Is it really wrong for me to refuse premarital sex?

My first blind date was also my first boyfriend, and also the first person I fell in love with for the purpose of getting married. Because I had no objection to the blind date, my parents said that working in the same factory would help me develop a relationship, so I went there. The factory of a fellow villager has separate dormitories for men and women. I usually refuse to pay when he wants to buy things or clothes. I say that I have money and I will pay the same. In fact, I am afraid of owing a favor. After all, I am not sure that I will. After marrying him, a few months later, he heard from his colleagues that we should live together. The landlady is from the same country, and she also said that if we lived together, she would rent a room for us. Then he asked me, and I refused. First of all, we had known each other for a while, We’re not very familiar with each other yet, and we don’t have deep feelings for each other. It’s very embarrassing. I’m not sure if I won’t marry him but him. Who can guess what will happen in the future? It seems that after working for less than 2 months, he listened to the instigation and told me that he broke up. To be honest, it was a dark time for me because it was the first time that I liked someone with my heart, and it was for the purpose of getting married. Yes, they say first love is the most unforgettable and hurtful. I didn’t know how many tears I shed, but I still chose to leave. I didn’t even pay my salary. I went home for a few months to recuperate and adjust my mentality, and then I went to work again. After a few years Later, he found my number through someone else and sent a message saying that it was all his fault in the first place. He wanted to see me, even once, but I refused. There was no need to see me again after we separated, and we have no contact since! [Smile] Finally, I want to say that as a woman, you must respect yourself and love yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, how can others respect you?

First of all, I can tell you for sure, yes.

Although modern society is relatively open to girls’ sexual concepts, and many backward areas even take pride in getting married while pregnant, in fact, if you think about it carefully, premarital sex is actually a hanging matter for women. A knife on your head can put you in danger at any time.

Let me share a few examples from my life;

A. I usually took measures to live together before marriage, but one day I couldn’t stand my boyfriend’s hard work, and I got hit. Although emergency contraception was used afterwards, it did not help. Later, when they were talking about marriage, they had a disagreement and broke up. As you can imagine, the result was that the boy didn't lose anything, but the girl has always been brooding over this matter, and she still can't get out of it. I'm thinking, if one day, she will be with her again. How should you deal with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?

B, she is the prospective daughter-in-law of my relative. How should I put it? Before she got married, she lived with her husband’s family and lived with her parents. I had heard before that the “little couple” were not married. They were too harmonious, and I heard recently that they have separated. In fact, I had expected this a long time ago, because I had heard the boy say earlier that he wanted to find a girl who could support his husband, raise his children, and manage the family. However, this girl, in the eyes of the boy's parents, was The kind of person who needs to wake up two or three times even for breakfast.

In fact, the above two examples may be quite extreme, but who can guarantee that you will not encounter such a probability event? A person who truly loves you must be someone who respects you and wants to To protect you, I will never let you bear fear and risk just for the sake of temporary pleasure. As a girl, you must maintain your own rationality in certain matters, otherwise, you are likely to pay a heavy price for your choices.

You are not wrong! What you did is right, and it deserves a big shout-out!

It is right to refuse premarital sex, because it is girls who are hurt by premarital sex. Some scumbag men do it in the name of love in order to play with girls. After a few days of dating, they can’t wait to ask the girl to sacrifice herself. After playing enough He left. Some boys want to date you and ask to live together. He cheats on you with sex and money to make you pregnant, and then he slaps his ass and leaves. At that time, you will complain that Tian Tian is not responding, and you are complaining that Earth and Earth are not working... So girls should Be more reserved and don't be happy for a moment and regret it for the rest of your life. Say no to premarital sex!

I am a rural woman who got married in the 1970s. Like you, I refused to have sex before marriage, stuck to my bottom line, and stayed safe until I went to the commune civil affairs office to register for a marriage certificate, entered the bridal chamber after the wedding, and gave my first love to the groom (my husband) during the wedding night. ). After marriage, we love each other, respect each other, tolerate each other, care for each other, and love each other.

We are now full of children and grandchildren, living a happy, sweet, happy and happy married life.

