Northeast joke

People who love to laugh are never too bad luck, so do you like to laugh? Here, I collected a lot of funny northeast jokes. Let's have a look! Maybe I can beat your laughing blood!

Northeast joke 1 1, when children in Northeast China were young, they played the horn, jumped up and down, fanned pia several times and climbed the fence. Boys never cry, and they don't like the way girls pee all day, so they especially like to pee when they grow up.

2. What is courage? Tiger!

What is tenderness? Bitch!

What is honesty? Bear!

What is positive? Show off in an ostentatious manner!

What is humiliation? Give it a try!

Why don't I understand this? Two!

The child asked: What is recklessness? Dad: Come on!

The child asked: What is powerful? Dad: Bang!

The child asked: What is weakness? Dad: Noodles!

The child asked: What is thrift? Dad: Dig!

The child asked: What is waste? Dad: Do it!

The child asked: What is slander? Dad: bury it!

The child asked: What is shame? Dad: the price has dropped!

Child:? I understand everything this time! ?

Dad:? Pretend? .

3. I remember the day before yesterday, the two of them always threw away the building blocks to play! As soon as you finish eating, you can catch a lot of bees, then put your eyes in their stomachs and show off to me while sucking the honey inside. It's so sweet! I can't bear to tell you that you are catching mung bean flies!

Northeast joke 2 1, there is a young man, glib (handsome), who is also good, but one thing is that he likes to call names and talk like a verbal child. He either deliberately scolds anyone or takes it out carelessly. I met an object, and I was annoyed with him. I told him, hey, the Spring Festival is coming. You should visit my house. My parents haven't met you yet.

When you listen to this young man, you will mutter (swear) and say that you are going to JB. What is the consideration? Your parents are not like mine.

The girl said, whether to go or not, you should pay attention to what you say. If we always curse, should my parents disagree with us?

The young man said that I would try to change and talk as little as possible.

On the 28th of the twelfth lunar month, the girl took the young man home. At first, the young man performed well. In a short time, the future old woman cooked the meal and everyone went to the table for dinner. The old lady fried four dishes and made a soup. The young man stood up at once and said politely, Oh, aunt, please have a rest and don't be busy. B Four dishes are enough, and the whole J8 soup has been returned.

As soon as the old man heard his face clap his hands, he put it down and said, be polite, young man. The young man was also at a loss. Q: What part of my TM speech was uncivilized?

The old man and the old lady were unhappy at that time, so they dropped their chopsticks on the table and turned back to the house. The young man can't stay at his girl's house any longer. He must go back. The girl was a little anxious, so she called her parents and said she was leaving. The old man and the old lady thought that they should at least give their girl a face and come out to see the young man off. It was very cold on the 28th day of the twelfth lunar month, and the young man couldn't bear to see the old man and the old lady shivering with cold. He added politely, go home, don't send the old lady, I think you are frozen.

There was another version of the joke when it was sent out. Seeing that the old man had no hat on his head, the young man said politely, Go home, don't send your uncle away, he will freeze you to death.

2. Northeasters come back from business trip and immediately ask the apartment manager for information, for fear that their wives will have an affair.

? Has anyone come to see my wife? Do you like a man you don't know or someone else?

? No, only a milkman came the day before yesterday. ?

? Well, I'm relieved. ? Northeasters breathed a sigh of relief.

? But he hasn't come down yet! ? The administrator said?

Northeast joke 3 1, a said: it really fell off the chain! (Price drop, disappointment)

B said: everywhere? What happened? )

A said, "You sneak out (sneak out: nonsense). What about those words (indecent words) that don't need to be hung? "

B said: love is everywhere, you can make it! Tuzha coffee (original meaning-Tugeta, escape refers to farmers) said this.

A said: stubborn! (stubborn)

B said: everywhere? Are you sick of the whole thing? Don't look at what day it is!

A said, your money, why are you so importunate? Look at what you said when you ran away. The whole thing is a big wave (nonsense). Can you attend? (cold mix), do you smoke or not?

B said: You are like a wise man who understands immortals. Use your experience!

A said: Your boy is really everywhere! (Not so good), you are old (grown up) and tired, fooling around, who told the yellow flower girl to have a crush on you!

B said: Don't worry, correct me if you can't beat a bachelor. If you can't find a small one, ask the old lady.

A said: I'll give you a leopard (as proud as a leopard)! This is the constitution (ability).

B said: you are great! Look at your wife, old beard (bowlegged)!

A said: Don't be too rude (immoral, it hurts to talk too much)!

B said: Seven families don't care about eight families. Go away and cool off, and don't get me into trouble.

A said: bear! I think you have been a crooked melon and a cracked jujube since you were a child, and you can't become silver.

2. When the dormitory building of the Public Security Bureau was completed, people spoke highly of it: the wall made of mortar and mahjong by Miss Zhuang who was beaten by clients, the powder beam on the thief, and the room where the robbers lived!

Guangzhou rich woman has the most money to train young people. Shanghai girls can read, and their sex skills spread all over the world. Miss Hunan is short and willing to be a mistress. Miss Beijing is very polite and carries a condom with her. Sister Northeast dares to have sex in the most powerful public places.

Women have different requirements for men as they get older: twenty must be tall, thirty must be skilled, forty must have high positions, fifty must have high housing, sixty must not be afraid of heights, and seventy must climb alone.

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