen. Yu Qian, it is my brother.

Y: Well, we are brothers and sisters.

Guo: We have cooperated for three or four years. I can't say it's a perfect match, but I always think it's a particularly good performer.

Y: Oh, I'm flattered.

Guo: Great. Anywhere is good. Ah, anywhere is fine.

Y: Haha, thank you.

Guo: But ...

Y: This will be done soon.

Guo: People always have shortcomings!

Y: right. You are here to find faults.

Guo: Let me compliment you first.

Y: Yes, give a sweet jujube to eat first.

Guo: Anywhere, just be careful with your money.

Y: too fine is not a problem.

Guo: Isn't it? Lao Yu's family is said to have a family style ...

Y: what rules?

Guo: If you don't pick up the things in the aisle, you'll lose them!

Y: What is family style?

Guo: Go home for dinner at night. After eating, I pushed open my rice bowl and stood up. He went out to work.

Which class are you in?

Guo: Go out to collect money.

Y: I take fundraising as my job.

Guo: Pick it up everywhere. I hate it when I pick it up. If people learn badly, why can't anyone throw money at it? I picked one up last year!

Y: huh? What the hell?

Guo: Huh? On the ground, there are ten dollars.

Y: oh, yes.

Guo: I was so excited that I cried.

Y: it's too rare.

Guo: God, it hurts! (stomping)

Y: Why did you step on it?

Guo: The rules of collecting money. Step on it first, there is no one on either side, so squat down and tie your shoelaces. Usually go out barefoot.

Y: Then why tie your shoelaces?

Guo: I'm afraid of wasting my shoes. Hey, this money goes to the front.

Y: huh?

Guo: (stomping) Hey, I have to go again. (Stamping his foot again) Oh, look at this. (stomping)

Y: still chasing.

Guo: What's the matter? A kidnapping gang hacked him. Money is concentrated, tied with fishing line, one meter long.

Y: That long?

Guo: That's it. He will see this man as soon as he looks up.

Y: I didn't even look up.

Guo: No, I didn't. Follow. People are like this (matchmaking): come and follow. ...

Y: Look how easy it is to tie me up.

Guo: They lived in Jinsong and followed them all the way to Langfang.

Y: wow! This is called a trap!

Guo: When I looked up, Hulachao was all tied up. Done, a large group of people, someone said: throw it in the car! The other end of the phone said, hey, what a nuisance! Flash 10 yuan: Here!

Y: huh? Still following?

Guo: Say, home phone! Call your daughter-in-law for money. The phone is connected: we are sorry!

Y: oh.

Guo: Don't report the case, but cooperate. Sister-in-law loves her most

Yes

Guo: Oh, come on! Don't hit him or scold him. If I cooperate, don't you want money? Easy to discuss. I will never call the police. Go ahead, but let's be honest. If it exceeds 100 yuan, the ticket will be directly killed.

Y: huh?

joke writers

Guo: Why? Why is this happening? According to the statement, it will not. Actually, his family is quite rich. Take (really) his father as an example ...

Y: Don't film yourself!

Guo: There are flies. ...

Y: There are no flies this month.

Guo: Their father should be very rich. There is no shortage of food and drink in their family, which is not the case by rights. To tell the truth, his father stands out in that job.

Y: oh.

Guo: His practice is not suitable for the elderly.

Y: really?

Guo: His father, a grave robber.

Y: Not as good as mine.

Guo: Grave robbers. Archaeology, knowing where there is a grave, if the country doesn't dig it, his father will sell it as a cultural relic. Carrying the Luoyang shovel, I was still singing when I came home: I have nothing to do today ~ ~ ~, I have to support the ground ~ ~ ~

Y: stop singing.

Guo: I went again.

Y: really?

Guo: In a village in Hebei Province, a grave was dug and there was a skeleton in it. There is a tiger skin skirt at the waist of the skeleton and an iron bar on the ground, which reads: Ruyi gold hoop, weighing 36 thousand Jin.

Y: The above statement is correct.

Guo: His father wondered, Wukong's grave?

Y: quite familiar!

Guo: Why? Is it true?/You don't say. /You don't say. Big, beep ~ ~, big, beep ~ ~, the longer, the bigger.

Y: oh.

