Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Never stop talking until it's amazing (13)

Never stop talking until it's amazing (13)

1. "Great Sage, what are you doing here?" "If you go to the south, you will break the sky." "If you don't come back ..." "You'll never come back!"

Sometimes, smiling doesn't mean you are happy, it just means you are strong.

The wisest way to live is to despise the habits of the times and live without violating them at all. -Ryunosuke Akutagawa

I swear in the name of my life and love that I will never live for others, and I will never ask others to live for me. -"Atlas Shrugged"

It's like having a dream. No matter how you lament after waking up, there is no way to continue the dream or rewrite the nightmare, but to continue to live casually in reality. -Wu Xinyi's Dawn

6. Most people have no talent, and everyone sells their dignity to varying degrees when making a living. Therefore, a good work attitude should be: never have self-esteem, and then earn it bit by bit.

7. The difference between people is very small-this small difference lies in the goal of life! Some people, with clear goals and firm will, are not afraid of distant places and are willing to go further. The inspiration of the goal gives them a strong marching force, and it is expected to break through the bondage of fate in the end. However, others will never find their purpose in life.

8. It is the hard years we have experienced that ultimately shape us, not vanity. Every setback we experience will plant tough seeds in the depths of our souls. Every suffering in our memory will become the strength to support us in the future. Sandberg

9. True exquisiteness is never expensive. So what if you can't afford tens of thousands of bone China tableware? It is also beautiful to spread a clean and tidy tablecloth, pick up an abandoned bamboo tube and insert a budding flower. True exquisiteness is a calm and elegant attitude towards life. Even if life abandons you, even if you are in a mess, you will stick to it and live a poetic life. You don't have to have a lot of money to support it, but you must feel it with your heart.

10. Just because life is not predestined, it is always full of surprises! It is precisely because life is not doomed that your choices and efforts are valuable!

02

mood

1. Every parting is in summer, which is obviously the hottest season, but it carries the biggest parting.

If you are tired, rest on my shoulder. If you are afraid, just hide in my arms and let me protect you. -Tonghua "Once Promise"

3. It turns out that if you really love someone and feel sour, you will be speechless and sweet, and most of them will tell irrelevant people. -Yi Shu's "Her Two or Three Things"

Happiness is the realization of every tiny life wish. Eat if you want, and be loved if you want to be loved. -"Travel Notes of Flying House"

Jimmy said that the child would rather be stabbed by cactus than hear the cynicism of adults. At least the scars are visible, but the wounds caused by being scolded are invisible. Can't show, can't talk, and nobody cares. Home is not only the transmission channel of love and warmth, but also the transmission channel of hate and injury.

6. In Norwegian Forest, Yongze said to the hero, "Don't feel sorry for yourself! Pity yourself is the work of a despicable coward. "

7. The only truly lasting love is to accept everything, all disappointments, all failures, all betrayals, and even the sad fact that the ultimate and deepest desire is simply companionship. Graham? Green (surname); green

8. People are emotional animals and are always easily moved by emotions. Even if a bad person looks old, helpless and pitiful, it is easy for people to lose their principles and be full of love. The road to hell is paved with love: families who love bad guys infinitely are finally dragged down, paying off gambling debts and wiping their bottoms for him; Companies that love bad employees infinitely, good employees lose or go bad, and companies close down; A country that shows infinite love and welfare will end up poor. Lian Yue

9. A woman's misfortune lies in being surrounded by almost irresistible temptations. She doesn't need to make progress, but is encouraged to slide to bliss.

10. A handful of Jin Jian, a thousand words, is wasted twice. I was drunk and talking to myself, but I woke up in the torrent. I don't hate the passage of time, but I am afraid of teenagers' worries. -Liang Qichao

03

wisdom

1. Self-knowledge means knowing that cleverness will be punctured; Introspection is to understand that responsibility can never be evaded. Druids

Later, many people asked me what it was like to wander alone at night, but what I remember is not loneliness and the long road, but the magnificent ocean and the twinkling stars in the sky.

We firmly believe that everything has reincarnation. History has never gone from an inflection point to the other side where everything is different, but has changed everything in a very slow and much longer duration than you think.

4. Whether writing, designing or developing courses, it is inevitable to encounter bottlenecks. Don't worry about it at this time, and get in touch with different "information". Don't think about the connection. The key is to "jump out" and get rid of the original bondage.

There are always some strange people in this world who will solve strange problems that only weirdos like you will encounter in strange ways you can't imagine. At that moment, lift the lid and you will know how narrow-minded you are.

