A joke in the countryside

The three of them first took their respective musical instruments and sang the tune of "Supporting the Army and Flower Drum" as they walked.

I have been in government college for three years, and I am studying document management. I'm proficient in blowing and pulling. I have mastered the skills and taken root at the grassroots level. I have mastered the skills and taken root at the grassroots level. Jump up, just like yangko, one person retreats and two people enter, then advance and retreat repeatedly, and then the shape is two highs and one low. ) At this time, the monitor went up: Oh, you three stop. (Henan accent)

Three people stand at attention and shout:

Hello, monitor!

Monitor: What are you three doing? I called you here today to rehearse the three and a half sentences of the New Year's Day party. Before the rehearsal, three requirements are put forward: the first one is ... (pay attention to communication with the audience)

A: (suddenly hitting the instrument) Emotion! (In an inquiring tone, I'm afraid the monitor will blame himself for being talkative.)

Monitor: (startled) What are you typing? Are you trying to scare me to death? ..... Second. ...

B: (also suddenly knocking) the atmosphere. (showing off)

Monitor: I know! The third one is-

C: (a knock) rhythm!

Monitor: Yes! You all know?

The three men said together, "monitor, who doesn't know this?" (disdain eyes. This conversation is very funny, and three people tease the monitor.

A: Monitor, that's the universal formula that Director Chen taught us. It can be used at parties. Can it be used in our small program?

B: If you ask me, just one word: fire.

C: I can say two words: "lively".

Monitor: well, I think it's just three words: practice "quick, quick and careful"! (Watch the fashion show)

Qi: Monitor, are those three words?

Monitor: I just want to say three words. Cut the crap and go-

(Opening drum, after one lap) (Pay attention to the tone and rhythm after getting into the topic)

A: You ring the gong and I'll ring the hairpin.

The monitor leads the three of us.

C: Let's see who is handsome today.

Monitor: Me!

(qi: ah! ? The feeling that the monitor was bypassed-)

Monitor: Stop! What a mess. Start over. Get to the point.

A: Three years is a good time.

The star of the crown shines.

C: better than the morning star.

Monitor: Thief Bright

(Drums. The same below)

A: Cultural life is very interesting.

B: Writing and acting are very interesting.

C: reading two treasures in classic prose

Monitor: Block!

A: Ancient music has a strong charm (this passage is modeled)

B: The piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are all beautiful.

C: The sea of clouds dances with swords to invite the bright moon.

Monitor: Sao

A: A letter from home is worth a ton of gold.

B: I am very tempted every time I see it.

Have a crush on someone (shy)

(Party A and Party B ask Party C softly: Who is it? )

Monitor: Red Army!

Host Li Hongbo.

He talked about big and small parties.

C: live broadcast on the art channel.

Monitor: This (thumbs up)

Who is the singer?

B: His voice is better than that of Song Zu Ying.

C: Ask her to sign it after graduation.

Monitor: My pleasure!

A: You are good at lips and mouth.

They are good at laughing.

C: To ensure your old age. (Party A and Party B ask at the same time: Is it the elixir? )

Monitor: A panacea!

A: Before class, there are new tricks for entertainment.

B: A Chinese Odyssey was well performed.

C: * * Skilled makeup is the ultimate treasure.

Monitor: Nonsense.

(Everyone agrees that it is lively! )

School days will be full of hope.

B: Experts can help us expand our business.

C: seize the opportunity to check the shortcomings.

Monitor: Tai Po! (hurry up! After the gongs and drums, sing the first song. )

2. Ouch, wife!

(sketch)

Man: ouch! Wife! Wife! Oh, hey! My good wife! (Female wrings male ear) Female: Better!

Man: My little old man ~ ~ ~.

Woman: Hmm ~ ~ ~

Man: My little baby! Can you let me in? I just made a big mistake. You must let me in!

W: I don't think you can tell clearly outside, let alone inside. Chief engineer, this is a home, not a hotel. you

You can come back if you want, but I don't want to. I haven't seen you for over a week. You must make it clear today, do you want your branch or me?

Do you have to ask? Substation, of course!

Woman: What?

M: Why do I need a substation? I want you! ! I want you! ! I tell you, I haven't slept for three days and nights. Please let me in. I am so sleepy!

Woman: Are you sleepy? I can hear the second son in your work area say that Gong Li's spirit comes first, and everyone else is asleep at their desks. Only you have been talking to that female engineer for hours without blinking.

Man: Isn't that at the scene?

Woman: Then you can stay at the scene! I knew you valued the scene more than I did!

Man: I tell you, I'm really impatient if you go on like this! I'm running away from home!

Woman: Slow down! I won't send it!

Man: hey ~ ~ ~ I tell you, I'm barefoot today. I am wearing pajamas. I'm going to visit Lijin intersection. I, I, I am alone. I was yelling in the street. Comrades who pay attention to the women's Federation. Take care of your lesbian! Kicked my husband out. It's amazing. Nobody cares. Why?

Woman: I know you are loud, shout!

Man: Are you sure you won't let me in?