Guo: I can't take this. Small, small, small, small, du ~ ~, so big, put it in my ear.

Y: My father is a monkey?

Guo: You can see The Journey to the West.

Y: oh.

Guo: Just put it aside. The village chief came with four people and a red hoop. What do you do? This is Wukong's grave!

Y: oh.

Guo: I don't know. I don't know. Village head: Where is the best golden hoop? Your father: I don't know!

Y: no

Guo: Ah, your mouth is quite tight. That's great. Your mouth is peeing. Take it out. Take it out. Your dad: I didn't see it!

Y: I can't.

Guo: You paid 100 yuan.

Y: huh? One hundred dollars?

Guo: I didn't. I don't know. I don't know if you killed me! Village head: You want to die, you want to die!

Y: what's the matter

Guo: There is a way for you to go. Big! Dead.

Duanzisi

Guo: Don't you have two spare money to buy turtles?

Y: What about the others?

Guo: Say something else. The Spring Festival is coming, and it is snowing these days. Everyone who comes out and goes in should be careful. Your soles are slipping. Be careful when you are old. Walk slowly, don't fall down. It's the Spring Festival, and we're still buying new year's goods. Prepare in advance. The Spring Festival in our family is just like that, and it can't be compared with other people's families when they are old.

Y: I can't leave you alone in three words. This is ...

Guo: His father is rich! This is what his father did.

Y: Do you want to repeat this paragraph?

Guo: No, I haven't praised you yet. Spending money at home is like peeing your pants.

Y: There is no such metaphor!

Guo: Don't take it to heart, don't take it to heart.

Y: I don't care.

Guo: At the age of 30, at home, ouch! Come on, it's ready, bag by bag, 12 o'clock 1 1 listen, bang! There was a ring at the bell Cooking! Hurry up, the pot is boiling. Let me go. What fire spoon, big tofu, intestines, lungs, peeled garlic to eat.

Y: Do we have a pot-stewed fire spoon for 30 nights?

Guo: Old Beijing!

Y: what rules? This is ...

Guo: Old Beijingers.

Y: you can't eat this either!

Guo: Great! This is eating, and everything is delicious. When you go abroad, you don't like it when people eat it.

Y: abroad?

Guo: Hmm. People pour a glass of red wine, a cake, just a clove of garlic, all of them.

Y: not here. Is the cake garlic?

Guo: And those who eat raw meat. I cut the steak and it bled. How to eat that thing when it is cooked?

Y: A mature one?

Guo: Actually, we said that at first, we ate like birds and animals. At that time, we all asked when to go home.

Y: Then who are you asking?

Guo: You ask the old man. When we wear leaves ...

Y: There are no such old people.

Guo: Isn't it just eating raw meat? There is still that abroad now.

Y: Anything else?

Guo: Yes! Eat human flesh. Cannibals are also three people living in a family. In the morning, the daughter-in-law tidied up in the cave, and the father took his son: Go, go, go hunting with his father.

Y: go hunting ...

Guo: The child is hungry: Dad, I'm hungry. Don't say that. If you hit someone, you eat first. Hey, here's one. Bowing and archery ... no, this is stupid.

Yu: thin.

Guo: It's too thin. Don't take this when you are full. The child cried and said, Oh, I'm hungry. Wait a minute. Look over there. Fat man, it's too fat. Eating this is bad for your health.

Y: it's quite attractive.

Guo: The child cried: he was starving. Stop it! Here, here, here. Hey, when I was watching the river, there was a beautiful woman washing her face there.

Y: that's good.

Guo: Child: Dad! Ok, take it alive!

Y: How did this come alive?

Guo: Never mind. Leave it alone. Dad works. Don't say that. I went to grab it, tied it up, and carried it on my shoulder: go, go home with my father. Gee, dad, I'm hungry. Don't say that. Go home and stew your mother.

Y: huh? There is no such thing!

Duanzishi

Guo: Not to mention the tenth. Remember, it is the tenth. This,/kloc-more than 0/00? See you later.

Y: This sentence gave me a fright.

Guo: It's snowing. In fact, I want to say one more thing, just afraid that everyone will not go back. I almost had an accident in the driveway when I came here today. I hit the Beijing-Tianjin Expressway, and on the way, the Beijing-Tianjin Expressway was blocked. I'm in a hurry, I'm afraid it's too late. How?

