Classic lines in TV series "Mobile Phone"

Murphy glanced at the room card and whispered, misunderstanding, but who would believe it?

Yan Shouyi didn't speak.

Murphy: The room was open, but instead of going up, I sat in a coffee shop and talked about it. Think about it, have been struggling, or

Afraid of trouble.

Yan Shouyi didn't speak.

Murphy looked in the back room and leaned back on the sofa, saying in vain that for more than 20 years, he did have some aesthetic fatigue!

Yan Shouyi didn't speak.

Murphy lamented: It is better to be an agricultural society!

Yan Shouyi didn't understand, looking at murphy.

Murphy: At that time, transportation and communication were underdeveloped. Go to Beijing for an exam and don't come back for several years. When you come back, you say everything.

This is a given! (takes out his cell phone) Now ...

Yan Shouyi still looked at Murphy.

Murphy: Close, too close, too close to breathe!

2#

Morning hotel lobby

Yan Shouyi took a few steps and caught up with Murphy who had set foot on the escalator. The escalator is crowded with people, and everyone is greeting each other.

Murphy and Yan Shouyi also reply to you from time to time.

Fei Hei is wearing a casual jacket, which makes Yan Shouyi's suit and tie look a bit exaggerated.

Yan Shouyi took time to whisper to Murphy, I can't answer this question. It turned out to be a gift from someone. The car is not good, but the people are good.

Murphy's eyes dodged behind the camera: A graduate student majoring in aesthetics in China Academy of Social Sciences has some admiration for me.

Yan Shouyi: Fei Lao taught us again and again, please. You are in trouble.

Murphy lit Yan Shouyi with a chubby hand: Be kind.

3#

Highway night

Yan Shouyi drove, Shen Xue sat next to him and went home together. Yan Shouyi found that something was wrong with Shen Xue's mood and refueled in the car.

The atmosphere is a bit dull.

Yan Shouyi deliberately has nothing to say: Children's clothes are really good to buy.

Shen Xue interrupted: Before I came, how many of you ate together?

Yan Shouyi: Three! President Xu walked first!

Shen Xue: Yan Shouyi, I can see from the chopsticks on the table that you have always been two people!

Yan Shouyi was taken aback and immediately made compensation: the waiter accepted.

Shen Xue sneered, "Yan Shouyi, your lines are a little behind. (suddenly angry) What do you mean? not yet

Call me to demonstrate with her?

Yan Shouyi stuffy head driving, sigh for half a day, said it's really the two of us, but it's just to write a preface to Murphy.

I'm afraid you'll get suspicious, so I say so.

Shen Xue watched: Even she said that President Xu would go to Ann tomorrow. You didn't know what to do before I came in.

Planned. You said you wanted to turn over a new leaf. I think you want to have a relapse!

Yan Shouyi was in a hurry: You analyzed things so methodically. what do you want to do? I am looking for a wife, not his mother.

A spy! Doubt makes me look like a thief!

4#

Afternoon at the town post office

The old cow yawned and locked the wooden box on her mobile phone. A group of callers began to gather there again. follow close to the line of

One crowded in front, holding 20 cents (a 60' s wool ticket) and handing it to the old cow.

The old cow ignored him: where to fight?

Yan Shouyi hoarse voice: No.3 mine, I hit No.3 mine.

Niu Lao: No.3 Mine? I've been in charge of the telephone for more than a month, but the third mine has been unable to get through.

Lv Guihua leaned against the post office door frame and cast a worried look into it.

Yan Shouyi: Grandpa, it's urgent.

One big hand of the old cow is shaking the mobile phone: three mines, three mines!

The phone rang for a while, and then it was disconnected.

Niu Lao: Listen, I told you I couldn't get through. You still don't believe me. How many telephone poles do you need for more than 200 miles?

Yan Shouyi pleaded, Grandpa, try again.

The old cow stared at Yan Shouyi and shook the phone again. But to my surprise, I survived this time. From the other side of the microphone.

Sound.

Recipient: Where, where do you want it?

Niu Lao: I don't want you, I want the third mine!

The other party: I am the third mine here, I am the third mine here! (Henan dialect, classic)

5#

Three catties of cattle, three catties of cattle

Your wife's name is Lu Guihua.

Lv Guihua asked.

Have you been back recently?

6#

Beijing expressway got in the car in the morning.

Yan Shouyi, 40, is wearing a pair of sunglasses and driving on the expressway in the outer ring of Beijing. Sit next to him.

