Little friends, tell me a joke.

1, a girl was stopped by a man when she came back to school at night. After the girl pulled up her skirt, she asked the man to take off his pants. So the man took off his pants! The girl returned to the dormitory and told her roommate about it. The roommate was surprised to ask the result.

The girl said, "Think about it, a woman who pulls up a skirt must run much faster than a man who takes off his pants ..."

Today, two boys at school were fighting at the school gate, and they were in full swing. No one dared to come forward and pull away. One moment I don't know whose mobile phone is flying out, and the other moment I don't know whose money is flying out.

At this time, a buddy came over and said: true cow, explosive equipment, gold coins. ...

3. In class, a classmate sleeps on his stomach. The classmate in front put a super smelly fart, and the one who slept behind suddenly rubbed his eyes and said, This fart is really hot!

Just after the winter vacation, the school started. In a class of Grade Two in primary school, 80% of the students are doing their own things.

The teacher was angry: "Do whatever you like! You can't take this course. "

A classmate calmly raised his hand: "Teacher, can I shoot?"

The teacher said casually, "Whatever."

The student casually took out a set of firecrackers from his schoolbag and put them in the classroom. ...

Snow White came to the forest and saw a house. When she went in, she saw seven little beds and thought, aren't these the seven dwarfs I was destined to be? The seven dwarfs came back, and Snow White asked, "Are you the seven dwarfs I was destined to be?" The seven dwarfs said very calmly, "We are cucurbits."

6. I had dinner with my friends and went to the night market, just as a police patrol car passed by. In the distance, warning lights are flashing. As soon as the vendors saw it, they packed their things and seemed to be running away. At this time, the police uncle who is close to the people shouted in the car with a megaphone: Don't run, not the urban management. ...

7. Weigh yourself at home after meals. My dad said: You haven't weighed 80 Jin in 20 years. I wonder what it would be like to raise a pig. Might as well have a pig.

Suddenly feel despised.

My mother said to my father faintly: You have raised this pig for more than 50 years, and it is only 120 kg. ...

I feel that this is the real mother!

8. The police officer got angry with his subordinates: "If you four can't catch a criminal, it's useless."

"Sir, although we didn't bring the man back, we brought his fingerprints back."

"Where is it?"

"On the face."

9. My daughter wants money to buy candy. My mother said: our family has no money, so let's sell your father!

Hearing this, the daughter burst into tears and said that everyone has a father. Who will buy my father?

10, female university graduates from Zhejiang University, Zhejiang Sci-Tech University and Zhejiang University of Finance and Economics applied for jobs, and their bosses asked their respective graduation institutions.

A woman patted her chest and said, Zhejiang University!

Female B patted her chest without showing weakness and said, Zhejiang University!

C woman disdained to look at the first two, patting her chest confidently and saying: Zhejiang Caida!

1 1. One day, a pregnant woman was stopped by the traffic police while crossing the road. Then the pregnant woman said, "Why did you stop me?" First, I didn't run a red light. Second, I didn't take the zebra crossing. Third, I didn't press the line. Why are you punishing me? "

The traffic police said, "You are overloaded!"

12, I once played poker at home with my sister and my neighbor's friends.

The scene was quiet and I suddenly farted loudly. Awkward. They didn't say anything.

I want to ease the atmosphere and say, "Little Sister, it's your turn ..."

My sister said, "I can't let go."

13, two people go to the auto show. The models at the auto show are too exposed, which makes them sigh!

A man asked, "Have you ever seen this kind of clothes since you were born?"

The other party replied: "I can't say that I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it since weaning. "

14, on the road that day, I reached out to say hello to my friend, and a taxi stopped next to me immediately. ...

I asked, "What can I do for you?"

Driver: "Get on the bus!"

Me: "Where to?"

The driver was covered in black lines. ...

15, several students got up late on the day of the exam. They lied that the car tire was flat, so they missed the exam. The professor agreed to make-up exams and arrange them in different examination rooms. There is only one question in the test paper: "Which tire is flat?"

16, Husband: How lucky I am to find such a good wife in my last life!

Wife: You didn't fix it, I did!

Husband: ...

17, the teacher said, "Daxiong, the teacher gave you 90 yuan, and then you borrowed 10 yuan from Pang Hu. How much money do you have?"

Nobita said, "0 yuan."

The teacher said, "You don't know math at all! ! "

Nobita said, "You don't know Pang Hu at all! ! "

18, a buddy invited me to drink, and as a result, everyone drank too much. He insisted on taking a taxi to take me home. Holding the pull ring on the co-pilot door all the time in the car, I walked to a downtown area and said to the driver, master, drive slowly, it's too fast, and it hurts. The driver replied helplessly: traffic jam, brother!

19 When eating, my son suddenly left the table and ran to the mirror, pointing to his teeth and nagging angrily. When I asked him why, my son smiled and said, "My tongue was bitten by my teeth. I was criticizing!" " "

20. Xiaomi came home after the exam and said, "Dad, what if I get the first place in the class?"

Xiaomi said, "Then I will be so happy."

"ouch ... why can't you talk nonsense when you are swollen?" Xiaomi took out a test paper with only 26 points: "How can I let you die!"

Being alone is better than being happy with others. After reading it, you must reprint it or share it in the space for friends to see, and at the same time increase the popularity of your own space.

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