Forty classic jokes

Forty classic jokes:

1, a son didn't go to college and found an old classmate, who is the chairman of a state-owned enterprise. The chairman is very frank: let him be the deputy general manager, with a monthly salary of 50 thousand, and just hold a routine meeting every day.

Gentleman: Just give a general location.

Chairman: Assistant to the General Manager with a monthly salary of 20,000. Just pour tea for the general manager.

A gentleman: Let's start with an ordinary salesman.

Chairman: Our salesman must have at least a master's degree, and his salary is very low, and he still owes wages!

Mr Yu Guangzhong was asked. Mr Li Ao finds fault with you on different occasions every day, but you never respond. Why?

Yu Guangzhong thoughtfully for a moment and answered. He scolds me every day, which shows that he can't live without me. And I never take reasons to prove that I can live without him.

There is a general who often changes the method of selecting officers. On one occasion, he ordered a group of his men, and then suddenly detonated several bombs behind him without knowing it.

As a result, those who panicked were eliminated, while those who behaved calmly were praised by the general.

The general said that a qualified officer must be fearless in an emergency. However, what the general never expected was that all the people employed at that time were deaf. The general's name is Barton.

Section chief Deng was told to go to the workers' club for a meeting. Deng Kechang asked? Where is the workers' club?

Lao Zhao, assistant to the section chief, kindly pointed out to section chief Deng: Go straight to the county library, then walk west from the library 100 meters to the Association for Science and Technology. The workers' club is opposite the Association for Science and Technology. ?

Section chief Deng is still puzzled: library? Where is the Science and Technology Association?

The staff are very familiar with section chief Deng. He said enthusiastically. You went to the east gate first? Jiao Jiao ballroom? And then go south? Imperial concubine sauna city? Turn the corner and go straight? Chinese Cuisine Restaurant? Next door is the workers' club. ?

Deng suddenly understood. He nodded to Fan, glanced sideways at Lao Zhao and said that his speech should be understandable, like Fan, how clear he is. ?

Someone paid for a formal job. When you arrive, go to see your boss. The boss asked: What are the customs of your county?

He replied:? There is little wind and sand in this county. ?

Q:? How about gentleman food?

A:? Little people have to wear three feet six. ?

Q:? What about the people?

A:? There are only two white apricots and many red apricots. ?

The boss is angry: I asked Li Shu! ?

He respectfully replied:? Adults ask pear trees, yes, yes, there are many pear trees, but the fruits are too small. ?

The boss was furious and asked sharply, I didn't ask about apricot and pear trees, I asked about your king. ?

He quickly stood up, bowed and replied, the little one is called a dog. ?

Forty classic jokes 2:

1. People's eyes are parallel, so we should look at people equally.

People's ears are juxtaposed, don't listen to one side of the story.

There are two holes in a person's nose, so don't vent your anger through one nostril.

A man has only one tongue, so he can't say two things.

Although people have only one heart, they have left and right atria, so they should not only think for themselves, but also for others.

2. Practice is the sole criterion for testing truth, mistress is the sole criterion for testing marriage, time is the sole criterion for testing love, tossing is the sole criterion for testing talent, market is the sole criterion for testing products, box office is the sole criterion for testing movies, fans are the sole criterion for testing famous bloggers, and salary is the sole criterion for testing boss's kindness.

3. Some people always have nothing to do, some things are always ignored, and people who have nothing to do are always unwilling to do things that no one does.

People who have nothing to do always have nothing to do, and people who do things always have endless things to do.

Nothing is always staring at the director and criticizing what the director does. As a result, the director often can't do things and can't do things well.

Some people concentrate on their work, while others do nothing but always make trouble.

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