Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 30 humorous mood phrases with the most connotation
30 humorous mood phrases with the most connotation
1, nonsense is the first sentence of interpersonal relationship.
2. Taiwan Province Province, your mother's 60th birthday! Tell you to go home for dinner!
3. If handsome can be a meal, then my handsome can support 654.38+03 billion people.
The fat man got a girlfriend and broke up in less than a week. When a friend asked why, the fat man said, "She said ... she looked at me for a long time and felt very tired ..."
5. What is the worst job? Is to do something he doesn't like. What is worse than the worst? I want to work all my life!
6. Look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you will appreciate them. If you look down, you will be hooligans.
7. If the heart has no place to live, it wanders around.
8. The biggest sorrow in life is not that you can't get anything, nor lose anything, but that you don't know what you want at all.
9. If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.
10, don't always tell me the story of 2B society as a common people! Why can't Baidu search you again? No matter how tough you are, you can't hold your urine, can you?
1 1. Do you think the sourest feeling is jealousy? No, the sourest feeling is that you have no right to be jealous.
12, when the pain comes, don't always ask, "Why me?" Because you didn't ask this question when happiness came.
There are two tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want, and the other is getting what you don't want.
14, man, it's better to be beautiful than to live beautifully!
15, the same bottle of drinks, convenience stores sell 3 yuan, five-star hotels sell 60 yuan, many times, a person's value depends on his location.
16, everyone is "primitive" at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become "pirates".
17, when most people care about whether you fly high or not, only a few people care about whether you are tired or not. This is friendship.
18, like a person, very happy together; To love someone is to want to be together even if you are unhappy.
19, can't bear it, bear it again.
20. There is always a gap between ideal and reality. Fortunately, there is still a gap. Who else wants ideals?
2 1, not every "sorry" can be exchanged for "it doesn't matter".
22. Life is like a cup of tea. It won't be a lifetime, but it will always be a while.
23. God decides who your relatives are. Fortunately, it leaves room for you to choose your friends.
24. A friend is someone who sees through you but still likes you.
25, anyone can become vicious, as long as you have tried jealousy.
26. Love is like the sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it will be lost.
27. Let the future come and the past pass.
28. Beauty can only provide eyes for others, but it may not bring happiness.
29. People are tired because they can't put down their shelves, tear off their faces and solve their plots.
30. The man was away on business and suddenly went home early. He heard the man snoring at the door. The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: divorce! Three years after the divorce, his ex-wife said to him: It's Rising's little lion!
30 humorous mood phrases
Introduction: A classmate has to go to the toilet during the exam. Go back to the classroom and say to the teacher, "There are many ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant, so he tested him: "What did the ant say?" The classmate said blankly, "The ant didn't say anything ..."
1. One day, Tom was sitting on the train to Washington. He is the only one in the carriage. When the train stopped at a station, the door opened and a big man came over and threatened Tom with a knife: "Want money or die?" Tom was very scared. He replied, "I have no money on me." The big fellow asked savagely, "Then why are you trembling?" Tom said sadly, "I thought you were a ticket inspector."
2, eating in the restaurant, waiting for a long time, the last two dishes finally came up, we were hungry, so I shouted: waiter! A portion of rice! After waiting for five minutes, the meal came. I tell you: maybe this is the fastest service in this restaurant ... the waiter smiled and said: of course not! The second brother asked: Is there any service faster than meals? Tell me what it is. Two words popped up in the waiter's mouth: pay the bill!
3. Wife: "Husband, I want to buy a dress. I haven't bought clothes for a long time! " Husband: "Wife, look, my ring is a little small and tight!" " "Wife:" What, do you want to change the ring? "Husband:" No, I'm a little short of money! ""Wife: "..."
4. Xiao Li chased your beauty, but the beauty refused. The beauty said, "We have nothing in common, which is inappropriate." Xiao Li said, "Is your father older than you?" Beauty: "Nonsense" Xiao Li: "Your father is older than you, and my father is older than me. Is this different? "
In the interrogation room of the police station, the policeman asked, "Why did you rob Xiaomi's mobile phone? Are you a big fan of Xiaomi mobile phone? " A: "No, because they all say that Xiaomi's mobile phone is not easy to grab. I don't believe it. . . "
6. Teacher: Xiao Ming, tell me about your understanding of home. Xiaoming: Home is the place I really want to go back after I leave for a day. Teacher: Well, good! ! ! Xiao Ming: I'm not finished, teacher. Home is still the place I really want to leave after 5 minutes. Teacher: Why? Xiao Ming: Because we have finished eating. . .
