Homophonic handwritten newspaper

Homophonic joke: once there was a meeting in the village, because of the homonym, the village head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't paste melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls. ) Guangxi.

Some people in Guangxi speak Mandarin with inaccurate pronunciation and often with obvious local accent! Common reading: empty becomes public, mouth becomes dog, wind becomes crazy, which leads to the following

joke

When friends are far away, they usually eat a plate of snails for dinner. The host picked up one and said, man! He abandoned it, picked up the other one and said, it's a male again! The mouth is not short.

Goo: It's a man again! My friend was surprised and thought: awesome! Guangxi people are too powerful! Even the male and female snails can see it!

I also invited my friends to dinner. People in Guangxi have a little cold and find themselves sitting under the air outlet of the air conditioner. They said, I have a cold and can't sit next to a mad dog. Change seats after that, my friend.

No, what do you mean? I am a mad dog?

Hunan

A township head with a strong Hunan accent came to the village to make a report:

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ......

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. ...

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and say, "How much is your sleep?" ?

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

.....

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

Xiaoming, who likes learning English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he accidentally walked into a foreigner, and he said shyly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." The foreigner replied.

"I'm sorry for three." Xiao Ming answered at once.

"What are you sorry for? "Asked the foreigner.

"Sorry five ..." Xiao Ming said.

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful service lady came to ask, my friend always missed any opportunity to practice Chinese and rushed to say, "How much is a sleep?"

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"That's the yellow one!"

When a leader of Chaoshan area warmly received guests from other provinces on the boat, he said seriously, "It's a big wave today, so take some birth control pills."

Dizzy "), lest everyone be dizzy. "Everyone blushed. Then, the leader warmly greeted everyone: "Come, come. Please come to the bedside (bow) and sit on the bedside (bow) to see your wife.

(Suburb), the more you look, the better you look!

Yunnan Province

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous and decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks.