Want a longer, funnier, little-known joke.

1. A father told his son a story: A long time ago, there was a frog …

Son: Are there any science fiction stories?

Father: A long time ago, there was a frog in space …

Son: Do you have any restricted classes?

Father: shh ~ keep your voice down so that mom can't hear you. Once upon a time, there was a frog with no clothes on …

2. Woman: "Why do you always chew candy when you talk to me?" Man: "If you don't chew sugar, how can you get so many sweet words?" .

One day, Socrates asked his student Plato, "What is eternity?"

Plato pointed to the sun in the sky and said, "The ancients and we all saw the same sun."

Socrates shook his head and said, "The sun sometimes sets."

Socrates asked Liz again, "What do you think?"

Xiao Lisi replied with a smile: "There is no eternal existence, only eternal meaning. Although the sun will disappear, people's pursuit of light will never change. "

4. Once married, the bride farted and the scene became awkward. One person said, "The bride farted, which is very lucky." After a while, I farted two times and the scene became awkward. The man said, "The bride released two, and one was the first two." After a while, she farted and the scene became awkward. Only the man said, "run, the bride wants to pull!" " "

My colleague and sister learned to surf the Internet in primary school and are very willing to chat. One day, just entering a chat room, a netizen asked, "Are you a man or a woman?" I can't type yet, and neither can the "female". So she thought for a moment and replied, "I am a young lady." The netizen made a sentence: "Thank you for your frankness."

6. Now I know that Li Bai, a house slave, bought an uncompleted residential building, which is evidenced by a poem: the foot of my bed shines brightly-there is no window; Is there frost already? -The door is not installed; Looking up, I found it was moonlight-the roof was open; I sank again and suddenly remembered home. -It hurts.

7. Mom: I have been married for three years. What do you think of her?

Son: the first year: I said, she listened. The second year: she said, I listened. The third year: we talk and the neighbors listen.

8. I am a fat man. My girlfriend and I have different personalities, but she broke up with me for only one reason. Today, she said, I haven't seen you for a long time!

9. On the company bus that morning, a beautiful colleague sitting next to her fell asleep and even snored, which attracted the attention of the whole bus. I was ashamed of this, so I gave her a gentle push with my hand and saw her muttering: Don't want my husband, tomorrow. ...

10. A man and a woman are eating.

Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me or not?

The boy finally said: love

The girl asked again, then how do you prove it?

Suddenly, the boy took out 30 yuan money from his pocket.

And ask the girl: Do you have ten dollars?

The girl gave the boy ten yuan. ......

The boys put forty yuan on the table.

soon .....

The girl was very angry and asked the boy, Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have been proved!

1 1. One day! The hunter shot the rabbit, and suddenly a black bear jumped out! The hunter was caught before he could shoot. Half an hour later, the black bear still pounced on the hunter, and the hunter didn't understand, "What's going on?" ! Suddenly he saw a piece of cloth around the neck of the black bear, which read: hug the bear.

12. A dog and a cat are wandering in the desert. They were all hungry and moved forward feebly. Suddenly, they found a lunch box on the ground in front of them. They can't wait to open it. A fairy came out and said that she could help each of them realize a wish. The cat said eagerly, I want fish, I want to eat fish ... A big and delicious fish appeared in front of them. The fairy then asked the dog what he wanted. The dog frowned and said, I prefer to eat bones. Help me turn fish into fish bones. After a loud cry, the cat looked straight at the dog eating fish bones …

After a long walk, they found a lunch box with a fairy in it. He can also help them realize their wishes. The cat thought of the situation just now and let the dog say his wish first. The dog thought about it. I just had enough and wanted to exercise, so you became a frisbee. I chased you and bit you back ... Hoo, the fairy turned into a frisbee and flew away. The dog looked at it and said helplessly to the cat: ...

13. A doctor said to his daughter, "Did you tell your boyfriend that I called him a loser?"

"I told him that he was not angry at all. He said that it is not the first time that you have been misdiagnosed. "

14. The child didn't study well and was scolded by his mother. After being scolded, the son looked at his father with sad eyes and said, why did you marry her? Dad also said with sad eyes: it's not because of you!

