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Chat record between a hacker and a computer idiot

Hacker: I controlled your computer

Xiaobai: How?

Hacker: Use Trojan

Xiaobai: ...where? Why can't I see it?

Hacker: Open your task manager

Novice: There is nothing in "My Computer"

Hacker: Forget it, pretend I have nothing Have done it

Hacker: I have taken control of your computer

Xiaobai: Oh

Hacker: Are you scared? ! Hehehe

Xiaobai: You came just in time, please help me kill the virus. My computer has been having a lot of problems recently

Hacker:...

Xiaobai: You Why do you keep jumping in and out of my computer at will?

Hacker: You can install a firewall

Xiaobai: If you install a firewall, will you not be able to enter?

Hacker: No, I just want to add some fun. Controlling your computer like this makes me feel like it’s a waste.

Xiaobai: I heard that you can create "viruses"?

Hacker: Yeah

Xiaobai: Can you control other people’s computers? !

Hacker: Generally yes

Xiaobai: Can you hack those websites?

Hacker: Of course, haven’t you heard people call me a “hacker”?

Xiaobai: ...Oh, I thought it was because you were so arrogant...

“硄!”

Hacker: Here I go again Got it! !

Xiaobai: Don’t you find it annoying coming in every day?

Hacker: It’s very annoying. Your computer is the worst I’ve ever seen

Xiaobai: No, this is a famous brand

Hacker: I mean, apart from mentally retarded games, there are only viruses in your machine

Xiaobai: Oh, then have you seen my "Lianliankan"? I don’t remember where it is installed, I’ve been looking for it for a long time.

Hacker: ...Goodbye

Hacker: Hi! I'm here

Xiaobai: I haven't seen you for several days. Are you blocked by my firewall?

Hacker: Haha, it’s a joke. It’s easier to get on your machine than mine. Don’t you miss me?

Xiaobai: I want to ask you for a favor

Hacker: What is it?

Xiaobai: Can you enter the power system and modify some data?

Hacker: ...What do you want to do! !

Xiaobai: Please, help me pay my electricity bill this month...

Hacker: Go to hell! !

Hacker: Where did you die? ! !

Xiaobai: ...You have been out for a few days, what are you doing with me?

Hacker: I’m looking for something

Xiaobai: What are you looking for here?

Hacker: For viruses, look for an old virus from a few years ago. Only your machine has the most complete viruses!

Hacker: Here I come! !

Xiaobai:...

Hacker: Why don't you speak?

Xiaobai: In a bad mood

Hacker: Who bullied you?

Xiaobai: I lost one of my QR codes, which contains my first online love

Hacker: This is simple, I will get it back for you

Xiaobai: I can’t get it back

Hacker: Impossible, tell me, what’s the number?

Xiaobai: Oh... I just don’t remember.

Xiaobai: Come out! ! ! !

Hacker: What’s wrong? !

Xiaobai: Did you use my ID to play in the forum? ! !

Hacker:. . . .

Sorry, I forgot to tell you, but I didn’t do anything bad, I just made up a post. I promise I won’t play it again next time

Xiaobai: That won’t work! ! !

Hacker: What else do you want?

Xiaobai: Your post made me blush. It’s my first time to blush. I’m so happy. You must make up another one for me.

Hacker: Fuck!

Hacker: Hey, I did something very interesting just now

Xiaobai: What happened

Hacker: I went to the forum to upvote the post< /p>

Xiaobai: This is very common

Hacker: I immediately upvoted the post and called the poster a pig, which relieved my anger

Xiaobai: Wow, that’s too much It’s so fun, but I would never dare to do it, I would be banned!

Hacker: Yes, it has been blocked.

Xiaobai: Is this interesting? !

Hacker: Yes, because I used your ID

Xiaobai: Are you an expert?

Hacker: You can say so.

Xiaobai: How high is it?

Hacker: Well, I hack myself when I’m bored.

Xiaobai: Ha, I can do this too!

Hacker: #￥%! So can you? !

Xiaobai: Yes, it goes black as soon as I turn off the phone. . . . .

Hacker: Get away...!

Bai: Xiaohei, come out quickly, my password has been stolen, 555~~~~

Hacker: No problem, I will get it back for you... ...(Ten minutes later) No, I have no problem logging in with your number...