Y: that's right.

Guo: A group of policemen are busy there. Come down quickly. I think I know that policeman. That fat man, the traffic police.

Y: I know, I know.

Guo: I walked over: What's the matter? Hey, Mr. Guo, why are you leaving? I said I'd go to the show right away. What's the matter with you? Look at this. You know this man.

Y: who is it?

Guo: I went over and saw a man lying on the ground. Ah, I'm not alive, I'm dead! All right, Wang Yang.

Y: Oh, just the host?

Guo: The host studied Ma and Wang Yang. I said, what's wrong with this? What's wrong with that? I said fatty, what's wrong with him? After returning home, the couple fought. Speaking of going home, his wife is sleeping with others at home. Then his daughter-in-law was anxious and asked him why he broke his word and didn't say he would come back that day.

Y: Is there such an unreasonable wife?

Guo: The man beat him up and asked him to stay with 10 million. He just shouted there for a long time: I'm not alive, I'm dead! I'm going to burn myself! I'm going to burn myself!

Yu: Self-immolation?

Guo: I want to pour gasoline on myself and burn myself to death. Isn't this the problem we have to solve? All drivers collect money here. Oh, I said how much money should I raise? 300 liters of gasoline, right?

Y: Still burning?

Duanzixi

Guo: We have just introduced it.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Teacher Yu Qian's father is an archaeologist. Actually, his father is more coke.

Y: Just a moment, please. A father is a father.

Guo: Hmm. Your family is different.

Y: Why is our family different?

Guo: There are two people here.

Y: How about two people?

Guo: Father is father, and father is father.

Y: I haven't heard of it.

Guo: Don't worry about that. This question is clear, it is sick.

Y: I don't know. This disease is more serious, you know?

Guo: Why did he reach the top of the world? After so many years, he has only one skill, making TV dramas and advertisements. Why? His father has an idea. His father is an old policeman and has an identity in the public security department. Yes, in Beijing prison.

Y: prison?

Guo: Not a bet. Don't think too much, it's not a bet.

Y: Who will if you don't tell me?

Guo: I work as an administrator there.

Yu: Administrative work.

Guo: Yes, cooking for prisoners.

Y: It's called a chef, you know?

Guo: Bring food to the prisoners. Everyone responded that his father was not good at cooking either.

Y: not good?

Guo: This is a reaction. It's the same in prison Things happen every day. There was a riot, the prison was bombed and a bunch of prisoners ran away. I had a hard time getting it back. Ask, ah, why go? Why did you riot? The food in prison is terrible.

Y: huh? Too bad.

Guo: Nonsense! Tell me honestly! What did you use to unlock the lock? steamed bread of corn

Y: wow!

Duanzishisan

Guo: There are men backstage, comparable to Qian Neng.

Y: that's not easy.

Guo: I'm talking about money, as an equal with him. It's Xu Deliang.

Y: he can do it.

Guo: alive, I had a fight with him. No money is no money. All the money is tied to your ribs. It hurts to move the liver. Pick a big shit and pass by his door. You have to scoop a spoonful of salty water.

Y: wow! So love takes advantage.

Guo: He was glad to catch up with the rain. He went to the front room to find dog urine and mushrooms. He picked it and ate it. Do not buy food. We performed on the overpass. It's raining, and he's gone, calling his wife: Come on, come on, come on.

Y: why?

Guo: Find a pot and pot, grab the mushroom outside, borrow the stove at the front desk and cook it. Eat this. Look at them, everyone. Coke, can you eat this? It's okay. The wild ones are the freshest. You know, there are no pesticides here. No problem. Everyone said, well, are you so sure? Don't worry. Look at our dog. Come on, let's get the dog a bowl first. Dogs eat, eat and run for half an hour. Ok, Xu Deliang is happy in the back. Come on, eat. Don't let others, Dangdang, eat it all.

Y: good.

Guo: Just after dinner, there was a kid named Shaobing backstage. Here comes the sesame seed cake: Uncle Shi, the dog is dead.

Y: huh?

Guo: My face turned white. What should I do? I can't live. I have to make it spit out! What should I do? Everyone's idea: go to the toilet, drink urine, and leave quickly.

