Dragon Boat Festival jokes must be funny for three minutes.

when Mrs. Hans handed the check to the bank window, she said shyly, "I'm sorry, my husband's signature is a little difficult to read." I didn't expect that he would be so scared when he saw me holding a pistol ... "

As a typist, I often help writers enter manuscripts, and they pay me by cheque. Every time I get a cheque, I will write the title on it to avoid confusion.

once, I took a check to the bank to cash it. After reading the check, the cashier turned pale.

at this moment, I realized that the name of the book was "Want money or die".

I worked in a bank, and my colleague actually cried when I went to work today.

It happened that a customer withdrew money and choked and said, "What business should I do?" The customer replied, "Take 5, yuan."

Tears kept flowing, and the customer quickly said, "Don't leave, I won't take it, the money is saved."

I went to the bank yesterday and saw the shop assistant arguing with a girl.

Then he said righteously, "This is money returned to me by others.

I'll take it out first to see if it's fake, and then I can rest assured! ！”

There are many wonderful flowers every year.

After dinner, my wife and I were too lazy to wash the dishes.

I suggested, "Why don't we guess boxing? The loser washes! "

She shook her head and said shyly, "No way, she's a lady, and guessing boxing is so rude!"

I thought about it and suggested, "Then let's guess coins!"

After that, I took out a coin from my pocket.

Suddenly she raised her hand and slapped me in the face:

"How dare you hide private money!"

Yesterday, a female colleague came to work, as if she had just washed her hair and hadn't dried it.

With her long hair, I said that you really look like Sadako. She asked who Sadako was.

I said Sadako is the heroine of a Japanese movie. She said directly, rogue! !

am I ... right?

her boyfriend said to her, "I dreamed of you last night, and my underwear got wet in the morning."

She shyly asked her boyfriend, "Damn, what did you dream about?"

My boyfriend replied, "I dreamed that you took off your makeup and scared me to pee!"

1. A leftover girlfriend is complaining about her mother again: "I have to date different men every weekend!

When you see any unmarried young men in other people's homes, immediately ask if you are interested in knowing my daughter!

At that time, I felt that my mother was like a pimp, and I was the lady she tried to sell! "

After that, I sighed with a sigh: "No wonder people say that an old man has a treasure." ......

Although I can understand your trouble, that sentence is not so understood!

I am a diaosi man. I took the bus once and didn't bring anything except 1 yuan for the bus ride.

from the starting station to the terminal, I feel calm all the way.

But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants:

"It's not shameful to lose a big man when he goes out without anything. -from the thief company. "

A MM sent a Weibo: "Mom and Dad, if I can't get married for the time being, don't worry.

It is estimated that God delivered the goods at random, and my boyfriend was just a little unlucky and was placed behind ..."

An hour later, she logged into Weibo and found that she received hundreds of private messages:

"Dear, can I pay on delivery?"

"Dear, there is no reason to return the goods for seven days."

Today, my girlfriend's mobile phone is charging beside me! It's ringing As soon as I see it, it shows mom!

Just say "Fuck you" to her and give her the phone!

She thought I scolded her and said, "Fuck you!"

as a result, I took a look at the phone! Another sentence, "It's really my mother!"

A 32-year-old young woman finally got a 22-year-old boyfriend.

In the face of many blessings, she sighed: I have the feeling of having a son in old age ...

Half a year after breaking up, the first call from my ex-girlfriend was

asking me to help her with a math problem.

I cried, and she didn't even ask me how I was doing.

After doing it for a while, I cried again, because I can't do it either ...

Landlord: "In all these years, I've never seen a boy win a quarrel with a girl.

No matter who is right or wrong, it is the boys who finally admit their mistakes. "

reply: "According to Darwin's theory of evolution, there used to be boys who quarreled and won.

Later, they couldn't find a girlfriend, so they became extinct. "

Today, I saw a female classmate's signature:

My friends and colleagues are all married, and she hasn't settled yet. Do you want to review yourself?

out of comfort, I replied: don't ask too much!

Her reply: I even took a fancy to you. Do you think I'm demanding ...

Comrades, should I do something ...

2. At work, a male colleague teased a female colleague next to him, and

the female colleague grabbed a ballpoint pen and hit him. As a result, the buddy picked up the pen and refused to return it.

He was also happy to say, "Meat buns hit dogs."

My husband bought me a mobile phone. On the bus back, I suddenly asked him, "This let your wife know. Are you going to get more than one bargained for?" Who knows that my husband took my words and said, "Who told you not to build a big house, but to be a second house?" At this time, the people next to us squinted at us. Not to be outdone, I said, "You don't know how to be a little favored?"

4. One day, my husband was walking fast in front, and I shouted at the back, "Brother in front, give me a piece of change. I want to go home by car. " At this shout, an uncle next to me looked at me with strange eyes. My husband turned around with a strong accent, took out two coins and put them in my hand, saying, "I rewarded them." The uncle next to me was completely blinded and kept watching me get on the bus.

5. One day, my husband and I made an appointment to meet at the gate of the park. When I arrived, I saw that he was already waiting for me. I pretended to be surprised and said, "Hey, where's your wife? Business trip? It just so happens that my husband is not here today. Go, come to my place tonight! " At this moment, an old lady next to her frowned and stared at us to death ...

It is said that people who read and reprint posts will be happy all their lives, and I will be happy all my life! So I turned, and you?

1. Asked if my husband thinks my breasts are small, he said, "No, touch my chest when I want to touch the A cup, touch my ass when I want to touch the C cup, and touch my belly when I want to touch the E cup. You have grown very well!" , decisively kicked off ...

2. I bought a quilt on Taobao last time, and it was very comfortable to cover it, so I asked my husband to give it a favorable comment.

As a result, the second-rate husband wrote an evaluation: I slept at home several times in the past year. Since I bought this quilt, I feel uncomfortable not going home for a day. Good choice of quilt. Husband comes home early.

3. I asked my brother-in-law how he knew my sister. My brother-in-law said that he fell in love with my sister at first sight in the street.

At that time, my sister was chatting with a classmate whom I hadn't seen for a long time. The old classmate asked her for her mobile phone number.

My brother-in-law eavesdropped while hiding and wrote it down ...

4. One night before the wedding, my father-in-law said that I would give you a gift. I took a look and it was a medical insurance card.

The old father-in-law said: The main reason is that I know my daughter is strong and hard-working. Take it, you will use it.

5. Wife: "Husband, who is the most beautiful, Lin Chi-ling or Liu Yifei?"

Husband: "Of course it's you, wife."

The wife smiled and asked, "Seriously, who is the most beautiful, Lin Chi-ling or Liu Yifei? To tell the truth, I'm not angry.

Husband: "You are the most beautiful, wife."

The wife looked very satisfied and asked, "Who is more beautiful, your ex-girlfriend or me?"

Husband: "You are beautiful"

Wife: "You are paralyzed. Didn't you say that I was your first love?"