Have you ever met something young but experienced?

An interesting thing happened to me. I have two classmates named Cheng. They are both married. There are more than 0/000 people in their village (town)/kloc, and more than half of them are surnamed Cheng Yi. The female classmate has a high seniority, so her mother-in-law had to call her Gu Nai, the only daughter (picked up by her father in her fifties and sixties). Dad is a first-class hero of disabled veterans who participated in the Beijing 9.3 military parade. His family has a certificate issued by the government, and his female classmates have learned to fight with his father. Before liberation, gay scientists were landlords and had many brothers. But now, regardless of the ingredients, the blood source is far away, and I am married in free love (I am a matchmaker).

The year before last, his family was angry. Let me judge. Male students have earned a lot of money in the past two years and learned to eat, drink and gamble. I usually heard that this lover was arrested because of this anger. The male classmate was badly beaten by the daughter-in-law, and the mother-in-law (who dares to beat the mother-in-law or the old man) directed two sisters and two sisters-in-law to beat the female classmate (no male classmate was seriously injured, after all, she would do it twice). Female students go back to their parents' home and want a divorce.

The climax came, and the father of the female classmate went directly to the town government and said that someone had beaten the military family and asked the government to solve it. I went to the director, including the secretary of the town, the mayor, the director of the police station and two policemen. The deputy magistrate and Minister Wu came from the county. Mediation in the town center primary school is like the sentencing meeting many years ago.

As a result, the two students continued. Mother-in-law fined 500 yuan, and two sisters-in-law in the factory were fined 2000 yuan and detained for three days.

That's not the point. The point is the treatment process. The father of the female classmate pointed at the gay scientist with a cane and said, "There is not a fucking good man in the landlord's house. If I just liberate you and treat my daughter like this, I can find the army to make your grandchildren out of control. The new society has never forgotten the bullying of landlords, eating, drinking and gambling. " ..... "The frightened mother-in-law took my classmate's hand and kowtowed to my aunt. Don't be like me. Sister-in-law and elder sister-in-law kowtow to grandma. Don't be angry. They called grandma a slap in the face. Anyway, I saw a lot of people laughing.

I have a big generation in my mother's family and a small generation in my father's family. I am 22 years old.

My mother is my grandmother's last child, 30 years younger than my aunt. Can you believe it? My mother is seven years younger than my aunt's elder sister. My grandparents died when my mother was 6 years old. My mother was raised by my aunt's parents.

It can be said that my sister brought up my mother. A girl in her 10 years old is called a little girl aunt who is five or six years old. She is a relative.

After the first generation was divided from generation to generation without special circumstances, I belonged to my sister's family. My elder sister is seven years older than my mother and her son is five years older than me. She calls me little brother. My nephew has a son. Call me uncle. I'm not married.

And I estimate that I can get married and have children in two years at the earliest. At that time, my children were six years younger than my eldest nephew's children, and their seniority was still so high.

On my dad's side, my qualifications are small, because my grandmother is the boss, and my grandmother's brother is about 20 years younger than my grandmother, and he got married a little late. Therefore, my brother-in-law is seven years younger than me and is closely related by blood.

At first, I was embarrassed to call my brother-in-law. Later, many big nephews called me uncle, and I was relieved.

1966, I was twelve years old and wanted to eat edamame and tender corn cob, so I went to the neighboring village commune with a partner of my age to steal it. Unfortunately, he was caught by a middle-aged man and brought back to the village for "interrogation". Along the way, we piteously begged our uncle to let us go. Because the dolls in their village go to the same school as us, what a shame if they meet their classmates!

As soon as I entered the village, I saw an old woman in her seventies sitting under a tree to enjoy the cool. At first glance, I seem to know him. I remember coming to my house not long ago, and she insisted on calling me aunt mom. This seems to see a glimmer of life. Before I could say hello for help, the middle-aged man spoke first: Has mistress eaten yet?

At this time, the second sister-in-law (old woman) seemed to recognize me and asked what was going on. The middle-aged man replied that the two rabbits were caught stealing edamame and corn.

On hearing this, yisow swore, you son of a bitch, I'm not afraid of being struck by lightning if I call you little brother rabbit.

Middle-aged people listen to the circle: what is a mistress? The old woman said: This is Wang Zhuang, the fourth son of your great-grandfather's family. Why didn't you call me? Let them go!

As a result, not only was I not punished, but I also had a shameful meal at Ersao's house at noon!

