A script about little jokes in life

1. In the advanced mathematics class, the teacher was writing furiously on the blackboard, and there was a commotion underneath. The teacher couldn't bear it and said, "Keep your voices down, students!" A buddy said, "Teacher, you will get used to it gradually. ! ”

Teacher faint!

2. The whole high school must wear uniforms... There is a repeat student who never wears them...

No matter this aspect The teacher squatted at the door to check every day. One day, the teacher saw that the student was not wearing a school uniform and asked him why he was not wearing one. The classmate said angrily: My mother is not dead... Why do I have to wear mourning clothes...

The teacher is sweating to death...

3. This may not be considered a conversational answer. : The teacher dragged the class, "I want to talk about one last thing..." A strong man said loudly, "It's not sweet if you force it!", the whole place was silent...

The teacher's face was ashen: "... get out of class is over”

4. Our teacher once said during class: “The boss is the boss with a face, and the wife is the old woman and mother. The wife is always by your side~~~~~”

My deskmate asked the teacher loudly: "Teacher, is that teacher just a wet guy?" Then the teacher went berserk!!

5. When I was in junior high school, I liked a few boys to flutter butterflies together after class (now that I think about it, it really is true) (Boring). As a result, a classmate was so excited that when the bell rang, the math teacher called him several times without answering.

After 5 minutes of class, this student ran to the door to shout a report. The teacher said angrily: "I just call a dog, and it will wag its tail!"

This student whispered Received: "I don't have a tail..." The whole class burst into laughter, and even the teacher couldn't help it...

6. One of my brothers was asked by the teacher in the advanced mathematics class: "Calculus is A very useful subject, what is our goal in learning calculus? My brother: No cavities!

7. The teacher in the Chinese class said: In fact, weasels do not eat chickens. This is what scientists have discovered through experiments. There was a time when a chicken and a weasel were locked together. Guess what happened the next day?

The chicken was pregnant.

8. Junior high school physics class. When it came to the use of neon tubes, a fat man in our class who was sitting in the last row stood up and asked: Teacher, what should I do if the milk in the neon tube leaks out?

The whole class was silent, and the teacher kept talking about other things without saying anything. After class, the teacher started to get angry with the classmate yesterday at the beginning of class the next day, and the whole class became aware of the teacher's reaction speed.

9. The PE teacher yelled during class: "Turn right, don't do it." He glanced randomly and glanced at the classmates next to him. Someone below said in a low voice: Only his bladder is in the corner of his eyes.

10. A painting teacher is quite famous, and there is a famous article in a certain newspaper. A large-scale report with photos, so I boasted in class: "Recently, some classmates always tell me, teacher, you are so good, you have been published in newspapers and even published photos..."

Me: "Looking for Is it human revelation? "Result: The teacher glared at me for at least 5 minutes and then lectured.

11. In the third year of high school, the geometry teacher is a bt old lady who loves to brag and is extremely annoying.

Yi* is in class Above: "I am highly regarded by the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study problems together. Every time, I am picked up by car...and dropped off by car." (Note: This old lady from the south deliberately has a hint of confusion when she mentions this. Pause to emphasize the tone)

Me: "Three rounds?" "Result: I was banned from taking geometry classes from now on.

12. The junior middle school leaders held a meeting, and the students below were very unconscious and threw tissues all over the floor (the temperature that day was almost 50 degrees.

After the meeting, a leader continued: Students, there were sanitary napkins all over the floor today, and the dirty floor was messed up. All the male students were left to clean up.

13. I still don’t know whether the teacher was right or wrong. When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her 10s and 50s) thought some of the boys didn’t listen to us, so she Cursing:

"What are you thinking about?" "I miss you!" I replied.

After being silent for a while, the teacher pointed at me and yelled: You are a stinky hooligan!

14. When I was in high school, I took a labor class for the first time. The teacher was an old man. He introduced himself, "My name is Wu Shushan." I immediately added, "Looking to the northwest of Chang'an, there are countless mountains."

The whole class burst into laughter, the teacher looked livid, and was occasionally punished to do heavy work. Cold~~ Press: "Looking northwest to Chang'an, there are countless pitiful mountains" excerpted from Xin Qiji's "Bodhisattva Man's Book Jiangxi Ostomy Wall"

15. In Chinese class, the teacher called up a sleeping classmate to answer a question, and the classmate was confused. He couldn't say anything... The teacher said: "Can you do it? If not, just squeak!"

The student said: "Squeak." The teacher sweated.

16. In a photography class, a classmate photographed two children playing near a fountain. The teacher asked: "What kind of picture is this?"

The following sentence came from: "Mandarin ducks playing in the water." Everyone laughed wildly~~~~~

17. In music class, the teacher does music solitaire, that is, the previous student drinks a "pull" with a tone, and the next student has to repeat the previous one. A classmate's "pull" is followed by another "pull" in another tone.