6. For stupid and dark people, stay away early, because you can't make her live forever, but she will tire you into a demon; For men who have domestic violence, they should get out in time; Stay away from people with bad habits in time. There is nothing wrong with making a mountain out of a molehill before your life is safe. Don't expect too much from such people because they have no bottom line. People who have no bottom line in this world are the most terrible. -belated love

7. Understanding human nature and common sense is normal intelligence. Knowing your own nature, knowing your own internal and external, can be called brilliant. -not afraid of the other party's bad, no matter how bad the other party is, there will be gains. Fear is fear of ignorance of human nature, and fear is fear of ignorance of self.

8. Gu Cheng once said: Honest people never need to choose. Just like you are a wax gourd, but you expect to bear a sweet watermelon, then no matter how worried you are, you are still a big wax gourd. In other words, people should be honest with themselves. Life has never had any options, only choices!

9. You pour out your heart and lungs for your friends, but your friends bring your heart and soul into the water. Others only do small things for him, but he never forgets to be grateful. People's heart, why is this? In fact, the ancients told us long ago-people speak lightly! The world will weigh you first and then evaluate your contribution.

10. Many people have an illusion that they can travel around the world, which has nothing to do with the general trend. It is really fascinating self-confidence and the luck given to you by the times. If you don't want to assume the role of taking care of the overall situation, you must bear the consequences of your own choice. Human beings are in debt from birth, and their own consumption will aggravate this debt. Even if you want to "close the door" yourself, you need someone else to help you pay your debts. Therefore, the choice of life is often a process of debt management.

04

visual angle

1. All addictive business models bring strong stickiness, which is the most important foundation in a fully competitive industry. No stickiness is first killed by opponents, and second abandoned by consumers. When you find a product with pricing power, which can make users addicted and will not be easily replaced by others, you are likely to find the next gold mine.

2. Traditional industries have experienced investment, competition, mergers and acquisitions, and liquidation. In this way, there are only a few players left in the final shuffle. Once the oligopoly pattern is formed, the gross profit margin begins to rise. That's what the so-called "the last is king" means. For example, everyone must call BAT today, which is a typical oligopoly pattern.

3. The philosopher Pascal said: Everyone is a deposed king. It means that everyone is born with a free kingdom of mind and a free kingdom of wealth. But a group of bad guys dragged us off the throne and drove us out of the palace-they were the will of genes.

Many people complain about how bad the leader is. In fact, there are only three solutions: either you replace him, or you leave, or you do your duty as a subordinate. If you have no ability to replace, you don't want to leave, and you don't like leadership, you can only be unhappy in the end. In this world, the most terrible thing is that the ability is not good and the mentality is not good. Everyone who has a bad life will inevitably have these two characteristics.

5.? Elizabeth, winner of the Nobel Prize in Physiology in 2009, summed up the way to live a long life: people should live to 100 years old, with a reasonable diet accounting for 25%, others accounting for 25% and psychological balance accounting for 50%! Only a happy mood is the ultimate pursuit of life.

6. Since the ordinary express has not been delivered to the door yet, it is all placed at a delivery point in the community, and then the user is notified to pick it up by SMS. The more exquisite courier will get the verification code tag, but nothing can be found in the parcel pile, so you can take it away. I feel that a trusted society is gradually forming at the grassroots level, and Taobao will profoundly change China again. ——@blogtd

7. Anyone with probabilistic thinking knows that hard work only improves the possibility of success, but it doesn't mean that you will succeed. What are the benefits of knowing this? It makes you tolerant and less anxious, both for people and for yourself. You can accept the failures and mistakes of yourself and others. Lian Yue

8. Regarding the concept of providing for the aged, I always think that to some extent, having money is much more important than companionship. When you are old, there is no dutiful son before you go to bed for a long time, and there are many children to accompany you, and you have no money or sacrifice all the quality of life of their families to maintain your life. It is useless to accompany you to suffer before you go to bed. No amount of filial piety is sometimes more reassuring than giving enough money. So this is a somewhat contradictory topic, and having money and leisure is the biggest test for children. No one is a heartless baiwenhang, and they are afraid that at some point, parents will be reluctant to part with their children's suffering all their lives, and they will still be reluctant to part with him when they die. This is an unavoidable moral cycle. So why should I work hard? Because I don't want my parents to secretly wipe tears when they are old. I want to give them the best medical conditions and enough money within my ability. These things can only be found in better places, although many parents don't understand them. Leaving is not equal to betrayal. The road ahead is long. He who laughs last is the real happiness. A long summer

9. People who don't know the rules, don't follow them, or make their own rules are the natural sources of conflicts. They are poison among friends, gunpowder in the mall and explosives in love. In short, they are extremely unstable dangerous goods. -Old Fog

10. Verbal abuse is not as easy to attract attention as physical abuse, because you can't see scars and leave no evidence, but its harm may be more serious than physical abuse.

