What happened to couples who often talked about divorce?

What happened to couples who often talked about divorce?

In marriage, what does it feel like for lovers to always talk about divorce? All kinds of grievances come to mind, but I don't know where to start when it comes to my mouth.

Every time I like to use the word divorce to oppress each other, I think this method is very useful, and soon you will feel very cool, so you will be proud of your "victory". But have you ever thought that there is no winning or losing in marriage, because husband and wife are the same body, and honor and disgrace are the same body.

I'm afraid, you really should understand that what you rely on is the love of the other person. It's not that the other person can't live without you, nor that the other person is really afraid of you, but that the other person cherishes this relationship more than you.

0 1. The person who puts forward divorce most often is also the one who doesn't want to divorce most.

A person who often talks about divorce usually doesn't really want a divorce, but hopes to attract the attention and attention of the other party by mentioning divorce. This just reflects his inner uncertainty about marriage and distrust of the other half.

Such people often don't have the real courage to divorce, but just scare each other and hope that the other party can save it. On the contrary, people who often hear the other half talk about divorce will slowly and subconsciously prepare for divorce after hearing more about divorce. Maybe one day, if you mention divorce again, he will really agree.

So if you don't want a divorce in your heart, don't talk about it! On the contrary, if a person really wants a divorce, he won't talk about it. He will only silently alienate the other party, make some preparations for divorce, and then put the divorce agreement directly in front of the other party without giving the other party a chance to ease up.

02. Take "divorce" as a weapon to master the right to speak.

Anyone who talks about divorce during a quarrel can be said to be extremely clever, thinking that the other half is afraid of divorce, and if he says he is divorced, the other half will bow his head and admit his mistake and compromise. I don't know how many times I have said it, it will make people feel chilling.

People are mutual, and it is often difficult for couples to last long if they only rely on threats and compromises.

Some people regard divorce as a nuclear weapon, and he wants to remind the other party that if not, I will divorce, which shows her helplessness.

Some people may have experienced or witnessed the consequences of divorce, so she will be afraid. The more scared she is, the more she will emphasize it. So she took the initiative to put forward the word divorce to test each other's attitude because she was afraid of divorce.

Talking about divorce often means that there is something wrong with marriage itself.

Mi Niuqing, a family therapist, said: "Even in the happiest marriage, there will be 100 thoughts of divorce and 50 impulses to strangle each other."

Talking about divorce at a certain stage implies that there are many problems and dissatisfaction in marriage, which makes it difficult for each other in marriage to have confidence and expectation for the present and future state. Fortunately, this can be used as a signal to explore the subconscious needs and desires for this relationship.

In other words, suppressing one's needs and desires in intimate relationships is essentially a fear of being abandoned. TA is eager for "love", eager for protection, and afraid of not being loved. Because of this motivation, TAs suppress their own needs and desires, and are easy to get angry, attack and destroy.

Talk too much and the divorce will come true.

For the other half, when your other half always mentions divorce, the first thing that comes to mind is that the other half has stopped loving. In this way, TA's subconscious will change, never believing that the other party has changed her mind, and as the other party filed for divorce again and again, she slowly accepted the result.

You know, a person's tolerance and patience are limited. When you say the word divorce easily again and again, TA goes from being unacceptable at first, to being less uncomfortable, and then to being numb, just like the story of a wolf coming. The more you talk, the stronger the psychological immunity of TA will be.

When you use divorce to make the other party compromise again, the TA who is preparing for divorce will not continue to choose forbearance, and the "divorce" you often say will become a reality.

05. You think it's just an expression, but it's something you can't go back to.

When people are hurt or attacked, they often instinctively fight back. The quarrel between two people may just stem from a small matter. When a person complains casually and feels attacked, TA will instinctively fight back and defend herself: Let's divorce, just blurt it out.

I don't know that temporary emotionalization will further intensify contradictions, small contradictions will become big contradictions, and small disputes will become enemies. When you come to your senses and want to ease the relationship between husband and wife, you find that the two people have begun to drift away.

When a husband and wife quarrel and ask for a divorce, it is equivalent to erasing all their past feelings, which will slowly consume the only love between husband and wife, and most of them will end in "divorce". When a husband and wife quarrel, they will always file for divorce. The other party will take it seriously, destroy the faith of love, and believe that the other party has stopped loving again and again, thus shaking the determination to maintain this marriage.

06. Don't take divorce as a sharp weapon to hurt marriage.

If divorce is used to solve the contradictions in marriage life, then marriage will be in jeopardy and trembling to break down.

As long as there are contradictions between husband and wife, instead of sitting down immediately to discuss how to solve them, they threaten to divorce from the beginning and use divorce to suppress each other. It is easy to hurt each other in this way.

Even if the speaker is unintentional, the listener will feel cold, cheated, less trust and lose attachment to home. More divorce times will increase the solidified atmosphere in the family, increase the chips that hurt the other party, and make the heart cool to the end. Be careful not to be broken, and the real divorce is not far away.

Therefore, divorce, a colloquial language, usually seems to be a relaxed topic, but it also thinks it is a joke between husband and wife, but I don't know that there are also hurtful words.