7. Son: Dad, I don't want to go to school. The world is so big, I want to go out and see it! Dad: Sure, Beijing, Shanghai ... You choose! Son: Really, it's very kind of dad ... Dad: What's delicious? Go ahead, where to go first? Son: That. . . . Let's go to Beijing first ... Dad: OK, I'll call your uncle right away ... Son: Is his uncle in Beijing? Dad: Yes, he's building in Beijing, and he just needs a mud ... Son: Ah ... Dad, I'm going to school. ....
8. Teacher: Xiao Ming, why were you full of energy just now and then depressed? Xiaoming: I'm so disappointed! Teacher: Why? I don't speak well? Xiao Ming: As soon as you started class, you said that this class was about' free nudity'. I'm so excited that I'm completely sleepy. After listening for a long time, who knew it was a' free fall'! Alas, teacher: you, get out!
9. My wife is obsessed with cooking and learned to use chopped pepper as her husband's favorite fish head. Husband smacked his lips after tasting it: what a good thing, what a good thing! Wife is happy: since it's all right, eat more. Husband: What a pity! You ruined everything.
10, just entered a company, one of Yi's friends went to the company canteen for lunch, and when he met the leader, he rushed to join in. After eating, the leader quickly took out toilet paper from his pocket and wiped his mouth. The leader praised his carefulness in public. These two goods were modest, and as a result, he said nervously, "Oh, I usually don't bring paper. I put it in my trouser pocket before I use it in the morning!" " The leader's face twitched a few times obviously, and then. . . My friend lost his job.
1 1, I have a problem with this man. I drank too much when I went out for entertainment. When I got home, I went to work and cleaned, and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, I didn't know I cleaned it myself. Every time I say to my daughter-in-law, "You are really capable of cleaning up your home!" " "Once I came back from drinking. I don't know why I fell asleep after cleaning up a room. When I woke up, I found that only one room was clean. I said to my daughter-in-law, "If you want to tidy up the house, just tidy up. Don't make a mess! The daughter-in-law was unhappy when she heard this: "You are really a gentleman who cares about everything! Don't worry about anything in the future, just care about drinking! "
12, the bus was so crowded that my colleagues and I managed to squeeze out a place. I took out my mobile phone, opened qq and began to steal food. After a few stops, I will arrive at the station. My colleague stabbed me: "steal it, we will arrive at the station soon!" " It may be a little loud. I found all the people in the car staring at us. I smiled and took out my mobile phone and waved it in front of them. "I'm stealing food!" However, a white-haired old man brought his basket back and said solemnly, "Stealing is not all from a small place! " "
13, wife: "Husband, you don't love me." Husband: "How?" The wife took a photo of her husband and a girl and asked, "Since this girl appeared, you have been less kind to me than before." Husband: "Stop it!" Wife: "I'm not making trouble." You always buy her food and clothes, and ... you often go to the bathroom to kiss her secretly at night. Don't think I don't know. " Husband: "Ni Mei, even you are jealous of your daughter!" "
14, Ruth lies on the bed and asks Jack to draw a sketch for her. Two hours later, Ruth said discontentedly, "honey, what's the matter?" Didn't you say it only takes an hour to draw? " Jack said, "I think so, too, but as soon as you take off your clothes, I think it will take three hours to finish painting!" " "Ruth asked curiously," why? " Jack said with a bitter face, "you have so much fat on you that it takes a lot of effort to draw!" "
15, police officer: Tell me about the accident. Pedestrian: I'm walking on the road. It's okay. Here comes the car opposite. I hide left and right, and it follows me left and right. I turned wherever I hid, and then I ran into it. Driver: But my car has been parked there for half an hour. . .
