Funny sentences about dogs

I heard that the world is a big place and you want to go out and see it. However, have you understood the little world of your dog? Their world is quite rich. I have compiled information about funny sentences to help you get closer to your dog.

1. Dad: Why did you bite your best friend? Son: Because he bit me first! Dad: Can’t you be more generous and forgive him? Son: It’s not a gentleman to retaliate against a grudge! Dad : But he is a dog! Son: I just want to compete with animals!

2. The guests come to the shop to dine. When the food was served, it felt like it had been tampered with, but upon careful inspection, nothing was found. Throughout the meal, I felt like a pair of eyes were peering at me. Finally, I found a little yellow dog staring at me in a corner. The customer called the boss and asked why the dog kept looking at him. Boss: Sorry, I don’t know much about this either. But there is a possibility! The customer quickly asked. Boss: It was because someone took away its half-eaten food!

3. The dog accompanied its mistress to the hospital and witnessed the entire painful process of her giving birth. After returning home, the dog sighed to the pig and said: "Hey, humans are not as good as chickens!" The pig asked: "How do you say this?" The pig said: "Look, a chicken lays an egg and poops. It is as simple as laying a chicken. It takes 21 days to hatch a chick. The time is short, and you are not punished. It takes a long time for a person to have a baby, and it is really painful to have a knife in the stomach when giving birth." The pig said: "It is true that humans are inferior to chickens, and we are inferior to chickens. Let's go together in the next life. Become a chicken!"

4. The chicken saw that the puppy looked for a tree every time he peeed, and then raised his hind legs, and asked in confusion: "Are you shy?" The puppy said: "We are all good people, we don't defecate in the open, and we pay attention to low carbon and environmental protection. We water trees by the way. How about we be friends of mankind?" The chicken asked again: "Then why do you still sprinkle it on the telephone poles sometimes? "The puppy said embarrassedly: "I can't find a tree. How can a living dog suffocate to death?"

5. The pet dog has been listless and listless these days. The kitten asked with concern: "What's wrong? Why haven't you seen the mistress hug you these days?" The puppy sighed and said aggrievedly: "I got into trouble and hurt the mistress, but I really didn't mean it!" What's going on?" the cat asked curiously. "When the man is not at home, the mistress always likes to take off her pants and put a ham between her legs, and then let me eat it slowly. That day I saw the man also put a ham between his legs, and I I bit it in one bite! The result..." The cat asked eagerly: "What happened?" "That's not ham!"

6. After lunch, I took the puppy in the park. We were walking around and met several puppies. The puppies were very lively together, playing and chasing each other. It was so fun. At this time, a comrade was also walking. Seeing this lively scene, he sighed with emotion: "You are just puppies having a meeting!" As a result, a woman said: "Yes, we are waiting for the leader to speak!" The comrade laughed and said: "You What you said is really good!"

7. Teacher: Xiaofan, use "cute" to make a sentence! Xiaofan: Okay, mom has a cute dog, and she hugs the dog to sleep every day! Teacher: That dog Are dogs so cute? Xiaofan: Of course, my mother loves to drool when she sleeps, and the dog licks her clean! Teacher: .....

8. I went to my best friend’s house, The puppy she raised immediately came over and kissed me on the face! I quickly pushed it away! The girl said: It kissed you because it liked you! I said: I don’t mind being kissed by a dog, even if it has eaten shit before. I don’t mind, I’m afraid it has kissed you before! Girl: ....

9. A dog was bitten by a snake. The dog was very angry and wanted to catch the snake for revenge all day long. One day, the dog saw a discarded condom thrown in the grass. He thought it was the skin of a snake. The dog stepped on it and said viciously: "Take off your clothes here. Home must not be far away! You run." The monk can't escape from the temple!"

10. Yang Jian met a dog on the road, so he adopted it. After adopting the dog, Yang Jian named the dog Xiaotian Dog. It means filial piety to God. But when the Jade Emperor heard that Yang Jian adopted a dog and named it, he killed the dog and Yang Jian.

When the officials asked the reason, the Jade Emperor said angrily: Humph, the laughing dog dares to laugh at heaven, what a rebellion!

11. In class, the kindergarten teacher took out a painting. On the picture, a man A woman is playing happily with a pet dog. The teacher's intention is to let the children look at the pictures and talk, and understand that dogs are human beings' good friends and we must love animals. Teacher: "Xiao Ming, what do you see in this painting?" Xiao Ming: "I see a dog, a man, and a woman."

12. Two dogs are discussing things. Bitch: You go guard the back door. Male dog; why? Female dog: Because today is the weekend and there are many people using the back door. Male dog: You mean no one is allowed to go through the back door? Female dog: Yes! Male dog: You are stupid, the master has no money to make money, can we have a good life?

