Please don't answer less than twenty jokes.

Two cannibals were hired into IBM, and the personnel director of the company knew that these two gangs ate people every day, so he warned them: "If you dare to eat people in the company, you will be fired immediately!" " Two cannibals reluctantly agreed that they would never eat people in the company. Two months have passed and the company is safe. Suddenly one day, the company found that the cleaner in charge of cleaning the company's hygiene was missing. So the personnel director was very angry, found two cannibals to denounce and fired them on the spot. Out of the company gate, a cannibal immediately complained to another person: "I have been warning you not to eat people who are doing things, but you just won't listen!" " We ate a manager every day for two months and no one found out. You see, now that the cleaners have been eaten, we will find out soon! You are such a pig! ! ! "2. Three explorers from the United States, Japan and China were caught by cannibals while exploring Africa. The cannibal leader was kind and decided not to eat them, but each person was fined 65,438+000 boards and allowed to make a wish. First, the American said, "Please put six cushions on my ass." The chief agreed to the American request. However, the cushion was very thin, and by the time it hit the 70th board, it was in tatters. The Americans mumbled in a trance, "Anyway, our nation is the most creative ..." Then they fainted. It's Japanese's turn. He witnessed the misery of Americans, so he begged, "Please put six mattresses on my ass." The village chief agreed to the Japanese request. After being defeated by 100, the Japanese stood up with a smile and said, "Our people are the nation with the strongest imitation! "It's China's turn. China smiled and asked," Please put that Japanese devil on my ass! "3. African virgin forests, tourists and local tour guides ... tourists: Is it safe here? Will there be cannibals? Guide: Don't worry, it's safe here. There are no cannibals in Africa. Tourist: But what if there are a few cannibals left? Guide: That's impossible. We ate the last cannibal last Monday. 4, the world apartment in the eyes of cannibals: food shelf hospital: bad food exchange center train: sausage pregnant woman: meat buns 5, fruit Three men were taken away by cannibals, and they begged cannibals to let them go. The cannibal leader said, "If you can find some fruit, I can consider letting you go." So the three men went to look for fruit respectively. The first man came back with some grapes in his hand. It turns out that the cannibal leader just wants Doby and them. He ordered his men to stuff grapes into the man's anus, and the man was miserable. The second man brought back oranges, and of course, he was doomed. Two people who were sweating and groaning with pain couldn't help laughing when they saw the third person who came back. It turned out that the third man had two huge coconuts in his hand. 6. Male soup female soup cannibals travel abroad and come to a restaurant. They were very surprised when they opened the menu. It turns out that there are two dishes in the menu called men's soup and women's soup. The cannibal thought, are there cannibals here, too? So the cannibal asked the waiter what male soup and female soup were. The waiter said, "the male soup is meatball soup" and the female soup is scallop soup ". "7. The Power of the Bible An atheist came to an undeveloped island looking for evidence of evolution. To his surprise, he found that the local aborigines were reading the Bible. "There is no God in the world, and there is no God. You got it? That's what I came here to prove. ""oh? Is it? But without God's restraint, you would have entered my stomach. "8, cannibal recipes Chu Fengfeng accidentally broke into the territory of cannibals while traveling in Africa and was captured by cannibals. The cannibal chef put Chu Feng's head tied with five flowers in front of the oil pan and asked, "What's your name? "Chu Fengtou asked," I am a dying man. What's the use of knowing my name "The chef flew into a rage:" How dare you keep silent! I don't know your name, how to write a recipe? ! "9. The menu of the cannibal restaurant: braised hunter: 15 yuan fried missionary: 20 yuan fried lady: 25 yuan raw mixed politician: 1000 yuan. Someone asked, why is the raw mixed politician so expensive? The answer is: 1. Politicians are too cunning and unpredictable. Second, politicians are the most tender meat. Third, politicians' meat is too dirty to wash. 10, Britain, America and Japan are on the same plane; Accidentally crashed and landed in Africa (it is said that cannibals sometimes haunt). Unfortunately, the three of them were caught for dinner before they could escape. When they frowned and watched the cannibals dance, they saw the leader come to inspect three sumptuous dinners ... The three of them tried to communicate with the chief with luck (of course, not with quick translation! ) They expressed it in body language and asked the chief to let go ...; The indigenous chief agreed, but gave them a question that embarrassed them (of course, it won't be the topic of this joint exam! His topic is: let three people take out the penis and measure it. If it adds up to 19cm ... release it! At this time, the British took the initiative to ask for a measurement first. Wow! Seven centimeters! Then there is 10 cm in the United States. Finally, the Japanese are two centimeters (ha! Please calculate: 7+ 10+2 = 19, right? ! The chief kept his promise and let them go. The three men ran and crawled out of the cannibal village and ran for their lives! ! Go! Go! The Japanese took a deep breath and said, Hoo! What a Li Jiazai. Just as I was measuring the length, I suddenly got excited somehow! Otherwise. 