Who knows the lines of the sketch "Fighting Skills"?

Cross talk lines: The horse is thin and hairy but has long hooves and is fat, and the couple sleeps over the hot bed.

The old man wanted to sleep on the kang, but his wife was so angry that he refused to let him go.

The old man said I picked the firewood, and the wife said it was the kang I burned.

The old man said that he would like to sleep, but the mother-in-law said no, no, no, no.

The old man picked up the ash rake, and the wife picked up the rolling pin.

The couple played ping-pong until dawn. It was a nice hot bed, and no one fell asleep.

In the sixth year of Chenghua in the Ming Dynasty, when the Ming Dynasty was at its peak, all nations came to the court.

Outside the front gate of Beijing, on the third pillar of the Five Archway, there is an imperial list. As soon as the imperial list came out, the people nearby gathered around to watch. In less than an hour, the whole city of Beijing was alarmed. People from the four gates, three bridges, five archways, and eight-arm Nezha City came to see the excitement, no matter what it was. Five elements and eight works, native farmers, industry and commerce, Hui and Han religions, Mohists, three hundred and sixty lines, people walking in the market, officials, eunuchs, people carrying bows, carrying arrows, people pushing carts, and people carrying burdens Those who sell coal, charcoal, rice, noodles, onions, garlic, sesame cakes and fried dough sticks, tea and eggs... almost everyone in the city is shouting. People didn't know what happened to the country and why the emperor's list was posted, and they all rushed to see it.

At this time, a man came from the north. This man's name was Sun Delong. He was from Wendeng County, Dengzhou Prefecture, Shandong Province. He was a pork seller at Zhushi Street in Dongsipailou. He knew how to tie pigs. He also slaughters pigs and is in his forties. It's winter now, and he is wearing a cotton robe. It's a cotton robe, but it's all made of satin, because he sells meat, cuts meat, cuts oil, and wipes it on his body after cutting. After a while, oil accumulated on the cotton robe. When exposed to the sun, it became shiny and turned into satin. He was afraid of the cold, so he tied a rope around his waist to drink wine, so he hung a pewter hip flask on the rope. His hip flask was special. Others were round, but his was square, so it was polished. The tiles are bright. There is also a money bag tied to the rope, and under the armpit on the left is a pig hook pole. It is a white wax pole, about the thickness of a walnut, more than five feet long, with two steel hooks in the head. If the pig is It ran away, and within five feet of it, the pig could be caught back with a hook. On the other hand, there was still a ledger in the armpit. He had just returned from the meat market after settling the accounts.

He went to the market today and just came out from the liquor store after drinking. He was very drunk. He was mixing garlic under his feet in the aisle. He was mumbling and said with a Shandong accent: "This The wine is like sorghum water. When you get drunk, your legs will get drunk first. You can't see the road with your eyes. It's like seeing a ghost!" He walked to the front of the imperial list and saw that there were so many people around, and he didn't know what was inside. Wanting to take a look, he shouted: "Let's borrow some light! Let's borrow some light!" As he said this, he squeezed in. Seeing his recklessness, the people on the side immediately made way for him as soon as they smelled the smell of alcohol. Let him in.

He went inside and saw that it was Huangbang. He didn’t know the words and wanted to ask, but he didn’t ask properly. He arched his waist with his elbow and said, "What's going on? What's going on?" The man felt pain in his waist and said, "Oh! Slow down. What's wrong with you?" Sun Delong said angrily: "Huang Bang!" "What is the emperor's list?" That person said: "The one posted by the emperor is called the emperor's list!" Sun Delong said: "Well, you can read it to me, okay?" The person really liked to be nosy and said: " Okay, I'll read it to you, listen: "Emperor Fengtian Chengyun issued an edict: Since I moved the capital, the weather has been good, the country is peaceful and the people are safe, virtue has been admired from all directions, and all nations have come to court. I don't think so, but now the Ryukyu Kingdom has sent a Yishen Zhenren to come. Tribute, actually tribute, secretly..."

When Sun Delong heard this, he said: "Oh, don't be too busy!" He held up the man's chin.

The man turned his head and complained: "What's wrong with you? Why don't you be busy?" Sun Delong said: "What are you reading? After reading for a long time, we don't understand a word!" The man was angry Said: "You have been talking for a long time and you don't understand. I read it in vain. What don't you understand?" Sun Delong said confidently: "What don't you understand? I don't understand anything! Let me ask you first what is 'Fengtian Chengyun'?" What is the 'Emperor's Edict'? "The man said: "'The Emperor's Edict' is what you don't understand? Tell you, the emperor's words are called 'The Emperor's Edict'." Sun Delong said happily: "Oh, the emperor's words are called 'Emperor's Edict'. "The emperor's edict said," what if I speak? "The man said: "How do I know what your edict is?" Sun Delong said: "Oh, go ahead. He said: "I'll stop reading it. You don't understand it after reading it. It's too troublesome for me to explain it anymore. Let me just tell you what it means. This Ryukyu Kingdom is our vassal country. It pays tribute every year and becomes a vassal every year. This year's sent Let's call an old Taoist, called 'Zhenren Lieyi', who can do thirty-six-hand riddles and recite seventy volumes of the Diamond Sutra. If anyone can do riddles and recite the Diamond Sutra, he will challenge us Chinese. If you win him, you will be rewarded with thousands of gold and become a marquis, no matter how much money you want, and as many officials as you want, they will still pay tribute every year and come to court year after year; if you can't win, or there is no one to fight with him, then they have to fight with Ryukyu. As a superior state, our Ming Dynasty is a vassal state. It’s useless for you to ask this. You don’t know how to play riddles, and you don’t know how to recite the Diamond Sutra. Why are you asking?”

