A joke about the confrontation between the three countries and the two armies

Welcome to CCTV-5 Sports Channel. It's 208[ not 2008, not to mention I don't know what year it happened in Battle of Red Cliffs], and it's a double kayak competition in Chibi main field of Beijing Olympic Games. "I am a commentator." "I am a commentator."

Zero zero hair [hereinafter referred to as Mao ]: 007, nice to meet you.

007: No, it's really good for everyone!

F: Today it's sunny, sunny and breezy. What a good day for a holiday!

007: Gee, get to the point ... However, today is really suitable for sea sports. Sunshine. The beach is really desirable. ......

F: 007, did you hear anything?

007: Is this a noise avalanche? ......

You see, it's the northern team headed by Cao Cao, and it's called "seeking defeat alone"!

007: Yes, those who wear corn clothes over there are all their fans. Their slogan is "Meng Meng, find more jobs!" Look, the Southwest Team led by Liu Bei, who is called "Dong Fangbubai", is coming.

Well, look at those people wearing environmentally friendly clothes. Their slogan is "Liu Liu Bei Bei, get twice the result with half the effort!" "

F: Huh? This is not good. It seems that the situation is not like "two women fighting for husbands", but more like "three people make a tiger". Isn't that the southeast team led by Sun Quan, who is known as the "West (Poisonous) Overlord" and claims to have the highest turn-back rate of kayaker Zhou Yu in history?

007: Listen, their dolphin jelly is shouting "Sun Sun Quan Quan, a shoo-in!"

The game officially started.

Method: The North Team sent Cao Cao and Pang Tong, who were old and weak. The southwest team sent Liu Bei and Kong Ming who were better than dinosaurs and frogs.

007: The southeast team here sent handsome and charming Sun Quan and Zhou Yu.

Fernando Alonso: I see Kong Ming can't wait. He made five supplements on No.21. He went to grab a high-quality kayak, chose a good channel, and was ready to set off. According to reliable shady news, Kong Ming secretly watched the weather forecast last night, and probably measured the sailing situation early!

007: Hey ~ ~ It's really hard to judge a book by its cover.

F: The North Team and the Southeast Team are also ready. Only heard a whistle, three kayaks climbed out like insects.

F: Huh? Strange and strange, I smiled. The northern team was far ahead, followed by the southeast team, but the southwest team was thrown eight feet away.

007: Southwest Team has fully inherited the traditional virtues of respecting the old and loving the young, which is really touching!

It seems that the North Team is a shoo-in. I saw Cao Cao fiddling with a white beard, showing white teeth, smiling and taking out a toothpaste, saying, "Good teeth, good appetite, good health and delicious food." Sun Quan also showed his charming smile, not to be outdone: "Celebrities, dedicated to lovers all over the world."

007: As we all know, Liu Bei and Kong Ming secretly crossed their old positions, thinking: Hum, if I give you some sunshine, you will be brilliant; Give you a little flood, and you will flood; Give you a kayak and you can go ashore? ~~~~~

007: Not good. A gust of east wind blew, and Cao Cao suddenly stopped laughing, but he couldn't stop his O-shaped mouth and two bell-like eyes. Before he could react, he was alone in the water and endured the wind. Although Zhou Yu is fine, the tide is gone.

At this time, Liu Bei had already brewed a good mood and sang loudly: "He can't take away my paradise, and after drying, he will leave rainbow tears ... ~! ~"

Suddenly. Fly to the sky and win the crown! ! !

The game is over.

I saw that Liu Bei had won the first prize "Goldie Chocolate" on the podium. He solemnly declared: "Thank you (Cantonese), thank you, thank you, thank you TVB, thank you MV, thank you pacle, thank you for all the" shells "that supported me, I love you" (tears with chewing gum, blowing kisses); Sun Quan got a silver road and talked with a bottle of Bao Zhou to comfort him.

007: Where is Cao Cao? Why didn't you see Cao Cao appear? ..... Wow, that's cool! I used to enjoy the waves in the sea-sunshine, beaches and cacti. ......

