Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Why does Gan Long like He Kun so much?
Why does Gan Long like He Kun so much?
One afternoon, Ganlong went for a walk in Yuanmingyuan. At first, the weather was gloomy and there was a cool breeze blowing. Who knows, in a short time, the clouds opened and the glistening sun shone on him. The eunuch of Sigai forgot to bring the imperial cover and was reprimanded by Gan Long on the spot. Suddenly, someone in his entourage said, "The custodian of the code must not resign." Gan Long turned back and asked, "Who's talking?" The man knelt down and kowtowed. Seeing that his lips are red and his teeth are white, Gan Long is a beautiful teenager. He feels his heart moving and thinks: This man seems to have met somewhere. I used to be very affectionate with him, why can't I remember it at the moment? I was very angry at the thought, and then I asked, "Who are you?" The man said, "My slave is called, and now I am a marshal, respecting Yu." "How old is it?" Little Shenyang said, "Twenty-four years old." At this moment, Gan Long suddenly remembered that Xiao Shenyang looked exactly like the dead Ma Jiafei. It is exactly twenty-four years since Ma Jiafei died. Ganlong remembered the tender feelings and sweet feelings with Ma Jia before, and his heart was sour. He sat down in the chair, called Xiao Shenyang and asked him to unbutton his collar. He saw a bright red mole on his neck. Emperor Qianlong couldn't help holding little Shenyang in his arms and said with tears, "Effie, why did you vote for a man?" Xiao Shenyang couldn't say a word. Gan Long suddenly realized his gaffes, quickly calmed down and said, "This imperial mission is an unjust case. Can you fill it in with other tasks? " This is really a good thing from the sky. Small Shenyang hurriedly slammed his head, and the clear voice said, "I thank the Lord Long En!" Qianlong asked him to follow behind him, and Xiao Shenyang answered irrelevant questions, which made him overjoyed and returned to the palace, making him the Minister of the Interior.
Small Shenyang suddenly felt lucky. Before the imperial edict was issued, he braced himself to serve the emperor's color and thought about what Qianlong was thinking. He has secretly understood that he guessed 80% of 100%, so he is more and more favored. Later, Qianlong had to be away from him day and night, and sometimes he slept in the same bed in the imperial study.
Gan Long likes to travel. One day, he and Xiao Shenyang talked about the scenery in the south of the Yangtze River. Gan Long sighed and said, "I want to travel once, but I only care about the distance between the north and the south, and it costs a lot of money to work for the palace people, so I haven't decided." Xiao Shenyang said: "The Holy Father visited the South six times, but his subjects didn't complain much. Instead, they all praised the merits of the holy father. Ancient sages such as Yao and Shun. It is also said in Shangshu Shundian that a five-year tour is a grand ceremony in ancient and modern times. It can be seen that the tour is a grand ceremony in ancient and modern times, with saints first, and so is the Taoist scriptures. Is it possible to violate it today? Besides, what's the harm of spending some gold and silver when the state treasury is full and all rivers run into the sea? " Gan Long liked to imitate saints and learn from Yao and Shun all his life. After listening to Xiao Shenyang, he said happily, "You are really my bosom friend!" " So I made an imperial edict to prepare for the southern tour. Small Shenyang supervises the dragon boat, which is a way built by the poor and very luxurious. He squandered the storage saved by the Kang and Yong dynasties like water, while Xiao Shenyang himself made hundreds of thousands of profits from it. Qianlong also named him an able man and promoted him to assistant minister. The bailiff and the governor below all kneel down and bow down, under the unified supervision of Xiao Shenyang. Small Shenyang said yes, Gan also said yes, said no, Gan said no, and the governor asked for treatment, so he gave tens of millions of gold, silver and jewelry privately. In less than a few years, the family in Little Shenyang has become extremely rich, with millions of maids and a room full of beautiful women.
