A sincere joke

1, the neighbor's child's name is Zhu Chuan. Every time his mother buys clothes for him, she always tells people that they are for our Zhu Chuan …

2. A buddy was lovelorn and sent a message, "Why do you feel suffocated even listening to music?"

In an instant, God replied, "Please don't wrap your headphones around your neck to listen to music."

3. When Chen cursor returned to China, he was stopped by a reporter who came in a hurry at the airport and asked, "Mr. Chen, was your acquisition of The New York Times rejected by the other party?"

Chen cursor waved and said, "You don't have to buy it. It is free on the return flight. "

4. "No money?" Huang Shiren smiled obscenity. "Then do it as usual."

"no!" Daughter cried and threw herself into Yang Bailao's arms. "Dad, I don't want to be separated from you!"

"Well, son, it's all fate ..."

Yang Bailao wiped away her daughter's tears and left with Huang Shiren.

The human potential is really immeasurable. For example, when my wife and I were traveling by car, we had an accident. My wife was pinned down by our jeep, and she was dying. I don't know where I got such great courage and strength to drive away all the ambulances and police cars that came to the rescue.

6. Passenger: I didn't expect the government to be so strict. You can also commit crimes against the wind, scalping tickets and selling high-priced tickets. Not afraid of being detained?

Ticket scalper: Grandpa left his ancestral training. In our business, we want to help others and hate ourselves. As long as there is demand in the market, we are not afraid of being cheated.

A man ran a red light. After a while, the police stopped him and asked him, Didn't you see the red light?

The man said gloomily, no, I didn't see you.

8. It turns out that heartache feels like this. Tears drop by drop, and now I feel your importance.

Mobile phone jun! How did you fall into the hands of Xiang?

9. "Even if there are ten beautiful women standing in front of me, as long as you appear, they will be dim."

"Shit, am I so radiant?"

"No, you are too fat to stop the light."

10, one day, I followed a girl upstairs. In the middle position, the beauty farted, and the time stopped for two seconds. To ease the embarrassment, I laughed and said that my hairstyle was blown out of order. .......

1 1. Today, I asked my good friend to give me some money. I gave him the card number. In the afternoon, he didn't call me, so I asked him, "Why didn't you call?"

His balls replied, your card is full and you can't get in.

12, telecommunication, Taobao, credit card fraud tricks emerge one after another, which is hard to prevent. In my personal experience, there are three secrets that have never been taken seriously for so many years: 1, which is highly vigilant; 2. Not greedy for small profits; Cary always has no money.

13 I work part-time in a restaurant. Today, a man and a woman came to buy something, about 30 yuan.

The man took out a hundred-dollar bill and gave it to me. The woman said, "I have small change. It's my treat today! " "

So I took the fifty she handed me and watched her take a hundred back and put it in the bag. . .

14, eating in the restaurant, two brothers at the next table called to pay the bill after eating, and the waiter came over. You spent 30 1.50 yuan! Then both of them began to take out their bags and said, I'll give it to me!

The waiter was hesitating who to accept, and they both said in unison, I have a dollar and a half here. ...

15, in the hotel bar, I watched a man come to pay the bill, paid the money, and immediately chased a doctor and said, Oh, I'll buy it, I'll buy it.

As a result, the one in front took the money back and said with a smile, you come, you come, and the one behind is black.