Jokes about school cooking.

A turtle crossed the river to attend the forest convention. There is a river to cross on the way. This turtle can't use any tools or animals to help. How did it get there?

Of course, the answer is not dizzy. It is said that the tortoise thought for a long time and didn't come up with it. That is to say, the people who are thinking about the answer are turtles, hehe.

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where are the rivers in China?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky?

That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou.

The teacher is short of breath: get out!

Student: Just leave.

The teacher said helplessly, are you sick?

Student: You have everything I have!

Teacher: Try again. .....

Student: shout when you see an uneven road!

Teacher: Do you believe I hit you?

Student: Do it when you should. ...

The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school!

Student: Rush into Kyushu.

Yesterday at the wine bureau, Xiao Liu didn't drink enough and asked not to drink. Finally, he said he might as well tell you a cold joke. Everyone will say. "It is said that it is a blue sea, a blue sky and a silver beach. An ant passed by the beach and left a trace of a line. Why? "

Everyone has different opinions. Some say that this ant has only one leg, while others say that this ant is male and has profound skills. Are denied by Xiao Liu one by one. Xiao Liu said: This ant rides a bike. Everyone froze at once!

Then Xiao Liu added: Blue sea and blue sky, silver beach, rabbit ran home after playing on the beach, thirsty, ready to rush to the refrigerator and take out a can of carrot juice to drink, but before he opened the refrigerator door, he knew there were ants in it and was very angry. Why?

What everyone doesn't know is that an uncle said it must be Siemens' refrigerator, and the door is transparent. Be spoiled by everyone. Xiao Liu said: the ant's bike is parked at the door of the refrigerator! Everyone is frozen again!

At this time, the atmosphere was chaotic, and everyone stopped drinking and shouted cold jokes. Finally, there is no way out, and there is a new rule: whoever says not to laugh, just drink it himself. This idea was put forward by Lao Yang, who is usually unsmiling. Think about it, you may end up drinking too much.

Then everyone tells jokes if they don't want to drink. Among them, Xiao Liu is the funniest. He told jokes with both hands and feet, and everyone laughed so hard that their stomachs ached. Then Lao Yang said, I'll tell you one. I need a person to cooperate. Xiao Liu, just you.

Then everyone was quiet. At this time, Lao Yang had drunk almost. Lao Yang said, Xiao Liu, try your best to say "cat" ten times. Xiao Liu wondered: Cat, cat, cat just said enough for ten. Lao Yang quickly asked: What do rats fear most? ! Xiao Liu said: Cat ~ Lao Yang at this moment is just like the arrogance of evil characters in costume martial arts dramas after absorbing the skills of others for 500 years. He laughed: mice are most afraid of cats? ! Everyone was shocked. Later, Lao Yang sat on the stool angrily and said, Oh, I said it backwards. My daughter made me say the mouse ten times. Boom, the whole table collapsed with laughter. Liu was foaming at the mouth and said, Lao Yang, I'm going to take you away for the rest of my life. This is the coldest joke I have ever heard. I'll punish myself for a few drinks. Just say it.

I not only have a car, but also my own!

If you like, I'll buy it for you ... (after realizing that the other person is angry) Oh, no, it's "brother, I'll buy it for you!" " "

So many people despise me. Who are you?

Not only am I lucky, but also athlete's foot!

Mirrors always reflect light!

Give it to me, and you don't have to worry, there is no problem!

Relax, I'm not a good person. ......

How dare I charge you if you don't thank me!

Don't tell me to bring it on-I have two generations of love!

If you ignore me, I'll be a dog!

When did the moon begin to appear? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

I can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!

You said ... do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.

Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? You choose!

Hey, say what you should, and whisper what you shouldn't.

Can you say stealing about a scholar?

Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy.

As a typical failure, you really succeeded!

I really want to kill this bug, but my tongue is not long enough. ...

Three heads are better than one, and one is Zhuge Liang.

In this golden autumn of red leaves and maple leaves. ......

If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe!

A: Where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let's go to the restaurant. It's on me.-the hose.

I have a white tiger with a left dragon and a right tiger, and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my waist.

A: Without revenge, it is difficult to swallow this evil spirit.

B: Then how can I let you die?

She is so fat that my thighs can't twist her arms.

There is a road in Shushan, clean first, and there is no limit to learning the sea.

Who is sitting in the village today? He doesn't even clean the blackboard!

How much is this pair of shoes?

Is this blind man blind?

One person scolds another person: "I really want to spit a bubble in your face!" " "

One of the dormitory jumped up after drinking someone else's boiling water and shouted, "God, it's so hot that pigs can't stand it."

One of my junior high school classmates likes to touch other people's heads. One day, I touched their heads and said, "My head is quite round." Bored, the classmate shook his hand and said, "Don't give me eggs."

The school is building apartment buildings for the teaching staff, and the sales price has not come out for a long time. That day, my colleague asked me if the price of the apartment had been determined. How much is it per square meter? I said 1 157. He asked why it was so cheap, and I replied with a smile: this 1 157 is "in the foreseeable future".