Funny information between husband and wife …

1, rinse the bowl

After dinner, neither of them wanted to wash the bowl, so they decided to decide the winner by guessing, and whoever lost washed the bowl. But my wife is good at tricks, and she always punches slower than me. I won't expose her tricks. I just found a lost (or worthless) bowl or plate and broke one or two while cleaning it. She won't let me wash the dishes for the third time, but I have to take out the garbage.

Step 2 make breakfast

My wife and I both have the bad habit of staying in bed, so we often go to work without breakfast after getting up. In order to cultivate my wife's good moral character of getting up early and cooking breakfast, when I wake up in the morning, I will let out the exhaust gas accumulated in my stomach all night, which will make my wife pale and I have to submit. Of course I can stay a little longer, and then get up and use it leisurely.

Step 3 shop

I am most afraid of shopping with my wife. She will drag you around without buying anything.

"Honey, do I look good in this yellow one?"

"Well, not bad."

"What about the red one?"

"Beauty!"

"Is the blue one better?"

"It's also pretty good."

"How do you say yes? Tell the truth, which is better? "

"Um ... wife, to be honest, you should choose a bigger size. You seem to have gained weight ... "

My wife stared at me eagerly. At this point, I don't want to go shopping with her anymore.

Step 4 get angry

My wife refused to talk to me when she was angry, so I rented a KB movie. At night, when my wife fell asleep and saw a thrilling place, I quickly woke her up and replayed the KB story (it doesn't matter if she doesn't watch it, the sound effect is good and it can be scary). Every time my wife is scared, she throws herself at her and takes the initiative to make peace, hehe. . . . . . . . .

5, gnawing chicken feet

My wife and I both love to chew chicken feet, sighing is not as fast as my wife. Once, they ate chicken feet while watching TV, and my wife took one in each hand. My wife gave me a bad look when I reached for the last one on the plate. I said wryly, "Wife, if you eat too much, you won't be afraid of getting fat ..." "XXX, I don't think you want to eat meat this week!" A word makes my scalp numb and my legs weak. I was fined for eating food for a week because I accidentally said that my wife was a little fat.

6. Valentine's Day

I always feel that China people don't need to celebrate foreigners' festivals, but my wife is very particular about this exotic atmosphere. Two days before February 14, she alluded intentionally or unintentionally: "Husband, today is 12?" "Honey, restaurants on the street seem to have special programs now." I called my wife at noon on Valentine's Day and told her not to go home to cook at night and eat out directly after work. I'm glad it was her on the other end of the phone. After picking her up at night, they dragged a roadside shop to eat Lamian Noodles directly. They spent 8 yuan and were beaten up. When she came in and saw the roses on the table, she was beaten again. This time, her fist fell gently on her.

7. Smoking

Most women hate men's habit of smoking, and my wife is no exception. First I tried to convince them, then I hid cigarettes at home, and finally I threatened to control the Internet. At night, she was lying in bed, and I deliberately walked around the bed like a slouches.

"Husband, what are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing, I'll look around, you go to sleep first."

"You are always hovering in front of my eyes. How can I sleep?"

"I can't sleep without fainting."

"I know you want to smoke. Go to the balcony to smoke. Don't delay my sleep! "

Step 8 pay attention

Although they are husband and wife, they each keep a small piece of private space. One day, they found two long hairs in their drawers, so they left a note saying, "It's wrong to rummage through other people's drawers. Besides, wife, you have lost your hair. " The next day, I found a note inside, which said, "I didn't look around casually, but your private money has been found." In addition, husband, hair loss is a symptom of malnutrition. Use your private money to improve our meals these two months. "

9. Take a deep breath

My wife is unhappy when she comes home from work, so she is taught to take a deep breath to adjust her mood. After the first time, she asked, "Are you better?" The wife shook her head. "Then do it again. Remember to breathe hard this time. " Before I finished, I let out a stuffy fart, which didn't stink to me, and then I took a deep breath with my wife, which backfired. First, it's not good for my wife to whisper when she smells it. She turned and walked to the balcony. Before she reached the door, her back was firmly hit by slippers. As a result, a bunch of good words and two pounds of chicken feet were accompanied by crime.

10, Competition |

I went shopping with my wife on Saturday night, because I had to prepare enough food for a week at a time, so half an hour later, both of them were carrying heavy bags in their hands, and the weather was hot, and they were sweating all the way home. The wife suddenly said, "Honey, we didn't seem to wash the dishes after lunch?"

"Ah?"

"Is that good? Let's go home first and then do the dishes. "

"ok."

"But you run faster than me, so it's only fair that you take my things?"

"hmm."

So all the bags in my wife's hand were transferred to me. When my wife started, they started running. Although she is empty-handed, she can't run 50 meters as fast as me. My wife shouted at the back, "Slow down, wait for me …" Hum, I'm not stupid. Why didn't I wash the dishes when you caught up with me? Instead of stopping, I sped forward, and finally my wife got home first. Panting, lying on the sofa proudly waiting for his wife to come back, but I haven't seen anyone after ten minutes. Think about it, it's time to walk back. Just wondering, my wife pushed the door and came in, still holding half a tube of ice cream in her hand, with a bad smile: "I told you to wait and not listen." I want to tell you that I remember washing the dishes at noon. "