16, the leader's house was stolen, and the police quickly solved the case, arrested the thief and asked: What did you steal? Thief: a piece of platinum, 20 thousand dollars, four diamonds ... The police slapped the thief before they finished, saying that the thief was making it up and bragging. The leader said that he only lost 1000 yuan.
17, my friend became a father. After going to the hospital, I picked up the child and was happy. The doctor came over and said, "What are you laughing at? This child is not yours. " My friend's daughter-in-law immediately cried and said, "I'm sorry, I drank too much that night." My friend was dumbfounded. When the doctor saw it, he immediately picked up the clinical child and said, "I'm sorry, this child is yours."
18, Tang Priest: "Wukong, you trampled another ant to death. Monks can't kill! " Wukong: "Master, you walked and stepped on it." Tang Priest: "Didn't you see the teacher riding a horse?"
19. On my birthday, I got a long and exquisite package from the courier. After opening, it is fresh and lovely, an expensive plastic doll. Send a small question: "Do you like it?" I said, "Of course! Thank you for sending me a wife! " Send a novel: "I am interesting enough!" "Be loved! How interesting! " I said with a smile! "Then you should do something interesting. Since I have a daughter-in-law, don't pursue Lili again, let me pursue it alone! " "What-what-"
20. That fat woman is eating hard. Mom scolded: "You are so fat, no man will come near you, and you still eat like this!" " "The fat woman said," That's because I'm not fat enough, so men won't come near me! " "Mother:" What fallacy is this? " Fat woman: "If I were as fat as the earth and the gravity was strong enough, men would not only approach me, but also circle me."
2 1, "You never give up your seat by bus, you never wash dishes when you eat, your work is never out of date, and you never pay for play. What advantages do you think you can have? " "This shows that I am a very persistent person."
22. My husband graduated from home appliance maintenance, and his skills are superb. Basically, all household appliances can be repaired. This morning, when my husband repaired her daughter's "voice loss" for a long time, her daughter gave a thumbs-up admiringly: "Wow, Dad is really amazing, he can fix anything, but why can't Mom?" I was so embarrassed that my smug husband took a look at me and quickly said calmly to my daughter, "Your mother is even worse. She will fix me."
23. My wife and I have been married for more than ten years, and the romantic age has been a long time! This morning, I suddenly said to my wife on a whim: Let's talk about love again and pretend you don't know me. My wife said,' OK, I'll tell her,' Hi! Little bitch, who knows that this product slaps me as soon as it raises its hand, and still curses: I'm tired of harassing my aunt!
24. A very fat woman got on the bus and couldn't find a seat, so she had to pull the pull ring on the bus. Unexpectedly, the driver suddenly braked, and the fat woman pulled off the pull ring and jumped in front of the driver. The driver looked at her and the pull ring on her hand and said angrily, there are three sets. Send the driver an autographed photo!
25. It's not the first time to kiss a girlfriend. This time, she actually said that she felt her first kiss. I said excitedly, "I can give you my first kiss after so long!" " She said disdainfully, "Yes, you always make me feel kissed by an animal." Me. . .
26. In high school, everyone liked to eat snacks and chat in Chinese class. The teacher was angry and stared at us, but there was nothing he could do. . . Later, I changed to a Chinese teacher. He was very honest and never opposed our eating snacks, but everyone gradually got rid of this bad habit. Because every time someone eats snacks, the teacher will come and eat with him.
27. Once on a plane, the lady by the window needed to go to the toilet and I needed to stand up and give up my seat. I was afraid she was in a hurry, so I unfastened my seat belt and stood up suddenly. However, I didn't get up, as if a powerful force had stopped me. I resisted, resisted, resisted, but was firmly locked in my seat. What's going on here? I looked down and my seat belt was tightly tied to my body. What I untied was actually a belt.
28. Who cares about you most in your company? Our director, of course? How does Director A care about you? B Every time I say something wrong or do something wrong, the director will say, Are you sick?
29. Excuse me, Miss, do you like doing sports? I love it! I get up early on time every day and exercise for at least two hours. You are too persistent. What sports do you do? Make up!