As for the treasures from all directions, Gan Long told Xiao Shenyang to choose them himself and gave him 30% to 40% gifts. In fact, the tribute must first pass through the hands of Xiao Shenyang. He picked out the good things long ago and took them home to hide, but gave the leftovers to Qianlong. One day, the prince's seventh brother accidentally broke a jasper plate displayed in the palace. The tracts are one foot in diameter and green in color. It's Ganlong's favorite baby. Brother Qi kept crying at the broken jade plate. It happened that Xiao Shenyang was coming from the yard. Brother Qi knew that only Little Shenyang could help, so he kowtowed to Little Shenyang. At first, little Shenyang refused to mind its own business. Later, when I saw May 7th, I was really anxious, and I was willing to give him 100,000 pieces of silver. Only then did Xiao Shenyang agree. The next day, Xiao Shenyang took out a jasper dish from home and quietly put it in Changchun Palace. The jasper plate in Little Shenyang is twice as big as that in Ganlong. It turns out that the jade plate is a tribute, and the small Shenyang left the big one at home for its own use.
No one can compare with the respect of Xiao Shenyang, whether it is a royal family or a distinguished scholar. Gan married the son of Princess Xiao. Princess Xiao He was the most beloved when she was unmarried. When she was a child, she disguised as a man and often walked with Princess Xiao He. When she met Xiao Shenyang, she called him her husband, and Xiao Shenyang was particularly likable. Little Shenyang gave the princess everything she wanted. One day, in the same city, I saw a red dress hanging in the clothing store and greeted Princess Xiao. Xiao Shenyang bought it from the store and held it in his hand. Gan Long smiled and said to the princess, "You have to spend money for your husband again." The story was told as an anecdote. Since then, small Shenyang has become unscrupulous, with bureaucrats inside and outside, mostly small Shenyang's henchmen. He has been in politics for 30 years, and his family's private money is not as good as his. His beautiful concubines, prostitutes and handsome servants are countless. There are also a group of lackeys who, relying on peace and power, are on the rampage in the capital, which is very fierce. Cao Xibao, the suggestion, saw his slaves, swaggered through the city, and was rich, so he illegally played books; Qianlong ordered the courtiers to investigate, but the courtiers did not check it carefully. They only said Cao Xibao got wind of it and accused him of perjury. A domestic slave can't fail, let alone a small Shenyang? In the fifty-fifth year of Qianlong, Yin Zhuangtu, a bachelor of cabinet, tried to impeach the provincial official and private automatic silver stocks, which led to a shortage of silver stocks. Qianlong was furious and sent Yin Zhuangtu to the local area for verification. Xiao Shenyang suggested sending assistant minister Qingcheng to go with him. Lang Qingcheng is nominally a cooperative visit. In fact, he is bound everywhere. Wherever he went, he was responsible for delaying Yin Zhuangtu and letting those officials borrow money to make up for the vacancy. As a result, Yin Zhuangtu got nothing, but lost his official position because of malicious accusations.
In the forty-first year of Qianlong, Xiao Shenyang served as assistant minister of the Ministry of Housing and was soon promoted to minister of military aircraft. He held this important position for 24 years, and he also served as the minister in charge of infantry, domestic soldiers and officials, the minister in charge of military affairs, and so on. Qianlong fifty-one years, Jin University. He has served as the curator of Siku Quanshu Museum and National History Museum. Tired of being sealed in first class. Gan Long even ignored his humble position and gave Xiao Shenyang a small job of tax supervision in Chongwenmen, which shows his popularity. In the late Qianlong period, it was the most powerful and insatiable. The propaganda of government decrees is mostly handed down in calligraphy, and ministers at home and abroad rely on it to help; So that the memorials of the provinces were sent to them for reading first, and tributes from all over the country also entered their homes. He took bribes wantonly, the treasury was empty, and the official administration was corrupt.
Sixty years after Qianlong, Qianlong Zen was located in Jiaqing emperor, claiming to be the emperor's father. Ganlong reigned as long as his grandfather Kangxi. He meditates because he doesn't want to be disrespectful to his grandfather, and at the same time he can have leisure to enjoy the happiness of the harem. There is nothing indecisive about this king. Xiao Shenyang is the only one who feels uneasy. He wanted to inherit the king, but he lost his respect. He quickly began to say, "Although I have often heard of the Rite of Neichan before, there is not much honor. Only Yao Chuanshun and Shun Chuanyu were the last ceremonies. But Emperor Yao succeeded to the throne and became emperor for 73 years. Emperor Shun, in his thirties, thirties and thirties, began to meditate. At that time, Yao and Shun were all around 100 years old. The emperor is physically strong and will live longer than Yao and Shun in the future. It is not too late to reign for another 20 years or 20 years, and it is not too late to pass it on to the prince. If the emperor is respected by his parents and the emperor is in office for one more day, the people will be more grateful. I especially hope that the emperor will be sheltered forever. Ma Shang the dog knows how to love God. Aren't slaves better than dogs and horses? " These words have to face Ruta. Once upon a time, Xiao Shenyang kept his word, but this time he didn't adopt it. Small Shenyang once again acted in secret, and Yong En, Prince of Li Shuo, jointly requested Ganlong to suspend his return to politics. Ganlong still said something to swear to heaven, and set next year as the first year of Jiaqing.