05

intelligence

1. When your ability is strong enough, your influence in the eyes of others becomes more and more important. Even if you just smile at everyone, everyone will burst into tears and think you are so approachable. People must prove themselves-prove that they are worth it!

2. People always tend to think that they pay too much and get too little; People always tend to look down on their income and what they don't get.

3. People who like to judge you are just those who are in a mess in family affairs, staring at others every day, trying to find a balance from other people's misfortunes, or are bored to no pursuit.

The problems in life are the natural products of our character. No matter where you run, you can't escape yourself. Finally, you will find that the problems go hand in hand. It's not that others are tough, but that we are too weak. It's not how difficult things are, but our escape, which is too strong. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results. Make yourself a problem solver, not a problem that must be solved.

Just after work, waiting for the elevator for three minutes alone with the leader was the longest three minutes I have ever experienced, during which we had a conversation: "Are you off work?" "hmm."

6. Perfectionism is a disease and an escape. The world is imperfect. No matter how hard you try, mistakes will always happen. The more you do, the more mistakes you make. We should tolerate ourselves, our children, others and the world making some mistakes. This is the cost of running the world.

7. Some people stay in their bodies for a long time, and their whole bodies give off an unpleasant smell. For example, how disgusting is the editor of a third-line TV station eating tonight? The director took a bite of meat, and the minister quickly said: Leader, you are three high, just take this bite and give me the rest. The director also pretended: My brother is coming, and I must accompany him to eat meat! What the hell did I do to have dinner with these people? -@ Press and Pull

8. Kill the rich and help the poor. Savior culture can only be said to be the savior. The savior is not a man, but a Tao. Salvation is not a broken gobble, but an awareness. -"The Distant Savior"

9. Many people are like this. They always secrete their inner bad emotions and use them to make a mess of their lives and work. On the contrary, in a relatively unfamiliar situation, we will try our best to control ourselves with reason. Leave the worst to family and friends and the best to strangers. This is why many people always feel unhappy in their lives.

10. Verbal abuse is not as easy to attract attention as physical abuse, because you can't see scars and leave no evidence, but its harm may be more serious than physical abuse.

06

education

1. Recognize children's playful nature, but tell them to be moderate. And parents do it first, playing very moderately.

2. In my personal reading evaluation system, Fifteen Years of Wanli is a classic that is often read and updated. I gave this kind of classics a name: "Punctuation". "Punctuation" series means that words are as concise as punctuation, which is not only the benchmark of fields and occupations, but also the starting point of grand pattern, and it is also the singularity that the way of thinking and world outlook can be explosively upgraded. Another more important feature of this kind of books is that Upanishads can "rise with the readers' level and ideological progress, so as to truly keep reading and grow up with readers, which can not only have the light of enlightenment, but also have a profound realm.

3. Record your life honestly, select those fragments that you find interesting, don't decorate with resignation, don't consider the length of words, don't care about structure and writing style, just write them down. Truth has its own power, life has its own meaning, and nature itself contains all the possibilities of wonderful writing. What you can do is to record truthfully, don't scribble with a pen. In this way, ordinary people can also write a wonderful stroke, which makes professional writers admire. Because it has pure power that professionals don't have. -And vegetable heads.

The grand view of history can never be seen by books alone, especially by personal wisdom. Empirically speaking, only when you have experienced and been tortured by life can you set a complex view of history in advance and be similar with a different point of view from ordinary people. Be sure to shoot the railing all over, and swim through the crisis tunnel and dark loneliness of life, in order to know that one's ability is limited after all, the true meaning of life needs to be obtained in history, and the regularity of history can not be seen in a short time, but it takes a long time to open one's eyes to see it.

The goal of life is a structure that needs to be quantified. Target target, show the wood with your eyes. With the goal, split the goal, assemble the goal, enter the game, let your goal be recognized, and the entropy will drop, so you must be reborn. Burn the old self accumulated in the past years in continuous progress, clean up your face and strive for self-improvement, and the goal can be achieved.

6. Once in the elevator, a Xiong Haizi and his mother went to the eighth floor. We all came from the first floor. Entering the elevator, Xiong Haizi quickly pressed floors 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1 1. His mother gave him a look: "Why do you press it indiscriminately?" Xiong Haizi didn't say goodbye to outsiders. His mother smiled and said nothing. Then the elevator went to the fifth floor, and his mother pushed Xiong Haizi out in lightning speed and said, "You press it and get off here." Also quickly pressed the close button.

