Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - If you don't know the benefits of certification, please don't answer.

If you don't know the benefits of certification, please don't answer.

1. News of the day: Today, a nun was walking in the park and was unfortunately raped by gangsters. News the next day: Today, hundreds of nuns are walking in the park.

2. The family sits at the dining table and eats. The son suddenly asked his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts do women have?" The father was surprised and replied, "Well, son, women have three different breasts. At the age of twenty, their breasts are like watermelons, round and hard; When I was in my thirties and forties, my breasts felt like pears, but they were a little droopy. After fifty, it's like an onion. " "Onions?" The son asked incredulously. "Yes, you will cry when you look at them."

3. My wife asked me, "What do you men always say about women's and men's shows?" I said, "A male show is a dignified appearance and a fiery heart!" The wife asked again, "Do you think I count?" I pretended to look at her seriously, and then shook my head: "You don't count!" " The wife nodded: "I think so, too." I should belong to Ming Sao. "I snickered to myself:" accurate but not comprehensive! The wife wants to know, "What is that?" I proudly replied: "You belong to Quan Sao!"

A couple called their life "washing clothes". One day, the husband and wife had an argument over trivial matters, and he wanted to end the embarrassing atmosphere. He asked his son to ask his mother that his father wanted to "wash clothes" and his wife was still angry. He replied immediately and told his father that the "washing machine" was broken. The next night, the wife asked her son to tell his father that the "washing machine" had been repaired. The father said angrily, tell her that it is not necessary.

One day, Mary, a 4-year-old girl, said happily to her mother, "Mom, Mom, I know!" " ""Know what? " "Why is dad so big when he has a belly?" "oh? Why? " "Because today I saw the maid Julie desperately blowing a pipe under dad's stomach! " "……"

6. A group of nuns live in a monastery on a high mountain. Usually, they have to go down the mountain by bike every day to buy materials for people's livelihood ... Suddenly, one day ... the old nun couldn't stand it ... and called everyone to give a lecture and said, "If you yell when riding down the mountain ... I'll put the bicycle cushion back!"

7. Junior one students are having a physical health class. When they saw the male sex organs, a girl from a single-parent family smiled: "I know, this is a milk straw." When they saw the photos of female sex organs, a boy from a single-parent family covered his mouth and said loudly, "I didn't make a mistake today."

8. Beijing-Kowloon Railway is open to traffic, and farmers watch it along the road. A female guest in the car came to have her period, and after changing the paper, she went out the window. Paper stuck to a farmer's face, and the farmer took it down and said, honey, it's fast! You can smash your nose with a piece of paper!

9. A widow went to buy cucumbers and told her not to slice them, but the cucumber seller forgot to slice them. When the widow saw it, she scolded, "Do you think I am a piggy bank?"