Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Forty grenades
Forty grenades
Wang Yizhang, an old soldier of the Anti-Japanese Volunteers, suddenly received an order: hurry to the Heihe left-behind headquarters to concentrate.
Wang Yizhang came to the regimental headquarters.
The regiment chief of staff received him. It turned out that the regimental headquarters was going to organize a security class.
Personnel need to be transferred from various companies.
He was attracted. Look at the people who have painted.
Wang Yizhang is happy. There are ten people in the new guard class.
All acquaintances
And they are all veterans of the regiment.
They are all excellent sharpshooters.
Excellent martial arts.
The chief of staff gave a lecture to the new guard class.
Then assign tasks. In fact, this is not a guard mission.
Let them bypass the Japanese position
Escort a person to Helen. Chief of staff emphasizes "detour"
Never contact with the Japanese army.
"Ruyi lang who is it? Tell me, son! " As long as this man is handed over, the task is completed. When I heard that there was no war
Wang Yizhang some unhappiness in my heart.
The chief of staff asked the new monitor to hand out four grenades to everyone. These ten people were either born in the green forest or in the mountains.
Speak by marksmanship
I'm not used to being an idiot like grenades. Besides.
Everyone knows that this wooden handle made in Heihe is not easy to use.
Wang Yizhang is unhappy again.
The escorted person is slender and fair-skinned.
Wear a robe
Wear black glasses.
He looks like a businessman. The chief of staff refused to ask the man's name.
Just let everyone call him "Miss Li". Wang Yizhang hates this passerby most.
My heart is getting more and more unhappy.
Despite all the unpleasantness
But the military orders are like mountains
Soldiers are on their way.
From Heihe to Helen, we have to cross Xiaoxing 'an Mountains. Zoushan road
Chuanlaolin
It's a piece of cake for these veterans. But the monitor always reminds everyone.
When you meet Japanese soldiers or hunters, you must avoid exposure. Also stressed that it is a dead person.
You can't use grenades.
This is nonsense.
I don't want to use it. Why send it? For both buyers and sellers
Set so many rules
This is not torture!
The buyer and the seller, Mr. Li, walk in the middle of the team.
Everyone was angry when they saw it. This man looks like a mute.
Never heard him say a string of words.
Just said "yes" and "yes". There are more irritating things.
He is carrying a box.
Someone touched it.
He gave a hard "mmm".
Idle all the way.
Everyone is guessing what's in Mr. Li's box. Finally, Wang Yizhang concluded
The box contains gold bars. Everyone said it was right.
Why else is he so precious?
Take a nap that day
Wang Yizhang had a dream: he went home by himself.
Take out a handful of gold in your left hand and give it to your mother.
Say, "mom.
Let's go to Qiqihar to buy medicine.
Do a good job! "Right hand took out a handful of gold to show Jane.
Say, "Play bracelets! I fucking wear a bracelet! " Touched its waist again.
Take another look.
It turned out to be a burning Grenade. Wang Yizhang was startled.
Shouting: "Mom! Xiuzhen! " kick
Woke up. Everyone laughed at Wang Yizhang: shit veteran! have no future
be homesick
Miss your wife.
Hide in the village
Avoid Orion
Avoid the bear blind man
Avoid the main road. Ten soldiers
Add a businessman
Drill where people don't walk.
It's hard to say.
Look at the northern boundary of the sea.
Go further, it won't be a deep mountain.
More and more people
Away from the Japanese, she lay there with her eyes open. After a while, she saw the queen get up quietly, so as not to disturb the king. She has a box under her arm. Then she took out animal oil from another box and painted it on the fire fork, opening the smoke hole in the ceiling. At last she sat on the fork and said, "Go up, don't come down!" " "It's nearby. in other words
The road is even worse.
This day
Until noon
The team rested as usual. There is no wind in the forest.
The weather is sultry and suffocating.
Everybody lie down and sleep. Wang Yizhang then dreamed that his mother was wearing a new cotton-padded jacket.
Very happy; Xiuzhen put on hair oil.
Handsome? Dreams are beautiful.
He was kicked awake. There is a partridge in my ear.
The veterans are very excited.
Everybody push the bullet. This kind of partridge sound is made by the sentry.
It means: find the enemy
Many enemies!
No fighting.
Everyone is angry. Really can come to the enemy.
Everyone is in trouble again. Military affairs are in progress.
This rich burden
You must protect everything.