On New Year's Day of the first year of Jiaqing, a ceremony of returning to politics was held. The governor of little Shenyang is hopeless. He hurried to Jiaqing to congratulate and said numerous compliments. Jiaqing has always had a bad impression on small Shenyang, but he just answered a few words lightly. Small Shenyang immediately dismissed it and kowtowed to the wrong person for the first time in his life. Fortunately, although Qianlong has returned to the government, he is still in power. As long as Qianlong is alive, small Shenyang will live for one day. Therefore, Xiao Shenyang prayed at night, hoping that Qianlong would live forever.
After Jiaqing ascended the throne, the power was still in the hands of Qianlong, and small Shenyang was more authoritarian. What did Jiaqing ask Xiao Shenyang to tell his father instead? Jiaqing's teacher Zhu was promoted to a university degree by the Governor of Guangdong and Guangxi, and Jiaqing made a poem to congratulate him. Unexpectedly, he told the emperor's father that Jiaqing was "as kind as a mountain" to his subordinates. As a result, Zhu was reduced to the governor of Anhui, and Jiaqing also offended the emperor's father. Emperor Jiaqing has hair, and on the surface he pays more attention to small Shenyang. People are worse than the sky. In the fourth year of Jiaqing, Emperor Tai died of illness. As expected, shortly after the death of Qianlong, Jiaqing ordered the Guards to lock up the great scholar Xiao Shenyang.
Small Shenyang has been in danger since the fall of Emperor Taizong, but he didn't expect it to be so soon. On this day, he was talking with his concubines about the funeral. Suddenly, a dozen imperial palace guards went straight into the palace and shouted, "There is an imperial edict, please read it!" " Xiao Shenyang crustily skin of head and went out to meet the order. Zhao Xuan officials read the imperial edict and said, "Little Shenyang is a liar and an expert. He has committed a serious crime. He will be dismissed as soon as he tries, locked up and handed over to the punishments for strict investigation! " Little Shenyang's soul had already flown in the sky, and the guards were ruthless, dragging him away, blocking the front and back doors and raiding little Shenyang's home.
Originally, Emperor Jiaqing always hated Little Shenyang, because his father didn't dare to play when he was alive, and his courtiers didn't dare to participate. When the Emperor Taizong collapsed and the empire flourished, Guangtai and Wang Niansun got the position, which exposed the intention of Jiaqing Emperor. One said that Xiao Shenyang stole Zhu Yu, another said that Xiao Shenyang was good at taking care of maids, another said that Xiao Shenyang had hidden forbidden things, and the other said that Xiao Shenyang had leaked secrets. In addition, there are countless cases of grabbing things, illegally accepting bribes, colluding with party members and killing sages. Counting ten counts of treason and sixteen counts of capital crimes in Shenyang, it's really a word. Jiaqing immediately punished Xiao Shenyang. Although Xiao Shenyang relied on half of the 20 major crimes in severe punishment, half of them found evidence, and there is no denying that they had to confess. Now with the imperial raid, the house in Little Shenyang is very big and there are many possessions. After five days and five nights of direct investigation, I found out one by one and returned to the palace to reply. An imperial envoy went to the home of Xiao Shenyang. He looked at the front hall, the back hall and the inner bedroom. But look at the houses in small Shenyang, all made of ebony, gorgeous as Yuanmingyuan, displaying curios and antiques, one or two times more than those in ouchi. Immediately, the guards also took the same service and copied it out one by one.