Murphy, the chief planner of Youyi Yi Shuo. Murphy is in his forties, a university professor, likes to put on airs, loves to be a mentor, and is fat.

Wearing a pair of wide-brimmed glasses, camel-colored trench coat and a scarf around her neck, she belongs to the pseudo-conservative intellectuals. Look at both sides

Murphy slowly pointed to the road of this country.

Fei Modala made a face: every program was seriously injured. In Call, you described the inventor of the telephone as Watt.

That's a real pity.

Yan Shouyi was taken aback: Who invented it?

Fermat: Does Bell know?

7#

In-car morning

Murphy asked incredulously, What's the matter?

Yan Shouyi said hesitantly, I left my mobile phone at home!

Murphy: There is no time. The video will be recorded soon.

Put your hand on the steering wheel and stare at the traffic ahead: Yu is at home today!

Murphy said meaningfully: I tell you, there are ghosts in your heart these days! Do ghosts make phone calls?

Yan Shouyi: I don't know.

Murphy took out his cell phone and said, "Let me know if there's anything. Faster than going home!

Yan Shouyi: I'd better take it with me.

Fermat: What a bother!

8#

I handed the phone and said, there was a woman just now. As soon as she heard it was me, she hung up.

Yan Shouyi took the phone, bring up the call to check.

I asked again: She spoke a little rashly.

Yan Yan came out and said, The press, students in Zhang Xiaoquan. A crazy girl, always talking.

9#

Live TV day

On the recording scene of Friendship Yi Shuo. The audience is full. The band is improvising a light music.

The long arms of several aerial cameras are waving around looking for seats. Headlights on, Yan Shouyi stood on the table, in front of a fiery field.

.

Yan Shouyi: Before recording the program, I will tell you in advance. It's obviously daytime, but I'll talk about it later.

In the evening, because our program premiered at night; Please don't laugh when I say that day is night.

Everyone laughed.

Yan Shouyi began to host this program. He bowed deeply first, and then said with a big smile: Good evening, everyone. Here is "There is one".

Say one, I'm Yan Shouyi. The topic discussed with you today is "How many years of marriage is a hurdle", the planning of this program.

be

Our new female college student is not married yet.

Everyone laughed.

Yan Shouyi: Before discussing, let me give you and the audience in front of the TV a review. Last time I called.

In the program, I described the inventor of the telephone as Watt, our chief planner, and Mr. Murphy, a university professor.

Yes, I usually take classes in college and occasionally come to pick on us. Mr. Fei is young and knowledgeable, and I

The children called him Fei Lao, and this time Watt and I bumped into his gun again. He knew Bell well, so he said that the telephone was not a tile.

Specially invented; I just called Watt, and Watt also said that telephones are relatively common. If you want to invent steam, you should invent steam.

Machine. It seems that I was wrong. I would like to extend my deep apologies to the vast number of TV viewers!

Yan Shouyi bowed deeply again, and everyone applauded and laughed.

10#

Tour guide room

In the pilot room where Yan Shouyi hosted the program, Murphy and other "Talk alone" staff.

Looking at Yan Shouyi's master through a row of monitors. Murphy smiled when Yan Shouyi said to call Watt.

Yan Shouyi in The Monitor: How many years of marriage is a hurdle? Three years, five years? As the saying goes, the seven-year itch, I am married now.

How many people have been married for more than seven years?

The audience raised many arms.

Yan Shouyi: It seems that the proportion of survivors is still very high. ...

1 1#

Theatre Academy Classroom Afternoon

The female teacher closes the roster: there should be 20 students in our class, but there are actually 1 1. Those who don't arrive are regarded as truancy! (then

My name is Shen Xue, and I am your tutor for this short-term training course. On the first day of class, nearly half of the students

People are absent from class, as if counseling is unnecessary; I have watched all the programs hosted by you, and I don't want to judge your program content.

What I want to say is that your lines are not standardized. One is pronunciation, the other is enunciation, which is the most basic thing to speak.

. According to the requirements of our college, an actor can sit on the stage and say every word without a microphone.

The audience in the last row heard it. ...

Then someone interrupted: You mean19th century, right?

Shen Xue left the podium and went to Yan Shouyi, who looked down at his mobile phone. As he walked, he spoke and pronounced, obviously from the mainland.

You must learn Taiwan Province accent ... No cell phones in class, Yan Shouyi, you know?

Yan Shouyi quickly raised his face and said with a smile, sorry, I didn't call.