You are right to refuse premarital sex. I support and applaud you. There is nothing wrong with your fiancé asking to have sex with you. I don't blame him, nor do I support him. It is a man's nature to be eager to have sex. You should explain your bottom line to him, explain your wishes, communicate with him more, and state the harm and serious consequences of premarital sex to women. Make him understand the harms and disadvantages of premarital sex, and let him realize that premarital sex can cause serious physical and mental damage to girls. Please ask him to respect your wishes and protect your physical and mental health.

If your fiancé truly loves you, he will understand your efforts to stick to your bottom line, respect your wishes, love you, and will never force you to have sex before marriage. He will wait until the wedding. Then he enters the bridal chamber and has sex with you during the night of flowers and candles in the bridal chamber.

If he doesn’t really love you, doesn’t respect your wishes, has no compassion for you, and insists on having sex before marriage, he is not a good man. I think you'd better break up with him. Such a man is not worthy of true love. If you marry a man who doesn't respect women, not only will the woman be hurt, but the woman will also not have a good life after marriage, and she will suffer all her life. If a man is irresponsible and has the intention of toying with a woman, the consequences for the woman will be even worse. If he gets tired of playing with you and abandons you, where will you go to cry? Therefore, you must treat premarital sex seriously and cautiously, and protect yourself physically and mentally from harm, so that you can live a happy life.

I am a rural woman who got married in the 1970s. Like you, I refused to have sex before marriage, stuck to my bottom line, and kept my integrity until I went to the commune civil affairs office to register and get a marriage certificate, and after the wedding, I entered the bridal chamber and gave my first love to the groom (my husband) during the wedding night. ). After marriage, we love each other, respect each other, tolerate each other, care for each other, and love each other. We are now full of children and grandchildren, living a happy, sweet, happy and happy married life.

You are right to refuse premarital sex. I support and applaud you. There is nothing wrong with your fiancé asking to have sex with you. I don't blame him, nor do I support him. It is a man’s nature to be eager to have sex. You should explain your bottom line to him, explain your wishes, communicate with him more, and state the harm and serious consequences of premarital sex to women. Make him understand the harms and disadvantages of premarital sex, and let him realize that premarital sex can cause serious physical and mental damage to girls. Please ask him to respect your wishes and protect your physical and mental health.

If your fiancé truly loves you, he will understand your efforts to stick to your bottom line, respect your wishes, love you, and will never force you to have sex before marriage. He will wait until the wedding. Then he enters the bridal chamber and has sex with you during the night of flowers and candles in the bridal chamber.

If he doesn't really love you, doesn't respect your wishes, has no compassion for you, and insists on having sex before marriage, he is not a good man. I think you'd better break up with him. Such a man is not worthy of true love. If you marry a man who doesn't respect women, not only will the woman be hurt, but the woman will also not have a good life after marriage, and she will suffer all her life. If a man is irresponsible and has the intention of toying with a woman, the consequences for the woman will be even worse. If he gets tired of playing with you and abandons you, where will you go to cry? Therefore, you must treat premarital sex seriously and cautiously, and protect yourself physically and mentally from harm, so that you can live a happy life.

I personally think you are right.

Let me explain that I am a worker in the medical industry. I would like to share my personal work experience and opinions:

When I was a child, I heard from neighbors who visited me that the daughter of my colleague in the factory was only 15 years old. She became pregnant at the age of 30. The girl wanted to give birth to the child, but the man disappeared after hearing that she was pregnant. The girl and her parents tried their best to find the man, only to find out that the man was already 30 years old and had been married in their hometown for many years. , the man did not admit that the child was his at all, and had a big fight with the girl and the girl's parents in the girl's yard. He cursed a lot, which caused a lot of discussion among the neighbors.

In that small place, this incident spread like wildfire. The girl eventually dropped out of school, and her parents were also embarrassed.