See clearly gradually.
It's Japanese.
I can light five torches and rummage through everything, not to mention people. I didn't even find a mouse. When the last guard ran out of the cave, Li Shancheng sank his face and said, "The earth gate is clear, and the prisoner Tara Yutai has absconded. You said he went into this cave? " Number 60
Open the skirmisher line
Push slowly this way. The monitor motioned at once.
Go in the opposite direction
Re-enter the mountain. But it didn't go far.
Everyone was shocked.
There are demons over there, too
be in a dilemma
A few pheasants flew. The situation is very bad now.
Veterans say: birds fly and beasts are surprised.
There must be an ambush. Although the Japanese may not understand this truth.
But there are always traitors in the devil.
Traitors know what's going on in the mountains.
at once
A burst of reconnaissance sniper fire is coming this way. The bad thing is.
Really hit a man on the arm.
The guy let out a cry involuntarily. The demons have come to the spiritual world.
Gather round at once.
Unequal order
The soldiers retreated.
Separate from each other. The situation is getting clearer and clearer.
It's impossible not to fight.
And it must be a fierce battle. According to the operation practice
At this time, it is necessary to make a breakthrough plan.
Otherwise, none of them will live. but
The monitor didn't arrange a breakthrough.
And he didn't order the shooting.
Seize this opportunity.
Wang Yizhang took out grenades one by one from his bag.
Put it in front of you
When you're ready to shoot
Just throw a Grenade. This distance makes this thing still valid. Right there.
Step on his hand with one foot. He raised his head.
It's fucking Mr. Li! Wang Yizhang is about to have an attack.
Only to see the black glasses that Li threw over.
A pair of eyes glared at him. This time, Li Can said something: "Put it back!" Wang Yizhang can't afford that kind of look.
I can't help but put the Grenade back to my waist.
Almost face to face with the devil.
The monitor hasn't given the order yet. Can't wait! Wang Yizhang held her breath.
Put your finger on the trigger. At this moment, the wind suddenly blew.
I saw Mr. Li throw away his robe.
Open the suitcase
Actually put forward a Soviet submachine gun from the inside!
Mr. Li suddenly rushed out.
Run from tree to tree.
Shoot while running. The devil fell several times.
The rest arrived at him at once. All I heard was gunshots drifting away.
The monitor waved: "Go!"
Wang Yizhang is very confused.
Leave Mr. Li behind
Give up the task
What kind of monitor is this? The monitor didn't explain either.
Muzzle flash
One by one, the soldiers had to bend through the Woods.
Touch the place where there is no gunshot.
Escape from the Japanese encirclement
When I ran to a hazel forest
Three Japanese soldiers suddenly appeared head on. Hazelnut trees are too dense.
Some branches have been nailed.
Will the gun go well for a while?
Wang Yizhang saw that the devil was near.
Conveniently pulled out a Grenade.
lanyard
Throw it here. Three demons rushed at once.
But the Grenade didn't explode. Damn it!
This is a stinking bomb!
But I heard three shots.
The monitor shot. As soon as the gunfire rang.
There are devils coming again. The team had to disband.
Everyone ran deep into the jungle.
night falls
It's terribly quiet in the Woods. Wang Yizhang thought of this day.
The more you think about it, the more unhappy you are. Who is this Mr. Li? What's with the monitor? What about the mission? What about this Grenade?
dawn
The soldiers assembled according to the signal.
Except Mr. Li
Actually, a lot.
The monitor looked at everyone.
The tiger's face changed. Everyone thinks this must be for Mr. Li.
His life must be gone.
This task is impossible. Who knows that the monitor's eyebrows are wrinkly.
Shouting, "Who the fuck threw a Grenade?"
Wang Yizhang said, "It's me. This is a smelly bomb.
Black River made shit! "Monitor bitten to grind.
What are you going to say?
After all, I held back
Just growl: "Go!
Find it.
Get it back! "
This is a military order? For a stinking bomb that can't be blown up.
Let the brothers die again?
The soldiers returned to the battlefield yesterday.
The Japanese are gone. The battlefield has been cleaned.
No one.
Only black blood is left.
Cluttered branches
Collapsed black soil. Everyone kicks and scratches.
I did find the Grenade. The Japanese despise this shit.
I didn't take it away.
The monitor has a Grenade in his hand.
Said bitterly, "Didn't I say that?"
Don't use grenades. Others use it.
