Asking for Qian Feng's classic jokes.

1. Last night's joke was that astronauts used adult diapers. Qian Feng quickly responded: "Adult diapers are not wet, give someone a name." Wang Han said coldly that they were not interested in knowing the answer, so they ignored him. However, Ou Di couldn't help it later and said, "Sorry, brother, I want to know Qian Feng's answer."

Fabolous immediately excitedly proudly stood up? Adult diapers, including ~ ~ ~ adults! ! !

2. Wang Han: "Turn 360 degrees."

Qian Feng: "Wow, it's hot!"

3. Qian Feng asked everyone: "Why is the penguin's belly white?" Then everyone couldn't guess, and he told everyone that the answer was:

"Because penguins have short hands, they can only bathe in front."

4. One day, a person fished and caught a squid. The squid said, "Please leave me alone." The man said, "I'll test you a few questions and I'll let you go if you answer them." The squid said, "OK, OK, you can take the exam." As a result, the man baked it.

There are five people walking side by side in the street. Suddenly a typhoon came and knocked down a billboard, but only three people were killed. Why? Because that's McDonald's ("M")

6. A match is walking on the road. It felt that its hair was itchy, so it scratched its hair and caught fire.

7. Customer: "Why doesn't the wine you sell smell of alcohol?"

The waiter smelled it and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mix your wine."

8. How much does a star weigh? 8 grams, because the star is 8 grams (Starbucks)

9. There is a steamed stuffed bun. He was hungry and ate himself.

10. Qian Feng: Do you know the name of the tiger?

OD: Tiger

Qian Feng: Wrong! !

Everybody: What?

Qian Feng: Dandan!

Everyone:

Qian Feng: Because the tiger is Dandan.

1 1. Wang Han asked a girl what her major was, and the girl replied that she was studying mathematics in Fudan. Then the eldest brother continued to ask the girl what she wanted to do after graduation, and the girl replied that she wanted to be a director. Later, brother Han said, why do all the students in the department of mathematics want to be directors? Then Xiaofeng said, big brother, because now it's all digital movies ~ ~ ~

12. Once a group of young scientists came, a Beijing baby said that there were five poisons in his house, and spiders were weaving webs beside his bed. Then Qian Feng said, "One good thing is that there are no mosquitoes ..."

A cold wind blew, and Wang Han and Ou Di immediately got out of the way. Come on, let me give you a private interview.

Qian Feng walked up to the little scientist and asked coldly, Are there any mosquitoes in your house?

13. A man is climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. The man said, happy birthday!

14. The number you dialed cannot be connected. Why? Because Ningbo is far from Beijing.

15. There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked. ...

16. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his own hair, one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ..........

17. Wang Han: "The tea is cold." Ou Di: "No, Qian Feng didn't tell cold jokes. How can tea be cold! " Ou Di nudged him and said, "Xiaofeng, let's have a cold joke. "。"

There is a cake in the forest. He is lost and can't walk out. Guess who encouraged him to go out.

Athena Chu chocolate cake

Qian Feng's Quotations: Circuit boards can be an alchemist.

Qian Feng's Quotations 2: Know yourself and know yourself, and you will be invincible.

Qian Feng's Quotations 3: Walking = Paulie Baoqi was sent away.

Qian Feng's Quotations 4: Golden Pig = Golden Spider.

A boy said his nickname was Jolin, and everyone began to think about why.

Wang Han: Is it because vegetables are soaked like jolin that they grow taller?

Qian Feng: I see. Because he is1.90m, he is called jolin.

A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird.

A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient, What would you do if I cut off one of your ears? The patient replied, then I can't hear you. The doctor listened: mm-hmm. It is normal. The doctor asked again, what if I cut off your other ear again? The patient replied, then I can't see it. The doctor is getting nervous. How could I not see it? The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.

There are two mental patients. They escaped from the hospital.

They run and run. They climbed a tree.

One of them jumped from the tree.

Go away, go away.

Then he looked up and said to the man above, hey-why don't you come down?

The man above answered him: no-good-ah-

I'm not familiar with it.

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wear black clothes and hold a black umbrella every day.

Squatting in front of a mental hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor was dressed in black, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two spent a month in silence.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

Excuse me-

Are you a mushroom, too

Once upon a time, there was a man named Cai Xiao who was abandoned and spoiled overnight ~ ~

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" (It's cold enough,,,)

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" "

Hearing this, the polar bear tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" " "

(It's very cold ...)

A long time ago, a bird passed a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield.

All the corn turned into popcorn. When the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold. ...

Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand to make coffee?

Xiaomei said: right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are awesome. You are not afraid of scalding, just like I use a spoon.

The little snake asked Brother Snake in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?"

The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

Once upon a time, tomato A and tomato B went shopping together.

Then one day suddenly a truck rushed out.

Squeeze the tomato nails through.

Tomato b laughs at tomato a.

[hahaha ketchup ~]

Someone looks like a sweet potato and fell down while walking. ..

There is a man who looks like an airplane, flying while walking.

There is a man who looks like chocolate and eats while walking.

There is a person who looks like a light bulb and lights up when he walks.

There was a man named Xiaohua who was picked while walking.

There was a man named Coke who was drunk when he walked.

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks.

Wife: Before I married you, I was really blind and stepped in shit.

Husband: I was really blind enough to step on shit before I married you.

Shit: I'm so unlucky! Lying there, you both stepped on it. ..

Stretch four fingers,

What is this?

Four,

Bend four fingers,

What is this?

wonderful

One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin."

The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? "

"But, but why do I feel so cold?" (This ..... is extremely cold,,,)

The complete works of Qian Feng's classic jokes.

1. A man was fishing and caught a squid.

Then the squid said, "Don't kill me, don't kill me, please let me go."

The man said, "well, I'll test you a few questions."

Squid said, "Take the exam, take the exam quickly!" " "

Then the man baked it.

2. Qian Feng: "Why is the penguin's belly white?"

Everyone is at a loss.

Qian Feng: "Because penguins have short hands, they can only touch the front when taking a shower."

A cake got lost in the forest and couldn't get out. Guess who encouraged him to go out?

Pigs, because of chocolate cake.

4. Qiu Lin = 90

A boy said his nickname was Jolin, and everyone began to think about the reason. Wang Han: Is it because the vegetables grow taller as soon as they get wet? Qian Feng: I know, because he is 1.90 meters. After that, it's like a cold wind blowing, and the boy keeps nodding wildly (dude, you know me ~ ~).

5. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He passed a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield.

All the corn turned into popcorn. When the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold. ...

6. Customer: "Why doesn't the wine you sell smell of alcohol?"

The waiter smelled it and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mix your wine."

7. There is a steamed stuffed bun. He was hungry and ate himself.

8. A match is walking on the road. It felt that its hair was itchy, so it scratched its hair and caught fire.

9. One day, Xiao Qiang came home crying and said, "Mom, mom, everyone at school says my head is a kite."

Then my mother said, "How come? Won't it? Come and run with me. "

10. Qian Feng: Do you know the name of the tiger?

OD: Tiger

Qian Feng: Wrong! !

Everybody: What?

Qian Feng: Dandan!

Everyone:

Qian Feng: Because the tiger is Dandan.

1 1 ... A madman got a pistol from somewhere. He walked in a black alley. Suddenly I met a young man. Without saying anything, the psycho pressed him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head! Question: What is 1+ 1=? The young man was frightened! After thinking for a long time, I replied with trepidation: equal to 2''? That psycho shot him without hesitation! Then I held the gun in my arms and said coldly, "You know too much."

12. There is a female math teacher from Sichuan. Her Mandarin is OK, but "kiss" and "question" are always confused. Once she finished a question for us and asked everyone, "Do you understand? If you don't understand, you can get up and kiss me. " The students were all surprised when they heard it. Everybody look at me, I look at you. Nobody got up. She added, "Why, I'm embarrassed to get up and kiss, aren't I?" Hearing this, the students were even more shocked. Nobody asked, but they said, "I'm too old to kiss." Well, I won't come to my office after class and' kiss' me when no one is around. "

13. An American, a Japanese and a China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Americans are the first to get the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass. "Mat, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people get down slowly and say slowly, "Come, give me a Japanese mat. "

14. Son: "Dad, are you free on Friday afternoon?"

Dad: "What is it?"

Son: "The school will open a micro-parent forum!" "

Dad: "What is a micro-parent forum?"

Son: "Just the head teacher, you and me!" " "

15. A child came to a toy store with a fake paper money and wanted to buy a toy plane. The buddy said, "Son, your money is not real." The child replied, "Is your plane real?"

16. According to the requirements of the new school, transfer students must fill in the "Transfer Self-evaluation Form". In the column "Have you ever been punished for cheating in the exam", fill in the word "No". The next column is "explain why", and Liang Liang continues to write: "Never missed it".

17. There are five people walking side by side in the street. A billboard fell from the sky, but only three people died. Why?