About 1980. A new headmaster, who is almost 50 years old, was transferred from primary school. He used to teach in other counties, but this time he was transferred to this school in a village. The superior means that it is convenient to build good relations with the village with the help of his acquaintances, so as to control dropping out of school, repair the school building (at that time, it was a straw house) and let the village buy some desks and chairs.

One day, the headmaster asked several village cadres in the office and the village to pay for the clothes for the children's day performance of the commune. The sixth grade math teacher rushed in with a boy about 14, 5 years old. That boy is taller than the math teacher, and he is not afraid that the teacher will drag him to the principal's office, so he boldly stands at the door. The headmaster motioned the math teacher to wait for a while, but the math teacher couldn't wait. Plus, the village cadres in front of him are all acquaintances, so they have no scruples. He said, principal, I have no ability to teach this student. I was in front of the whole class, and he actually played poker back and forth. I knocked over the poker and he helped me (dialect: meaning to fight with the teacher). At that time, the superior attached great importance to the dropout rate in the school assessment. The student can't find it because of family difficulties. The teacher begged his aunt to tell his grandmother to go home and look for it. If the students can't find it in a fit of pique, the math teacher really doesn't know how many times to find it, so the math teacher leaves the burden to the principal. Although the headmaster is a local, he can work outside for a long time and is only familiar with the elderly and people of similar age. He really doesn't know this pupil. In order to save face for the math teacher, the headmaster reprimanded the students: Whose child are you? How dare you mess with the teacher in class? I'll hit you twice!

But then the students' answers made the angry math teacher laugh and cry, and even several brigade cadres couldn't help laughing. The student who stood at the door and was flushed with anger at the headmaster's words suddenly jumped in front of him and pointed at him and said, I think you are just a rabbit with a dog's egg on its pillow. The more you play, the bolder you become. I'm your brother-in-law. How dare you say whose child I am? Still hitting me? I'm going to find my eldest brother and ask him how to educate him.

The headmaster is a little confused. I really don't know how to end it. Fortunately, there is a cadre in the brigade who is a relative of a student and has a little prestige. He told the students that you are an uncle at home and he respects you. As a student at school, you must respect and listen to the teacher. Think ridiculous again, do you believe that this summer's grain distribution will deduct 100 Jin of wheat from your home? ! The student suddenly lost his voice. He dared to confront the teacher and fight with the headmaster, but he dared not slap the cadres of the brigade. The cadre said that it was true to withhold grain. If his father knew that the headmaster didn't spank, his father would spank him.

This matter was told as a joke by the headmaster, and now the headmaster's uncle is also a person who runs for six. Do you remember what happened in those days?

Li, a poor senior, is a little older than me, but five years older than me. I call him "Grandpa". According to the elders, Pianjia is a family with us, and the villagers call it clan. His family is an independent branch. Because the ancestors had a small population, poor families and generations got married late, they have always been "poor generations". Piantou is the "king of children" of a group of children, digging magpies, playing with water and catching loaches in the moat near the village all day. There is a Guandi Temple in the middle of the street. There is an old jujube tree in front of the temple. On the jujube tree, there is a big bell knocked by the production team. The clock is made of cast iron and has a diameter of half a meter. Once, I went up to steal dates, and I caught the wire of the bell. As a result, the wire was broken, and the bell fell with people. The edge of the bell was buckled on my head and blood flowed all over the floor. The head is wrapped in gauze, and after scabbing, the head shape is still the same as before, but people joked that "this time it looks crooked, and the original name is not true." At the age of marriage, we have been married and have children since childhood. Piantou has never been married. He is older than us, but I can't see how anxious he is. He is as happy as a child all day. His father talked to several matchmakers in the village about his daughter-in-law, but he was busy for several years and spent a lot of money to protect the media. None of the girls mentioned in Siliba Village are married. PianTou said to his father, "Dad, don't tell me about my wife. I want to be a bachelor all my life! " ".I said I was single, but I was still very anxious when I watched my friend's children grow up day by day. Playing flute at the edge of the village every day, and then practicing erhu for three years. Erhu Opera "Two Springs Reflect the Moon": My flute plays a plaintive bangzi tune all day, and I have no intention to work for crops. He himself said that this is "grass full of beans" in my field.