Xiaobai: Then why can’t I log in?

Hacker: Let me see...Sister, you seem to have opened M! s! n's login box...

Xiaobai: Oh, it turns out that these two are not interchangeable...

Hacker: Just... ....

Xiao Bai: Xiao Hei, come out quickly!!!

Xiao Hei: What's going on? I haven't woken up yet!

Xiaobai: Why can’t I enter my password?

Xiaohei: What did you use to lose it?

Xiaobai: Of course it’s the keypad, idiot! < /p>

Xiao Hei:......How can you type in if your keypad is not open?

Xiao Bai: Please open it for me!! !

Xiao Hei:........................ (vomiting blood)

Xiaobai: Xiaohei, please tell me what Google is?

Hacker: It’s a search engine, so you can find things quickly!

Xiaobai: Well, let me try, < /p>

Hacker: Have you tried it?

Xiaobai: I have tried it. I found Google instantly using Baidu.

Hacker: Can you throw stones at me? For a moment

Xiaobai: Shall we meet?

Hacker:... This is not good, why do we need to meet

Xiaobai: I want to see if you think the same as me

Hacker: Oh, what do you think?

Xiaobai: Very handsome, wearing tights, It's amazing, you can go anywhere and maintain world peace everywhere

Hacker:... You're talking about Spider-Man, boss!

Hacker: Ha Here~~~

Xiaobai: You come here every day, are you curious about me?

Hacker: It’s not curiosity, it’s habit, so I came in easily

< p>Xiaobai: Humph, I have a good way to change your habit

Hacker:... Oh?! What method

Xiaobai: I went to the telecommunications bureau to change the bandwidth to 1K so that you can’t squeeze in because it’s too narrow, haha~~

Hacker: What a genius!......Then you Can I still access the Internet?

Xiaobai: Yes, take your time!

Xiaobai: I learned some computer knowledge today. It’s very powerful

Hacker: Tell me.

Xiaobai: You can make everything invisible on the computer at once.

Hacker: Dizzy! How is that possible? I have never heard of it.

Xiaobai: Turn off the monitor and there will be nothing, haha, smart~

Hacker: ``````````Go to hell~

Hacker: Why are there so many things on your desktop?

Xiaobai: It’s easy to find.

Hacker: Why do you put DVD movies on the desktop?

p>

Xiao Bai: I love watching that movie, it’s so touching.

Hacker: `````````````

Xiao Bai :Xiao Hei, let me ask you, why does the lower right corner of the computer keep prompting "Insufficient space in C drive to release ```````"

Hacker: Damn!

Hacker: Hello!

Hacker: Hello! Xiaobai~

Hacker: Why are you ignoring me?

Xiaobai: I am crying.

Hacker: Ah? What's wrong? Who bullied you?

Xiaobai: No, no one bullied me

Hacker: Why are you crying?

Xiaobai Bai: Look at Crayon Shin-chan, Shin-chan is lost~He is so pitiful~555555~

Hacker:-_-|||, then keep crying!!!

Little Bai: I want to install anti-virus software

>

Hacker: Well, okay, your computer needs an antivirus.

Xiaobai: I want to install a famous brand, preferably SONY, or BMW.

Hacker: Are adidas good?

Xiaobai: OK, help me install it.

Hacker: Damn! I have something to do!

Xiaobai: Xiaohei, what if I want to delete unused things on my computer but can’t delete them?

Hacker: You can press F8 when starting the computer to enter "Security with Commands" Mode"->"Path"->DEL the file name, OK~

Xiaobai: I want to delete the windows in the C drive

Hacker: That is System folder

Xiaobai: But I have never used it.

Hacker: I shouldn’t discuss this issue with you! Damn~

Xiaobai: Do you really think I’m an idiot?

Hacker: That’s right.

Xiaobai: My netizens say I’m very smart

Hacker: What did they say?

Xiaobai: I won’t tell you*_*

Hacker: You must have sent them the photo of PLMM again, right?

p>

Xiaobai: How do you know?~~~~

Hacker: Damn!!

Xiaobai: Xiaohei? You have some interesting things during your summer vacation. ?

Hacker: Yes, why are you asking this all of a sudden?

Xiaobai: Then you can send it to me with more details...

Hacker: Oh, then Wait...