Fa, 007: It can really be said, "Where is a kayak in Mende? Chibi is cold and dense overseas. "

—————————————————————————

The relationship between Zhao Yun and Dou

When Zhao Yun was young, he was charming, well-proportioned and tall. A talented person calls Changshan a flower, and the young girls around him are inevitably moved even if they look at it from a distance. It is said that no girl can stop Xiao Zhao from smiling softly, and no military commander can stop Xiao Zhao from shooting softly. (A mixed version of Yijiangfeng and Yan Nantian)

Let's start with Liu Bei, a guy who used to sell sandals in a small business. At first glance, he is quite old-fashioned, and he made a fortune carelessly. Even if he made a fortune, he married two beautiful wives. Xiao Zhao was not satisfied, so he asked Liu Bei to see what he had done.

I didn't know that Liu Bei got his wife by any means, and his wife didn't know about the baby. She also talked about Sun Shangxiang all day, hoping to go to Soochow to bring Xiaoxiang back. Mrs. Gump has a fierce personality, but she's okay. Poor Mrs. Mi was bullied by Liu Bei because of her gentle nature. Zhaoyun sympathized with Mrs. Mi's experience, often comforted her, and gradually made out for a long time.

Liu Bei also knows something, but he doesn't care about Mrs. Mi, and it's a pity that Zhao Yun has lost all his talents, so he turns a blind eye and pretends that nothing happened. I didn't expect Mrs. Rice to be born next year, and Liu Beike will be furious. I think Xiao Zhao is cruel. I don't have to be a turtle and cuckold me! Believe it or not, I will order you!

In this emergency, thanks to Zhuge Liang's mediation, nothing happened for the time being. However, Liu Bei is not an easy mowing man. If he ate such a dumb loss for free, he wouldn't do it. That night, Liu Bei hid poison in Adou's milk paste in an attempt to get rid of this evil seed. Unexpectedly, Adou was predestined. He only ate half a bowl that night, but fortunately he didn't die. However, he unfortunately got polio and juvenile dementia, which not only made him seriously ill, but also made him mentally retarded and weak all his life.

When Mrs Mi learned that she was seriously ill, she suspected that Liu Bei had done it. However, because there was no evidence, she personally fed him and accompanied him every day, which made Liu Bei unable to start, but nothing happened.

When Liu Bei defeated Nagano, he was in a bad mood. Suddenly, he saw that Mrs. Mi was still clinging to Dou, and he was so angry that he suddenly killed him. So Liu Bei deliberately created signs of chaos in the March and sent his confidant to lead Mrs. Mi into the array with the intention of killing people with a knife. Mrs Mi didn't know it was a scam, but she was really trapped in Cao Ying.

I didn't know that Liu Bei had taken a wrong step. In order to win the advanced prize, Zhao Yun completed the task of escorting the rear troops ahead of schedule. I heard that Mrs. Mi and Dou were caught by the enemy, and went straight to Cao Cao without saying anything. Seeing that the situation was not good and the plan might go bankrupt, Liu Bei released news that he would rebel and go to Cao Cao. I didn't know anyone except the stupid Zhang Fei believed that he was an ungrateful person, so no one stopped General Zhao along the way.

Zhao Yun was eager to find his son and wife. He finally found Mrs. Mi by the ancient well. At this time, Mrs. Mi was badly hurt, but she always protected Adou from harm. Zhao Yunlai came, she could leave safely for her own flesh and blood and lover, and jumped into the ancient well with a smile. Since then, the fragrance has disappeared. Zhao Yun lost his lover, endured grief and broke through with his son. Although Cao Jun's soldiers flooded like a flood, he was also defeated by Zhao Yun, who chose him and watched him leave.

Liu Beiyuan saw Zhao Yun riding back, as if he had no one with him. His heart exulted, thinking that the deadly trap had succeeded, and he pretended to smile to meet Zhao Yun. But Zhao Yun actually took him back to Dou. Liu Bei thought that he would never stop, so he hugged Dou, and then used the seemingly aboveboard excuse of losing General Zhao to slam Dou on the ground.

Zhaoyun is a wise man. He guessed in his heart that this was likely to come, so he took precautions in advance. He saw the movement of Liu Bei's hand and landed a diving jump to catch the sinus accurately, which was no less than the penalty of the US team.

Liu Bei had no choice but to give up. Adou saved his life from now on, but his body was weak and his brain was stupid. At best, he is just a puppet. I can't help but sigh!