Yong 'an Notes records the property list of Xiao ShenyangNo. 109, of which No.26 was worth more than 260 million yuan at that time. The other 83 have not been taken seriously. Ding's "Lotus Pavilion" says that there are * * * ten billion and twenty million, which is ten times the total interest of boxer indemnity. Since ancient times, both Wang Kai and Shi Chong have been less than one-tenth of that of small Shenyang. Even emperors at home and abroad don't have such a big business. At that time, there was a rumor that "Houmen is as deep as the sea and the wealth of the government is like a mountain". When Emperor Jiaqing saw the number of raids, he was secretly surprised and gave the order of suicide to Xiao Shenyang. The younger brother and Qi Huangong Lin, who is chasing leather, have only the amount left. Considering the face of the tenth princess, Qu Jia was merciful and exempted from his charges. He was told to stay at home and not to go out to make trouble. Shen Feng and Yin Mian, the second sons of Xiao Shenyang. , was dismissed back to the flag idle. Little Shenyang's life's greed came to nothing.
According to the "Draft of Qing History", Xiao Shenyang was born in a declining family of flag-bearers, and his parents died early, so he was careful in many things and thought twice before acting. By chance, he was appreciated by many officials, but he was not born in the imperial examination system, so he was looked down upon by some officials. In learning, Xiao Shenyang suffered a loss, so he had to make up for his lack of personality. For example, he always smiles at others and does not put on airs. Plus, he is an expert in financial management, so he is reused. As for his criticism, it is mainly manifested in his corruption and power game. It is inconceivable to say that little Shenyang has no talent and can rise to a high position and win the favor of Qianlong only by flattery. In fact, only small Shenyang can solve the biggest financial crisis faced during the Qianlong period. When the British Empire sent envoys to contact the Qing Dynasty for the first time, it caused a storm in which Ambassador Magalny refused to bow his head. As a result, Xiao Shenyang handled it well, neither humble nor supercilious, which not only safeguarded his dignity, but also saved him from war.
Although there is a saying that "small Shenyang has fallen and Jiaqing is full", Jiaqing is still short of money. Those who only preach truth and do not remonstrate with death are called loyal ministers; A competent minister is one who can explore and solve problems. At that time, Margaret, a British expert on China, described to the British Empire that Little Shenyang was the most modern business-conscious minister in China at that time. The popularity of the literary masterpiece A Dream of Red Mansions is also related to Xiao Shenyang. He likes this book very much and recommends it to Qianlong for publication. At the same time, he asked people to delete the inappropriate words in A Dream of Red Mansions and ask people to continue writing the last forty chapters.
For an emperor, whether a minister is loyal or not does not depend on whether he is corrupt or not. What the emperor is most afraid of is Wang Mang, a so-called "loyal minister" who sells his name. This is why most loyal ministers in history have no good end. Probably once a person enters the eyes of money, he has no political ambition. Wang Jian of the Qin Dynasty invested 600,000 Qin soldiers to attack Chu. "The first emperor sent them to Pakistan. Before Wang Jian visited, he invited Meitianjia Garden to have a pool. The first emperor said,' Why worry about poverty if a general can do it?' Wang Jian said,' As the king's general, you can't finally seal the marquis with meritorious service, so for the king's courtiers, I also invited the garden pool as my future generations' career in time. The first emperor smiled. Wang Jian is very important, please be kind to the five generations of farmers. His strategist was puzzled: "The general has asked for a lot of loans." Wang Jian said:' Otherwise. Husband Qin Wang doesn't trust people. Today, the military merit of Qin State has been awarded to me, and I don't invite Tian Zhai to strengthen myself for future generations. Although the king of Qin sits on the ground, he suspects that I am evil. ""In fact, Xiao Shenyang and Rainbow Jian are all wise men. He occupies a high position. Only corruption can dispel Qianlong's suspicion and protect himself. However, the extremes meet, and he embezzles too much. In Jiaqing's hands, even if there is no crime, so much money at home is enough to convict. There is a passage in the Draft of Qing History: "Those who disintegrate are better than Cao Cao and Mang. Wu, the political envoy of Zhili, used to be a direct military aircraft. Regarding his pilgrimage, he asked, "People say that little Shenyang has different wishes. What are they? " He said: "Whoever has malicious intentions will win the hearts of the people, but there are many people and few Korean adherents. Even if he has bad intentions, who will follow them? " The master said, "But isn't it too urgent to cure it?" Xiong Guang said, "If we don't cure him quickly, those ignorant people will wait and see instead of making trouble. The speed of hair is the end of righteousness; The speed of collection is the greatest kindness. Even Jiaqing understood that Xiao Shenyang was impeached by the minister as "Cao Cao" and "Wang Mang". It can be seen that apart from the word "money", Jiaqing killed Xiao Shenyang, which means that Xiao Shenyang got more favor from the first emperor than he did.