(After 15 minutes)

Hacker: No, why do you want me to send it to you?

Xiaobai: Teacher I want it I handed in my summer homework and wrote down 10 interesting things about my summer vacation...

Hacker: Damn it!!

Hacker: We have known each other for a while, right?

< p>Xiaobai: Yeah

Hacker: Do you think I treat you well?

Xiaobai: Not bad..

Hacker: Hehe ( Shy)

Xiaobai: What are you doing? Want to borrow money?

Hacker: ````````````

Xiaobai: I still owe the squad leader 5 yuan for my money!

Hacker: ```````````` Pretend I didn't ask anything..

Xiaobai: Come out! Ask you! ·

Hacker: What?

Xiaobai: Do you know how to steal?

Hacker: Nonsense!

p>

Xiaobai: Then help me steal the number...

Hacker: Tell me the number...

Xiaobai: 10000

Hacker:!·#￥%……—*

Hacker: I’m here again..

Xiaobai: I’m here just in time, I have something to ask you..

< p>Hacker: What's the matter? Don't you want me to help you change the water bill this time!

Xiaobai: Can you crack the password?

Hacker: Nonsense, I It's a hacker...

Xiaobai: Help me decipher the Da Vinci Code!

Hacker: Go to hell, idiot movie See too much......

Xiaobai: Do you find it interesting to enter my computer every day?

Hacker: It's interesting!

Xiaobai: What's the point?

Hacker: I'm studying why your computer, which is full of viruses, doesn't crash...

Xiaobai: I know!

p>

Hacker:.........#￥%!Why?

Xiaobai: This is called fighting fire with poison!

Xiaobai: I want to control you too Computer

Hacker: That won’t work, I’ll go crazy if someone else gets into my computer

Xiaobai: That’s not fair!!

Hacker: Well, okay , then you have it under control

Xiaobai:... But I don't know how to...

Hacker: Gaga~~~So I just agree!!!

Hacker: Here I go again

Xiaobai: This may be the last time we meet

Hacker: Oh? What happened?

Xiaobai: I want to reinstall the system, anti-virus, and install a firewall to prevent you from coming in!

Hacker: So you are You hate me so much...Okay, I won't come here anymore, bye.

Xiaobai: Um...Hey, wait a minute! !Teach me first what reinstalling the system is!

Hacker:........................

Newbie: Computer Can you answer these questions?

Hacker: It should be possible

Novice: Which key on the keyboard is the most handsome?

Hacker: ..... .........I don’t know

Xiaobai: Of course it is "F4"!!

Hacker: Fainted!

Xiaobai: Let me ask you another computer question, can you answer it?

Hacker: As long as it’s not your idiot question

Xiaobai: I’m serious!! Can you operate my computer? ?

Hacker: Well, yes

Xiaobai: Then if something goes wrong, you can solve it too

Hacker: Your problem shouldn’t be difficult

Xiaobai: Great, my fan doesn’t seem to be spinning, please help me replace it

Hacker:... I’m leaving first

p>

Xiaobai: My computer is really broken this time

Hacker:............ Just checked, your computer is fine

Xiaobai: That’s why you bully me

Hacker: No

Xiaobai: You do! None of the MP3 files sent to me have images!

< p>Hacker: Help~~~~~~~

Hacker: Here I come~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hacker: Huh? People Na?

Hacker: Not here yet? Isn’t this a waste of electricity?

Hacker: Oh my God, where are you? Come out quickly, don’t scare me~~~~ < /p>

Hacker: Not here yet? I copied the files on your computer to one disk and pasted them to another disk a hundred times, a hundred times~!~

Hacker: Not here yet?

Xiaobai: Haha, I have been here, but my keyboard just broke. It took me a long time to find out that the socket fell off..

Xiaobai :Ask you a question

Hacker: Say

Xiaobai: In addition to mine, can you also control other people's computers?

Hacker: Yes, some can ........

Newbie: Is it okay even if there is no Internet connection?

Hacker:............

p>

Xiaobai: Can you remotely control other people’s machines?

Hacker:............

Xiaobai: You can still steal top-secret files!!!

Hacker: I think you have watched too many movies, go and take a shower

Hacker: It’s so late, Why aren't you offline yet?

Xiaobai: Oh, it's time to go offline. I'll unplug the power supply

Hacker: Wait! You can't shut down?