15. A person wants to jump off a building. His wife, who just came back, shouted, "honey, don't be impulsive." We still have a long way to go! " Hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing by said, "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this."

16. I had a dream this morning, in which some friends and I were hijacked. When everyone was thinking about how to get out, the alarm clock rang. I got up to get dressed. It suddenly occurred to me that if I slip away, will the rest of my buddies be killed? Brothers are like brothers. I can't leave my brothers, so I lie down and sleep ~

17. The weather was fine this afternoon, and I was in a trance after reading the book ... At this time, a patient came in to see a doctor, and I looked puzzled and saw that the cause was "Martian bitch"! I feel very strange: what disease is this? Later, when I woke up from the cold war, I saw that it was "sparks flying"! Dizzy ~ ~

18. I once stood downstairs in the girls' dormitory waiting for my classmates. Two boys, one fat and one thin, were waiting for someone nearby. Suddenly, the thin man felt a drop of water on his face and got a fright. Someone spit on it, and then it rained.

He said: "This surprised me. I thought someone was spitting upstairs. ! "

His chubby companion asked, "What would you do if MM really threw up?"

"That depends on what it looks like." "What if it's a dinosaur?"

"Then I'll go upstairs and tell that girl that you can stand downstairs and spit in the air."

"What if it's a beauty?"

"Then I rushed up to the girl and said,' You threw up' …" He pointed to his face. "Lick it clean for me.

One day, two brothers were sleeping.

Brother said to brother: Brother, there are many mosquitoes today ~

Brother said: Turn off the light so that mosquitoes can't see us.

Then my brother really turned off the lights.

Suddenly a pair of fireflies flew in.

The younger brother said nervously, brother, it's terrible. Mosquitoes came to us with lanterns. ...

That was four years ago, when I was still in college.

Xiaoli is a beautiful and naive girl. She is my girlfriend. The students all say that we are made for each other.

Our relationship has developed rapidly. Naturally, one summer vacation, I took her home. I didn't go back to my home, but went to my uncle's house, because my uncle is a millionaire and I want to show her off. My uncle is very enthusiastic and Xiaoli has a good time.

Today, Xiaoli and I met again in the coffee shop.

She asked, "How are you now? Still a person? "

"Yes!"

"You should find a girlfriend, don't dwell on the past. My husband and I are very concerned about you. "

"Aunt, thank you and uncle for your concern. I will have a girlfriend! " I answered angrily.

2 1. You are really annoying.

Woman: Really? How could I make you angry

M: Because in my heart, you are really likable, and I can't get tired of you!

22. Our family is sunbathing on the beach. A beautiful girl walked by. 14-year-old son watched her go away intently. My wife nudged me and whispered, "Your son has grown up." A few minutes later, a young woman walked in front of us in a bathing suit. I can't help looking at her good figure with envy. At this time, my wife touched me with her elbow again and whispered reproachfully, "Oh, don't be so childish."

23. A beautiful 25-year-old girl married a 60-year-old man. On the wedding night, the old man stretched out three fingers to the girl, and the girl said, "Wow, you have to do it three times tonight?" The old man said, "Which finger did you choose?"

24. Two friends get together in a bar. One of them asked the other, my wife doesn't know me. What about your wife? The other party replied, I don't know. She never mentioned you.

25. There is a true story that I have to tell: I once had a female classmate who went to the toilet upstairs in an unfamiliar campus because of a temporary emergency.

She is still a little nearsighted. I walked in when I saw a door. Inside, a man squatted down to face the door and took off his pants. After entering, she quickly stood up and lifted her pants. The girl hurried out.

I walked three or five steps and saw another door. I thought this was the ladies' room. Go in and have a look, it is another door of the toilet just now. The man squatted down again. Seeing the girl go in, the man was surprised, angry and afraid. He stood up and shouted, "Who are you?" What are you doing? "

The girl ran back to the dormitory in one breath, hardly angry again. ...