What are some short stories about coaxing your girlfriend to sleep?

The princess is bored.

So he told the captain of the guard: Hey, you go and kill the evil dragon in the mountain, and I will marry you.

The captain of the guard rolled his eyes and thought, I am already in my thirties, how can I have time to coax a little girl like you? He said: "Evil dragon, it's too troublesome. How about I steal your father's bottle of wine for you to drink, and you can marry me."

The princess said that’s fine.

When the evil dragon heard that he was worse than a bottle of wine, his self-esteem was hurt, so he wrote a poem.

The moon has three me in this world.

One is entering greasy middle age

One was killed by the poet on the tip of his pen

The other is burning with a sword in his hand.

And the last one...

The evil dragon had no inspiration and could not continue writing. When he got angry, he kidnapped the princess.

The princess is very boring.

So he told the evil dragon: Cancer, I want to eat braised pork.

The evil dragon said: I think you look like braised pork.

The princess said again: Then you can carry me out and fly around twice.

The evil dragon said: Oh, let me go, you are kicking your nose and getting into trouble, who are you dating? I am a kidnapper. Do you understand the kidnapper?

The princess said: I want to go to Disney!

The dragon carried the princess to Disneyland.

The princess is very boring.

So he shouted on the dragon's back: Help, help.

But no one came to save her. The princess felt a little hurt about her self-esteem. She thought, then I will write a letter to the prince.

Prince, come to my rescue and kill the dragon on the way. I will marry you.

The prince wrote back to her and said,

I am your brother!

The princess thought about it, yes, men are not trustworthy. So I wrote a letter to my best friend, the busty female general.

Sister, come to my rescue and I’ll treat you to Japanese food.

The female general thought about it, how can I defeat the dragon? Let’s ask the bishop for help.

Just go to the leisure hall and knock on the door, bang bang bang, bishop, bishop.

The bishop is only 20 years old. Because he is handsome, he was chosen by moms, aunts, sisters and fans. He is worried about how to abstain from sex in order to maintain his sanctity. When he hears that the big-breasted female general is coming to smash him. Door, his face turned red. I said it in my heart, it was over, I was in love with her, why did she come, I was a little panicked, my idol has such a heavy burden.

The bishop shouted, "Here comes someone!"

The saint entered the room and asked what the bishop had ordered.

The bishop said why is it you, where are the others?

The saint said that everyone else was invited by the princess to attend the dragon's party in the mountains.

The bishop said that you should help me change my clothes.

As soon as the prince heard that the bishop asked the saint to change his clothes, he exploded his crown.

Oh, yes, he is a prince and does not have a crown yet.

As soon as the prince heard that the bishop asked the saint to change his clothes, he exploded his father's crown.

The prince and his guards surrounded the Xianzhe Hall. Tell me to beat the bishop for me.

The female general came up with her chest puffed out and said: One day, God was playing golf with Moses. God hit a ball particularly wide, and Moses laughed at him. God became angry, and rain came down from the sky. The monstrous flood submerged the whole earth, and finally a little bird was left, which flew to the golf course, picked up the ball, and put it in the hole. Moses quit at that time and went up to push God and said: Are you here to play ball or to make trouble?

The prince gave the female general a black question mark emoji and said: Go ahead and open it.

Just as I was talking, the bishop and the saint came out and asked what they were talking about.

The saint saw the prince pinching his nose and said: Have you smoked?

The prince said: No.

The saint grabbed the prince’s ear and said: Oh, have you learned to lie?

The female general and the bishop were embarrassed to see them flirting.

When the female general had nothing to say, she asked: Ah, are you doing well recently?

The bishop scratched his head and said: It’s not bad, but idols carry a heavy burden.

The captain of the guard saw that none of the four people were serious. He was so angry that he went into the mountain to rescue the princess with his broken sword.

When I went to the mountains, I was knocked down by the evil dragon several times.

The evil dragon stepped on the captain of the guard with his foot. He looked at it and thought, oh, didn’t this guy lead people to block my grandson fifteen years ago?

Say: Fifteen years ago, did you think you would end up like today?

The captain of the guard said: What will happen to me?

The evil dragon said: I am only in my thirties and I am still a bachelor.

The captain of the guard burst into tears and said: Just kill me.

The princess ran over and pulled the captain of the guard out from under the evil dragon's feet, and said: Why are you a bachelor? Didn't I agree to marry you?

When the evil dragon saw this situation, he put out his cigarette butts, spit fire, and burned the captain of the guard and the princess, the bishop and the female general, the prince and the saint to death.

This story is called: I am single and you always invite me to answer questions about coaxing my girlfriend. I am really a little angry.