13. Wang Qian’s family yard He raised a dog and loved it very much. He even built a special dog house! Wu Dalang came to visit him. The dog was quite enthusiastic when he saw him, but as soon as he got close to its dog house, the dog showed its fierce look! Wu Dalang asked: Wang Ganniang, what’s wrong with this dog? , you are so familiar with me and you are still mean to me? Wang Ganniang looked at his figure and said: He doesn’t know how to do it to others, but you, he is really afraid that you will steal his house!

14. The dog takes a nap in the shade of a tree in the afternoon , a fly buzzed around, and the dog was so upset that he wanted to swat it to death. The fly flew high and said provocatively: "We are all shit eaters, why bother killing each other!" The dog said angrily: "No wonder you haven't evolved over the years. I even eat better than people now!" Then what can you do to me if you don't have wings?" "If I have wings, I will be a tengu! Do you think if you have wings, you will be an angel? You are not even a bird, you just lick shit!" the dog said disdainfully.

15. A colleague of mine is a pet lover and especially likes to raise dogs. Today a female colleague asked him: Why doesn’t my dog ??listen to me? But it listens to you so much? Colleague: Of course, as long as it is a dog, when it sees me, it will circle around me like a dog can’t change its habit of eating shit...Female Colleague: Oh! You are so disgusting...

16. The dog got tired from walking with its owner and lay down to rest. The owner said, "I've been walking for so long without feeling tired, but you got tired first." The dog spoke, "I walk on two pairs of feet and have four-wheel drive. Of course, I consume more energy than you. It's normal for me to be more tired." The owner said: "Don't fool me. Then you said that a person with one leg is a wheelbarrow. Does it save him more effort?"

17. The puppy asked his mother: Who is my father? Mom: I can't remember either. clear. The puppy started crying when he heard this. The mother asked: What’s wrong with you? Do you miss your father? The puppy said: No wonder the children all called me a ***, it turns out it’s true.

18. The owner found a dead hen, so he yelled: Who is it? The dog hid in the corner and cried sadly: It was obviously you humans who did it, why did you wrong me? /p>

19. A man entered the pet store. I want a purebred dog. How about this one? Very beautiful. Seems good. How faithful? Very faithful. I have sold it four times, but it comes back every time.

20. A group of animals are chatting. Donkey: Humans are so weird. They are obviously stupid, but they insist on calling them stupid donkeys... Pig echoes: Humans are fat, but they say they are stupid pigs... ...The dog said: You are all involved, but I am different. They obviously created the child themselves, but they still want to say ***. Isn’t this a frame-up?

21. Tiger Wants He shot the wolf, but seriously injured the wild dog. Tiger felt very guilty: I'm sorry, I admitted my mistake! Wild dog: It doesn't matter, it's all my fault! Tiger: How can I say this? Wild dog: If I hadn't grown a dog's tail, you wouldn't have regarded me as a wolf with a dog's tail. Yes!

22. The host gave birth to twins and held a big feast at home to celebrate. The guard dog shook his head in disdain and was silent. A fly saw it and asked, "Why are you unhappy about such a sumptuous banquet?" The dog snorted and said, "What's the point of giving birth to twins? I'll give it a try." At least three!" The fly smiled: "That way I will be more low-key. I can give birth to hundreds or even thousands at a time. When will I celebrate! It seems that people are really hypocritical!"

23 . The wife got a dog and the husband was very angry.

Husband: You have to lose the dog! Wife: Otherwise? Husband: Then I will never go home again! Wife: Okay, dear. Husband: Have you changed your mind? Wife: I have decided to live with the dog!

Funny sentences about animals

1. The mouse and the duck met in a corner, and the duck said: " Run quickly, the mouse is crossing the street, and everyone is shouting for a beating." The mouse said: "It doesn't matter, everyone respects me, and I won't get beaten. I am Mickey Mouse." The duck sighed: "You are lucky now, but I still have to get beaten." "Knife." The mouse said: "I can only blame you for your bad luck. Who told you that you are not Donald Duck?"

2. The bee said: My house is on a tree, it has no effect on you. The hedgehog didn't buy it. He stretched his muscles and said: I am a tough guy, who am I afraid of?

3. Mosquito bet with his mobile phone to compete in martial arts. The mobile phone shook its body and said to the mosquito: "Look, little one, this is my Qigong vibrating." The mosquito secretly injected malaria parasites into the body of the mobile phone owner, and the mobile phone owner started to shake. The mosquito pretended to be doing qigong and said to the mobile phone: "Look, my qigong makes your master vibrate."

4. The whole family is very happy when the magpie gives birth to a baby. . The antelope came and knew the good news, and said: I am a fast runner, so I will tell everyone the good news. Magpie: OK, thank you. The antelope started running and shouted throughout the forest: "I'm happy to be a dad, I'm happy to be a dad."

