Two jokes within 40 words

I have no doubt about success, and my passion will always be surging! In the morning, I went to a foreign company for a job interview and took the elevator downstairs. The elevator stopped at a certain floor, the door opened, and I saw a sexy girl in sexy clothes. She was holding a brand-name handbag in one hand and holding the elevator door with the other. She was leaning forward and asked me in a provocative tone: Is it lewd enough? I controlled the turbulent thoughts and analyzed calmly. Foreign companies are different, and their female employees are open-minded. No wonder some people say that we are at least thirty years behind them. This sentence makes sense. I said calmly: "It's a bit lewd, but I like it." I know the way I say this must be cool too! As a Chinese son and daughter with integrity who are influenced by traditional culture, we must work hard to change our thinking in the face of the trend of the new era and cannot be willing to fall behind. Suddenly the girl slammed her bag at me and said: You gangster! ... ... ... ... It wasn't until night that I woke up. It turned out that what she said was: Going Down? This little incident made me determined to overcome all difficulties and strive to adapt to the new trend of mixing Chinese and English in the first 20 years of this century

Buyers and sellers on Taobao:

1. Buyer : Boss, may I ask you a question? Mainland China bank, Hong Kong bank, Asia Pacific bank, European bank, which one has better quality?

Seller: It’s all the same, he’s the best!

Buyer: Down!

2. Buyer: Can the boss meet to trade?

Seller: Where are you?

Buyer: Wuhan

Seller: I am in Shenzhen, would you like to come over?

Buyer: How can I get away?

Seller: You can’t live without that hot land?

Buyer:?

Seller: Land with hot dry noodles

Buyer:. . . . . . . . . . .

3. Buyer: Boss, which mobile phone is the most durable?

Seller: There are only relatively durable ones, not absolutely durable ones

Buyers: Why?

Seller: Have you ever seen anyone with an ancestral mobile phone?

Buyer: Dizzy. . . . . . .

4. Buyer: Brother, tell me the difference between smart phones and non-smart phones! ?

Seller: Take the alarm clock as an example. A normal mobile phone will make an alarm when the time comes, and you won’t care whether you wake up or not. A smart phone will call the leader of your unit to ask for leave if the alarm does not wake you up.

Buyer: Oh. . . . . . . . . .

5. Buyer: How much does it cost?

Seller: 2560

Buyer: Will you sell 2000?

Seller: Okay, does it support Alipay? Give me a dozen

Buyer: What?

Seller: I think your price is more affordable.

6. Buyer: Brother, I think you are so cool

Seller: Needless to say, go check out the community. I am one of the top ten coolest sellers this year.

Buyer: Halo, there are reviews for this too!

Seller: Of course, which industry is not the most advanced?

Buyer:.........

7. Buyer: Boss, Do you make money selling mobile phones?

Seller: That’s quite profitable

Buyer: How much can you earn in a month?

Seller: You buy a mobile phone first, let me make some money first, pay for yesterday’s meal and then tell you

8. Buyer: Boss, we can’t get here Express, is there any way to deliver it faster?

Seller: You rent a phone and airdrop it

9. Buyer: Boss, does this phone have red color?

Seller: No, the manufacturer has never produced it

Buyer: Hey, I am a girl who wants to be popular, what should I do?

Seller: You can customize it

Buyer: Really, how much does it cost?

Seller: It doesn’t cost much at all, the minimum order is 5,000 units

Buyer: Oh, thank you, I’ll think about it again

Seller: Okay, I’ve thought about it and brought enough money

10. Buyer: Do you have a MOTO 998?

Seller: Sorry, I’m not a collector

11. Buyer: Can I still ship the goods today?

Seller: It should be no problem

Buyer: I heard there was a typhoon over there

Seller: Yes, it was particularly severe the past few days

Buyer: How powerful is it?

Seller: After a typhoon, farmers in our suburbs have to go to the roof with a ladder to fetch water

Buyer: Why?

Seller: His well was blown to the roof!

Buyer: Ah! ?

12. Buyer: Boss, your N73 only sells for 500 yuan? I'll buy one.

Seller: OK.

Buyer: I recently heard that there are scammers online, right?