In high school, a girl in the class suddenly had a miscarriage during class. At first, she only said that she had her period and had a stomachache. Later, the girl’s face turned pale, and the teacher asked the classmate next to her to help her home. The girl stood up. Only then did she realize that most of her pants were stained red. The teacher suddenly realized something. She hurried back to the office and went to the principal's office on the same floor. Then she helped the girl downstairs and got into the ambulance waiting at the school gate. That class was originally a history class taught by the head teacher, but was eventually changed to a politics class. Later I found out that the girl was not having her period at all, but had a miscarriage. This was confirmed when the school announced the criticism. Due to the extremely bad impact, the school planned to persuade the girl to withdraw, but the girl's parents did not agree and transferred to another school. In the end, the girl still Dropped out of school, but I saw her after school.

During college, the school organized us to participate in internships. The medical education department divided us into several groups. Our group was assigned to the obstetrics and gynecology department. When the teacher was teaching us to watch B-ultrasound, suddenly a group of people pushed us A wheelchair rushed in. There were both men and women among them. They said that they were students from the provincial university and wanted to treat the girl in the wheelchair. The teacher went over to check, and we hurriedly gathered around. The girl was sweating profusely, her face was pale, and her hands and feet were cold (shock) (physical signs), the teacher asked her when the pain started, how it hurt, whether it hurt before, and whether she had had sex recently. However, no matter how she asked, the girl didn’t answer and only said that her stomach hurt. After the surgery, the teacher suspected that she had an acute perforation of the appendix and asked the medical director to take her for a B-ultrasound. Before she had gone far, the teacher quickly called the operating room and asked us to notify them to go to the operating room immediately. Everyone hurried to catch up. When she went to the operating room, no one was there before she even got there. Her classmates were so frightened that they had to be reminded several times before they realized what was going on. They quickly called the school and the girl's parents. They were probably locals. The girl's parents came very quickly. When they saw the girl's body, the girl's mother fainted and was taken to the ward. The father held the girl's body and cried loudly. He was out of breath and asked what disease he had. , left suddenly. The teacher said it was ectopic pregnancy and heavy bleeding. Later, other patients came, and we followed the teacher. When we left, everyone from the school and the girl's parents came, but we didn't see the girl's boyfriend.

To be honest, at first I felt that my parents were quite feudal and that these things were far away from me. But when something like this happened, I can still clearly remember when I heard that a 15-year-old girl was pregnant. The family was treated as a joke by the neighbors after dinner. They remember the horrific scene of a classmate having a miscarriage in class, and the parents of a 22-year-old provincial college girl crying and howling like ghosts.

I think they are pitiful and hateful! It's a pity that at such a young age, the future is ruined or even the beauty is gone, leaving the parents to suffer embarrassment and humiliation, and suffer the pain of the white-haired people giving the black-haired people. What is hateful is that they know that it is wrong, but they still knowingly commit the crime and trample on them. Your capital! If something happened and you knew you were embarrassed, why would you have gone there earlier? If you didn't feel embarrassed, why didn't the doctor answer honestly when he asked me? Could it be that the baby that parents hold in their mouths for fear of melting and keep in their hands for fear of freezing after birth is just for others to treat as rubbish? Don't you feel sorry for your parents? If the other person really loves you, why would he force you to do it? He would deceive you with a sweet word before you could even feel sorry for him? Are you going to give in to your threats or harsh words?

You think that you can move the other person by fluttering into the flame and give your all, but in the end, you have moved yourself and become a complete joke in the eyes of the other person!

This is a lesson learned from the past!

Of course, not everyone who has premarital sex is unhappy. My roommate got pregnant first, got the certificate, and then held a grand wedding. But I am not confident that I will be as lucky as her. I can only choose the safest way to protect myself. If bad luck comes my way once, I will be completely doomed. I can’t afford to lose, because I still have my parents and my responsibilities and obligations. I can’t let anything happen to me, and I don’t dare to let anything happen to me. !

Now that I’m married, I gave it to my husband for the first time. He was so pleasantly surprised and said to me, you are so good. I thought it would be okay even if it wasn’t your first time, but I didn’t expect God to treat me like this. so good! Thank you! So there’s nothing wrong with saying no to premarital sex, but what’s wrong with protecting yourself?

First of all, let me give you a very definite answer: You are not wrong.