30. When the Tang Priest and his disciples came to the daughter country, Bajie wanted to play for a few more days, but he was afraid to say. On this day, Pig said, "Master, I want to find someone here. When I find it, shall we go west again?" The Tang Priest asked, "What do you want with him? Is that person important? " Bajie: "Yes." Tang Priest: "Who is it?" Pig said with a smile, "Alone."
Editor's note: A gentleman often loses his wallet on the bus. One day before getting on the bus, a gentleman folded a thick stack of paper and put it in an envelope. After getting off the bus, he found the envelope stolen. The next day, a gentleman just got on the bus and felt a hard object around his waist. He felt it and saw it. This is the envelope from yesterday. The envelope says: Please don't make such jokes, it will affect his normal work. Thank you.
Talk about the most connotative mood
1, youth is running wildly, and then falling luxuriously. 2. They said that the most important person didn't comment on QQ.
I heard that the meaning of travel is to escape. It is not the city that escapes, but the memory.
4. Congratulations on losing me when I am no longer attached to you.
In the world, there is always a person who repeatedly says I love you because of insecurity, just like me.
6. The most hurtful words come from the gentlest mouth.
7, the teenager treats me with long hair and waist, marry me, the key is that you have no waist.
8. I can be brave and crazy by protecting my place and not letting others get dirty.
9. If my life is a joke, you are the only truth in my life.
10, I will never come back, just like you left me.
1 1. People who hurt you the most are often those who claim that they will never hurt you.
12, I really want to ask you, pointing to your heart, if I leave you, will it hurt here?
13, heartless people sleep well and eat well! I want to be a heartless person.
14, I may not hold your hand again, because you have let go of my hand.
15, instead of praying for a plain life, pray for yourself to be stronger.
16, I thought nothing had changed, but after a long time, I was left far away.
17, I won't look back, and it may be embarrassing later.
18. If you don't know what you want, you will be at a loss when you have it.
19, don't go your own way. Those who missed it, don't look back.
20. Youth is really thin, everything is light, and when the wind blows, we are separated.
2 1, society is too realistic, and honesty is the only way to get rich.
22. I want to be your own summoner and accompany you to the end of the world drama.
23. There is always a person's name, which is all the reasons why you refuse others.
24. I can only love you once, because I only have one complete love.
25. I miss you all the time when you are away.
26. The sun gets up so early and goes to bed so early every day. I sleep late every day. Do you think it is easy for me to get up so late?
27. My hobbies can be divided into two types: dynamic and static. Quietly sleeping, moving over.
28. Some people seem to care nothing about you. In fact, you don't know how many times they have resisted the impulse to contact you.
29. We are 189 years old this year, and we gradually hate noise and like nature.
There are so few right people who can grow old together, which is more important than anything else.
3 1, holding your heart out is your own stupidity, and others will have the opportunity to stab it with a knife.
I don't want to miss your future, because I have missed your past.
33. If one day I disappear from this world, who will desperately look for me?
34. Whoever loves whom is the best memory in his heart, although the road ahead is bleak.
35. Your heart has thorns; Is it angular?
36. I have nothing to say about your love. Silence is the best aftertaste.
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, in the end, he killed all the students.
38. If you leave, don't come back. I'm not a garbage collection station.
39, a gambling game, knowing that the result will die, but unwilling to lose.
40. Those times that are allowed to be willful are called youth.
4 1, this scene ended in prosperity, not the whole city, not the country, but everything I have.
42. When you are in a bad mood, take the bus and sit behind your long hair to cut your hair.
43. When you see through everything, you will know that losing is more practical than having.
44. When two people are together, they are most afraid that both sides will say that they are tired, and that one side will say that you have changed.
45, love is not terrible, terrible is habit.
46. No one is as obsessed with a fruitless result as I am.
47. Tucao is used to count money, not to reason.
48. A person is walking on a noisy road, and my messy footsteps tell me my loneliness.
49. No one needs to understand how a frostbitten heart warms up again.
50. I like the new and hate the old. Look, who is this man? How can I be such a person?
5 1. At the beginning, we parted ways, but now we are far away and can't go back.
52. I'd rather live in a high profile than love in a humble way.
53. The most precious thing in life is actually not external things, but another person.
54. From the beginning, you decided the final result, who you would be with, but I knew it clearly, and I still lost miserably.