Sun Delong has a foreigner. The so-called "know-it-all" means that no matter what, if you say that he can't do it, he will get angry and angry at that time. Hearing the person say that he doesn't know or understand, he said anxiously: "Don't say it! How do you know that I can't do it?" Can you do riddles? How do you know that I can't recite the Diamond Sutra?" The man was surprised: "Oh! You can do riddles?" Sun Delong said proudly: "Why can I grow a head if I don't know how to do it? ? "Actually, what does he know? When he is drunk, you will wonder what kind of charade it is. It is the kind of charade you use to bargain at the meat market and hold hands to talk about the amount and price. It is completely different from the sophisticated charade. When the man heard this, he was even more surprised and said: "Oh! You know better, then why don't you go to the old Taoist to fight?" Sun Delong said: "Yes, then how can I find it?" The man said: "You Just go and tear up the imperial list." Sun Delong looked at the imperial list and said, "Oh, I can't tear it up. You can tear it up for me." The man said, "Okay, I'll tear it up for you." Sun Delong followed. You have finished tearing it for me, and you still have to do it for me." The man pointed at himself and said, "I don't know how to do riddles, and I don't know how to read the Diamond Sutra. You might as well do it yourself." Just as Sun Delong was about to go over and tear it apart, the man said: "Don't be busy now, I have to read it to you clearly. Don't blame me if you lose later. It is clearly written on the imperial list. The veteran can do thirty-six moves of charades." Sun Delong shouted. Drunk, he asked: "How many tricks does the old Taoist know?" The man said: "Thirty-six moves." Sun Delong rolled up his sleeves and said: "We know seventy-two moves." The man was startled and said: "Huh! Than! He can recite seventy chapters of the Diamond Sutra." Sun Delong shook his head and said, "I can't finish reciting the Diamond Sutra?" The man's eyes widened. "It's not over? How much do you have to read?" Sun Delong curled his lips and said, "Mo Wan, how much do you care about?" The man said happily: "Okay, then you can tear up the emperor's list." Sun Delong said in confusion: "I can't reach it. The man glanced at it and said, "What are you holding in your arm?" Sun Delong said, "Hook the pig!" "Ah!" As soon as I stretched out the pole, "Wow"! Hooked up the imperial list.

Looking at the list, the soldiers saw someone tearing up the imperial list. They wiped their shoulders and tied up Sun Delong with their arms, and pushed him to see the list official. The ranking official was Mr. Jie Jinjie, a bachelor of science. Sun Delong stood up here without kneeling. Mr. Xie curled his lips, raised his chin and said, "I said, what is your surname?" Mr. Jie heard this and thought to himself: "What?" Why do you want to have sex with me? Said: "My surname is Jie.

Zhang Delong said: "Master Jie, are you being reasonable or not?" Mr. Jie was stunned and asked, "Why are you so irrational?" Sun Delong said loudly: "What are you talking about?" Is it possible to fight with an old Taoist while tied up? When Mr. Jie heard this, he was surprised and said: "Ouch!" You are a judge who fights with law, huh..." He quickly pointed at the soldiers and complained: "You guys, why did you tie up the judge? "Master Jie didn't know what he was capable of. He was afraid, so he came over in person to loosen his bonds and said politely: "Please sit down. "This is the only seat in the room. He should be handsome and never leave his seat. Sun Delong didn't understand. He sat down as soon as he sat down. Sitting down didn't count. What he said was quite irritating. He looked at Mr. Jie and said: "Hey! So where do you sit? "Jie Daxin said: You don't care where I sit. He said politely: "Then I will stand. Can you do riddles and recite the Diamond Sutra? "Sun Delong said: "It goes without saying, why are we here? Mr. Jie said: "Okay then, you can follow me into the palace." Sun Delong was stunned and said: "Come in, which palace are you entering?" Mr. Jie said: "In the inner courtyard of the palace, let's go see you." Sun Delong blinked and said, "Which driver are you seeing?" Master Jie heard this and said, "I don't understand at all." So he said, "Go into the palace and see the emperor!" Sun Delong laughed when he heard this, slapped his thigh and said: "Ah ha, meet the emperor, yes!" I need to see the emperor. Alas, we two brothers will never see each other again. ""ah? ! Mr. Jie's mouth was wide open and he thought to himself: What? With the Emperor's brothers! He asked curiously: "Where have you met?" Sun Delong waved his hand and said, "I haven't seen it or heard about it." "Master Jie thought: Nonsense! Who hasn't heard about it? He also said: "Okay, you come into the palace with me. Are you going to ride a horse or a sedan? Sun Delong said: "I don't want to ride a horse or sit in a sedan chair." "Jie Daxin said, "Judge, you know how to use magic." He hurriedly asked, "Then how do you get there?" Sun Delong said: "Ride a donkey." "Riding a donkey?" ! Master Jie said, "Where can I find it for you?" Sun Delong rolled his eyes and said, "I won't go without the donkey." After hearing what he said, Mr. Jie's tone immediately softened and he said, "Okay, I'll find it for you." "There was nothing he could do, so he called the soldiers who were watching the list to Zhang Yimen and hired him a small donkey for two hundred dollars.