Later, a singing class in a neighboring village saw that the opening credits were well played and accepted him into the class. He was asked to play erhu and flute at funerals in eight neighboring villages, and the songs were all sad. "Kong Laoer and I are colleagues now, and we are both Confucians, giving people funerals". The opening credits earned some money in the singing class and spent money to buy a daughter-in-law in other provinces. He gave birth to a son four or five years ago. On the day when the full moon wine was held, a group of more than 50 people said that it was a full moon wine for grandpa, and we should drink more as junior students.

In our hometown in Sichuan, there is a saying that "if you have a house, you will get old". The so-called "Fang Yao" is the youngest brother and sister in the family.

Moreover, in our family, my father's generation is already the eighth generation of "Lao Yao". In my generation, I was the ninth generation of "Lao Yao" for nine years until my brother was born. Now, the younger brother is the "father" of our generation, and the younger son is the "father" of their generation.

Being from "Fang Yao", the generation of our generation is surprisingly high.

I remember that when I was three years old, I went back to my father's hometown for the New Year. Several old men with gray beards gave me a New Year greeting and said, "Grandpa is here, and my grandson will give you a New Year greeting." I looked puzzled and said to them, "I don't have a beard, I'm not a grandfather!" " You have a beard and you are a grandfather. "Before that, I always hated being called' Grandpa' or' Ancestor'. It was not until I became an adult that I became complacent about my bizarre qualifications.

Once I went back to my hometown and walked in the town, but I couldn't find the way back to my hometown. That day happened to be the "market" in the town, so I asked an old man selling vegetables on the roadside the way back to my hometown and politely asked, "Grandpa, how can I get to XX?" The old man looked up at me and immediately said, "I dare not be an old man. You are the old man." After cleaning up my stall, you have to personally send me back to my hometown. Later, I found out that this old man should call me "Zuzu", which means great-grandfather.

That year, I spent my summer vacation in a military school and was entrusted by my parents to visit relatives in my hometown. When I arrived in the county, I borrowed a bicycle from my relatives and went to my hometown in the countryside with gifts for the villagers. When we reached a downhill section, the country road was rugged, and the rainy weather made the road slippery. There was a heavy object on the luggage rack at the back. Because the brakes were not enough, it hit the calf of a middle-aged man on the side of the road.

The man insisted that I take him to the town health center for examination, and he had to pay his "soup and medicine fee" (which means medical fee in local language). When I arrived at the town health center, the man took me directly to see the dean. It seems that the dean should be his relative and elder. As soon as the dean asked me about my situation, he stood up respectfully, helped me sit down in the chair, bowed to me and said, "The older generation, the younger generation salutes you!" " "Then he shouted at the person who was hit:" Don't hurry to salute your ancestors! "

It turns out that both of them are my relatives, and they are five or six generations lower than me. I really don't know what to call them, so I have to call me "ancestor" directly.

Later, the student who was hit helped me push my bike and sent me back to my hometown with the dean. Along the way, I was filled with guilt and apologized to him, saying that I could compensate him for some money. But these words scared him to wave his hand again and again and said, "Grandfather played well! I was lucky to be hit by my ancestors. I didn't know it was my ancestor just now, so I said something that offended my ancestors. The ancestors must forgive the filial piety of the younger generation! " It seems that he did something wrong! Ha ha ha ha! Later, when I left, he brought me some chickens and ducks, eggs and peanuts to honor me.

After my wife and I got married, I took her back to my hometown. Everywhere I go, people call her grandma, mother-in-law, grandparents and even grandparents, which makes her very uncomfortable.

Now, there are people in my father's hometown who are older than me in Xiao Jiu. My youngest son, now 19 years old, went back to his hometown with me as an ancestor, which made him laugh and cry. Now the head of the family is an elder in his eighties, but he calls me great-grandfather and my son grandpa. If my brother and I go back to our hometown, no one dares to sit in the seat above except our two brothers.

Is it embarrassing for the niece to teach the student's brother-in-law?

Before liberation, Shangguan Fucai, a native of north beach Fort, got married at the age of fourteen and had a granddaughter Shangguan Wenxiu at the age of thirty-one. His youngest son Shangguan Qingshan is fourteen years younger than his eldest granddaughter Shangguan Wenxiu. This is an anecdote about a "little uncle and big niece" at school.

Shangguan Wenxiu was born in a wealthy family and studied in a private school since childhood. She studied very hard and graduated with honors. Soon after the founding of New China, he met the literacy movement and became a teacher.

