The funniest joke in history

The funniest jokes in history:

1. Before getting married, I was too embarrassed to go out without pretending to be a millionaire. After getting married, I feel very tough when I go out and pretend to be a hundred or two!

2. The three stupid things in life: one is to reason with the boss, the other is to reason with the mother, and the third is to reason with the wife.

3. A scumbag student fell in love early and was called to the office by his class teacher for a talk. After several hours of progressive enlightenment and persuasive education, the head teacher finally understood the reason why he could not find a girlfriend in his thirties.

4. The most classic sentence my mother said is: I am unlucky in my life to meet you two liars! Your dad cheated on you! You cheated money!

5. When I got up in the morning, I said to my mother: "Tomorrow I will also buy sunglasses, which can cover my ugliness!" My mother directly replied to me: "Sunglasses are not enough, buy a helmet." Almost."

6. A girl broke up with her boyfriend. The classmate next to her comforted her: "What's so good about that guy? He's a civil engineering engineer. You can tell he's both "civilian" and "wooden". ! When the male software engineering students next to me heard this, their hearts dropped.

7. There are a group of great candidates who take the college entrance examination. They know that their grades are very poor and they cannot get into college, but they still insist on taking the college entrance examination. , they only want to lower the score line so that you can get into a good school. This spirit of self-sacrifice and others is worth buying a bottle of AD calcium milk for you who get into the exam!

8. I ordered KFC takeout on a whim and told the customer service that I hope it will be delivered quickly, otherwise I will starve to death. However, the takeout was delivered within 15 minutes. After I paid, the tragedy happened in the customer message column on the receipt. Printed directly: Deliver it quickly, the customer will starve to death

9. When I was in the second grade of junior high school, the teacher asked me to write an essay on my deskmate, but there was a male classmate in the class. He wrote: “My deskmate’s hair is so black and shiny, it looks like it’s been overcooked by cows, and a fly would dodge his waist if it landed on it! ”

10. A teacher said: This sentence from the era of naked marriage: I have no car, no money, no house, no diamond ring, but I have a heart to accompany you until you grow old. The degree of unreliability is similar Yu: Although I didn’t read, didn’t go to class, didn’t review, and didn’t do any questions, I still had the heart to not fail the exam. The biggest misunderstanding about love is that it is omnipotent.