Shen Xue: I know you are all famous mouths, and I respect you, but I also hope you can respect me.

Yan Shouyi: Miss Shen, you are so serious. This class is just a form of preparing for the Taiwan Province exam.

Shen Xue was livid with anger by Yan Shouyi's words. Just then, Yan Shouyi's cell phone rang.

Yan Shouyi looked down at the phone, then looked up at Shen Xue and said, why don't you go through the motions?

Shen Xue word, grabbed Yan Shouyi's cell phone and threw it into the trash can.

Shen Xue: This is not your TV station, this is a university! I'm defending the school rules!

Yan Shouyi is also a bit serious, pointing out of the window: Teacher Shen Xue, I think you should help me pick it up!

Shen Xue and everyone in the classroom were stunned.

Shen Xue finished Yan Shouyi, turned and walked outside the classroom. I blushed as I walked and said, I can't attend this class today.

12#

The classroom was empty, only Shen Xue and Yan Shouyi.

Shen Xue looked at Yan Shouyi with tearful eyes: In the future, if you are in my class, I will leave!

Embarrassed, Yan Shouyi tried to save the situation and sincerely said, Miss Shen, I was wrong. I confessed this morning.

Taiwan Province is unhappy. He asked me to write a check. (Pulling out a piece of paper full of words) If you need it urgently, I will.

You go first.

Shen Xue still sullenly.

Yan Shouyi leaned down and handed the inspection to Shen Xue with both hands: Although the mistake was different, it was too late to regret it. first

I'm joking with you.

Shen Xue laughs: shameless.

13#

In the car at night

Yan Shouyi's hand reached for the car key plugged into the power supply and started the car. At this moment, wuyue's face suddenly stuck on Yan Shouyi.

He lay on his back, tore open his shirt collar and took a hard bite on his arm.

Yan Shouyi unbearable pain, "ouch". He shook off wuyue's mouth, touched its back and said, Are you a dog? Youngest

! Wuyue reached for the car keys, turned off the car and pulled out the keys.

Yan Shouyi leaned back in his chair and said, I really have to go.

Wuyue pushed open the car door and threw the car keys on the side road.

Outside the car at night

A lighter was hit, reflecting Yan Shouyi's face and some local ground.

Yan Shouyi bent down to look for the car keys on the ground. At this moment, the cell phone in his pocket rang. Yan Shouyi took out his mobile phone and answered the phone.

. I heard Yu's voice on the phone: Are you coming back for dinner?

Yan Shouyi continued to fumble for the key in the dark and replied, I'm going to attend a short training class this afternoon to plan the meeting and move it to the evening.

Not going back.

Yu: Are you outside?

Yan Shouyi made a casual gesture: On the way, he was looking for Fei Lao for dinner.

I hung up the phone. At this time, a hand picked up the key from the ground. It's wuyue.

Wuyue put her arms around Yan Shouyi: I won't let you go!

Wuyue put his arm around Yan Shouyi's back, clutching the car keys.

Yan Shouyi also hugged wuyue, and his hand turned off his cell phone behind wuyue.

The screen of the mobile phone lights up, and then it goes out.

14#

Murphy's family is downstairs at night.

The two dogs rushed together and the owner pulled back desperately. But one dog struggled to ride to another.

On the head.

The owners of both sides finally pulled them away. One of the dogs belongs to Murphy.

Murphy: Blind people are also the public.

15#

Living room night

Yan Shouyi's cell phone suddenly rings, which is especially shocking at night.

Yan Shouyi concealed his inner panic, took out his cell phone in his pocket and said noisily, Who's calling so late?

I won't even answer it!

I said to him, let me answer for you.

The man subconsciously shrank back, and then had to give Wen the phone.

Wen turned on his mobile phone, and there came an urgent voice.

Fermat: You finally opened it. Where is it? I called you!

Murphy's voice also reached the ears of Yan Shouyi. Wen-silent, hang up the phone, eyes staring at the strict.

One. Yan Shouyi know things make big, but at that time also don't know how to end.

Just then, the mobile phone rang and a small envelope flew into the screen. The bottom of the envelope shows that the sender is wuyue.

Open the message, the content is: don't take off your underwear when you sleep.

16#

Yan Shouyi got divorced. From the street office, he wanted to say one more word to his wife, but it didn't take long.

I found it. Half a year passed, and he called Wen many times, but Wen never answered.

17#

Soft sleeper on the train

Shen Xue tells jokes to Yan Shouyi and Murphy in Henan dialect.