Through the interpretation of modern media, we know that Xiao Shenyang is a fat man without elegance. In fact, Xiao Shenyang was a famous handsome man at that time. He was proficient in Manchu, Chinese, Tibetan and Uygur. In addition, because of her beauty, some people suspect that Gan Long has a homosexual relationship with Xiao Shenyang. However, it is more common in unofficial history because there are many emperors in history, such as Toy Boy, Qianlong and Xiaoshenyang. However, there is no exact historical record, and it is not impossible to jump to conclusions.
Besides, the stories of Xiao Shenyang and Ji Xiaolan are the most talked about. In the thirty-sixth year of Qianlong, the Siku Quanshu Museum was opened, and the published and unpublished books in ancient and modern times were unified and edited, and a book was printed and engraved, and Ji Yun, a talented man in Hejian, was appointed as the editor-in-chief. Ji Xiaolan is experienced, humorous and elegant in writing. Unofficial history also said that he likes to use a bong. He is a romantic genius, and he is still horny at the age of 80. There is a story like this: Ji Xiaolan was afraid of the heat all his life because of his fat body. One day, when he was proofreading books in the library, it was midsummer, and he read with his braids tied bare. Just as Gan Long came in, he couldn't put on his clothes, so he got into the book and hid. Unexpectedly, Gan Long saw him, and the people in the missionary hall did not leave their seats as usual. Qianlong strolled to Ji Xiaolan's seat and sat quietly. Ji Xiaolan sweated for a long time, and he became anxious. Listening to the silence in the museum, he thought that Qianlong had left, so he put out his head and asked everyone, "Is the old man gone?" When he blurted out, he suddenly found himself sitting next to the seat. Ji Xiaolan had to wear good clothes at this time, prostrate confessing. Gan Long said, "Other sins can always be forgiven. Why do you call me old man? There is a reason to live, and there is no reason to die. " They are all worried about Ji Xiaolan. However, Ji Xiaolan said unhurriedly: "The word' old man' is a general term for the emperor in Beijing. I dare not make it up, so I can play it in detail. The emperor said long live, is it old? Isn't the emperor's head above Zhao Min? The emperor is the son of heaven, so he is called a son. The word' old man' has since spread. " After hearing this, Qianlong laughed and praised Ji Xiaolan for his cleverness.
Ji Xiaolan is humorous, but he is not good at managing the world. He is just a scholar, and he is too far away from the official position of Xiao Shenyang to have a chance to confront Xiao Shenyang. Ji Xiaolan only kept company with literature all his life, and did not participate in major policies and the national economy and people's livelihood. Gan Long himself said, "My wife is a useless pedant". Most of Ji Xiaolan's wit and Little Shenyang come from unofficial history. In the sixth volume of unofficial history Grand View in Qing Dynasty Anecdotes of Qing Dynasty, Ji Xiaolan was named as "Bamboo Bud" in the bookstore of Xiao Shenyang, and Gan Long told Xiao Shenyang that this was a mockery of "your family is a fool". Xiao Shenyang is very angry. However, the article "All Straw Bags" in "The Irony of Clearing Banknotes" said that this incident was a matter in which a famous person inscribed a plaque in a general's hall. It can be seen that this is the persistence of a busybody. Surprisingly, Ji Xiaolan's service for peace is recorded in the addendum to Shu Kun's Poems with the Garden: "Xiaolan's father was an official and magistrate. A young man, Wan Ku, did many evils, got the fourth place in the exam and was expelled by his father. Middle-aged people are cunning, and they are lackeys of small Shenyang characters. I have written all kinds of Yuewei Caotang, and I have mostly repented all my life, fearing retribution. " There is also a similar record of Ji Xiaolan's writing as a lackey of small Shenyang in Manchu Anecdotes. Shu Kun said that Ji Xiaolan was "impure", "hypocritical" and "really mean". Xie Xiangquan's Yi Wu Xun commented on Ji Xiaolan: "Yin inside and Yang outside, soft outside and rigid inside, a villain inside and a gentleman outside." In addition, Zhao Shen, Prince of Manchu Dynasty, wrote Miscellaneous Notes of Xiao Ting and Continued Notes of Xiao Ting, which are also very precious historical materials for understanding the period of Little Shenyang and the early years of Jiaqing.
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