At the end of the year, do you have any jokes in the closet to share with you?

The boss said: whoever dares to challenge the crocodile pond will be rewarded with 6.5438+0 million alive, and will be subsidized with 5 million dead.

Nobody dares to jump.

Suddenly, with a splash, a man jumped into the pool, only to find that he was quickly impressed by the crocodile and turned pale. He swam desperately to the other side and snatched 1 10,000 yuan. He was furious: Who pushed me down?

His wife smiled and said, it's me.

So, there is a sentence behind. Behind every successful man, there is always an excellent woman who will give you a push at a critical moment.

Humor joke: Under normal circumstances, the elevator is the main way for high-rise residents to go up and down the stairs every day, and the stairs have become a neglected place. The elevator in a tall building is broken. The girl who lives on the top floor came home late and looked at the long stairs. She was a little scared, so she called her mother to meet her downstairs. Soon her mother came down and went upstairs with her. Suddenly, the girl's phone rang, and her mother asked him where his daughter and mother were.

Humorous joke: A buddy quarrels with his wife, and her wife is going back to her parents' house with luggage! The elder brothers are anxious, pointing to the light bulb and swearing: If you get angry again, I will go out when the light goes out! Suddenly the light went out, and my pants were wet! Thought, not so accurate? Suddenly the light came on again! I turned my head and saw my son standing by the switch: "Dad, is it exciting?"

Humorous joke: Mom is not very satisfied with the girlfriend brought back by her son, complaining: "That girl is too thin, as thin as a monkey …" The son is unhappy: "She is a little thin, but she can't be said to be a monkey, but at most she is a beautiful thin swan." Mother patted her thigh and said, "Then you can't marry her. If she is a swan, you are not a toad. " (Laughing every day: Mom is dissatisfied with my girlfriend, saying that she is as thin as a monkey, and the result is ...)

Humorous joke: I often fantasize that I am taken away by the bad guys and locked in the basement. Give me some vegetables and leaves to eat every day, so that I can keep running and do push-ups, ready to viciously kill myself for a month. Twenty-nine days later, I caught the bad guys and destroyed the organization. I was saved with a weight of 88 kg, and I was paid10 million mental damage compensation, so I became thinner and richer.

Humorous joke: I cut my hair all day and met my friend downstairs. The friend said, "Hey, young man, I am very energetic today." I smiled and said, "No, I just had a cool haircut!" " As soon as the voice fell, a girl on the second floor leaned out and shouted at me, "Somebody pick out the pants and see if it's the one I lost."

Humorous joke: the company recruits the general secret, the colleague is responsible for the initial test, and I am responsible for the second test. A beautiful woman knows nothing, but her colleagues let her enter the second interview. The initial comment was "Don't get me wrong, buddy, I just want you to see the best beauty, so you can stop her and stop taking advantage of the boss". I was in tears. This is the real brother. Later, my colleague sent a text message to the girl, "I really want to recruit you. The examiner for the second interview is too cheap." Later, they got together. ...

Humorous joke: the female secretary has a sore throat. I took her to the hospital. After her throat healed, she said ... the medicine you gave me last time was very effective, and I took it right away. I said: Of course it works. Very precious. She: Is it that expensive? how much is it? I deliberately teased her and said, of course, I was afraid that you would get married. She screamed, impossible! Hundreds?

Humorous joke: I bought a sweeping robot for my mother and one day it disappeared. I can't find the corner of my house, so my mother is anxious to adjust the monitoring. In the lens, a sweeping robot in MengMeng gets on the elevator, arrives at the parking garage and sweeps the floor silently. My mother was shocked and said, this child is smarter than when you were a child! ! I ...

Humor joke: The year before last, my relatives introduced me to a girlfriend and asked me to meet the next day. We all felt good when we met the next day. I let her walk in the street. When I left, my relatives pulled me aside and said, don't buy shoes and umbrellas for women when shopping. It rained soon after we got to the street. I took her to a gazebo to shelter from the rain, and the atmosphere became more and more ambiguous. At this time, another couple came to shelter from the rain. The man looked at me, and I looked at him and smiled at each other. ...

Let me answer a question:

In ancient times, there was a businessman who bought a batch of oranges, sesame seeds, wheat and dried tangerine peel and prepared to go back to the city to sell them. On the way to the middle of the river, the boatman broke his paddle. At this time, the boatman asked the businessman if there were any goods that could replace the paddles. Businessman replied: I don't know if I should use orange hemp bran as pulp.

The superior inspected and wanted to have dinner with the villagers. The villagers said, "You're welcome. You can use it first. I'm not busy. At this time of day, I have to feed the dog before I can eat. I am used to it. " The superior is short of breath: "Can you talk?" The herder is sad: "I am used to talking to animals and I don't know how to talk to people."

I was on a business trip with my superiors once. High-speed railway station met an international student from Africa and asked his superiors, "How can I get to the airport?" My supervisor held back for a long time, gave me an awkward look and said, "My English is not very good ..." I was stunned at that time and said weakly, "Boss, you were asked by people from China!"

As soon as David's portrait was finished, local nobles came to visit, and their superiors expressed their views: "The nose is too big."

So Michelangelo climbed to the head of the sculpture, pretended, and knocked on it with a chisel several times, but it was not there at all. Then he threw a handful of marble ash at the team leader.

After eating the ash, the superior nodded and said, "Yes, it looks much better this time."

Spend the weekend at home with my girlfriend. They are sitting on the sofa watching TV. At this time, my girlfriend said she was thirsty and asked me to get a glass of water. When I poured it, I put it to her mouth. She took a sip gently, without looking at me, and said, "It's too hot, go and help me add some cold water." I picked up the cup and went into the kitchen. After a while, I brought it to her mouth. She said, "Just right." I am very angry. "I knew you were full of nonsense. I just didn't add anything! " Don't say that. I'm still kneeling.

Sacrifice to god first.

I just saw it today, but I glanced at it inadvertently, and suddenly I was amazed. The jokes you hear all year round are not worth mentioning.

It is often said that the best comedy contains the greatest tragedy. This picture perfectly confirms this.

When people reach middle age, drinking alone will make them lonely. Isn't it a little broad-minded to have a good hand? He beat his left hand with his right hand and shook his head and laughed at himself for his own sake. How delightful and helpless it is. ...

Thousands of years ago, a fallen fairy brought me my shadow, so that the three of us, plus this person, five people could have a private room to drink without worrying about tomorrow.

Last Spring Festival, I went to my grandmother's house to pay a New Year call. Then I went to sit with my neighbors.

Went to the neighbor's house, only one grandmother was at home. That was the first time I went to her house.

Asked me how old I was, I said 20, and then grandma said, it doesn't look like it either. I thought it was 15/6 years old. I am so happy. Then grandma added, alas, it seems that she is not tall.