Seller: That’s for sure

Buyer: Oh, tell me what are its characteristics?

Seller: I don’t have time to summarize the characteristics, but the person who was deceived must have one characteristic

Buyer: What?

Seller: I believe pie will fall from the sky

13. Buyer: After selling the mobile phone, how do you ensure the quality?

Seller: Pray

14. Buyer: How much does it cost to use EMS?

Seller: 20

Buyer: Is it the post office? By weight? Just one card reader and so many?

Seller: The taxi will not charge you the starting price just because the distance is short

15. Buyer: How much is it?

Seller: 1780

Buyer: Why is it so cheap? I’m a little worried

Seller: Let’s do this. In order to avoid unnecessary worries on your part, I’ll be a little more involved. , I will change it to 1980

Buyer: ........................

16 , Buyer: Boss, I want to buy a mobile phone for my girlfriend, please recommend it

Seller: Just find a suitable one

Buyer: But her request Quite high

Seller: Then just listen to her, men should be more cruel to women

Buyer: Haha...

17. Buyer: Boss, how much does this phone weigh?

Seller: More than 60 grams

Buyer: Hey, everything else is good, I just think it’s too light

Seller: You can tie it to a dumbbell and use it

Buyer:..........

Funny comment:

Qingzhi Slimming Capsules 400mg*60 capsules

Negative review [Details] Liar, I took a picture of one bottle.

But he gave one pill. Anyone who can lose weight after taking just one pill is a fraud. 2007.04.03 19:50

Explanation:

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know until yesterday. The courier salesman I used is a rat!

Fashionable handbags for summer

Negative review [Details] The seller’s service is not good. Although I know you are busy, you don’t have to talk to me every time. It’s so simple, no, It's just good. I said it word for word. It's very disrespectful, so I give it a bad review. 2007.01.10 18:22

Explanation:

Bah

Exquisite European imported chocolate

Negative review [Details] Chocolate is 3 late The genius arrived, and it was broken when it arrived, causing me to have a fight with my boyfriend 2007.02.12 15:32

Explanation:

Hitting is affection, scolding is love, really No kicking.

Traditional Chinese medicine beauty and slimming porridge

Negative review [Details] No effect at all!!!! 2006.09.14 08:48

Explanation:

Not telling the truth at all!

Koala Toy Tree Bag Hug Bear

Negative review [Details] The name on the mailing list was written incorrectly 2006.11.01 02:42

Explanation:

Wow, this is a bad review, so I will write it a few more times. . Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua,

Verbena--slimming, treating headaches

Negative review [Details] Why is your verbena different from other people’s? 2007.02.02 14:21

Explanation:

Why do you look different from others?

Alarm clock/bedside clock/round biscuit clock

Negative review [Details] I haven’t shopped online for a long time because I was often fooled, but this time I couldn’t help myself and bought it. This watch turned out to be fooled again. What on earth are you doing? 2005.02.13 14:29

Explanation:

Ma Sanli said: "Just kidding!"

Chinese lady Tang suit discount price

Negative review [Details] After so long, you still ignore me, so I have to give you a negative review! ! ! 2007.01.23 19:44

Explanation:

What a shame, I was sick and hospitalized. I just came back from the hospital, and it seems I have to be hospitalized again.

Wild hazelnuts

Negative review [Details] The hazelnut shell is very hard. After eating this pound, my teeth almost fell out. In order to increase the weight, I charged more for postage and put it in the box. Put a broken piece of iron in it. 2006.12.03 01:51

Explanation:

Look carefully at the piece of iron to see if there is a screw in the middle. If you look further down, is there a slit in the middle? Along this Sew it apart with force---this broken piece of iron is a special plier for you to clamp hazelnut shells!

Laitingbao natural breast enhancement

Negative review [Details] This advertisement is not consistent with the actual effect, please keep your eyes open. 2006.09.13 00:02

Explanation:

This evaluation is not consistent with the actual situation. Please keep your eyes open.

Herbal formula - safe weight loss

Negative review [Details] The actual situation of taking it is completely different from the description on the Internet, and there is no effect as stated in the instructions. After taking it, I feel flustered, anorexia, and sleepiness. No, it has no effect at all 2007.03.22

14:205

Explanation:

Lying~~The side effects are exactly as described!