7. If a nation's culture is a weak cultural attribute in its bones, how can it carry the politics and economy of a strong culture? The measure of a cultural attribute is not the length of its accumulation, but its distance from objective laws. Five thousand years of splendid culture. This is no problem. However, traditional customs have passed the sieve of objective laws.

8. Recently, I was eating a big book "From Dawn to Decline", which talked about the changes of western culture in 500 years. What about us in the same period of the Renaissance? Fifteen years of Wanli. Then the breeze can't read, and the swift horse is sad to read. Today, how many ideas and CP have we produced that can compete with the above? Small Shenyang and Ji Xiaolan? It is not that the Qing people are not smart, but that they all use their intelligence to guess the imperial edict, rather than trying to figure out the truth. If Kangxi successfully borrowed it for 500 years, how can he explain the situation of racing in reverse gear? son of a feudal prince

9. While receiving school education, a child can find that learning knowledge is a pleasure, so as to explore and learn a beloved subject by himself, open his inner world, that is, find himself. Once you find your own existence, your life will be freed from the horror of being controlled by others and embark on the road of self-growth.

10. A strike is a strike. There is no strike education at all. Putting on the cloak of "education" is just to find a reasonable excuse for your misconduct. Psychologist Susan? In Poisoned Parents, Dr. Forward said that children can't tell the truth from jokes. They will believe what their parents say about themselves and turn it into their own ideas. The blow from parents, the injury effect is not only immediate, it runs through the years, like a needle deeply into the child's heart.

07

analyse

1. Image belongs to everyone. Others' kindness won't make your face shine. Other people's unbearable, will not discredit your face.

2. Sad people: witness other people's dreams come true in their own time; Poor people: afraid to try, still laughing at others.

It is natural to speak out against injuries, which makes people respect those who could have fought for others without paying a high price. —— @ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫

4. How many people at the age of 18 still can't tell what is a temporary craze and what is a lasting desire; I can't tell what is changeable desire and what is lasting ideal. "I want" is the biggest reason, but it is also the biggest trap. Because everyone likes to say these three words, but few people are willing to answer the question behind this sentence honestly: I am willing to pay for it. ......

5. "Broad" thinking, normal thinking, falling in love with such people, less troubles and more happiness. But only if you also like broad ideas and normal ideas. A pervert can only be happy if he falls in love with another pervert. Love is the combination of two people with similar ideas, and it doesn't necessarily need to be "right". The so-called "matching" theory is nothing more than generating two people with similar environment and equal economic strength. Various concepts are easy to approach, and the probability of "right" and "wrong" together is high and the conflict is small.

6. Anyone who is more beautiful, stronger and richer than me is working hard. Where can they talk about me? Those who point fingers every day are worse, weaker and poorer than me. Why should I care what they say? When you want to understand this, you should still care about other people's eyes. Then, once again confirm one sentence: everyone will rush to their own destiny because of their own personality and pattern!

7. If a fool can make a sustained and steady loss, then this person is very valuable, because in turn, he can make money. But in fact, the characteristic of most people is that there is no law to follow in making money and losing money, which is basically a straight line in the white noise spectrum. Doing right or wrong is the same thing. ——@Alex-supertramp

8. Besides the right to know, people should also have the right not to know, which is much more valuable. It means that a noble soul need not be full of nonsense and empty talk. For a person with a full life, too much information is an unnecessary burden. -Solzhenitsyn

9. In fact, our society is very strange, and it is particularly harsh on some irrelevant characteristics, such as being single, dink and gay. Then, they are very tolerant of the great features of some problems, such as violent tendencies, anti-social personality and pedophilia. What's the problem?

10. It's hard to owe people money. In a convenience store, you can't get a pack of chewing gum without giving money. Strangely enough, people forget this rule when they are familiar with it, and casually owe others money, apologize and respect it. When someone falls in love, it's even worse: no matter what I do, I hurt you, force you, torture you, and then say, because I love you, it's a common occurrence. Bah!

08

grow up

1. If you even need someone to enlighten you, be stared at, coaxed, encouraged, and advised not to do it, then you deserve to be poor.

2. Paulie said: "The sign of a person's maturity is to understand that 99% of what happens to him every day is meaningless to others."

3. Rene Liu said: "Loneliness is innate. It will not be lonely because you are alone, nor will it be complete because someone is with you."