55. Slowly left, slowly disappeared, slowly lost the signal, so our love also slowly disappeared.
56, crying for you, laughing for you, that is something worth remembering in my life.
57. Not all wounds can be covered with paper.
58. The best friend is someone who scolds you 800 times a day, but doesn't allow others to scold you.
59. You are still so free and easy, but you are a man I can't afford to play with.
60. When you speak ill of me, can you feel like cooking without embellishing it?
6 1, two hearts used to be so close, but now they want to give up like this.
62. If one day I disappear, who will suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and think of me and cry?
Boredom is how a person feels about a plate after eating the food on it.
64. Sleep in class, fight after class, and die in the exam.
65. When Southern Yan murmured, it was the time when I missed you. There are thousands of passers-by in the world. Why do you remember only you?
66. I would rather be a child than watch too many things and listen to too many mistakes, just for a lifetime.
67. I can only breathe in your smile. Why do you always cry?
68. Flying can last forever, but the seas run dry and the rocks crumble.
69. Be a low-key person. I'm too depressed to adjust.
70. Goodbye October, hello, November! I hope this month will be better.
7 1, the pain after entanglement, suddenly looking back, everything is so unbearable.
72. I woke up briskly this morning in spring, yawned at home, couldn't sleep at night, and couldn't wake up during the day.
73. If I changed, I would be really cruel and cold-blooded. Don't expect me to change.
74. Qi Liu Hai broke the hearts of many ignorant girls, and she couldn't let go and tie them up.
75. Loving someone who doesn't love you hurts yourself and embarrasses others.
76. You are all my sustenance, and you are the bright spot in my heart.
If you can still stand in front of me, I can ignore the whole world for you.
78. No matter how good I am, you don't want it. Everything is just an interruption!
79. I can't integrate into this world, and I wander in my own world alone.
80, don't be sad, just leave.
8 1, damage has no happiness value. I miss the past, and my heart used to miss the past.
82. The promise, fantasy and reality I made to you when I was irrational were mutually exclusive.
83. Broken love has left, giving me hope that I should not fantasize that you are still there.
If you can't forget her, you are not qualified to say that you love me.
85, sad, don't tell others, because no one will care.
86. Since I have a sitting toilet, my mother is no longer worried that I will fall into the toilet.
87. This is just a game and a dream. There is no place for you in the world of two people.
88, happy, and then what? What is love reconfirmed with?
We agreed to fall in love as soon as we met, but you didn't show up, leaving me wandering by the sea.
90, still wandering in the same place, the back is getting farther and farther, waiting for you to turn back.
9 1, I really want to know, are you afraid of losing me for a second?
92. In your eyes, I have too many shortcomings to see that I like you so much.
93. Happiness has just begun, but sadness is already lurking.
94. In the past, everyone lived in his own heart, but later he became an orphan.
95. Because of love, I am willing to play even a clown.
96. Living the life of Bajie, but wanting the figure of Monkey Brother.
97. If you care, he has no intention. If you love someone who doesn't love yourself, there is nothing in return.
I won't bother you anymore, so let's do our own thing.
99. At that time, my dream was to be a schoolmaster. Now, I just want to stop studying.
100, no matter how sad I am when I am apart, I will still miss you for so long.
10 1. If we can meet again one day, will you tell me long time no see?
102, the beginning is just the beginning, and the end does not mean the end.
103, the promise written in the bones at the beginning is easily replaced by love by time.
104, a light year is a long time, but it can't bury the traces of our existence.
105, you used to be more important than friends in my heart, but now you can't even compare with friends in my heart.
106, don't accuse me of typos in the future, this is anti-counterfeiting technology.
107, yours, mine, hers, we walk in the dream together.
108, forgetting the word "death" above and "heart" below. The heart will be forgotten when it dies.
109 When the rain quietly covered the tears, the memories began to fade in my heart.
1 10, the sky is gray and wild, and the moon is dark and windy.
1 1 1. You don't need to be brave or lie. People who know you will naturally know who you are.
1 12, I felt the unprecedented fear of infection. When I reached out, it was all hot black light.
1 13, when you want to cherish it, you find that you have left.