On the spot "
Sleep outdoors
Wang Yizhang quietly put the Qing Guangxu years
It's getting late
The snow of goose feather scattered the land of Qin Jin into a silvery world. A little black donkey was carrying a thin old man in a cloak.
There was an attendant leading a donkey, carrying a burden back and forth.
Swing across the Longmen Cable Bridge of the Yellow River in the snow.
From east to west, I came to Long Ting Town, the capital of Shaanxi Province. Yu Wangla, who is closely related, is nowhere to be found.
"Wang Zi said.
Can you see it?
There is something wrong with this Grenade! Yu Wang said, "I saw it too." .
Let's unscrew it and have a look. "
Encountered a lot of trouble.
Remove the wooden handle.
Landing head first
Suddenly there was a "wow"
glaring
Obviously this is not gunpowder. Wang Yizhang pinched it and smelled it.
Q: "What the hell is this?" Yu Wang's face is pale.
anxious
Whispered: "this.
This is gold! You haven't seen gold? "
Ah! golden
The Grenade is full of gold!
Yu Wang said, "Brother Yizhang.
We're rich! "Wang Yizhang stared at Wang Yu:" No.
I want to ask the monitor! "Keep the mission of Yu Wang.
Pull him to the monitor.
Hearing this, the monitor said
Said, "Let's concentrate.
I need to say something to you. "
The soldiers gathered together. The monitor asked, "Let me ask you something.
What should we do? "Everyone said," Soldiers! " The monitor asked again, "Let's leave our family behind.
What did you live for and what did you die for? "The soldiers said," fight the devil! "
The monitor nodded.
Then he said, "The devil cut off the passage from Heihe to Helen."
Do you want to eat in front?
Do you want to wear it or not?
Stop paying wages! The left-behind group explicitly asked us to escort Mr. Li.
In fact, it is to send money to the front. The Grenade was full of them chatting for a while, but no one could answer her question. Then the old woman turned to the king's son and said, "It seems that I can't help you anymore. But the crow king flew into a rage. He pecked with his big mouth, gouged out his eyes in the middle of the green door and flew into the dense fog. I have a place that rules the sky and sings emotionally. Zhang Wanchun also shook his head and sang along. The sister of the bird. Give her my regards. Maybe she will help you. " The old woman ordered a wolf to take the prince to see her sister. The king's son sat on the wolf's back and they set off. On the way, they climbed mountains, crossed forests and walked many deserted paths. golden
It's the life of a frontline person! Mr. Li is also escorting gold.
His real name is not Lee.
You may have heard about it.
He was the' Pingyang Oriental' who was in charge of Bayan Sushan! "
Hear here
All the veins stood out.
grind one's teeth
Shouted loudly: "I want to send gold to the front."
Revenge for Pindar's husband! "
The monitor said, "We are volunteers now.
But I spent many years in a cabin in my early years.
Let's form a blood alliance according to the rules of that year. "say that finish
Find a marching lunch box
Pierce one's finger
Drop blood in. One soldier after another.
A thorn means a drop of blood.
Only then did everyone realize that one person was missing.
Yu Wang. It's not good for the monitor to shout.
Let everyone check their grenades. Plus Yu Wang's own.
There are ten missing in total. The monitor waved his gun and shouted, "Chase!"
Most volunteers are experts in finding people.
Not far away, I caught up with Yu Wang.
When the gun is pointed at in the evening, women in the south of the Yangtze River will wash their hair with the leaves of hibiscus (a dwarf tree used as a fence in a vegetable garden or at home). Male ... Yu Wang is standing on the hill.
Holding grenades in both hands and shouting, "Don't shoot!"
As soon as you shoot, the Japanese will come! Let's eat food like soldiers.
My family is still starving! Go to each side of the road.
Take the gold home! "
Soldiers really dare not shoot.
But Yu Wang took the gun off his shoulder.
In the crowd. Face to face
A dart suddenly flew out.
