Five-person comic sketches, four-person comic sketches, cross talk

(appearance)

A is shorter than B, so bow. )

B: Hello, audience friends. I will tell you a cross talk today. I hope you like it. Tell me about this. . . (A refers to himself) Hey! I came up with this Shengdong. Why didn't you see anyone? Here you are. . .

A: Hey! What are your eyes? Such a big living station

Please eat here. (pointing to the ground) You didn't see it.

B: Sorry, sorry. But isn't your altitude too low? (Gesturing with hands)

A: Low altitude? I think you are a contemptuous person. Let me ask you something. Pan Changjiang, a famous comedian, has a low altitude.

B: Hmm! (big)

A: how much joy it brings to everyone. Ah! Ceng Zhiwei, the movie star, has a low altitude.

B: Hmm! (middle)

How many movies have you made? President Deng Xiaoping is flying at a low altitude.

B: Hmm! (small, almost silent)

How much contribution have you made to your motherland? Ah! I'm Sheng Dong. . . Ah! (strange voice)

B: What's the matter?

A: So I don't want to cooperate with people like you? Today, as soon as we came on stage, I looked at the faces of the judges. Today's game was a disaster.

B: What's the matter?

You are on the stage! Audience friends, when Zhao Xu appeared, (b Laughed more and more angrily) audience friends must be very worried. Xu Zhaoer appeared, and crosstalk was no longer interesting. Xu Zhaosanyi's outcrop scared a cow in the field to death. Xu appeared, and the whole country jumped off the building. Xu zhaowu .

B: Fuck you. (Pushing away the armor) Hey! Shengdong? (A saw A's face when he came back) How did his face get swollen after several days?

I ate too much steamed bread. (A touches his face)

What a pity! Eating too much steamed stuffed bun will make your face swollen.

A: (Looking around) Oh. That's the nervousness of going on stage. This is going to be on stage. When you are nervous, you are not careful, you don't pay attention. Poof, my face is swollen. (spray words on the face)

This is outrageous. (Wipe your face) Poof, your face is swollen. (Response A) Don't tell the truth!

A: No, today everyone came to listen to our cross talk and said that our faces were swollen. (whispering to b)

B: This is what the audience likes to hear. Let's just say, right?

A: Thank you for your support and love for my face over the years. . .

Don't flatter yourself. Go!

Did I fail the exam today? (helpless expression)

B: Your face was swollen when you failed?

A: (Gave B a white look) I'm not afraid of jokes. Because of my family, I like playing table tennis. So my family implements the competition scoring system.

B: combine exercise with study. This is good! Secretary 1 14 All rights reserved.

A: Not bad! If my score is below 80, tonight's game will be women's singles.

B: Wait a minute! What is a women's singles?

A: My mother hit me alone.

B: Oh! Such a woman is single.

A: If the score is below 70. Then the game was changed to men's singles.

I see. His father beat him alone. So you failed the exam this time. What should the game be?

A: As everyone knows, mixed doubles!

B: Let's go together! All right. Can this face not be swollen?

A: There is a couplet on my wall, which is very telling.

B: And couplets!

A: That's right. The first part is, I will scold you if I say it, and I will scold you if I say it right.

B: The second part.

A: fight if you say so. Call if you have nothing to do.

B: It's horizontal.

A: You can beat and scold.

B: Boy, don't be ready to be beaten at any time!

A: It's so fresh. I am doing my homework in my room. My father came in and my son punched me twice. Soon my mother came in and my son kicked me. When you are like your home, treat you as a sandbag? (plus action)

B: What can I do for you? No, you said that? Let people beat and scold.

A: You just don't commit a crime. As soon as you commit a crime, your father will question you again. There must be a game tonight. (Laughter)

B: Then why don't you tell everyone?

You must see me make a fool of myself today.

No, it's not. It's time for you to give a report to everyone. Prevention and handling of domestic violence reports. (very seriously)

A: Very interesting. Not a day after school. I just entered the house and was walking in when my father stopped me. "son! Come here, let me ask you something! " (loudly)

Your father speaks too loudly.

A: Who said it wasn't? I found out what I did wrong again. Isn't this over? (in a hurry)

B: It's called having a guilty conscience! (to the audience)

A: guilty? What's wrong with emptiness Why are you guilty? Give me a kidney deficiency if you dare.

Hello!

A: I don't care anymore I am not outstanding in learning and literature and art, and my lumbar and shoulder intervertebral disc is prominent. Don't speak in class, and don't speak at the meeting. Flat conductors are hard. (plus action)

B: that's really a back!

A: From this tone, you must find out what I did wrong. My dad's policy! Be lenient in confession and strict in resistance.

B: Do you repent or not? How so awkward!

A: Move! Don't talk when you're killed!

B: It's a man!

A: Tell me as long as you can't die!

B: Hey! That's all I can do.