1 14, I am still a child, and I can still cry when I am injured.
1 15, my expectations are a little less than at the beginning, and my love is a little lighter than at the beginning.
1 16, I'm glad I'm nearsighted. I couldn't even see my back clearly when you left.
1 17. Life is like a small bridge with flowing water and picturesque scenery.
1 18, I smiled and said I forgot, but I actually remembered everything, but it was meaningless.
1 19. Happiness lies not in eagerly looking forward to having it, but in calmly not afraid of losing it.
120, this age, this season will never leave me, only mosquitoes.
Funny mood phrases with profound connotations
Funny mood phrases with profound connotations
1. Leave me alone. Maybe one day I will ignore you, and you will regret it.
I love you for so long, not because of your words, oh, I know.
Every reserved and calm present has a silly and naive past.
4. If life is like the first time, don't be sentimental. Say goodbye, maybe I will never see you again …
As long as you want, as long as I have. I like this sentence best. I will give you anything you want, even if I don't have it.
6. Sometimes I feel like a psychopath, which not only entangles me, but also bothers others.
7. How many children were hurt by the exam and how many honest children learned to cheat.
8. The best thing I have ever done is to observe the four seasons and meet you.
9. I want to tell the world loudly: I fell in love with you in those years and I was blind.
10. The most worrying love in the world: you love him and he loves you, but he is with someone else.
1 1. Love is like a ferris wheel, and only you get hurt.
12. Look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you appreciate them. If you look down, you are hooligans.
13. In fact, I am a very traditional person and have been raising three wives and four concubines.
14. I hugged you at the end of the road, but you dragged me into deeper darkness.
15. Every time I take an exam, I firmly believe in a principle that we are all family in the examination room.
16. I thought nightmares wouldn't haunt me all the time. I thought I could cure my headache by closing my eyes.
17. Don't blink when your tears are almost unbearable. You will see the whole process of the whole world from clear to fuzzy.
18. Go far away by train, regardless of the destination, only care about you and the scenery along the way.
19. Lies have a better name after packaging: oath.
20. Behind every girl's favorite lyrics, there is an unknown story.
2 1. Don't fall in love with someone just because of a temporary feeling, because it may be an illusion.
22. The remaining 2 1 g soul is the last way for me to love you.
Please give me some sunshine, air, water and a little love at your fingertips.
I can wait for you for a long time. I'm not afraid. I'm afraid I can't wait for you in the end.
25. Give up what you can't get. Does it hurt to think of it every day?
26. All problems are ultimately a matter of time. All troubles are actually asking for trouble.
27. Sometimes, we have to shut up, put down our pride and admit that we are wrong. This is not to admit defeat, but to grow up.
28. Just because I didn't speak doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes, I just want to be quiet.
29. I am the kind of person who is not afraid of death and pain, and is afraid of losing you.
30. The fool said I was waiting for you. The fool came back and the fool left.
3 1. It is said that women are clothes and brothers are brothers. Whoever touches my hands and feet, I will touch his clothes.
32. Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, I became blind.
Sanlu and Mengniu tell us a truth: animals are unreliable.
34. I'm not a genius because I haven't worn Finch's diaper.
35. I haven't seen cowhide blown as fresh and refined as you for a long time.
36. When others hold hands, I will hold my dog to see who is unhappy with a bite.
37. The school doesn't want us to fall in love, but only wants us to wear matching clothes.
38. I just wanted to turn around gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall!
39. This morning in spring, I woke up easily, yawned at home, couldn't sleep at night, and couldn't wake up during the day.
- Previous article:Seek the content of the script of the young Bao Qingtian III. thank you
- Next article:A 50-word story about a mathematician
- Related articles
- What are the stalks in a hundred thousand jokes?
- Yun-peng Yue's five-ring terrier was very cold, which didn't cause chorus. How did he tactfully ease it?
- What else is beautiful in English besides beautiful?
- Why should the emperor's daughter be called princess?
- China exam joke
- Skin care products question customers’ consumption habits
- What does Lao Wang next door mean?
- Spring Festival custom in Beijing
- Who are the characters who return to earth in Bear?
- Crossing the line of fire joke