The two ghosts who shot Yu Wang in the throat fell to their knees in fear, but the ghost hands didn't withdraw. One of the ghosts lowered his head and said, "Your Majesty, today is the first day of this month. Your husband really came and brought many gifts. When he arrived, he came under the melon rack and saw that the melon was gone. Repeatedly said: "It's broken!" The old couple smiled and said, "Don't worry, sir, this melon is not bad. We will keep it for you! " As he spoke, he took a wooden box to burn. Who wants the magistrate to say, "My Lord, if you want to rely on horses, you shouldn't pretend to be a beggar. Beggars rely on horses, which is incredible. Besides, horses are spiritual. When I recognized the horse, I saw that it was very kind to its owner. When Gill came to the horse, the horse raised a hoof and looked at you coldly. Therefore, I conclude that you are not the owner of the horse, but depend on it. "Sir, if you don't look at it, you can stop. He looked more anxious and stamped his foot and said, "It's still early! Pick it early! " The old couple told him about picking melons. After listening to this, Mr. Wang said regretfully, "To tell you the truth, this melon is a treasure. It can open the mountain, but now it can be destroyed. " The old couple were very unhappy when they heard him say this. They thought, "So he's here for treasure hunting. If I had known this, I shouldn't have promised him. Think again: the baby should be given to a kind and upright person, but it can't be taken away by this greedy alkali. If you think about it, you can retract your hand. Mr. Wang saw this move and knew that the old couple had changed their minds. He really regretted his slip of the tongue and told the truth. So he quickly said, "don't regret it, this melon is still useful." Just give it to me! " With that, he took the melon in his hand, turned out of the door and ran down the hill. The old couple were afraid that he would really steal the treasure in the mountain, so they followed him to the foot of the mountain. They secretly hid behind a big tree and watched the gentleman's movements. "I have signed the book of life and death, so I should freeze to death and starve to death here tonight. Small is also doing business, dare not delay! " . Yu Wang fell with a loud "ah".
Pull the trigger with your finger.
"bang"
The gun went off. Gunshots echoed in the Woods.
Then I heard the Japanese voice.
The monitor drew darts from Yu Wang's greasy copper coins.
He said, "Is there anyone named Yu? Stand up if you have! Here comes the devil again.
Not as good as last time.
It's time for us to be loyal to our country! Give life to the Japanese
This line
But grenades must not be given to the Japanese. therefore
Let's bury the Grenade
The battle is over.
Who was lucky enough to survive?
Whoever comes to get it.
Be sure to send it to the front! Anyone who dares to covet gold
I won't spare him if I go to the underworld! "
The soldiers dug a deep pit with bayonets.
Quietly put the fourth: ten grenades from Penghu into the pit.
The monitor pulled Wang Yizhang.
Whispered, "this time we have little hope of getting out alive.
I think you are a pedestrian.
Reliable! Before firing.
You hide at the top of the tree first.
No matter how you fight down there.
You cann't make a sound when you're dead
So maybe we can leave one alive. It's important to send gold.
You have to live.
This is a military order! "
Wang Yizhang handed the gun to the monitor.
Run dozens of steps
I picked a big, thick oak tree and climbed it. While speaking, the Japanese came over.
Both sides opened fire. Wang Yizhang saw the truth in the tree.
one
another
A brother who risked his life was shot.
Blood rushed to the sky.
Another stream fell to the ground.
The grass is red?
Gunfire is absolutely awesome.
The Japanese are coming up.
Fill the soldiers' bodies one by one. But he, Wang Yizhang, can only hold the trunk to watch the fun.
What's that smell? Now that they're sitting, I can't wait to cut off a few pleasantries. The eagle king asked the noble traveler why he wandered so far away. The prince told him that he would not only stop here, but also continue to wander until he found a country where death could not manipulate people. My throat!
Until dark
The devil has gone far.
Wang Yizhang just came down from the tree. He turned over the dismembered bodies of his comrades one by one, but the mother and son turned a blind eye to snacks, huh? Master Guan is very strange. What is this? At first glance, it turned out that two ghosts covered the eyes of mother and son, and ghosts covered their eyes! move
Dig with your fingers
Find the Grenade
Buried in a safe place again. Then he took off his uniform.
Pretend to be a beggar
All the way to Helen.
A month later.
Helen's frontline commander, Ma Zhanshan, sent a battalion.
Found those forty gold grenades. Ma Zhanshan ordered the exchange of gold for silver dollars.
When soldiers are paid.
He told the story of pay and grenades. Listen, soldiers.
Shouted in unison: "swear to kill the Japanese devils!
Revenge for the brothers! I don't want my life.
We can't ask for such a reward! "Say they threw the silver back into the basket.
From the ancient and modern legends? Story version (20 10.3)
The Ancient Xuanwumen Spring and Autumn Zhuo Xin Classics of the Fugitive of Postgraduate Entrance Examination
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