Humorous jokes that are funny every day.

There are a lot of funny jokes updated on the Internet every day, many of which are wonderful and deeply loved by everyone. The following are the daily funny jokes I compiled for you. I hope you like them.

Excerpt from a very interesting humorous joke.

1. China has a history of 5,000 years and has always preferred sons to daughters. 2 1 century has finally changed the minds of the people of China!

When I saw my ex-girlfriend that day, she came to buy food with a big belly and put down a bag of yogurt. I saw her dressed a few years ago. I'm so bored. I used to hold the baby in my hand, but now I can't even bear to buy myself a bottle of yogurt!

It is said that riding a bike is good for health and does not hurt your knees. I don't know what brand is good. When I arrived at the giant store, the sister who sold the car was very good. She is good at saying that I rode it that day and it felt good!

My best friend was unhappy today, so I asked her: What's wrong with you? My best friend said, I have to pay the rent today. I said, wouldn't it be over if you handed it in? Girlfriend: How to get menstruation? Me: This?

5. My friend thought I was dirty and gave me a nickname called Huang. Later it was changed to the yellow queen, and now it is the yellow queen. I don't know when it got so dirty!

6. On my way home, I suddenly rushed out of several big men with knives and told me to take off my pants. Shit, I suddenly tightened my chrysanthemums, thinking I wouldn't meet a pervert. Who knows that they left as soon as I undressed, and my girlfriend agreed to my proposal the next day. On the wedding day, I saw several elder brothers-in-law, and I always felt as if I had seen them somewhere. How strange!

7. Today, I have a rest. After a day of shopping in Taobao, the shopping cart is almost full. When I was about to submit the order, my husband knelt in front of me with his daughter in his arms and said, please save some milk powder money for your child.

8. From world events to eating and shitting, any news can arouse the curse of netizens in China, but the netizens on yellow forums are of high quality and have never seen anyone swear. Both: the landlord has worked hard, thank him, and the landlord has a good life.

I went on a business trip with my boss yesterday. At the airport, a foreigner asked boss how to get to Jinan in broken Chinese! As a result, the boss turned around and asked me: What's that Xiao Chen in Jinan say in English? My weak answer: boss, is he speaking Chinese?

10. A couple on the bus, the woman was touched by a pervert, and her boyfriend was expressionless. After arriving at the station, her boyfriend pulled the pervert out of the car, beat him skillfully and took his girlfriend away. Analysis of the reasons for a website's voting. People voted "This boy is waiting for his skills to cool down." . . "

1 1. A buddy and his girlfriend took the bus, and his girlfriend was harassed behind a pervert. Without saying anything, the buddy leaned behind the pervert and began to touch the pervert. Damn it, it is said that that pervert is about to cry?

12. I am so angry. Some people say I look like Aoi sora. I didn't know Aoi sora before and thought I was a star, so I was complacent. Now I want to rip their mouths off, which makes me so angry?

13. One day, a beautiful woman went out to take a bus, and there were so many people crowded that she didn't get a seat. Suddenly an restless hand touched her ass! The beauty rolled her eyes and said to a person on the edge, "Hello, help me see if there is a centipede crawling on my back?" My domestic centipede. "Hand stopped with a whoosh.

14. I took the bus today, and there were many people, but I didn't take it. There is a beautiful sister paper standing in front of me. I saw a pervert rubbing her all the time. You know, I used jj. Suddenly, my sister shouted at the pervert on the right. You are a policeman! A car full of people looked at him, too loud. The pervert said no. Very innocent to say. Then that sister paper blinded my dog with one sentence. Then why are you pointing a gun at me? Then, then there is no then.

15. My mother told me that I can't stand the pervert on the bus, and I am a fool if I endure it! The moment he touched me that day, I blushed and groaned.

16. Today's Christmas, my colleague said with a smile that I must clap my hands with my wife when I go home today. Put your penis in and your balls out. It's called Christmas. Later, we all said that we finally knew why everyone was rushing to celebrate the foreign festival.

17. assistant director: "that big female star only showed two points today." Director: "What happened to her? Didn't you tell her it was all exposed at three o'clock? " Assistant Director: "But she said she was" a little under the weather today.

18. I have made many friends in this city for ten years, and my contacts are all over the circle. I met an old friend in the street the other day. He didn't see me, so I missed Doby and called him. He took out his mobile phone and looked at it, but he didn't answer it.

19. Why is Little Red and Little Red Riding Hood the flattest girl in fairy tales because, because, that's because, her grandmother was eaten by a wolf.

20. For ten years, I have never treated my woman badly. A few days ago, I quietly showed a photo of a beautiful woman in my mobile phone to Sister Meng in the old photo frame in the company. Sister Meng said, "It's a waste for such a beautiful girl without a mistress." I smiled faintly and said, "It's not a waste."

Daily humor appreciation

1. I stayed in high school. In the evening, a group of girls discuss the size of boobs. A tough woman, who is relatively flat, suddenly said excitedly, "I have been sitting on the subway for a long time, and I am most afraid that someone will accidentally hit my chest!" " Because bra is concave and can't bounce out! "

2. A party, a temporary change of place! A buddy didn't pay attention and went to the original restaurant. The point is that he thought there was a traffic jam and others didn't arrive, so he ordered the food first.

3. A girlfriend has small breasts, so we bury her every day. One day, the man finally couldn't stand it. He shouted at us: My chest is small, why not! I followed my dad, whatever!

There is a girl with flat breasts. She was afraid that her boyfriend would know that she was disgusted and never told him. The first time they went to bed, they turned off the lights and got into bed. The man began to touch the girl's chest. Then the boy said, honey, don't sleep on your stomach.

