The mid-term exam is coming soon. Who can give me a joke that kills me? It is urgent. The more the better, the more incisive it must be.

Let's take a look at this:

1, I climbed the mountain with my classmates. He was bitten by a hundred-step snake. I heard that he would die if he took a hundred steps. He insisted on going down to the hospital for treatment. He only took ninety-nine steps. I thought he had only one step left to live, so I caught several snakes to bite him. After dozens of mouthfuls, he accumulated thousands of steps. But he looks more and more serious. What should I do?

Today, my girlfriend is on a business trip and told me that she bought a sexy pajamas. I said, "I miss you so much. Send me a photo. " My girlfriend asked me whether to wear photos or take them off. I was overjoyed and replied, "I took off my photo." I just received a photo of sexy pajamas hanging on a hanger at night. ...

3. A Shanxi coal boss took a Guan Gong by plane. In order to show his respect for Guan Gong, he specially bought a plane ticket for him and arranged it properly in his seat. Time is up. The plane didn't take off. After a while, the loudspeaker at the airport shouted, "Mr. Guan Yunchang, please board the plane quickly! ……"

4. A little centipede is in a bad mood. His father asked, What's the matter with you? The little centipede said, I said I was afraid you couldn't stand it. Dad: Go ahead, I can stand it. The little centipede shook his 100-odd leg and said, I want to buy Nike shoes on June 1. ....

5. I received a short message from my girlfriend one day: "Come to my house, there is no one now!" I screamed with joy and ran to her house at 10 times the speed of light. Knocked on the door for a long time and found no one!

6. There is a post on the Internet saying that 128M memory reverse interpolation can be changed to 821m.. I believed it, but I found it couldn't be inserted at all!

Then. . It's stuffed in. . It is broken. .

7. What is depression? Just hit more than 30 people, hugged a handful of hemp, stole a wallet, and my wife ran away with someone. I still smell sour porridge at home. As soon as my eyes turned, the ambulance went to the hospital and fell into the ditch!

8. A girl broke up with her boyfriend, and her classmates comforted her: "What's so good about that man? He is a civil engineer. As soon as you listen, you will know that he is both "dirt" and "wood!" Hearing this, I can't help thinking of my classmates in software engineering. . .

9. Lin Chi-ling told reporters: "My breasts are real!"

The reporter didn't believe it and asked him, "What if it's not true? ! "

Lin Chi-ling vowed: "If I lie, I will recite my name backwards in the future!"

10, first floor: Everybody calm down and come and listen to the fifth floor.

Second floor: I think the fifth floor is very reasonable.

The third floor: the fifth floor speaks the voice of the people!

Fourth floor: The fifth floor is really nice!

Fifth floor: upstairs are idiots! ! !