A funny joke in a circle of friends

1. On the way home, I saw many takeaway brothers rushing to deliver food, and suddenly felt very inspirational. Others are still delivering food so late. What reason do I have not to eat?

When you are young, don't despair because you have no money, because you have to know that there are still many days without money, so be strong!

People who lose weight should never add any weight loss groups. On the surface, they can encourage each other, but it is useless. If you are not the fattest, you will relax because someone is at the bottom.

4. In ancient China, there was an artifact of governing the country: the Yellow Calendar. If you want to tear it down so that people don't get angry, you should write more "breaking the ground"; If you don't want them to make trouble in the street, just write "No Travel"!

It doesn't matter. You're not fighting alone. When you are lonely, please remember that there is Qian Qian's single dog behind you!

6. Although I am often beaten by my wife, God knows that my wife is not an unreasonable person. She always asks my permission before calling. When I said no, she called me and said yes.

7. Do you think this is the low point of life? No! In fact, you still have room to fall.

8. I used to be called husband and wife, but now I call my mobile phone to stay with me. One machine in hand will last forever. The machine is not in hand and there is no soul.

9. The man didn't catch the bus until he got home. When you come back, tell your wife that you missed the bus. It's okay. Earned 1 yuan after exercise. At that time, his wife became angry and said, "You are stupid. If you want to catch a taxi, at least make a starting price."

10. Girls should never go out alone at night. It is really dangerous. There are barbecues and desserts all over the street, and no one can resist eating one casually, and they will gain a few pounds.

1 1. Three big fantasies in life: start working hard tomorrow, go to bed early today, and I'll chop my hand if I buy again.

12. He is obviously a rich second generation, but he does his homework on time in class. I can drive a luxury car, but I squeeze the bus every day. I can eat by my face, but I'm trying. This is the difference between me and Mingming.

13. I used to have a dog and named it "Stop". Every time: stop here, stop here. Before long, the dog went crazy.

14. Full of wisdom, face suddenly enlarged.

15. In high school, because it was too hot in summer, I always put a book under my ass. I felt that the book under my ass was hot, so I changed it. The idiot at the back desk said to me, do you have eyes on your ass? After reading a book, change it.

16. Your sufferings, loss of food, responsibility, sin and pain as a child have no other meaning except to prove that you were unlucky since childhood.

17. When you feel that you have nothing, you have nothing to love. Look in the mirror, honey, you still have meat!

18. I was eating in the canteen, biting my tongue and screaming with pain. Idiot roommate asked me what happened. I pointed to my mouth in pain and vomited some blood. Idiot shouted: "stop eating, everyone, the food is poisonous!" " "

19. If life deceives you, don't be sad or impatient. You must be dreaming, because you have no life at all.

20. The company goddess always ignores my goodness, which makes me sad. A good friend comforted me: "Don't be sad, she doesn't care, she does this to everyone who is ugly."

2 1. I learned driving in a driving school for the first time today. I started from that half slope, and when I went downhill, the car dropped sharply. The coach shouted: Brake with your feet! I was in a daze. As soon as the car door opened, I put one foot outside and grounded, and finally stabilized the speed.

22. The same laziness, just because the face is different and the fate is completely different. For example, pandas and pigs: one is spoiled and the other is stabbed! You are nothing but ugly!

23. People living in some areas are so pitiful that it rains almost every day.

24. Once on the bus, I met a child and asked his mother, "Mom, what does that weakness mean to the old, the weak and the sick?" Mom replied, "It means retarded." As a result, the child looked around and said to me, "Uncle, sit down ..."