I want funny jokes, the more funny, the better. Do you have Meade?

1. On this day, the desk lamp at home went out. Dad took out a new light bulb and was about to change it. Suddenly he remembered something and asked his 10-year-old son, do you know what to do first? "

"Knock on the old light bulb to see if it is broken."

Dad shook his head and said angrily, "why don't you have any safety awareness?" Do you know how dangerous this charged thing is? " If you get an electric shock, you may die! "

After listening, the son asked thoughtfully and tentatively, "Is the first step to make a will?"

The teacher asked the children to write a composition on the topic "Mom, I only have one".

A classmate wrote: "Yesterday, I came home from school and was very hungry. I went into the kitchen and started rummaging in the refrigerator. As a result, I found that there was only one bread left in it, so I took it out and ate it. At this moment, my mother saw it and said to me,' Bring me a bread, too.' . I replied, mom, I only have one. "

At the dinner table, the mother said to her daughter, "Honey, you should eat more vegetables with different colors. The book says that the more kinds of colors, the more complete nutrition. Do you understand? "

Daughter: "I understand."

Mom: "Count the colors of the dishes served tonight."

The daughter looked at it carefully and said, "six, including the burnt part, a total of seven kinds." . . . "

4. Someone took his wife and children to visit the surrounding counties and kept running. My son was tired, so he asked to take a taxi.

He said, "Why are you so lazy? Do you need long legs by car? "

The son said, "Ham doesn't run either." 1. A lady took her pet dog to the supermarket to buy food. The waiter immediately came to dissuade her: "Dogs can't go into the supermarket."

The woman immediately replied: "Then I will go back."

2. A friend was drunk, stopped a taxi and asked, "Can Master go now?"

The master said, "Let's go."

The buddy said, "Then you go ..."

Then stop the next one. . .

3. When we were eating last night, the question of age was discussed at the dinner table. A junior born in 199 1 had to pretend to be 1989. After being exposed, he was a little embarrassed, arguing that he was 1989 in his previous life.

At this time, a very steady girl on the table said simply: Your last life was very short. ...

When I was waiting in line to pay for clothes with my wife, she took out cash. I saw many beautiful women around me, so I took out my husband's generosity, took out my wallet and took out my credit card in one hand: "I'll swipe my card!" "

The wife replied, "I'd better come and let your wife know how bad it is!" " "

At dinner yesterday, a group of known and unknown friends got together. After three rounds of drinking, I don't know who said that oil prices have gone up again, and then I started to scold Sinopec, and the Law Committee is his father. A brother Li on the side was even more indignant, cursing Sinopec, eating at home and picking on the outside, colluding with the outside world, deceiving his superiors and deceiving his subordinates, and harming the country and the people. . . A series of criticisms.

At the end of the speech, I put my arm around this brother's shoulder and said, "Brother, that's great. This is the first time we have met. Which unit do you belong to? "

The buddy burped and said, "I'm in the oil."