A: Where to start!

What are you talking about?

A: I have done a lot. Eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, smoking, cheating and stealing. What if I didn't recruit him and found that I was punished for both crimes? You can slap me twice then. Yes

Don't! (Give B two slaps)

Who did I hire? Me?

A: However, other than that, what I did was not a bad thing at all.

What did you do?

A: Just skipping classes and surfing the Internet.

B: Skipping classes and surfing the Internet is nothing!

A: Compared with those who kill and set fires, they rob houses and houses. That's where we're going!

B: Hey!

A: In addition.

Besides, playing games can also develop intelligence.

B: Skipping classes and playing games also develops intelligence. I don't understand what you call a plaything. You also skip class and play games. What took you so long?

What took you so long? Can you upgrade without spending time? Online games are like sailing against the current. If you don't advance, you will retreat. Others will rise step by step. If you go to class, you will be looked down upon in a few days. I will stay up late then, which will affect my study. (Make B stupefied)

B: He still has a reason.

A: It's time for us to lay a good foundation. As the saying goes, there is a mountain. There is no limit to learning the sea. Friend, put down your schoolbag. Try to upgrade! (patting B on the shoulder)

B: Hmm! What the hell! (Push away B) Don't forget that you are a student. Concentrate on your studies

A: Just because we are students. We need to develop in many aspects. Legend does not believe in bubble gum. Westward Journey to Adventure Island!

What are these things?

A: These are all online games I have played!

B: I said you can only play one or two!

A: One or two? Can I take one or two courses in the college entrance examination? (talking loudly)

B: No way. (shaking his head)

A: Still. Online games, such as learning, must not be partial. There are six or seven joint exams in the college entrance examination, and none of them is difficult to get into colleges and universities. You got it?

I see. Is this all acceptable? Like you, you should be found by your family.

I want to know. How did he find me?

B: Nine times out of ten, I saw you playing in the Internet cafe.

A: Impossible! I entered the black internet bar.

B: What is a black Internet cafe?

A: Haven't you heard a song about black Internet cafes?

Which song?

A: Forward, forward. Target black internet bar. We all love him. Cross this street, cross that alley. Don't be afraid of anything when you think of black internet cafes. Forward, forward. . . (Singing, talking and acting)

B: Not yet. (Pushing away armor)

A: Here we are. I saw three big characters on the door, black internet bar. (pointing to the sign)

B: Hey! It is really dark!

A: There is also a small line below, "It's your fault not to come once, and it's my fault not to come next time."

You can surf the Internet here.

A: Great! Parents can't find it, the police can't catch it, and students don't go to school, so they all run there.

B: I don't know how many students have been harmed by such a dark internet cafe. Hey? Did your father find this?

Who knows! He didn't speak, just shook his head. (shaking his head)

B: that's not true. Keep talking!

A: Good! I'm desperate. I said, dad! I went out with e again!

B: This kid! (sudden reaction) No, wait a minute! You didn't say that h and that s before …

A: Oh! H and S are my first two girlfriends. They are so sissy. E is better, my third girlfriend.

B: I fell in love at a young age, and I am still the third child.

A: What time is it? True love is innocent!

B: We are students and can't fall in love!

A: Students. Kindergarten does not fall in love, that is, the flowers of the motherland have not deteriorated, primary school students do not fall in love, junior high school students do not fall in love, indicating that this person is incompetent, high school students do not fall in love, nine times out of ten is abnormal.

B: That's nonsense. I am not in love.

A: You! Let me see, (gesturing to B's face) this is God's creation, but it was an oversight. Turn him into a beast.

B: (pushes away the armor) You are a beast! Then what you said is very reasonable. Why doesn't your father let you fall in love?

A: Exactly! Now this parent, worry. I said I was in love, and he said I was in puppy love, which was no good. I said I would stop falling in love and become a single aristocrat. They said I was unfilial. . .

B: It's all for your own good. Doesn't puppy love affect your study?

You saw it, didn't you? You saw us elope and stop studying, didn't you? As the saying goes, men and women are not tired of working together. Don't you think so? Secretary 1 14 All rights reserved.

B: You will never repent. Hey? Is that what your father said?

A: I shook my head before I spoke. (A shakes his head)

No, we have to confess!

A: Good! I confessed everything. After what I told you. My father just spoke. "I see you did well today, so I won't punish you. Don't do this again! " (talking like dad)

I told you! Parents are the same in the world. Punishment is not an end, but education.

A: My dad just finished it. My mother came out. Dad, I told you to ask your son if his pocket money is enough. Did you ask?

B: Hey! Your dad found nothing! Is to give you money to spend!

A: Isn't it a loss? Fooled by the Japanese!

B: This kid!

A: I didn't expect my father to hear this. Put your hands up and hit me!

I see. Men's singles!

A: Fuck you!

(exit)