Tell me some jokes ~ funny

Two travelers met a tiger in the mountains. One of them quickly took off his shoes and put on his sneakers. "Do you think you can outrun the tiger like this?" Asked the other. "No, I just want to run faster than you!" Two new policemen found three grenades during their patrol and decided to take them to the police station. On the way, a younger policeman anxiously asked, "What if the Grenade explodes?" "Never mind," another replied. "We just said we only found two." The reporter asked the director of the crazy hospital how to conduct the discharge test. The dean said, "We filled the bathtub with water, put a spoon and a spoon next to it, and asked to empty the bathtub." The reporter smiled and said: "Normal people can use spoons!" "no!" The dean said, "Normal people will unplug the bathtub!" Reporter ... I ate in the school cafeteria and made a dish to copy cucumbers. I found that the cucumber was stale and a little yellow, so I said, "Master, why is the cucumber yellow?" The master said loudly, "classmate, is the cucumber still green?" ! ! My silent teacher said, "The pig is a very useful animal." . Its meat can be eaten, its skin can be made into leather, and its hair can be made into brushes. Can some students tell me its other functions? "A student replied," its name can also be called a person's name! "A young man was robbed and bravely resisted. The result was subdued by gangsters. When he searched his pockets, it was only two dollars and seventy cents. " Isn't this money hard? ""If I had known this, I would have offered it with both hands. I thought you were going to rob me of 3000 yuan in my shoes! "The teacher asked the students to illustrate what a coincidence is, and said together," My father and my mother just got married on the same day. This is a coincidence! "teacher ... the police officer said sternly to the thief," shall I send you to my father for strict discipline or send you to prison? Choose for yourself! " Teenager: "that's different!" " "Officer:" Why? " Teenager: "My father is serving his sentence in prison!" " "I went to buy draft beer one night, and the clerk said," You are so lucky. The beer has just arrived, and it hasn't been watered yet! " "Teacher:" What did you write? " Student: "Why didn't you ask earlier? Now I forget what this word is! " "A counterfeit money, accidentally made a 15 yuan. He came to the mountain village and spent his time here. He saw a candied haws seller and bought a 1 yuan one. When the farmer gave him change, he almost fainted: the farmer gave him two 7 yuan's. Line A is half of line B, so what is line B? Line B is the two halves of line A. In junior high school, a math teacher talked about equation transformation. On the platform, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ..... In the past, the teacher handed out papers, and the girl at the back took an extra one, shouting "Teacher, I have it, I have it". As a result, the boy sitting next to him said, "It's mine, it's mine. "When I was in junior high school, the teacher asked the translator who this person was? A classmate translated: Whose man is this? The whole class laughed and the teacher was speechless.