Classic English humorous jokes

Classic English humorous jokes 1:

On Christmas Eve, the judge was in a good mood when interrogating the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" He asked. "Buy Christmas presents in advance," the defendant replied. "It's not illegal," replied the judge. "How early did you shop?" "Before the store opens," the prisoner retorted.

Classic English humorous jokes 2:

Three competing shopkeepers rented adjacent shops in a shopping mall. Observers waited for chaos to follow. The retailer on the right put up a huge sign that said, "Great sale!" " And "super bargain!" The store on the left put up a bigger sign, announcing "great sale!" And "amazing discount!" The shopkeeper in the middle then prepared a big sign that simply said, "Entrance".

Classic English humor joke 3:

What's your name? A very strict officer is talking to some recruits he must train. He had never seen them before, so he began to say, "My name is Stone, and I am harder than Stone, so do as I say, or you will be in trouble.". Don't play games with me, we will get along well. "Then he asked each soldier's name one by one. Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly, he said. Don't forget to call me' sir'. Every soldier told him his name until he came to the last one. The man kept silent, so Captain Si Tong shouted to him, "When I ask you a question, answer me!"! I ask you again: What's your name, soldier? " The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied. "My name is Stone Hammer, sir," he said nervously.

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