Seven funny English dramas, about ten minutes. Urgent! Kneel down! !

English Drama Script: Funny English Drama: Introduction of San Xiao III (Lacquerware Performance): Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the actors. The first one is Zhao Yun, who is the protagonist tonight. And his black brother Zhang Fei, and his boss Liu Bei. Don't forget Mr. Cao on the other side, his adviser Jiang Gan, and the strongest Xia Houdun. Finally, don't forget that I am the director behind the scenes. Act I: Wu, Cao Cao and Jiang Gan's narrator: Just now, Cao saved Liu Beihe, and now he is going to kill Zhang Fei (played by Zhao Yunchang) not long ago. A black general saved Liu Bei's son Liu Adou. Now, here he comes. His name is Zhang Fei. Zhao Yun: No, its real name is Zhao Mingyun, but it's the Mountain Dragon! My surname is Zhao, middle name is Yun, and my name is Zilong ~ (Zhao Yun is dragging a mop on his back, representing a bucket) Zhao Yun: Look, Master, I saved my face in the fire, but I have ... alas ... turned into a coke (self-pity)! This is the last drop of blood of the boss! Liu. I saved him from the fire, but I'm fucking ready ... (Xia Houdun killed me with a gun in the shape of a cat's waist) Xia Houdun: The thief doesn't want me to kill (rush) the child. Stop or I will kill you (Zhao Yun holds the bucket with his left hand and hits with his right hand). Zhao Yun: How dare the evil house sneak up on me! ! You bitch dare to attack me? Zhao Yun: Look at me. Stop! ! Wait! ! ! One, two, three ... nine dark white bone fingers! ! Xia Houdun: Oh, my gad is finished. Zhao Yun: I'm going to stay for a long time and find my master. Yeah, I'm going to find my boss. Goodbye ~ (Cao Cao, Jiang Gan II) Cao Cao: I killed the enemy. I didn't think I was a soldier. It really means that the teacher died before me and made the hero cry. This reminds me of a poem. "Even died before the ship sank. Dragon hero was in tears. "Premier Jiang Gan, did you really see Prime Minister Geely? What you said is not nice; (Cao Cao almost tripped over Xia Houdun) Cao Cao: Hey, who threw the watermelon skin (turned around and saw Xia Houdun fall) Hey? Who threw the banana peel? Cao Cao: Does Xiahou Qing want Xia Houdun for art? Is he engaged in the so-called performance art? (Jiang Gan stands in front of Xia Houdun) Cao Cao: Why does Xia Houdun have to install watermelon skin and banana skin on the ground? Xia Houdun: There was a very dark man with a black-faced baby. Jiang Gan: It's my maid who takes care of the baby and holds it. Cao Cao: What did you do? Xia Houdun: 22 ... I rushed to him and fought with him. I was fighting with me ... I rushed to fight and hit Cao Cao: Then what? Jiang Gan: The Prime Minister watched Xiahou Jun's defeat of the enemy Prime Minister, as if the general Xiao Hou had been protecting the enemy Xia Houdun: Mm-hmm (gesture: pointing to the right hand outside the door and then shivering all over, pointing to clothes and then pointing to Cao Cao's operating claws) What happened to Cao Cao? Xia Houdun: No, no, I was protected. He used nine clouds and white bones, which was terrible (Cao Cao, the second Xia Houdun in Jiang Gan pulled up). Cao Cao: Seeing that the enemy should not have gone far, we should pursue it with victory (generous). It seems that the enemy should not go far. Let's go after them. Jiang Gan: I really admire your optimism ... (agrees) Sometimes I really admit it. Premier knows your optimization psychology very well ... Xia Houdun: Mm-hmm ~ (waving fists at the enemy) (3) Act II: Target: Liu Bei, Zhang Fei, Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun (Liu Bei, Zhang Fei, Zhuge Liang) Narrator: Liu Beixing is observing the enemy outside the military camp ~ ~ ~ Liu Bei and his party are looking for something outside his military camp. (Zhuge Liang goes ahead, followed by Zhang Fei and Liu Beier) Zhuge Liang: (Turning around) Master, it is reasonable to say that you should go first (respectfully). Liu, you should go ahead of us! Isn't it? Liu Bei: Strategist, you avoid summer mistakes in the shade. No, it's cool for me to stand behind you, so I can escape the heat. Zhuge Liang: (Looking out) My Lord, I think it's raining in the wrong place. Liu, come here! Let me tell you a secret! I think it is going to rain! Liu Bei: How did you know it was going to rain first? No one can compare with you in the great forecast, just wondering how you knew it would rain. Zhuge Liang: First of all, the weather forecast says it will rain today; It looked at the dark clouds first, and the weather forecast told us that it would rain today. Second, look at the sky, many dark clouds are coming! (Zhao Yun) Zhang Fei: Wow, I want to see dragons and get a new desktop. Ha! That dragon guy, I can't believe you got a new desktop in one minute! (Zhang Feiying) Zhang Fei: Long Yun: Yide help me! ! ! Third brother. (Zhang Fei) Zhao Yun: Master Yun swore to protect the Lord to the death. I have been crying for a long time ... (I picked up a cloth bag and held it angrily) Boss, I have tried my best to protect the little boss. But I didn't hear anything for a long time. Probably ... Zhao Yun: Gao can sleep with his father ~ Shit, how can that be? Son of a bitch is asleep. Just