Jokes. Super funny jokes.

Jokes are super funny. Life needs an optimistic and humorous life to live well. Always see jokes, be happy, bring happiness to yourself, share it with others, and make others happy. Here are some super funny jokes. Let's have a look.

Super hilarious joke 1

1. Once upon a time, a man named Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, his family cried in pain. They cried and screamed at his grave. Shuang Shuang … Shuang Shuang … At this moment, passers-by asked, what are you admiring? Shuang Jia replied with tears: we are so cool …

This short message is brief and to the point. No advertising, no nonsense. Sweet words are just bubbling. Just be happy and know yourself. Happiness can't run away, so I won't say what I think. I wish you success: Happy New Year!

3. New Year's Day is coming, it is too routine to give gifts, and there is no trick to bless. I only hope that my dear friends will be harassed by the God of Wealth every day, always illuminated by Maitreya, make big money, laugh happily and run happily.

This new year message came in the heat wave that swept through! May you have Buffett's financial resources, Furong's compact figure, the social status of the five bars, the enthusiasm of grabbing the salt tide, the wealth of the imperial city, and the same happiness as the longer the house price!

One day, a death row prisoner was being shot, but because of the quality of the bullet, the bailiff missed the first shot, the second shot and the third shot. When the bailiff was about to fire the fourth shot, the prisoner suddenly turned around and hugged the bailiff's leg, crying, Brother, you can strangle me, which is really fucking scary …

6, train students to nourish the eight-character decision, saying: Voss is going to become a monk, is going to become a monk. Read aloud five times on the balcony every morning, and you will be alert and have an appetite. For the sake of your health, you must persist!

7. I wish you a "super guerrilla" in the new year: you can survive when you encounter difficulties. The longer you grow, the more you look like a white-faced scholar. Your speech can be full of fun. Worry makes it barren. Happiness makes it this life. Wish you a happy life!

8. This sincere, sincere message, one in a hundred, trudged all the way from thousands of miles away and finally got into your mobile phone, bringing you my deep affection-Happy New Year's Day! Don't forget, my friend

9. When buying clothes, the salesman (contemptuously): This dress is very expensive. Don't touch it unless you buy it. Jane Doyle: It seems that you are rich? Don't sell it if you have money!

10, Spring Festival, Tang Priest added a cotton gown, Wukong added cotton trousers, Friar Sand added a cotton cap, Bajie, your little hand, don't just play with your mobile phone to read text messages, remember to buy a small glove.

1 1. Laugh happily every day, live happily, feel better, and good luck will come. Happiness will naturally knock on the door, so the mentality is the most important. In the new year, I will send a short message to make you laugh happily!

12, Fengtian Freight, the emperor said: Mindful of Ai Qing's loyalty and hard work, I specially gave Ai Qing the right to shop for free. How to get it: Take this short message to a nearby shopping mall and choose whatever you need. It would be nice if he gave you everything. If he doesn't pick it up, he will run. Qin this! Note: The final interpretation right of this message belongs to me.

13, I made a wish on New Year's Day: I want to wash my feet for good luck, rub my back for good luck, bring me tea for happiness, and pour me water for good luck. The best part is that I don't know the east, the west and the north. Finally, I wish this person who reads the information as dizzy as me a happy New Year!

14 How are you? I think you ... have always dreamed of walking with you on that grass recently. If there is still a chance, just say weakly: only eat grass, not defecate anywhere!

15, an ugly monkey went to a matchmaking agency to find someone, and the boss said it was expensive. The ugly monkey said it was cheap and the boss said it was stupid. The ugly monkey said it doesn't matter, so the boss shouted at the window → Fool, don't read the message, come out on a blind date.

16 I will send a short message worth 10 RMB to all the handsome and beautiful brothers and sisters who have a certain position in my heart. I'll invite you to a five-star hotel tomorrow ... and watch others eat! Please bring your own napkin so as not to get wet with saliva. I wish you all a happy face and a good journey!

17, life is your welfare home, relaxation is your massage room, happiness is your base camp, happiness is that you meet Uncle Benshan every day, work is someone else's work, you get the money, and the surprise is my message to wish you a happy New Year!

18. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to meet this old gentleman in the palace and gave me an elixir. Now I'm in a hurry, but something terrible happened immediately: I can see many monsters every day, and the important thing is that I actually found you ... slacker.

19, I am a kind person and keep a low profile. New Year's Day is coming, and I'm afraid I can't squeeze into the fast lane of blessing you, so I wish you a happy New Year!

Forgive me for keeping silent at this inappropriate moment. Apart from harassment, I may really be unable to dig out any deep meaning. If you wake up accidentally, remind you to cover the quilt and turn off your cell phone when you sleep again!

2 1, Ling has been back in Jinggangshan for a long time. Birds are singing and dancing everywhere, and monkeys are climbing trees. A closer look shows that orangutans can dance. Watch it again: Dude, I finally found you, so I stole food here!