Shen Xue: My son practices push-ups every day. My father asks, Son, what are you doing? The son said: I practice pectoralis major. Father said

It's no use practicing, and it's not as big as your sister.

Yan Shouyi: We Henan people are not that stupid. In the Song Dynasty, we Henan people had to teach you to speak. Turn on the TV, everyone

The hosts all speak Henan dialect; From national leader Song Huizong to prostitute Li Shishi, they all say so. You are now.

The Beijing dialect I spoke was called nonsense at that time. Do you know how nonsense comes from?

Murphy lit Yan Shouyi with a fan and said to Shen Xue, Snow White, you are talking nonsense. Li Shishi is from Hangzhou, and said:

It is Wu language.

18#

Yan Shouyi's cell phone rang.

A closer look reveals that wuyue's name is displayed on the mobile phone screen. He hesitated and replied.

Wuyue's voice came from the mobile phone: What are you hiding from? Are you that busy? Cann't eat you ...

Yan Shouyi is playing dumb: Go ahead ... I can't hear you ... Speak loudly ... Can you hear me? I am on the train

Go home! hey ...

The other party hung up the phone.

Murphy Park Jung Su Yan Shouyi: It's really great. I heard everything, but you didn't hear it.

Yan Shouyi looked at Murphy. Be polite, Phil.

19#

Yan Shouyi pulled out a stack of money from his bag and pushed it over: Brother Brick, this is 5000 yuan. Take it all.

Brother Brick immediately became anxious: Who are you disgusting? She is your milk, not mine? Your father and my father are not the same mother?

At this moment, the cell phone at Brother Brick's waist rang. He took out his mobile phone from his holster, pulled out his antenna, took a look at Yan Shouyi and put it in again.

Have a good posture and answer the phone carefully.

Brother Brick: Damn it, who ... can't ... stop fighting, it costs money.

Then learn the posture of the city people, push the antenna of the mobile phone back with the edge of the table, put the mobile phone in the holster and press it.

Buckle it.

Brother Brick's actions made Yan Shouyi stunned. He waited quietly for a while and asked who it was.

Brother Brick: Lu Zhixin told me to kill pigs. Shit, look, I bought a mobile phone and he bought one, too. He is nobody in Beijing.

!

Keep smiling: two steamed buns, one in the same street, can smell farting, and shouting is faster than dialing.

20#

There is a planning meeting in the "Friendship Yi Shuo" column. You can still hear the audience shouting outside. Five or six male and female directors and Yan.

Sit at the dining table and sofa for a while. Pony, the female director, is taking minutes of the meeting. Murphy is wearing a China cotton-padded jacket with a collar.

There is a scarf on the chair, sitting on a Hunan rattan chair, condescending to comment on the program.

Murphy said word for word: As I said last time, making a program is like going to the supermarket. I have to say this time, making a show is like mixing.

Small carrot ...

Just then, Duan's cell phone rang. Looking at the big screen and turning on the phone, Murphy stopped talking.

Da Duan answered the phone in a faltering tone: Yes ... Ah ... Good ... Oh ... Um ... Cough ... (There is no pause.

) ..... I heard it.

Because the mobile phone was inexplicably connected, everyone pricked up their ears instead. Da Duan looked up and found that everyone was watching him.

Yan Shouyi was a little excited at this moment: It must be a woman. (see section to defend, Yan Shouyi stopped by hand.

I can translate. (Yan Shouyi learns male voice and female voice) How was your meeting? That's right. Is it inconvenient to talk? Ah.

Then I'll say you listen. All right. I miss you. oh Did you miss me? Hmm. You were really bad yesterday. Cough. Give me a kiss. (

(pause) Then I'll give you a kiss. Did you hear that? (At this time, everyone * * * together) I heard it!

Everyone burst into laughter. Only Murphy kept a straight face and said nothing. Yan Shouyi realized something and motioned for everyone to be quiet.

Then he made a sign to Murphy, asking him to continue.

Murphy: Then I'll say radish. Usually radish skin is considered useless, but …

At this moment, Pony's cell phone for recording rang. Pony walked to the balcony while answering the phone. Murphy stopped talking again. follow close to the line of

A busy pony handed the notebook to him.

Yan Shouyi: Fei Lao, we won't wait for her.

Fermat: We have to wait. I can't say it for everyone once. (gesturing stubbornly to wait for the pony)

Yan Shouyi shouted to the balcony, Pony, hurry up!