Xiaobai Bai: Yes, I just clicked Shutdown and it stopped moving. You can only press Power

Hacker: You modify the registry: Open HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESOFTWAREMicrosoftWindowsNTCurrentVersionWinlogon, right-click on the Winlogon item and select "New"→" String value", enter "PowerdownAfterShutdown", then double-click to edit the value to 1, and it will automatically shut down in the future..

Xiaobai:............I still press Power Bar

Xiaobai: I finally saw you, and I have a good news for you..

Hacker: Ahem, I also want to tell you a bad news..

Xiaobai: Ah, what bad news, tell me quickly

Hacker: I am poisoned..

Xiaobai: Wahaha, my God, Xiaohei, You will also have this day...

Hacker: I got the flu virus~!~

Xiaobai:--!

Xiaobai: Xiaohei, would you like to video chat with you?

Xiaohei: Yes, okay

(10 minutes have passed...)

Xiaohei :What are you doing? Why haven't you posted it?

Xiaobai: What are you posting?

Xiaohei: Video!

Xiaobai: How to post it?

Xiao Hei:············

Hacker: Just now you said you wanted to tell me some good news, what was it?

Xiaobai: Hoho, a boy used my computer today...

Hacker: KB, anyone else dares to use your computer?

Xiaobai: Yes. , I was so frightened after opening it that I felt embarrassed, so I went out... When I came back an hour later, I saw him sitting proudly on the chair and smiling...

Hacker: I know how. What's going on? Did he tidy up your computer?

Xiaobai: Yes, how did you know?

Hacker: Oh, I've long been used to it. After all the twists and turns, I felt relaxed all the way here today. I thought I had entered the wrong computer...

Xiaobai: ---!

Hacker: However, It really took me a lot of effort...

Xiaobai: But do you know what I said to him later?

Hacker: What did I say?

Xiaobai: I told him to make my computer exactly the same as before...

Hacker: ◎o◎

Xiaobai: Then he stared. After watching it for a long time, I rushed out*_*

Xiaobai: Don’t call me a newbie anymore!

Hacker: What? Did you drink melatonin? < /p>

Xiaobai: Hum, actually I am very smart, today I invented a new way to save power

Hacker: Oh, tell me

Xiaobai: I researched and found that the fan in this case is of no use. It spins so fast and consumes too much power. I am going to dismantle it.

Hacker: hoho~~~ You are a genius. If If you turn on the power switch at home, it will save more electricity!!

Xiaobai: .......You seem to be with me?!

Hacker: It doesn’t seem like it , yes!

Xiaobai called the hacker: Are you really good?

Hacker: So-so

Xiaobai: Bragging! You have the ability You shut down the Trojan horse in my machine...

Hacker: How difficult is this! Just wait

Hacker: Haha, done, you regret it

Xiaobai: Hehe, thank you~~~~I was playing outside, I just wanted you to help me shut down my phone...

Hacker: Dizzy~~~~

Hacker: What are you playing?

Xiaobai: Cleaning the computer

Hacker: You?!

Xiaobai: Yes, you said There are a lot of viruses here, so I’m going to delete all the files I don’t recognize and that I don’t like.

Hacker: Stop! You only recognize a few files? You don’t want your machine anymore?

Xiaobai: Then what should I do now?

Hacker: Stop trying, just go and have some fun

Hacker: HI, Xiaobai, you haven’t seen me in this time Did you miss me?

Xiaobai: I didn’t miss you, but you came just in time..

Hacker: What happened again?

Xiaobai Bai: I use Donkey to download movies, but the hard disk space is not enough. Can you think of a way?

Hacker: Let me take a look~!~

Hacker: Xiaobai, tell me I have unfortunate news for you. Because there are too many viruses in your computer, the viruses have given birth to many children, and they are all fighting for territory...

Xiaobai: Ah~!~ Oh my God!

Hacker: I am still listening to the viruses whispering about how the price of space has risen again. Many viruses can no longer afford space and are preparing to launch riots..

Xiaobai: Then What should I do?

Hacker: This is simple, lower the space price and buy a hard drive~!~

Xiaobai: 555555 I forgot my password again

< p>Hacker: If you have a bad memory, just write the password on paper

Xiaobai: It’s too long and too long

It’s so complicated that copying it once can tire you to death

Hacker: With your intelligence, why would you set such a long password?