Y: drink urine?

Guo: The couple ran to the toilet, drank urine and vomited. I vomited clean. Oh, this is so uncomfortable. Sesame cake, let me ask you, was my dog miserable when he died? What happened? Here comes the big truck. Whoops ~ ~ it's killing me.

Y: it's not poisoned!

Duanzishisi

Guo: It's boring just to talk about Yu Qian. There is another person backstage who is valued by everyone. This man's name is Jing Li.

Y: Well, we meet again.

Guo: It's my brother. Where did this come from? From Mr. Jin Wensheng.

Y: Oh, Mr. Kim.

Guo: Dagumen in Xihe River, we are brothers. If we add it, it is the two of us who add happiness and longevity. Me and him, I can't wait.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: This man has a bad temper.

Y: Jing Li? Jing Li, he's slow.

Guo: Huh? Slow? I think he is very violent.

Y: So you are slower than him?

Guo: What happened to him? I want to hit him every day when I talk. Didn't see him in a hurry. ~ ~ Why are you going? ~ ~ huh? Nothing? ~ ~ He can worry people to death all day long. Speak well! I advised others to drive: hey, slow down and don't have an accident. Only he drives: hey, drive faster, don't delay.

Y: We have to hurry him.

Guo: I was happy to buy a car the day before. ~ ~ Brother Shi, I'm going for a ride. Don't call me if you need anything! ~ ~ Go, the Fourth Ring Road is running. ~ ~ God, three steps is really fast ~ ~

Y: ah! Can't drive this car yet?

Guo: A disabled person needs a wheelchair, which is much faster than him.

Y: You'd better walk there.

Guo: You can drive it yourself. ~ ~ god, it's so exciting ~ ~. Let's leave now. Let's leave now. Four hours, two kilometers?

Y: well, it's too slow.

Guo: It's parked right next to it. ~ ~ God, I need to have a rest. ~~

Y: I'm going to rest now.

Guo: ~ ~ My heart is almost beating out ~ ~.

Y: As for it, isn't it?

Guo: ~ ~ God, it's so exciting ~ ~! Sitting on the side of the road. ~ ~ this car is a little small ~ ~.

Y: The car is too small.

Guo: ~ ~ Well, if you have money, you can change to a big car. It would be nice to change a big car, but there is no money. Bang!

Y: what's the matter

Guo: I fell from the sky and lost a big leather bag! Open it and it's full of money. ~ ~ My God ~ ~

Y: spoken English.

Guo: ~ ~ How exciting! God, this time you can not only buy a car, but also marry a beautiful daughter-in-law ~ ~!

Y: that's right.

Guo: Bang! It's beautiful to lose a woman, lying there, ~ ~ ~ My God, it's so exciting! ! ~ ~ ~ There come four policemen: Hey, did you kill this?

Y: ah.

Duanzi dance show

Guo: I have to say you.

Y: I didn't cross over.

Guo: I have to say you. Say you are coke. People don't know Yu Qian when he was young.

Y: You know enough about this introduction.

Guo: When you were young, people didn't know you! Isn't it? I was very coke when I was young! In fact, his brain was not very good when he was a child, and his students made this perspective view of his brain. His brain is as big as a pine nut. Everyone says that the head is the head of tea. Go back. It's not appropriate. Stay and do something else. Send him to the boiler, lest he steal coal to eat.

Y: I eat coal. Me?

Guo: Do something else. It would be nice to learn this skill later. Among the students at that time, he was rather stupid. This is a fact. But sometimes he does things that others can't.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: The headmaster and the head of the delegation said that the director of the Cultural Bureau will visit tomorrow. All of you, stand at the door and applaud. Clap your hands when I tell you to. When I say stop, you don't clap. I told you to stop filming. I told you, I will improve my food and eat steamed buns tomorrow. Whoever shoots again will not be allowed to eat steamed bread tomorrow.

Y: oh.

Guo: The students are all standing. The director came, and the principal said, shoot! sound of crying or vomiting ...

Y: applause.

Guo: They applauded, and the director applauded happily: Thank you, thank you, thank you. The headmaster said, stop! Everyone stopped, and the director was still there: thank you, thank you. He came over and gave the director a mouth: You don't eat steamed bread?