Next, I want to criticize what a certain respondent said: Men love because of sex. He also gave his own example: The girlfriend he was dating only wanted to hold hands and hug him, so they broke up later, and even when the girl tried to win him back, they failed to reconcile. I want to sincerely say something to that girl: Thank you for not marrying me.

Nowadays, sexual concepts are indeed more open than before. Some girls want to keep their most precious things on their wedding night and give them to their future partners. This is understandable, because this is your freedom.

Of course, don’t feel guilty because you gave your first time to the other person before marriage. Sex should be a very beautiful thing. If you can give your first time to the person you love voluntarily, that is also a very beautiful thing.

In summary, no matter whether your sexual behavior occurs before or after marriage, this is your freedom. You don’t have to feel embarrassed if your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you because you didn’t want to have sex with him before marriage. If I want to break up with you, then I really want to say: break up quickly, you are so stupid!

Support you! Girls are so messed up these days! We had sex with a boyfriend within a few days, and they broke up again within a few days! To be honest, it doesn’t matter to men! The body fluids of different men are left in a woman's body. After a long time after the age of 30, the body will smell bad. The body fluids of male animals are overbearing and mutually exclusive. Don't ask me why I know this! If you don’t believe it, you can try it!

It is your fault to refuse to live together. Trying love before marriage is not an option! If your boyfriend is a real man, he should be happy because of your cleanliness and self-love. You must not be too fond of dragons, otherwise he will cry when you marry a casual wife and face so many temptations in life!

I am known in my workplace as someone who dares to speak out, especially on issues related to the relationship between men and women.

There was a 29-year-old sister-in-law who quietly chatted with me about her husband at the dining table while having lunch in the cafeteria one day, and stayed silently. tears.

Her question is:

When she was twenty years old, she met her current husband.

The 23-year-old boy is sunny, handsome, gentle and considerate, clean and generous, and works in the construction industry.

After dating for half a year, the two had physical contact, but never had sexual relations. Simply because the girl’s tutoring is quite traditional and strict. She told him that before marriage, he was not allowed to have sexual relations, and was limited to ordinary hand-holding and hugging.

The young man agreed to her.

She was very moved and secretly vowed to stay with him forever.

In her twenty-third year, she held a wedding with him.

For six years now, they have had no children.

I asked her: Why don’t you have a child?

What she said surprised me. She said: I am still a virgin.

Why? Why? Why? ...

She wiped away her tears, and her aggrieved voice was really heartbreaking: For six years, her husband has been unable to complete his sexual tasks.

I have also been to many hospitals for examinations. It is not a psychological disease, but an organic disease.

I took a bunch of various medicines, but it was like eating popcorn, nothing happened. As for whether it could be cured, she understood the answer from the doctor's silent attitude.

Why not divorce? Is it allowed by law? I asked.

She said: At the beginning, she had placed hope on cure, so she persisted. As time passed and I lost hope, I began to worry about the feelings of my parents, relatives and friends. Besides, he was very good in all aspects, but she couldn't bear it.

I said, what are you thinking about now?

She said: If I had a choice, I would definitely sleep with him after knowing him for three months.

Alas, all the regrets in the world are late awakenings.

She said: It has been six years, and she doesn’t want to endure it anymore. She wants to have a normal family, a normal love, and a child of her own... She can’t delay it any longer, and her age doesn’t allow it.

She decided to have a showdown with her parents and husband.

She wanted me to give her a piece of advice.

This is a war between humanity and morality!

I didn’t hesitate at all. I stood on the side of humanity and told her to firm up my beliefs and get a divorce.

It is difficult to say that refusing sex before marriage is wrong.

However, many conflicts after marriage are caused by the lack of cohabitation before marriage and the lack of in-depth understanding of the hidden dangers.

Chastity and integrity are the traditional marriage culture.

Society promotes the concept of traditional marriage culture in order to promote social stability.

But society is constantly changing and progressing, and women have already sacrificed enough in traditional culture.

Emancipating fixed concepts does not necessarily mean subverting tradition, nor does it necessarily mean historical retrogression, but a reasonable transformation of traditional ideas and a reasonable interpretation of the essence of human nature.

There is no prohibition by law, so why must we destroy our own humanity?