Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Chaoshan decoration jokes daquan

Chaoshan decoration jokes daquan

1 The following is a joke about Chaoshan dialect:

Classmates have a barbecue, and lesbians from other places learn from me "How do you say fish in Chaoshan dialect?" I said, "Oh."

She repeated, "How do you say fish in Chaoshan dialect?" I said, "Oh."

She was helpless: "So ... how do you say oysters in Chaoshan dialect?" Me: "Oh."

She asked again, "What do you think of oysters?" Me: "Oh."

Later, she asked me, can you tell me how to say "egg" in Chaoshan dialect? I said, "Yes." She said, "Say it if you can!" I said, "Yes." ……

Finally, she asked, "Can you tell me what the shrimp said?" Me: "Hey ~"

Since then, our friendship has come to an end.

Explanation: The pronunciation of fish in Chaoshan dialect is the same as that in Mandarin, that of oyster is similar to that in Mandarin, that of egg is the same as that of energy, and that of shrimp is similar to that in Mandarin. )

The following are jokes about Cantonese:

Don't shout thunder.

It turned out that a Guangdong buddy played CS together, and every time he was hit by the enemy, he shouted: Thunder! With tears in our eyes, we threw the thunder in our hands and continued to charge. In order to get shot, we also sent a message to our teammates ... Later, we found out that this buddy also called Lei, only to understand that this is a Cantonese sentence!

(explanation: "throwing thunder" is a swear word in cantonese. )

② "dead" clothes machine

Today, I was shopping in the supermarket and wanted to buy a washing machine. I met a clerk who spoke nonstandard Cantonese. Her Cantonese makes me laugh and cry. The content is as follows: "Our' dead' clothes machine is touch, so it is convenient and simple to die in Lebanon, and it has the function of quick death. As long as it is banned, 10 minutes will be over, and it will die quickly and cleanly, and it can be programmed to die automatically and regularly, you think.

It shows that the pronunciation of "washing" and "death" in Cantonese is very close.

My name is Wu Fei.

Policeman: I am a policeman. What's the name of this gentleman?

Passerby: My name is Wu Fei.

Policeman: Stop joking.

Passerby: Who's kidding you? I told you my name was a secret.

Policeman: Still playing? Do you want to interfere with official duties? Take out your ID card!

Passers-by obediently handed over their ID cards to the police. Policeman: Oh, it's a waste of things (he pronounced "waste" in Cantonese).

Passerby: Not a waste, I am a secret.

Policeman: Fermi (waste) is waste (waste). What's so mysterious about it?