22. Want to "miss": One day, after three boring Chinese classes in a row, the teacher refused to leave. Finally Bao couldn't help shouting, "I have to pee!" " The teacher was furious: How dare you shamelessly ask for "Miss" in my class!

23. My colleague: You have so many pimples on your face that the tractor will roll over when it is driven! Me: If the pimples on my face are as few as the hair on your head, I will be satisfied!

24. streaking is an outdoor sport that improvises courage, speed and figure, regardless of venue and gender. This sport originated in Europe and the United States, and has generated many fans in China in recent years. Recently, boys in Hangzhou streaked to protest against the school power failure, and photos were printed on T-shirts for sale, making them as famous as Zeng Ge and leading the new fashion of streaking. Weak asked: Today, did you run naked?

25. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you may have to eat at least one pair of whales. ...

26. One day, Xiao Qiang ate too much and walked too fast, and met a beautiful girl. Xiao Qiang was about to apologize, but his stomach was complaining and spit out a thread. The beautiful girl looked at Xiao Qiang and asked angrily, Am I so disgusting?

27. When New Year's Day arrives, I will give you a grapefruit, a durian and a banana. I wish all the immortals bless you in the new year, and good luck will never leave durian to you. The horizon of happiness will always be with your banana!

28. Sorry, my dear friend. I want to send you a long and sensational holiday blessing, but I can't sleep all night, racking my brains and being utterly confused ... I still think my blessing to you can't be expressed in words. That's it. Please treat me to dinner on New Year's Day. Let me tell you something!

29. It is said that texting has four states: emotional catharsis; Make a mountain out of a molehill; Idle harassment; Sincere blessing. I am the last one, I wish you happiness, health, peace and happiness in the new year!

30.20 14 years of life "new requirements": clothes should be new, vegetables should be fresh, lovers should be trendy, houses should be built, and wishes should be new. May you feel happy and happy every day!

3 1, distance is not a problem, height does not matter, beauty and ugliness never care. No matter where you hide, I will depend on you to pester you. My name is happiness, and my nickname is peace. Happy new year!

32. When is the final exam? When will the test results come out after the exam? What grade is this school year? Did you find a good job? How much is the year-end bonus? Do you have a girlfriend? Did mom force you to have a blind date? Have you weighed yourself? Oh, honey. All right. Stop talking. Happy new year!

33. Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me-wallet.

34. I don't usually send text messages to people easily. The person who received my message must be someone who is in conflict with * *, or someone who loves each other. So, kowtow three times, and stand up after three hooves! The New Year in China is coming, so I wish you a happy New Year. Nothing else, just miss you. Please stand down!

Super hilarious joke 2 1. He likes eating in class. On this day, the teacher asked him, "Why do you always like to eat in class?" Xiao Ming replied: "The teacher is in class, and no one is robbing!" Teacher: Go home for dinner, no one will rob you.

2. Arrange an assignment for students to bring an item from home to school to make the school as warm as home. The next day, some students brought potted plants on the table, some students brought game machines to play, and some students brought snacks to eat. Xiaoming walked into the classroom in his pajamas.

3. We quarreled that day, and my wife and I slept under the bed. When I got up this morning, my wife suddenly said to me, honey, I want to travel. I asked him where he wanted to go, and the goods actually said: a day trip under the cover of my husband.

4. Woman, come and sleep with me for a while! ""no time, watch TV! Go to sleep by yourself! " "Daughter-in-law, do you know how many people wanted to sleep with me at the beginning, and I ruthlessly refused?" "Why?" "Because the price they want is too high! "

Recently, women always imitate adults, whatever you say. Today, I teased her: You are so cute! She said, you are so cute. I said, you little villain. She said: You are a little bad guy. Me: Aunt is so beautiful! She: Bah!

6. Call my son in the bathroom early in the morning: "Bring my air purification equipment." Son: "All right," he said, jumping around with a cigarette in his mouth.

7, smoking in the bathroom was found, my mother picked up the belt and yelled: "Where did you get the smoke? Let you smoke for me, let you smoke for me. " Dad also angrily picked up the feather duster and beat and scolded: "Where did you get the cigarette?" Let you not smoke for me, let you not smoke for me. "

8. Go shopping in the market. If there are rabbits on the way back, come and see. Two little girls asked the rabbit seller: Can this rabbit be kept? The rabbit seller said, bring it back to me after you raise it, and I'll change it for a smaller one! It sounds unreasonable to me, but before I realized it, I heard the girl who asked me just now say, after it dies, can I live with it for you? !

9. Two male colleagues quarreled and were about to start work ... Suddenly, the thin one said, "Who's afraid of who? I go to the hospital, you go to the police station. " Suddenly we couldn't help laughing.

10, in the morning, the teacher wrote a word "m" on the blackboard. What did he ask? Suddenly my deskmate shouted: threesome! The audience was startled. ...

1 1, crying in the study room instead of lying in the dormitory and laughing. Our aim is to make others flustered and unable to learn!

12, speaking incoherently to our English teacher for the first time. At the beginning of that year, she was beautiful Just graduated from college, young and energetic. She introduced herself on the platform and our class burst into warm applause.