Tell jokes in the car

My mother said my IQ was only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is I only know that I am a very lethal person. Many people have been hurt because of me. Some of them lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have a potential superpower, and this superpower has had a particularly strong effect on my teacher for some reason.

I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and the teacher took Allah to the wild for a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class replied, picking up a leaf from the ground and throwing it into the air. "Pick up something and throw it into the air and watch it float there." "Well, that's good." The teacher praised, "Who else would like to show you again and see what wind is blowing now?" "me." I volunteered, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air. ...

"Teacher, it's blowing up and down now!"

........................: I can't remember clearly what the teacher's expression was like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died. Later, according to the hospital doctor, he died because of sudden strong stimulation, which led to retrograde qi and blood. In this way, I killed a people's teacher

One day in the exam, the biology teacher brought a bird covered with cloth. Then he exposed the bird's legs and asked the students to guess what kind of bird it was. I really don't know, so I handed in a blank sheet of paper. The teacher looked very angry and asked, "Why did you hand in a blank sheet of paper?" What's your name? "When I heard this, I rolled up my trouser legs angrily and said," Now it's your turn to guess who I am? "Biology teacher immediately fell ~ ~ ~ ~

The first grade teacher taught Allah poultry and animals.

Teacher: "There is an animal with two feet. Every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up and wake you up. What animal is it? "

I replied, "Mom!" Laughing so hard that the teacher almost died!

My father asked me how school was.

"Dear son," the father asked, "is your female teacher satisfied with you?"

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."

"How do you know? Did she tell you herself? "

"Of course, dad. The day before yesterday, she said to me,' If all the students are like you, I will leave school at once!' This shows that I have learned everything. "My dad's brain will be ready soon! @#$#@! $%$#@@

One day in math class, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? , I said I don't know. The teacher asked me to ask. I asked my mother who was cooking to let me out. I asked my father, who watched the ball again and shouted' cool'. I asked my sister, and she sang until the baby. I asked my brother and he said on the phone; I'll wait for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? I said; Fuck off, the teacher slapped me, I yelled, the teacher called me a loser, and I called me mean. Old saying; Get out. I said; I'll wait for you outside. Allah's math teacher had high blood pressure on the spot and fainted. .....

Later, the school changed a teacher to let Allah make sentences. I finished my homework calmly. The teacher was impressed with me. The sentence I wrote is:

Sad-the ditch in front of our house is very sad.

If canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.

Naive-it's really hot today. This is a good day for swimming.

Ten points-it's a pity that my sister only got ten points in the math exam.

Relax, I always start with simple things.

Ginseng-the teacher said that we should take part in the relay of the brigade tomorrow, so we must do our best.

Quilt-Xiaoyu's sanitary quilt was stolen.

Lunch-Xiaoming takes defecation as the first thing when he gets up every morning.

The teacher touched my head and said sternly, "Go home from school and strive for the article of 10. When no one comes home, he is ready to finish the homework assigned by the substitute teacher. When I went to the toilet, I began to paint the walls with feces. I painted the bathroom with ten strips, and I was satisfied with my homework before I stopped. " My family came back to scold me. The next day, my mother told the principal that the substitute teacher misunderstood the child. Later, the substitute teacher was fired. Alas ..... I said to myself psychologically, "I am very active, and ugliness is not my intention. God don't lose your temper, I will live bravely and set off the beauty of the world. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "

One morning in class, I chewed gum and put my feet on the aisle.

At this moment, the teacher said to me, "Please spit out your mouth and put your feet in."

My brain: "@ $ # $% # $ #"

It was a quiz, and Alaban and another class were still tied after the final game. So the host announced the final decision: each class draws lots to send a representative. Two representatives will guess the coin again. The right person asks the wrong person a question. If the wrong person answers correctly, the wrong person wins. On the other hand, the category set in which the correct guesser belongs wins. Spirit of heaven, spirit of the earth, my job is to hide. As a representative, I was drawn, successfully guessed the wrong coin and entered the question-and-answer stage. Teachers and classmates suddenly became nervous, and everyone looked at me with eager eyes. Teacher Li, in particular, looked heavy and said nothing. I also felt some pressure, but not because of this, but because of my opponent, Wang Xiaofo, who was the most powerful "teacher killer" in Ala School at that time, and he also saved several human cases. It is said that the last principal was destroyed in its hands. However, I still have some confidence, because in any case, I am also a person who has criticized. The problem begins.

Wang Xiaofo put his hands in his trouser pockets and said slowly, "My mother cooked some eggs in my pocket today. Do you know how many? " "hey!" There was an uproar around. I don't know why everyone is booing, but I know this question has aroused my great interest. Eggs! I hardly heard what he asked. I only heard the word "egg" clearly. You know, in the hard years in the countryside, there was almost nothing to eat. There are two eggs that are really delicious. I seem to see the shiny one.

Egg white, yellow, tender yolk. "If I get it right, will you give me a meal?" I have long forgotten what quizzes and class honors are. I'm only interested in eggs, eggs! "If you get it right, I'll give you two eggs." "hey!" There is an uproar again. I saw the other classmate's face startled, and the classmates cheered and hugged each other to celebrate the victory. Miss Li also gave me a happy look. I don't know what they are happy about, but everyone is smiling at me. I smiled shyly at them and then answered, "Is it five dollars?"

The students' smiles suddenly stopped, and gradually, the ebb tide generally disappeared without a trace. Another classmate suddenly shouted and laughed. Things in this world change quickly. In a blink of an eye, everyone was crying and laughing and didn't know what to do. I haven't had time to think about what is going on. The meeting was suddenly in chaos. I saw a man lying on his back, spraying blood in his mouth, and then slowly fell down.

"Miss Li!"

"Miss Li!"

It's our head teacher! I rushed there, too. I saw the teacher pale, eyes closed and unconscious. "He killed Miss Li!"

"It's him!"

"It's him!"

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Swish swish swish swish swish! ! !

Angry eyes shot at me like sharp arrows.

My eyes went blank, and a voice came back to my ear: "Duo Long! Close the door! Let the dog go! Idle people will all retreat! "

Later, it was said that Mr. Li did not die, but was seriously ill. After he was discharged from the hospital, he saw through the world of mortals, cut his hair and became a monk in Wutai Mountain, and never taught again.