Xiaobai: I think it can only be done if it’s so complicated that you can’t even remember it. Prevent others from deciphering

Hacker: It turns out that the only purpose of your password is to make it difficult for yourself...

Hacker: The World Cup is about to begin, it’s a men’s day! < /p>

Xiaobai: Not only men, I like them too~~

Hacker: You?! Can you understand football?

Xiaobai: Yes, every day I will get up to watch every World Cup

Hacker: Ha, great, we can finally speak the same language. Which team do you like

Xiaobai : Of course it’s the Chinese team!!

Hacker: No words. ． ． ． ． ．

Xiaobai: Come out~

Hacker: What happened?

Xiaobai: Can the movie be copied?

Hacker: Yes Ah

Xiaobai: Why can’t my movie be copied?

Hacker: What did you use to copy?

Xiaobai: Idiot, of course it’s a floppy disk!

Hacker: @#＄%^^%?

Xiaobai: Xiaohei, are you here?

Hongke: I am Hongke, tracking A hacker came here~

Hacker: Are you talking about me?^-^

Hongke: --|||Why are there so many viruses in his machine? Did you do this?!

Hacker:==|||Somewhat, it was the same before I came here as it is now~ If you don’t believe me, ask yourself

Xiaobai: No way. !

Xiao Hei: .......

Xiao Bai: My fan stopped spinning after he came, I was depressed!

Hacker:........................

Honker:........................ .........

Hongke: Don't be afraid, I will help you kill the virus!

Hacker: 8 wants it~my virus database~~~

Xiaobai: OK, I have been wanting to kill viruses for a long time~! ^V^

Hacker: 55555555~

Hongke: You will wait a moment

p>

Ten minutes have passed

Hongke: Depressed ~ I have never seen so many viruses@_@

Xiaobai: ......... .......

Hacker: 55555555

Hongke: Wow~! What era is this virus~?!

Xiaobai: ............

Hacker: Ha

Honker: help~!!! My computer is infected by your virus @.@

Xiaobai:=_=|||

Hacker: The descendants of the old virus have come to take revenge, haha^-^

Another ten minutes

Hongke: *_*The latest hardware and software firewalls cannot protect against it, 555555~I quit -_-# is gone!

Hacker: Haha, it turns out that My virus database is invincible, hahahaha~!!!

Xiaobai: Xiaohong, don’t be discouraged, come back to play when you have time^=^

Hacker: Haha, you are welcome to come back for anti-virus when you are free, please leave as soon as possible (^*^)

Hongke:@#＄%^&*+?=

Xiaobai: Are you there? ?

Hacker: .....Hmm

Xiaobai: My computer is broken, what should I do?

Hacker: No, I just checked, it’s fine

Xiaobai: Then why did the numbers I entered turn into stars?

Hacker:………… …………

Hacker: Today a guy asked me a stupid question, which made me laugh to death

Xiaobai: Oh? What’s the question

< p>Hacker: He asked if the USB flash drive can be upgraded?

Xiaobai: Why, can't it?

Hacker: ...Oh, sorry, I forgot It’s you who I’m facing

Xiaobai: Depressed, depressed...

Hacker: What happened?

Xiaobai: I'm very sad, Pluto has been expelled from the nine planets

Hacker: ..... What does it have to do with you?

Xiaobai: I think it would be further to go once.

Hacker: Go to Mars, that’s what suits you!

Hacker: Yesterday, a headhunting company came to me and said that a company wanted to sign a contract with me. The monthly salary is 8,000, plus bonuses. Do you think it is tempting?

Xiaobai: If they are willing to sign me, I will go now. Check in

Hacker: What can you do?

Xiaobai: Well, if you don’t do the menial work and the technical work, you can’t do the technical work. Management, I can try to do management. A vice president or something, as long as you can give me a monthly salary of 8,000

Hacker: Do you think there is such a stupid company?

Xiaobai: Ask me, maybe someone else They have been looking for talents like me to be the vice president, things are unpredictable

Hacker: OK, I will recommend it to my enemies tomorrow!

Hacker: My enemies are looking for me

Xiaobai: Ah, then run away quickly...

Hacker: Where to run?