Y: Fuck you.

Duanzishiliu

Guo: You don't eat steamed bread?

Y: Who eats steamed bread?

Guo: It was just him and two idiots.

Yes, Wu Bin is my classmate.

Guo: With him, both of them don't give change, and no one gives change.

Y: Are they all like this?

Guo: The living conditions at home are a little better than those at home. He is greedy, and his mouth is the most greedy for this child. As soon as I go to school, my pockets are bulging. Yu Qian: Stop, what do you have?

Y: go ahead.

Guo: I won't tell you about the boiled eggs I brought.

Y: here comes the confusion.

Guo: Give it to me. I won't give it, guess. I guess? I guessed right. Can you give me one to eat? Well, if you can guess there are four eggs here, I'll give you one to eat. Yu Qian thought for a moment: six?

Y: I haven't heard of it. I haven't guessed right yet.

Guo: Later, everyone did well in the exam, but he got the lowest. I hate it very much. I saved money and bought a bottle of sulfuric acid to assassinate these people at night. In the dormitory, all the children who talk cross talk are asleep. They lie down and he gets up. Find a cup, pour it in, and hold it: Hum, I want to get back at you. I can't be nice to you, neither can you two! If this thing sprays on your face, you're ruined, huh? ...

Y: how to drink!

Duanzishiba

Guo: Tell me another good story. Many happy events have taken place in Jing Li recently.

Y: There are always good things.

Guo: I have a girlfriend. Everyone knows that Jing Li is very introverted. His girlfriend is very open.

Y: really?

Guo: His girlfriend is very open and generous.

Y: oh.

Guo: I told you the other day: Look, we have only known each other for four or five days. Let's move in together.

Y: The atmosphere is a bit overdone.

Guo: I thought for a moment: ~ ~ Then try it ~ ~. The woman said: Nothing, my parents are very open. Come to my house, meet my parents, have dinner, you pick me up, I'll get something, no, you drive me back. Come tomorrow, this is your first visit to our home. Do some shopping Don't be empty-handed. ~ ~ all right, forget it ~ ~. The next day, I went to the supermarket and bought a bunch of fruit or something. I came out of the supermarket and put my things in. I called here and a man said, do you want a plate? ~ ~ huh? What dishes ~ ~ have a look. Look, cartoons. Heart said, can I watch this at my age? Do you have a feature film? ~ ~ What's so good about it ~ ~? Yes! A look is an expert! Take out a lot of porn and tell him what's going on here and there. Jing Li blushed. As soon as I realized that I was an adult, I bought a lot of yellow plates. Driving to my girlfriend's house turned red as soon as I entered the door. I'm sorry! Don't talk. When he came out and went in, his girlfriend teased him: well, such a big man is still like a girl. Until dinner, parents are seated, girlfriend is sitting here, Jing Li bowed his head.

Y: Still so shy.

Guo: The woman joked with him: I really didn't know you believed in Jesus! He said, ~ ~ I didn't know your father was selling porn ~ ~

Y: ah, his father!

Duanzishijiu

Guo: How much is it? Tell me more about Xu Deliang.

Y: come here.

Guo: It is inappropriate to say that others are not suitable. This matter, don't take you as an outsider. Xu Deliang is Zhang Wenshun's favorite student.

Yu: Proud disciple.

Guo: How bad is this old man, huh? Teach him to commit crimes all day long. Then, then, then, then, then, then, then, teach him.

Y: It's not the right time to teach him.

Guo: Teach him: Ah, master will teach you. Will be young, twelve, thirteen. You have to learn to scare people.

Y: scare people?

Guo: No matter who you meet, just tell him: Don't keep it from me, I know everything. I know the truth. You can scare people away.

Y: can this scare people?

Guo: Really? Liangzi came home to see his mother: I know the truth! His mother's face turned white. Here's fifty dollars, son. Take the flowers and don't tell your father.

Y: huh?

Guo: Go out and see his father: Hum, I know the truth! His father took out 200 yuan: Liangzi, don't tell your mother. 200 yuan. Take the flowers. Liangzi is very happy. Ah, he made a fortune. As soon as I went out, I saw the messenger at home. Pointing at him: Hum, I know the truth. The messenger cried: son, dad, give me a hug.

Y: ok!