There was a boy who was bored and added a word after everyone's "pull" sound, such as "pull wind", "ramen noodles", "poop", etc. Wait until he used a very beautiful tone After singing "pull", the music teacher looked at him with a smile and said: "Let's see what you can do."

18. In the Chinese class ＜＜Yandang Mountain＞＞Teacher: "...The above sentences indicate that he is a very curvy, steep and straight classmate, right?!" All the boys answered loudly: "Yes!!!"

A girl suddenly said : "Is it safe when using it?!" Everyone laughed wildly... This lesson is endless!

19. I think our high school mathematics teacher is the most classic. A girl in my class was sitting in the back row, listening to her Walkman. Her ears were blocked so she spoke loudly. She said to her classmate: "Teacher, come here and tell me." Almost all the students heard it.

The teacher was no exception. He looked at the classmate and said: I won’t go.

20. At the flag-raising ceremony, the principal made an ideological report: "...I am the son of the Chinese people." The students below said, "I am the Chinese people."

21. A school party Yes, the teacher (an old lady in her 60s) will give up the program. The classmates started booing: The teacher also made a festival and danced. A boy shouted: Do a pole dance.

The teacher didn’t understand the meaning of pole dancing, so he thought he wanted her to dance and said: I’m too old to be able to do it anymore. I was fine when I was young, but...

22. Our high school It was almost time to take the exam, and I was taking a geography class. The teacher reported a place name above and we answered minerals below. After talking about a lot of places, the teacher suddenly asked: "What is produced in Jiangnan?" All the boys in the class answered in unison: "Produced in Jiangnan." Beauty!!!!”

23. In the physics class, the teacher talked about convex lenses and cameras. I was writing on the blackboard when I heard people talking and laughing below, so I turned around and clicked on that idiot. , asked him what he was talking about, the boy hesitated and finally managed to say: "Teacher, you wrote it wrong."

So we looked back at the blackboard, and saw that the words written by the teacher on the blackboard were too cursive. "Photo camera"... The whole class burst into laughter, and the teacher, who was always known for his strictness, blushed and said nothing...

24. During the self-study class, the dean of academic affairs came in and asked The monitor said, "Find me two people, I want the class beauties." So the monitor organized the whole class to vote for the class beauties. After a class, they finally unified their opinions and selected the two most beautiful girls in the class. The two sisters shyly went to the director, who said, "Follow me to the Academic Affairs Office, I want to move the flowers..."

25. Sitting in the last row to sleep, next to the back door of the classroom, every time After class, my deskmates woke me up, and then I walked straight out of the classroom to soak up the sunshine.

In a certain class, the teacher asked me to answer a question for the first time. I was woken up by my deskmate while I was sleeping. I stood up and pushed the door open and walked out of the classroom. Five minutes later, I felt a strange environment outside the classroom, and then I quickly He rushed back to the classroom, and all the teachers and students looked terrified.

26. The high school entrance examination was coming soon, and the teacher said: "Now is the critical moment. Everyone has to really work hard, and work hard!" Xia Yun said: "The question now is what to do. It’s a question of how to do it!” The teacher said, “As long as you work hard, you can do it!”

27. A masterpiece by a junior high school biology teacher. Once he was talking about the ecology of the African grasslands. No one in the class listened, so he got angry and said: "You all look at me!" How do you know what an African wild cat looks like if you don’t look at me?

28. When I was in high school, after class, my classmates rushed outside to buy lunch boxes. In order to arrive before others, a girl took a shortcut, but the manhole cover in front of her was not covered properly and fell down. Get down! At this time, she was climbing up while holding the manhole cover... It was very embarrassing. A group of junior high school children ran past to buy food. As she climbed, she said: Hey! It's really difficult to repair... (Sweat!)

29. In high school, the politics teacher said in class? : "Capitalist developed countries, especially the United States, always bully other countries when they become strong. Our socialist China will not do this. Even if we become strong, we will not bully other countries..."

My deskmate continued: "If you don't bully others, how will you know if you are strong or not?" The whole class burst into laughter, and the teacher went berserk! ! !

30. When I was in high school, there was a silver substitution experiment in chemistry. At that time, one of my classmates succeeded in the substitution and shouted: Teacher! Silver really came out! Then he said: Teacher~ you Why don't you sell silver (sell *)?

(Note: The teacher is a female) The teacher didn't hear it, and replied: Selling silver is not something you can do casually, you need the permission of the state... .

The whole class turned upside down

31. Strong sports committee member: In high school, the head teacher (a female teacher in her 20s) said to the sports committee member: "Go and find the sports committee member in the class." "Two boys, the stronger one, I will use it later." I couldn't stop laughing after the teacher left

32. In junior high school, during a school-wide student meeting, the head teacher wanted the physical education committee member to confirm that all the girls in the class were here. Qi didn’t. So he said to him (the sports committee member is a very strong and lustful boy): "Go and clean up all the girls in the class."

The sports committee is not a fuel-efficient lamp, so he hurriedly asked: "Which one should I kiss?" The teacher After thinking for a while: "I know I still want you to go!"