Who will tell me two jokes? ``

Sorry, sir, it's too late to repair your TV set today.

"Then what shall I do tonight?"

"How about I give you two sleeping pills?"

Rare assured milk

When the husband heard that his wife was having an affair, he planned revenge. One night, he rubbed concentrated rodenticide on his wife's chest while she was sleeping. The next night, my wife came home late, and my husband asked why. The wife said indignantly, "Our director is poisoned to death!" The husband asked, "Do you know who did it?" The wife said, "The murderer is very cunning." Even the police can't find out how the poison was passed, but there are clues. We are investigating Sanlu and Shengyuan milk powder. "The husband asked," Why? " "My wife said," the director said when he died, "Oh, my God! Is there safe milk in the world? "

Evil roommate

Change my girlfriend's number in his mobile phone to mine when my classmate takes a shower. Send him a text message in bed at night "Husband, I'm pregnant". I saw that guy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Badabada smoked a box of cigarettes and asked the dormitory people to borrow money …

Bargaining skills in nightclubs

X always goes to nightclubs to talk about "work" and meets some ladies.

A young lady said: 200 yuan is not expensive to meet thousands of miles away!

X always said: Qian Shan always loves thousands of waters. How about fifty dollars?

A young lady said to her: If you want to pass the Yumen Pass of the Spring Breeze, you should get at least 130 points!

X always says: There are plenty of fish in the sea. Can we do it for eighty dollars?

Some young lady is speechless!

X always said: The world has its own true feelings, today I only brought 90 yuan!

A young lady was angry and shouted, I blocked tomorrow with my youth, with a hundred strong enemies and a hundred treacherous ones!

X always laughs and says: Lushui couples also have feelings. Can we lose another ten dollars?

A young lady lamented: Why do you want to meet each other? You say 90 is 90.

I didn't pee.

One day, when I went to town, I had a sudden urgency to urinate and found a quiet corner to prepare my homework. But when I was found by the police, I yelled at me and fined me. I was angry and replied loudly, "I didn't pee, and I didn't even dare to take out anything!" "