Item name: The latest Korean fashion sexy MM top

Negative review: Not bad, I like it!

Explanation: Doesn’t your husband like it?

p>

Item name: Inner Mongolia air-dried beef jerky/35 yuan

Medium rating [Details] There is a big gap between the description and the goods 2006.05.30 09:41

Explanation : Don’t be a human being but be kind!

Item name: Rich Fruit Basket--12 kinds of fruits

Medium rating [Details] Some fruits are still too ripe2006.05.10 14:49

Explanation: According to your mother's request, I sent you ripe fruits. They can only be stored for 3 or 5 days after receiving them. They can be stored in the refrigerator for a longer time. (Remember to ask your mother for evaluation next time. ). Eat.2006.04.04 16:56

Explanation: Haosi, that’s the white chocolate I gave you. The chewing gum is wrapped in the newspaper below. You won’t throw it in the trash can, right? Go look for it

Item name: Maggie pure cotton compressed paper film

Medium rating

*Successful transaction without using Alipay

[Details] Nothing

Explanation: Nothing is what! ! What is nothing! ! There is nothing to do for the middle review! ! What a person! ! Crazy! ! !

Item name: Ou Shiman—30g Pearl Hydrating Moisturizing Eye Cream

Negative review [Details] How to return the goods?

Explanation: It’s wrong. After taking the photo, I paid for it. I haven't paid for it, and I haven't shipped it yet. How can I talk about a return?

Item name: 5-piece set of Yiguo kitchen knives

Negative review [Details] What is it? Use it a little. Not happy, bad review ##

Explanation: You are a nymphomaniac, you want to drag men on the street, I despise you! !

Item name: 500 grams of cored plums

Medium rating [Details] Why did the crispy plums turn into plums? It doesn’t match what I want at all. 2006.03.19 20:19

Explanation: It probably took a long time to make it. It’s the same and delicious.

Item name: *Earrings*Bird Earrings

Neutral review [Details] Why is there no response to the positive reviews? Try the neutral reviews.

Explanation: How can this be possible? Hey, your computer can upgrade: (very, very depressing

Item name: Crystal ball

Bad: ball The ball is good, why didn’t you give me the bottom seat in the photo?

Explanation: That’s my LG’s ashtray.

Mediocre review

Mr. XX's service attitude is very good. But the quality of the goods is obviously fake, and I don't know what they are made of, so I don't dare to use them.

Explanation:

It doesn’t matter, it can be used. Others retail our products and they still sell well

Although the medium review still failed~~ But thank you~~ [Details] --2004.08.29 20:45

Explanation:

What failed? It's you who took the photo but didn't buy it~~ I really can't stand it

Bad reviews: Sorry, I won't exchange for good reviews. [Details] --2004.04.29 15:22

Explanation: When did I exchange good reviews with you? Really! Wicked! !

Bad review: Before the remittance: enthusiastic + patient + sincere, which made me very happy; after the remittance: cold-hearted + cruel + desperate, deceived me so sad. The YY purchased is completely different from the YY received (style and color). No exchange, no return, no refund. There is no credit worth tens of dollars. Meeting one such seller is enough. When shopping online, you have to be careful. I don’t know what kind of reason the seller will make up to justify it. [Details] --2004.09.10 22:04

Explanation:

Miss, did you send the wrong message? !

Zhongping: The pearl necklace is good, the ring is also pretty, the pillow feels good, and the mobile phone pendant is also good. I like them all, but it would be nice if the seller had a better attitude.

Explanation: I don’t have the ones you bought in my store? I guess you must be a very rich person to buy so many things at once...

Platinum-plated necklace *9 yuan~

My girlfriend’s rating is “medium” Average”

Explanation:

Buy her a diamond ring!

The attitude of the praise is not good, but the things are okay, [Details] --2004.12.03 13:31

Explanation:

When do I have a bad attitude towards you? Okay, I don’t know why, but do you think it’s better for me to say I love you? ?

Medium rating: I didn’t buy it

Explanation: Alas!