I don't think people need to set themselves too high, which will increase the invisible pressure. As long as we treat ourselves as ordinary people, work hard and live every day seriously, the result may surprise us even more. What if there are no surprises? Most days are dull, and 90% of the happiness in our life happens in this dull day after day. The key lies in your own mentality and attitude towards life.

The so-called violent love rat is just a symbol, symbolizing the problems in our lives. The problem we face is not how to solve each other, but how to make ourselves strong and win the respect of the world with gentleness and tenacity.

Kafka said: The real road is used to trip people. If human beings want to get rid of gene slavery and gain love and freedom, they must seek the help of wisdom. Get rid of genetic control and your mind will be free. Jumping out of the limitations of truth is the real understanding of truth. -Learn to recognize yourself and solve problems in a higher dimension.

7. I used to care about some problems that I couldn't solve completely or even have the right to speak. I try my best to say, do and fight for it. I still care, but I'm too lazy to say it. Seeing so many people still talking, working hard and struggling ... I admire them now and myself before. Will our world be good? -@ Wang Xiaoshan

8. The real "being yourself" is not a habit of unscrupulous, selfish, but talking about "personality" and "self" on the basis of obeying rules, being polite to others and never interfering with others. There is never absolute freedom in this world, and all freedom is based on constraints.

9. Speaking of class solidification, in fact, no matter what a person's starting point is, no matter what the current environment is, it is good to live comfortably and be content. If a person wants to go further, it is as simple as putting up with what others can't stand and what talented people can't stand. But even if a person does this, he has grasped the objective law, and he must have an open-minded attitude. After all, there is an essential randomness between success and failure.

10. There has never been an easy success in this world. We need to endure the pain of taking off and tearing off the mask repeatedly every noisy night in order to shuttle through this crowd easily and exquisitely without losing our true self; You have to shake hands with all kinds of desires that disturb the world one after another, cut off any fetters that you couldn't get before, and take out your heart, so that you can enjoy the creation of this world. The mob dancing in the dark is the prelude to dawn; Only when I can endure suffering can I see the light of the sun.

09

Humorous

1. Xin Qiji: The literary talent with high martial arts is not as good as mine, and the literary talent with good martial arts is not as good as mine.

2. With the ingenuity of China people, the app "ofo Master Key" has not appeared yet, which is really unscientific.

3. What is a pluralistic society? Let herbivores eat grass, let carnivores eat meat, and let Altman beat his little monster.

4. What's it like to treat yourself online? Your neck hurts a little. After searching online for half an hour, you find that you only have three months left. ...

After four months of pregnancy, I finally saw two bars on the pregnancy test stick. I pretended to be calm and showed it to my husband. He may have just woken up, watched it for nearly a minute and said, "What about the crabs at home?" Still eating? "-@ obscene obscene obscene

6. I confessed to the goddess yesterday. She said that she would think about it and give me an answer tomorrow. This morning, she sent me a video of taking garlic with a knife. I think she must want me to garlic. The next day, she sent me another video of picking oranges. Ask the great god for an answer

7. One day, a salesman sold a treadmill to a boss. The boss said, "I don't need money to run on the road every day." The salesman smiled and said, "You can run at home every day if you buy my treadmill!" " "

8. The flea found that the mosquito's mouth was crooked and asked, "Brother, what's the matter?" Mosquito: "don't mention it, I found a naked man last night and didn't bite all night." The next morning I found that it turned out to be a statue. "

9. One day my husband asked me, "What will you do if I die?" I said, "It's embarrassing to go shopping and eat with my girlfriends." Then I asked him, "What will you do if I die?" He said savagely, "Go shopping with your best friend for dinner."

10. In the book Code of Humor, it is pointed out that humor exists in "benign conflict", that is, the performance of the other party gives people a psychological conflict, which is not the same as expected, but it is an appropriate conflict.

10

Pushing books

1. In The Count of Monte Cristo, the hero was put in prison, but accidentally studied astronomy and geography with the priest in prison and became a talented Count of Monte Cristo. If it is the same qualification, will there be a miracle behind it? The priest said, no. He said: "to develop the mysterious treasure hidden in human wisdom, you need to encounter misfortune;" To detonate the explosive, you need pressure. "A pile of chemicals, in a loose state, will not be detonated by explosives.

2. A brief history of the future. After 2045, human rational thinking will rise to spiritual thinking, and human rational technology will rise to spiritual technology. Humans will completely break away from infancy and infancy and really begin to mature. By then, human beings in today's sense have become extinct. As an earth species, human beings will no longer exist, but will be replaced by a new human being, as an interstellar species or a cosmic species.