Pony hung up the phone and walked back. Murphy added.

Murphy: Then I won't talk about radishes. Let me talk about bears. Programming is like a bear breaking a stick. ...

Just then, Yan Shouyi's cell phone rang.

Yan Shouyi: Who is it? I'm not working! (The tone becomes a little helpless) Then give the phone to the doorman. I am very strict.

One, register her.

Duan: Are you playing now? Our present doorman is very talkative.

They laughed again. Murphy was really angry at this moment, so he put his briefcase away, put it under his arm and went out. Yan Shouyi

Murphy station.

Yan Shouyi told the crowd: Turn off your cell phone during the meeting and listen carefully to Fei Lao's speech. Be serious.

Murphy Yan Shouyi: I don't think you're serious. (throwing his briefcase on the table and asking) What did I just say?

Yan Shouyi flipped through her notebook quickly, and her expression was extremely serious: You talked about supermarkets, radishes and bears. (Look up, Fan.

What are you trying to say, Phil?

They tried to laugh again, but they were all restrained.

Fermat: I don't know what to say! But I think we should do a program called "Mobile Phone".

. Yan Shouyi) "I'm not in Taiwan Province" first, and that's nonsense. The mobile phone is connected to your mouth, and the mouth is connected to you.

Heart. (Ignite everyone again) How much nonsense and boring words did you say on your mobile phone? Chinese is very concise,

Now everyone is insincere. How many skeletons are hidden in the mobile phone? If we continue to make trouble like this, this hand will sooner or later

The opportunity turned into a Grenade

2 1#

Wuyue was carrying a bag, and the two men walked and said.

Wuyue: Don't be afraid. It's business to see you today. Murphy will publish a book in our club, and our chairman wants you to write one.

Order.

Yan Shouyi was a little surprised: Is it inappropriate for me to preface Murphy? If you want to write a book, I can write a preface like you.

No culture, no blushing.

Wuyue stopped: OK, I'll write it. I'm afraid I have no money to spend. The title of the book is "You Say One", (bite a tooth and say

) Expose your ugly face completely. The cover should also be marked "Not suitable for children".

Yan Shouyi sullenly grabbed wuyue's shoulder and walked on: I think the name of the book should be "I dedicate my youth to you"

22#

Yan Shouyi: I think there are two kinds of books. If I write a book, I can relieve everyone's boredom, but it's just like Teacher Fei's.

The works are instructive for us to know ourselves. After reading teacher Fei's book, I realized that human beings are learning to speak.

Before using body language, it was difficult to make one thing clear, and it was necessary to dance for half a day; Cheating is even harder. Show your hands for a day.

, it may not deceive people; After talking, it's much easier to cheat. Just talking ...

23#

Then the middle-aged teacher: What's the matter? No, next.

Xiao Su called again, Feng Siyu.

24#

Yan Shouyi sat up from the bed.

Come on, I thought wuyue was joking and pretending as if nothing had happened: I know you bought a new mobile phone with this function, so you can record it.

What are you doing?

Wuyue: Look what you did to me.

Yan Shouyi: I can't marry you.

Wuyue: I'm not that naive. I found a job for your wife, so please find me a job.

Yan Shouyi: Don't you have a job?

Wuyue: Aren't you looking for a host for the person you mentioned? I have signed up, I hope there are no competitors.

Yan Shouyi know wu month is serious at this moment, stood there. Yan Shouyi: You are really ... you are blackmailing!

Wuyue: This is an exchange. After three years, you can't let me have nothing, can you?

Yan Shouyi buried his head in his hand with bare arms. I looked up for a long time and said, this matter has to be considered in the long run.

Wuyue: Yan Shouyi, I'm not discussing with you! I also tell you, do you really think that our president has arranged Wen's work?

Is it your face?

Strictly speaking, the five mountains.

Wuyue: He used me!

Stand there strictly.

25#

Yan Shouyi has never used his mobile phone since he returned to Beijing. After winter, he caught a cold and didn't have it for a long time.

All right. The cold has caused inflammation of the vocal cords, and my voice is as hoarse as when a teenager changed his voice. He asked for leave from the TV station.

I have been sick at home for half a year. In the past six months, several things have happened. First, wuyue went to "Another Easy Master" as the host; two

Murphy went abroad to Estonia. It is said that he taught Chinese in a language school and has not been heard from since. Third, he and

Shen Xue broke up. They had a meal together on New Year's Eve. He said to Shen Xue, I miss Fei Lao a little.