Xiaobai: Go to a deep cliff, below There are martial arts secrets, you practice for ten or eight years and then fly up to take revenge...

Hacker: Damn it!

Xiaobai: I helped my classmate fix his computer today

< p>Hacker: Just you?

Xiaobai: Yes...

Hacker: What a miracle, you can actually repair computers

Xiaobai: What's so strange, her optical drive can't read movie discs...

Hacker: Did she put the DVD movie into the VCD drive, but then it couldn't be played?

Xiaobai: That's right. , so I knew that her optical drive must be broken, and asked her to buy a VCD optical drive tomorrow...

Hacker:········

Xiaobai: I think Buy a laptop

Hacker: Soft side or hard side?

Xiaobai: Fainted, it’s a laptop!

Hacker: Which one should you buy? What are you doing?

Xiaobai: To play games and surf the Internet, the key is to be beautiful, light and easy to take out. The most important thing is to look better than the one next door. Which one do you think I should buy? What?

Hacker: Such a high requirement, "Wenquxing" is the best for you!

Xiaobai: Can you do me a favor?

< p>Hacker: As long as it's on the Internet, say it!!!

Xiaobai: I'm playing - Go Kart Racing... You help me steal a car with 8 exhaust pipes!

Hacker: That is only available in Korean servers!

Xiaobai: I don’t care!!! You stole it from Korea! I want to use it in China! Then I Isn’t that awesome! Haha~~~!

Hacker:……………………I have something else to do, I’ll leave first!

Xiaobai: You know how to play Audition?

Hacker: Yes! Why?

Xiaobai: Get me a Tom Cruise! I love him so much! Let him accompany me Dance!:)

Hacker: 88

Hacker: I want to ask you a question

Xiaobai: Ask it

Hacker: .............Do you have a boyfriend?

Xiaobai: Yes!

Hacker: .............He What kind of person are you?

Xiaobai: Tall, handsome, mighty, runs a big company, treats me very well...

Hacker: Oh, I have something to do and I have to leave first. ......

Xiaobai: Hey~hey~~~~~

Xiaobai: Hey, why haven’t I seen you for a long time? You were caught?!

Hacker:..........No, I'm quite busy. Are you okay?

Xiaobai: Okay, I'm quite busy too. I'll I finished the level in Lianliankan!!

Hacker: ....................... Are you and your boyfriend okay?

Xiaobai: Boyfriend? What boyfriend? < /p>

Hacker: Don’t you have a tall, handsome and powerful boyfriend?!

Xiaobai: Oh~~~~ I just made it up, I’m afraid you might look down on me...

.....

Hacker:......You, this super idiot!!!

Hacker:......... ...I like you

Xiaobai: Virus?

Hacker: What virus? I mean, unfortunately, I found that I like you very much

Xiaobai: You fooled me again, you always call me an idiot

Hacker: Yes, you are a big idiot, but in order to maintain world peace, I decided to sacrifice myself to prevent you from harming others.. < /p>

Xiaobai:............

Xiaobai: Do you really like me

Hacker:.......Hmm

Xiaobai: How much do you like it?

Hacker: It's just that my heart hurts when I don't see you, but when I see you, my head feels very heavy. It hurts

Xiaobai: Oh, I understand

Hacker:? What do you understand?

Xiaobai: So you treat me like a person with cavities The child faces chocolate!

Hacker: You can buy this notebook

Novice: Oh, is this good?

Hacker: The configuration is good, and the brand is the same The after-sales service is good

Xiaobai: It doesn’t matter, what’s important is what color they are available in?

Hacker:............Only black

Xiaobai: Ah?! Don’t these merchants consider consumer psychology and add some color or make it look like a hamburger?

Hacker: Well, why don’t you go to the toy counter first? !

One day, a stranger joined the hacker group.

Stranger: Hello

Hacker: Don’t bother anyone else

Stranger :I am a beauty! Don’t be so rude to beautiful women

Hacker: Unfortunately, I already have someone I like

Stranger: I am 100 times more beautiful than the person you like

p>

Hacker: But she is the most beautiful in my mind

Stranger: So disgusting

Hacker: I won’t accompany you

Stranger: Hello ....

....

Hacker (Anshuang): Xiaobai, Xiaobai, you haven’t even changed your IP and you still want to test me?