1 1. When the cannibal walked into the Japanese mixed bath, he said happily, "OK, the second bite of rice is nutritious and delicious! "12, a woman ran into a dead end under the pursuit of cannibals. The woman got her pants wet because she was afraid. When the cannibal saw it, he cursed, "What a fucking pity! The soup is spilled! "13, after giving birth to the child, the cannibal should first hold the child to her husband and politely say," Eat while it is hot! "14, bless the rich cannibals to take their sons to travel abroad. On the plane, the son asked his father, "Why are there so many people on the plane?" Dad replied, "God bless us forever. "Son: Can I eat that plane? Father: Planes are similar to lobsters. You must peel the skin and eat the meat inside. 15, Harvest When the World Cup in France was in full swing, cannibals came to the football field and saw the scene of overcrowding. They couldn't help shouting, "What a bumper harvest this year! "16, an explorer went to explore the Amazon basin and was accidentally caught by cannibals. The explorer suddenly discovered that the chief not only spoke English, but even graduated from Cambridge University. He suddenly breathed a sigh of relief and thought he had finally escaped. He asked the chief, "Surely the education level of your people has been greatly improved ... The chief replied," Of course, we have started to use knives and forks when we eat people. "17, a cannibal and his son went out to look for food. They hide in thick haystacks, waiting for their prey to come. Soon, a thin boy passed by, and the son of the patriarch asked his father, "Dad, how about this?" "The patriarch replied," No, this boy is too thin to eat! " Soon, a fat man passed by, and the son of the patriarch asked his father, "Dad, how is this fat man?" The patriarch replied, "No, this is too fat. Eating it will increase cholesterol!" " Soon, a beautiful woman passed by, and the son of the patriarch asked his father, "Dad, how is this beautiful woman?" The patriarch replied, "Wow! Great, let's take this beautiful woman home! " The son of the patriarch asked his father, "Do we have any food?" The patriarch replied, "Yes, cook your mother!" 18, an explorer traveled to Africa alone and accidentally met a cannibal in the wild. The explorer was surrounded by cannibals. In desperation, he shouted at the sky: "God! Help me, if this continues, I will die! " At this time, a voice came from the sky: "Don't worry! You may not be dead yet, so throw a stone at the chief! " According to God's instructions, the explorer picked up a big stone and threw it at the chief, who was killed. The other cannibals froze for a while, and then they began to glare at the explorer! Another voice came from the sky: "Now, you are really dead!" " Campus joke 4 1, teacher, your parents are coming to take you home! ! Think of a mother, my mother used to be a kindergarten teacher, and their kindergarten is a week nursery, which means going home once a week, so every Friday students are very excited, waiting for their parents to pick you up. Usually get up in the morning and start waiting at the class gate. When their parents came, they shouted: XXX, your father (or mother) is coming to pick you up! ! Then the children who are picked up will be picked up in the envious eyes of everyone. That Friday, my brother and I went to pick up my mother from work. Before I got to the door, I heard a child shouting: teacher, hurry up, your parents are coming to pick you up! ! My brother and I are all black lines ... 2. A group of classmates are all cattle B, and our biology teacher is a newly graduated chick. She looks very good! In the final exam, biology was the first in our class, and she was cruel and happy. This is naive. ...................................... went to study at night one day, and she gave us the last person's blood type! Teacher: Which one of you is type B blood? Student: I am .................! Teacher: Which one of you is a cow? Student: I am .................! The teacher raised her mother's finger and cried, then these students are Niu B! I had a terrible experience in ..................... on the spot. 3. Reading Birds is a sculpture in the new building of a university: a girl holds a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The name is publicly collected from students outside the school, and many people's slogans coincide-reading a bird is for use! 4, the child is simple ... When I was in junior high school, a boy wanted to copy a girl's homework. I was afraid that people would disagree. After she left the classroom, she turned over her schoolbag and pulled out a sanitary napkin. He was surprised and said, "Wow! What a big band-aid! " 5. Are these two keys pressed at the same time? When I first went to college, it was very special. The teacher once again asked me to show ppt, which I had never used before. It happened that I was the first to speak, and the projector didn't respond after turning on the computer for a long time. The guy below shouted press F2, press F2! So I hesitated and asked: Are these two keys pressed at the same time?