Looking for some jokes that you can tell to your classmates in class?

1. A beautiful woman raised her hand enthusiastically when the teacher asked a question, and the teacher asked her to stand up and answer the question. Halfway through her answer, she realized that her train of thought was wrong and she couldn't answer any more, so she started hesitating. At this critical moment, a note flew in front of her, and she seemed to feel that a hero finally saved her. She glanced at the note and it read: "You are dead!"

2. I took the 208 bus home today. There were many people on the bus and I saw a girl's bag covered by a wretched man. Putting his hand in, the brother impulsively went over to hug the girl, patted her bag and said: Wife, we are almost at the station. Then she winked at him. Seeing me stunned for two seconds, she said to the man: Husband... I'll go! As a couple, I got off before reaching the station.

3. I went to the barber shop today. As soon as I sat down, I didn’t say anything. An apprentice-looking man cut a deep cut from my head, and then ran out like crazy... The boss hurriedly Apology: Brother, I'm really sorry. I just scolded him today and he quit...I...

4. When the company's attendance machine presses your fingerprint after get off work, there will be a voice prompt: Sign out successfully. Then that day, the company's diaosi technician felt that the voice was too cold, so he changed it. When getting off work, everyone pressed their fingerprints and said a coquettish female voice: "Master, please go slowly, come and play early tomorrow..." 5. In the afternoon, I played with my husband on the bed, pretending to kick him out of bed. , my three-year-old daughter saw it, and she angrily told her husband, "Go away, Dad, Mom won't let you sleep in her bed, I'll take you to sleep on your aunt's bed!" ! !

6. I went to my grandma’s house for a few days last summer. One time during lunch, my grandma thought my grandpa’s food was a bit salty. The master refused to admit it and said it was just right. It happened that my grandpa coughed twice, and grandma said: "It's too salty. If you eat too much salt, you will cough." After hearing this, grandpa put down his chopsticks and said to grandma seriously: Is the sea salty? Is the sea salty? Just when my grandma and I were a little confused, my grandpa said again: Which fish in the sea is coughing!

7. Bus No. 22 does not allow passengers to bring pets and animals on the bus. An old lady took a Put the live rooster in a cloth bag and take it into the car! There could be 20 people in the car. As soon as the old lady found a seat and sat down, the rooster stuck its head out and made a crisp crowing! The driver was shocked. All the passengers in the car knew what was going on. The driver said: What? The old lady quickly put the chicken head back into the bag and said: "Cell phone ring tone!" !

8. After I got married, I found that my wife would occasionally squeeze out toothpaste for me in the morning, but the days were irregular. I decided to ask: "On what basis did you decide to squeeze out toothpaste for me?" "I sometimes If you are too crowded, you will drop it in the sink. If you feel sorry for it, just use your toothbrush to scrape it up..."

9. Yesterday, I went to the train station to pick up my cousin. The arrival meter was 16 yuan and I gave 100 yuan to the driver. The driver quickly changed the money. After taking the money, I found that the driver was always looking at me. Later, I couldn't bear it anymore. The driver asked me if I had changed the wrong money. I looked at my wallet and shook my head. At this time, the driver brother roared. Then why don't you get off the car! ! ! I wiped...forgot to get off the car...

10. The primary school student was late for school and stood at the door sobbing. The teacher asked angrily: "Why are you late?" The primary school student burst into tears: "I...I...my grandpa..." The teacher was shocked! Poor child, I comforted him and said: Don't be sad. Your grandfather's spirit in heaven doesn't want you to cry. Then the primary school student cried and continued: "My grandpa fell asleep and didn't wake me up."

11. When we were young, the teacher asked us to write a composition of no less than 300 words. One classmate's composition was like this Wrote: "On the way to school in the morning, I saw a group of sheep eating sweet potato slices dried by the farmer's uncle. They ate one slice after another, and one slice after another. Later, I counted enough for 300 words. I Drive the sheep away..."

12. Once I was sick and had an infusion. I was sitting and playing with my mobile phone. Time passed quickly. When I looked up and saw that the bottle had bottomed out, I suddenly panicked and shouted: Waiter, come on! After that, I became a celebrity in this clinic.