"No coincidence" Shangguan Wenxiu teaches in a local school: she teaches in Class Two, Grade One, and is the head teacher. My brother-in-law, Shangguan Qingshan, is fourteen years younger than her and studies in the class she teaches. Shangguan Qingshan is too stupid to learn the word "e" for a week. Do you think Shangguan Wenxiu, the niece, is a headache?

Every time in class, Mr. Shangguan Wenxiu stepped onto the podium, and the students stood up and said, "Hello, Mr. Shangguan!" I wonder what the word "dugu" in Shangguan Qingshan's mouth is? The teacher is a niece and the student is a brother-in-law. Can we not be in a dilemma?

Although Shangguan Qingshan is young, can he not know his qualifications? The students all call his niece "Teacher Shangguan Wenxiu!" He doesn't scream, does he? Mingming niece is a teacher! Call! It is obvious that Shangguan Wenxiu is his niece. This left is not, and this right is not? Shangguan Qingshan, a young senior, is hard to break! Do you think niece, teacher and brother-in-law are in an awkward position?

This kind of thing is not surprising. It is normal for a family to have junior, junior and senior. It is normal to plant onion seedlings in dry land for short generations.

In my hometown, my generation is big, my nephew lives under the same roof for five generations, and my nephew is four years older than me! Every Spring Festival, when I go to my hometown, my grandchildren don't know what to call me, so they have to call me "Happy New Year, little old man". As for me, because there are too many reasons for these younger generations, I don't give red envelopes to younger generations who have already worked. I give red envelopes to the younger generation who have already studied in primary and secondary schools, to show my "little old man" mind and say something small. If you want anything, you can have anything bigger.

The most interesting thing is that when I was in primary school, I was in the third grade for more than two months because I was a senior placement student. I was six years old and my little nephew 13 years old. Every year when peaches are ripe, we go through the peach grove after school. The children are not well. When they saw the ripe peaches, they couldn't help picking them. My uncle who looks at peaches in Taoyuan can't help us children. He kicked us out as soon as he found out. If a classmate runs fast and is caught by my uncle, he will hit you on the head with a long-stemmed Chinese pipe, because I can't run at the slowest speed. Whenever my little nephew comes to pick me up at this time, he will run away. In return, my little nephew will copy my homework for him. Unfortunately, my little nephew died of tetanus at the age of 20. Now, whenever I think about it, my heart still hurts.

By the way, my father-in-law is my eldest brother and I am my wife's second uncle. Do you find it ridiculous?

Our ancestors fled from Shandong and came to our present residence, which was divided into several branches and flourished. Other branches are prosperous, our branch is not, and our generations have made mistakes, which leads to our high seniority and frequent jokes.

When we got married, the family from the neighboring village also came to help congratulate us. When there was a conflict in the new house, a gray-haired old man said to his wife, Madam, you have to get us some packs of cigarettes when you get married today.

The 24-year-old wife, seeing that the other person was older than her father-in-law, began to call her mistress, and suddenly she was at a loss and didn't know how to answer. I looked at my wife blankly and introduced her. This is banker Sun, a new generation, two generations shorter than us. It is normal to call you mistress. Then, he turned to criticize the old man and rolled away. No more cigarettes, and the old man took the man away with a smile.

My wife and I have been living in the city since we got married. Near New Year's Eve, we go home for the New Year together. When I arrived at the village entrance, I became addicted to cigarettes, so I thought about going to the grocery store to buy a pack of cigarettes and let my wife go home first. Because our village is relatively large, there are more than a dozen groups and there are many forks in the road. My wife has been here several times, but she can't remember, so she has to ask a middle-aged man, uncle and XXX's house on the roadside how to get there. Uncle asked, who are you? The wife honestly replied that it was his daughter-in-law. Uncle changed his serious and cheeky answer just now, oh, it's the old lady (our great-grandfather, great-grandmother's collective name, regardless of gender) coming back. Why didn't the old man come back? When I said this, my wife blushed. It turns out that he is also a junior.

The family in our neighboring village has a high generation. If it is extended to families in nearby towns, it is even more difficult to say. There are grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-grandchildren everywhere. It's awkward to call each other. Looks about the same age, several generations, like deliberately taking advantage of others. Later, everyone simply stopped talking and only talked about age and friendship, not about seniority, and everyone was happy.

Apart from the high seniority in our family, we are no worse than other surnames in blood relationship. Usually, I am a generation older than my wife. When we were in contact, neither of us knew that when the old people met and chatted, the embarrassment came out. Theoretically, my father-in-law is my eldest brother and I am my wife's second uncle. You said it was embarrassing.