like his father Liu Bei: Ahem (Zhao Yun turns to face Liu Bei) Zhuge Liang: Dragon, I said I have a small mouth, and I can always tell things outside. Zilong, I didn't tell you, although it's true, you shouldn't say it! (Liu Bei glared at Zhuge Liang, knowing that Zhao Yun handed Dou to Liu Bei and Liu Bei held Dou) Liu Bei: The unlucky child almost hurt my employee. I saved it. I fell to my death. Because you almost lost a brave general, why did I let you live and let me kill you? (Before Zhao Yun, I was kicked by Dou. Zhuge Liang grabbed Zhao Yun a few feet ago and always wanted to kick Zhuge Liang. He used his body to press Zhao Yun's front foot to walk. Dou kicked) Narrator: Dou is obviously mentally retarded today ... that's why Liu Adou was so stupid that he lost his country. Zhao Yun: Hey, look at Brother Guan. Hey ~ ~ where is second brother Guangzhou? Liu Bei: Yesterday, my second brother set up a Eight Diagrams Array, bumped into a horse and waited for his waist to rest. Yesterday, he set up a Eight Diagrams Array for his military adviser, but when he rushed out, he twisted his waist and now he is bedridden. Zhuge Liang: Oh, it's a pity to see me healthy. Tell me to drink Sanlu milk powder (narcissism). Oh, it tastes terrible! Look at me, so healthy and so strong! Tell him to drink more Sanlu milk powder! Zhao Yun: Give it to the child (touching Zhuge Liang pitifully before leaving) so that you can drink and be a fool? Cao Cao (Taiwan Province): Ah ~ (Tragedy) Liu Bei: Is Third Brother going back to his old job? Let's take a quick look at whether Zhang Fei has returned to his previous career to see what happened. (3) Act III: Things Zhang Xiahou Jiang Bei Zhuge Liang Narrator: Three minutes ago, Zhang Fei hit the slope halfway ... Back to three minutes ago, time was set aside for Zhang Fei and Cao Cao's army to fight on the slope of Changbang (Zhang Fei turned to Taiwan Province). The circle of Beijing Opera is cylindrical. ) Cao Jiang Cao Gan: Hey, hey, hey (smirk) Xia Houdun: Uh-huh, uh-huh ... (smirk) (smirk three times) Write the script perfectly. Jiao Kedu China Zhang Fei: Wow, the ham sausage pulls wow! You, hot dog, come back! Xiahou Dun: I'm afraid black people will do it again. Black people are very powerful. I'm afraid of Cao Cao: Why does the pavilion have such a nice voice? Excuse me. May I know your name? What a beautiful voice you have! Zhang Fei: I will swallow (yān) Zhang Yide (gritting my teeth). I'm Zhang Yide from Du Jing! (gnashing her teeth) Cao Cao: Eunuch Yan Yuan ... Xia Houdun solved you, so you are a coward, aren't you? Xiahou, hit it! (Xia Houdun) Xia Houdun: Uh-huh ~ Uh-huh (two strikes) (freeze) Jiang Gan: Prime Minister, we will lose the bridge and the water will flow backwards. Call Xiahou Junene, Prime Minister. We will definitely lose this battle, and the bridge will soon be out of water! Call General Xiao Hou down quickly. Cao: Do you know how you know? Jiang Gan: The task of "True Three Double Three" is "True, it is the game duty of the Three Kingdoms' non-parallel three"! ! Cao Cao: Fuck, I think it's a waste of time to indulge in online games in China. Listen to this sentence from the Prime Minister. Stay away from the three levels. I think you are too addicted to online games. It's a waste of time, and it's harmonious. Listen to me, you must take care of yourself. (Zhang Fei and Xia Houdun continue to be shot and killed by Zhang Fei in Xia Houdun) Xia Houdun: Oh, my gad, I am finished and defeated (dragged by Jiang Gan's former Xia Houdun) Cao Cao: Alas, the eunuchs in this world are all very powerful. Why did that coward become so brave? Zhang Fei: Listen, cao thief, now you can bridge Cao, stop it! You can't cross this bridge alive today! Cao Cao: You are crazy. You want my hand Dian Wei dead. Xu Zhu has diarrhea. Li Dian has measles, Wen Pin has liver cancer and Zhang Liao has hemorrhoids. You lost. Shut up! If General Dian Wei were still alive, we would not be defeated! Zhang Fei: After all, my hands are used. I really want to write a poem-the nobles may go out for you. Faced with this scene, I really want to sing a song. Er, up ... at ... (music begins) only you ~ ~ only you ... (Xia Houdun leaps) Xia Houdun: Hmm ... (running with his hands over his ears) Cao Cao: Ah (covering his ears miserably) Jiang Gan: Ah (covering his ears miserably) Cao Cao: Didn't you say that the keeper is in the key C? Jiang Gan: (pointing to Zhang Fei) Look, the Prime Minister's Bridge is cut off, and it's about to start to flow backwards (turning to cover his ears). Look, Prime Minister! The bridge is broken! The water began to flow backwards (sound effect: landslide). Cao Cao: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAApain ( If you keep singing, Cao Cao will die because of your song! Liu Bei: Third brother, stop (cover your ears with your hands). Stop (hands over ears) Zhang Fei: Only you ~ ~ only ... you ... (lingering sound) Liu Bei: Brother Long Kuai quickly carried Zhang Fei back with his son Long. Zhao Yun: All right (Zhao Yun put his hand over Zhang Fei's mouth and carried him away, but he still stopped singing) (Zhang Fei, Zhao Yuner) Narrator: It was a long song. The name is "only you". (The song rings again ~ ~