5. The old mosquito said to the little mosquito: "Your generation is so lucky. Women nowadays wear such revealing clothes. You can have a feast at any time!" The little mosquito retorted helplessly: "What you see is just their **** appearance. In fact, their bodies and faces are covered with a lot of greasy stuff, which often blocks our throats and many brothers choke to death!!

6. Antelope: Ostrich, run quickly. Ostrich: Why? Antelope: Don’t ask, run quickly, it’s too late. The ostrich was startled and ran for dozens of miles after the antelope. The ostrich was exhausted and said, "Antelope, I'm exhausted. Stop running. I can't run anymore." Antelope: You're running too slow. The lion suddenly appeared. The antelope said "thank you" to the ostrich and ran away. Just run.

7. The ant said: I can drag objects dozens of times heavier than myself. The elephant was not to be outdone: I can carry things weighing several tons. After a while, the ant said: Come and break it. Be clever!

8. As soon as the female mosquito enters the house, she says to the male mosquito: "Honey, a certain store is having a promotion today, and they are offering gifts with purchases. "The male mosquito asked: "What kind of gift is this? I'll make you happy." The female mosquito said: "Concentrated brand toilet water." "

9. The penguin walked majestically on the road with his belly puffed out. His wife said coquettishly: Look at your character, you are proud of your beer belly, right? The penguin patted his belly. Said: Now you are OUT! The God of Gamblers said: Xiaodu Yiqing!

10. The snake said to the horse: Brother Ma, how can you covet human gifts? It is a horseshoe and a horse. Ma said: What am I doing? Pet cats and dogs are so greedy that even their underpants are made for them.

11. Taiwanese dramas are really too bitter. The mice were so miserable that they cried. Only the water snake did not cry. The mice were very angry and accused the water snake of being a cold-blooded animal. The water snake said, "I don't cry because the water is in my stomach." "A mouse said: "You are so cold-blooded, you must be drooling in your stomach!" The water snake smiled and said: "You are so smart, I want you to taste the bitter water in my stomach. "The mouse was really smart and called the police loudly: "Everyone, run, the water snake is going to eat us for lunch!"

12. When the chicken saw the duck for the first time, he thought, after spending time in the sea for a long time, he will understand. Guagua is showing off his capital. He even lays eggs and wants to sell them as jade. The duck thought when he saw the chicken for the first time, he would scare the sun away and ask his wife to take care of my child. Maybe we can get some credit and train our children to be geniuses.

13. Tiger: Comrades, there is an earthquake here. Many relatives come to rescue us, but we should also try our best to save ourselves and reduce the number of others. workload.

Gecko: I could break off my tail and eat it for a few days, and it would still grow back. Camel; I still have a lot of fat stored in my hump, which can last me a few days. Snail: I carry the house on my back every day, I’m not afraid. Snake: I can hibernate without eating or drinking, no problem. Fuyou cried: I only have one day to live, how can I wait until rescue?

14. Old Wolf: Monkey, it’s time to test your sales skills. Go and sell the banana to that bitch. Monkey: Boss, dogs don’t eat bananas either. Old Wolf: You idiot, you can use it even if you don’t eat it.

15. Rabbit: My castle needs to be expanded, so you all have to move. Without saying a word, the snail picked up the house and left.

16. Two ants were walking on the road and suddenly saw a big pear - name N countries. Compare and see who is better. One ant said: "Hey, big pear" Italy; the other ant said: "Oh, big pear" Australia, move to Spain. Hug home, Bulgaria; gnaw pears, Kenya; pears are not tender, Lebanon.

A selection of classic funny sentences

1. If the name can determine the fate, I would like to change my name to Qian Duoduo...

2. A girl’s sincerity is precious , the price is higher, if there is a rich woman in both, you can throw it away!

3. The pursuit of ideological realm beyond the material level is painful...

4 . My profundity is not a show-off, my exaggeration is a show-off.

5. I want everything but shamelessness. I'll eat anything, just don't suffer any loss.

6. Prices “must be in line with international standards” and wages “must be consistent with China’s national conditions.”

7. I want to swell my face to make myself fat, but I don’t even have the ability to swell my face...

8. Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you to the whole family, thank you Eighteen generations of ancestors.

9. Good ministers follow the right path; those who are wise can be foolish, those who are mediocre can be separated, and those who do not understand the mediocre are blind.

10. A man’s “energy” is for fighting, not for shooting!!

11. If you tell me to get out, I’ll get out. You asked me to come back, I'm sorry, get away!

12. There are two flowers that women like most in life: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

13. Human The sadness is not that you are not as good as a dog, but that you think you are much better than a dog!

14. When your pockets are full, find more girls...and indirectly give the money to the country for construction!

15 . If something becomes a habit, you will do it every day; endlessly!

16. Never believe in things that are hard and then become soft after a while!

17. There is a Enmity screams; we die together, there is a kind of love that screams; we go to hell together!