5. Me: Baby, mom really wants to take you on a trip! Baby: OK. Me: But what if Mom doesn't have time? Baby: Mom, you have no money either!

Years ago, years of experience made me a master of problem solving and promoted to a higher management position. I need a new secretary, and she also needs training and guidance. Things are going well. On the first day, I helped her solve her life problems. The next day, I helped her solve her psychological problems. On the third day, she helped me solve my physical problems.

7. On a hot summer day, everyone was eating sorbet. Suddenly, a girl "ah", "what bad luck! It fell on my chest! " Female B ate calmly and said, "Be content with you, I drip on my stomach every time". Then I only heard the female C "hum" and said, "Are you all satisfied? Drop on your feet every time. " How flat do you have to be?

For ten years, I have been able to correctly handle the relationship between family and career. Chatting with his wife one day, she asked, "How many years has the female secretary of your company been here?" A: More than four years. "How old is it?" I don't know, there are at least twenty. "Is it beautiful?" A: Just so-so. "What about getting dressed?" A: Soon.

9. They are all the same girl, decorating the house at home, and the construction team is not responsible. Dad quarreled with them, and the girl came to stop the fight. Dad said, you're here. Why don't you lie down? Did you get a look at him? This is Ping! You can also call it an apartment with bricks! ?

10. It's really hot these days! I just called my mother for more than ten minutes. My mother said, "Daughter, it's too hot. Forget it. My mobile phone is on fire. I'm afraid I will burn my face. Call me again at night! " Hang up! "I:? .

1 1. Wife: "Old man, how long do you think we will be poor?" The old man looked up at the sky and thought for a moment: "That depends on how long we can live."

12. Today, my wife asked me with a pair of yellow underwear: What do you think of this? Me: I think it's good. I can't even tell if I stuck shit on it!

13. for ten years, I have always thought that the automatic door of the unit is amazing. Sometimes you stand far away, and sometimes you need to walk very close. If the security guard hadn't stood in the hall forever, I would have studied the test. Until today, I stumbled across its mystery? It turns out that the security guard has a remote control!

14. One day, I invited my classmates out to play, but they didn't come. The landlord stood very tired and leaned against the bus next to him. After a while, my classmates came, saw me, and shouted from a distance: You fucking stole the public! Lying in the trough, what is the rate of turning around?

15. Ten years later, the confidante finally went to bed. I said, if I had known this, why did I have to pretend for so long? Really tired! Hearing this, the girl said, you have to go through the door before you can put on airs and sing! First "bosom friend", then "intellectuality".

16. When I was bored last night, I suddenly remembered my beautiful and gentle ex-girlfriend, so I turned out my QQ number and entered the space excitedly. I was shocked when I saw the first speech. It's actually about me. It says: I am willing to trade my ex-boyfriend's life for a cool weather.

17. My boyfriend rolled a stick with a tissue and poked me in the stomach while I was waiting for the bus. I was shocked. He said to himself, "white knife goes in and white knife goes out. Your fat is really thick." I'm speechless. Five minutes later, he stabbed me in the chest again. In order to cooperate with him, I shouted "Ah ~ ~"

18. I have had eight managers for ten years. A beautiful new female secretary came to the company that day. Two days later, the manager proudly said to me, "Last night, I found that the new secretary was better in bed than my wife." I said ingratiatingly, "I feel better than your wife, too."

19. In ten years, I need to deal with more and more family and work conflicts, and I need to find better solutions. "I can't do it." After drinking, I poured out my worries to Shirley. She was drunk and out of her mind, expressing her deep sympathy. She said, your spear is really a bit dull, so you should strengthen your exercise.

20. Ten years later, I'm still searching, and I'm depressed because of the gap between my dream and reality. Xiao Min is considerate, but not beautiful. Meng Xiao is beautiful, but not sexy. Xiao Gan is sexy, but she has a bad temper. Xiao Jing is considerate, beautiful and sexy, but she is my wife.

A selection of daily humorous jokes

1. Ten years, I have returned to my hometown. European customs is landing, and the quiet town is destroyed by the roaring noise everywhere. I'm glad I left this vulgar city. I walked into the hair salon, and the girl who washed her hair warmly asked me to sit down: Big Brother, where are you from?

2. Women's self-esteem is more fragile than ultra-thin stockings. Many times, you care too much about her self-esteem, and she may not care about your self-esteem. If she wants to be Cixi, don't be Li.

The most painful thing in the world is to wake up after a good sleep.

On the way to a bus, many people crowded in through the back door, the door could not be closed, and no one put in money. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, if you don't invest money, get out, or I will get out! Everyone laughed at that time!

5. Son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "well, if I borrow one hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I will have capital." If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. "

6. Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was chosen by Cobra with absolute superiority. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so they are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.

7. My ideal university life is to have classes at eight o'clock in the morning, to be in the library in the afternoon, to play games, watch movies and read books in the dormitory at night, and then to go to bed at eleven o'clock on time. Who should I call to say good night before going to bed? But it turns out that there is still a gap between ideal and reality, like the distance between Mars and the earth?

8. My router has a bad port. Now it's routing crying.

9. Wear two clothes to go out, experience a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, look down at the sky, look up at the mushroom head, oblique bangs left and right, turn 28 a little, turn 37 a little, turn left to right punk, turn right to left punk, and become a quasi punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and I am blown into all kinds of growls.

10. "I bet I can make you forget that you are gay now!" "But I'm not gay." "Look!"