Everyone told me a short humorous story, a short ancient and modern joke! ! Hurry up! !

A meat thief went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped to urinate in front of a toilet on the side of the road and hung the meat outside. A second saw this and stole the meat.

Let's go Before he could go far, A had come out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen someone take his from the toilet.

Meat. B was afraid that A would see through, so he put the meat in his mouth early and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! Hang the meat outside the door, how can you not hang it?

Lose? If you put meat in your mouth like me, is there any reason to drop it? "

-"Laughing Forest" by Wei Han Danchun

Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, was eloquent, especially good at word games. When he is not the king, he tries to play with the king, a senior minister.

Play. Wang laughed at the name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion,

More like' lack of talent'. Hearing this, he immediately laughed at the surname: "This word' Wang',

On the left, add "ㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡㄡ𞭑𞭑".

Out of the horn, the tail becomes a' sheep'. "The king listened to, tongue-tied, embarrassed.

On another occasion, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was present. During the dinner, Liu Yuanming poked fun at Xu Zhicai's surname and said:

"The word' Xu' means not to enter the people (the word' Wei' adds' Yu' and' Jin')." Xu Zhicai immediately laughed at Yuan Ming's surname-

-The word "Lu" (traditional "Lu"): The word "Lu" means "An".

People become' Lu' (Lu) and horses become' donkeys' (donkeys). "Lu Yuanming flushed and speechless.

Yes, the full house was laughing their heads off.

-The old title "Qi Yan Lu" by Sui Houbai

Bird's nest and calf Hou Bai later became officials in the Tang Dynasty, and often went to solve riddles on the lanterns with others. Hou Baixian made three chapters: "Guess."

Things, first, must be visible in kind; Second, you can't make empty explanations to confuse everyone; Third, if the explanation is finished, but see.

If you don't get it, you should be punished. Then he came up with a riddle: "The back is as big as a house, and the belly is as big as a pillow (the crossbar behind the car).

The mouth is as big as a cup. Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed right. They all said, "Where is the mouth as big as a cup with a back?"

Something as big as a house? There is no such thing. You must make a bet with all of us. "Hou Bai finished gambling with all, explain.

Said, "This is the nest of swallows." They burst out laughing.

On another occasion, Hou Bai attended a large banquet. During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for entertainment. Guess, neither.

It can be strange and hard to know, but it can't be abstract and unreal. Hou Bai replied, "There is something as big as a dog and looks like an ox. What is this? "

Everyone has been speculating, some say it's roe deer, others say it's deer, but they are all denied. Let Hou Bai tell the answer.

Hou Bai laughed and said, "This is a calf."

-The old title "Qi Yan Lu" by Sui Houbai

In the early years of Tianbao, Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, he asked Zhang Zhi for fame. The famous secretary He wrote to the imperial court and asked to retire to Wuzhong. Xuanzong

Li Longji respects him very much and treats everything differently.

When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears. Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had. Zhang Zhi said:

"I know Zhang has a son, whose name hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives you a name, it will be a great honor for the old minister to return home in clothes. " Xuanzong said, "Faith is the Tao.

Core, first, faith. Qing's son should be called Fu. "Know chapter thank humbly.

It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me. I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is

Add the word "Zi" under the word "claw". He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? "

-Kao Sung-yi "Living in Groups"

I don't know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poems. One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel. In the evening, he heard something in the next room.

People say, "A song." After a while, he said, "One more song." Ai Zi was baffled and sleepy all night.

Lying until dawn, * * * heard the man in the next room say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought that the person in the next room must be a poem.

People are immersed in poetry under the quiet mountain, feel respect in their hearts and like that person's quick thinking, so they decide to get to know this person.

Early in the morning, Ai Zi got dressed and got up, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to meet her. After a while, a vendor came out of the next room.

Here comes a man who looks like a man, thin and sick. Ai Zi was disappointed, thinking: With this respect, you look like a poet.

Perhaps, people can't judge people by their appearances, and they can't guess blindly. He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems." Can you ask the students to teach me? "

Take a look. "The man said," I am a businessman, and I never know what poetry is. Has refused to come up with poetry.

Let's go Ai Zi stubbornly said, "I heard you say' a song' in the house last night, and then said' a song'. Isn't it? "

Isn't it a poem? "

Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood. I had an upset stomach last night. Every time I have diarrhea, I can't find my hand at night.

Paper, so I wiped it with my hand. Diarrhea lasted all night, and my hands were dyed almost six or seven times. When I say "hands", I don't mean poetry.

First. "Ziyi listened, ashamed.

-The old topic on Ai Zi's essays.

Satire

A Scotsman went to London to visit an old friend, but he forgot the address, so he sent a telegram to my father: "Do you know Thomas' address?" Quick notification

On the same day, he received an urgent call back: "I know."

Three people went to new york for a holiday. They booked a suite on the 45th floor of a high-rise hotel.

One night, the elevator in the building broke down and the waiter arranged for them to spend the night in the lobby. Three Gorges blog

After discussion, they decided to walk back to their rooms and agreed to tell jokes, sing songs and tell stories in turn to reduce the fatigue of going upstairs.

After telling jokes and singing songs, we finally climbed to the 34th floor, and everyone felt exhausted.

"Well, Peter, you tell a humorous story.

Peter said, "The story is not long, but it is extremely sad: I left my room key in the hall."

The shortest answer is doing.

The shortest answer is action.