M: Then I really have to go!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (male, directly entering the door)

Woman: Yo! You're getting fat! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Go out, go out, go out ~ ~ (Women drive out)

Man: Come on, wife, stop it! What the hell is it! You kicked me out without saying a word?

Woman: What's the matter? You haven't been home for over a week. You finally came home, covered in dust, like a periophthalmus. Listen, I washed it for nothing.

Man: Honey, I've been staring at the foundation at the scene for over a week. I came from the wind and went in the rain. I deal with reinforced concrete every day, so there can't be dust! I'm not the only one, so there are engineering students in our work area, which one is not! !

Woman: Oh! Then I came back and fell asleep, sleeping like a dead pig! I cooked a table full of food, and you didn't even look at it. This is also a job need?

Man: Wife, you wronged me again! You said that in order to meet the summer peak, almost all of these people in our work area patrol the equipment during the day, fearing that the temperature is too high, and even patrol at night, fearing that equipment problems will affect the safety production of the branch. It is often that they go to several classes alone, so I finally come back here and watch the bed close to the bed, especially sleeping! I said, is that why you helped me out of bed and kicked me out?

Woman: Hey! exactly

M: Then I'll eat it now. Can't I eat?

Woman: That's more like it!

Man: Where are my shoes? It's killing me (Looking for shoes, wearing shoes) Wearing shoes is still comfortable. What are you doing? (Women prepare red wine)

Woman: Guess!

Your birthday?

Woman: No!

Man: My birthday?

Woman: Get out!

Man: I forgot, I forgot (slapping my forehead) ~ ~ Today is our second wedding anniversary, right? I forgot. I have no idea. I am really busy. Too busy to remember.

Woman: I've been busy for two years. You tell me that every year. What did you say last year? The task of substation incoming line project is heavy. What did you say this year? The task of meeting the peak in summer is tight. Next year, see what excuse you find!

Man: What a good excuse! Then I am really busy. It's not like you don't know In recent years, the business of our branch is booming. New substations are one after another, and new lines are one after another. In summer, with continuous high temperature and frequent rainstorm, we have to be very careful. We are afraid of danger. The leaders of our branch often go deep into the front line to personally inspect, and I am embarrassed to run back by myself, especially I am party member!

Woman: You are so busy! You are busier than the director!

Man: I'm always busy!

Woman: alas! Then why don't you be a director!

M: Don't worry! Isn't this coming soon?

Woman: Please, it's not easy to go home now. What will it be like to be an official? (Want to go out)

Man: I'm an official, I'm an official! I want to be an official. Who will choose me? You are not even an assistant to the deputy head of the party group. Look at people's wealth, you are still a grandson. I am really busy. Don't say that. Not yet 12. Shall I accompany you to dinner? Secretary 1 14 original

Woman: What to eat! I am so angry! (Want to go out)

Man: ouch! Please, stop it, okay! There is no family like you! Ah! Look at Lao Zhao in our work area and his wife! I heard from Lao Zhao that when Lao Zhao came home, his wife was very enthusiastic about him. As soon as he entered the room, his daughter-in-law knelt on the ground, thumped her head, washed her feet and massaged her back. How considerate!

Woman: Who said that? According to my sister-in-law, when Lao Zhao came home, he walked around him, rubbing against him while turning.

Man: Is that Lao Zhao?

Woman: That's their dog. Anyway, Lao Zhao is not like you.

The phone rang ~ ~ ~

M: Hello! Lao Zhao! We were just talking about you! Oh, no, no, no, not you, your dog! Huh? What? Your wife kicked you out, too? Why? Because I never go home! Go home and sleep! Oh, you said, hey! (Female, grabbed the microphone)

Woman: Lao Zhao! Kicked out by my sister-in-law? How is that possible?

3. "Three sentences and a half lines in the army" comes from the 24-hour secretary network. Welcome to read three sentences and a half lines of the army.

Really put the goods in, wash them frequently and rinse them clean, and make more efforts to ensure the quality.

Really kill the chicken with the fish, not afraid of dirty and tired, and take the trouble to cook well.

Workers are not energetic until they are full. The first thing is to be hard, but it is not enough to coax their stomachs every day. We must eat enough.

The waiter ran before and after, smiling, thoughtful and enthusiastic, and the service was good.

Hot dishes are always steaming, cold dishes are always clear, both men and women are satisfied, and they are well matched.

The red flower on the chest is really brilliant. There are two and a half cookhouse squads, not newcomers but models. That's right.

Who are the two halves, Genhu Guobao and Meiqin, Ji Cai plus Wu Ruihong and five model workers?

They are the pillars of the canteen, serving Yaxin without regrets, and it is not easy to leave them at work.

Everyone did a good job. We didn't wear red flowers this time. Be sure to grab it next time and strive for a model.

Hundreds of people are different, and it is normal for everyone to have differences. If you have opinions, pull them and criticize them more.

The canteen service is reviewed, and the good and bad are mentioned more. The service must be improved and improved.

In order to make * * better, the canteen should take the lead first, and the model flag can't fall!

In order to make * * more brilliant, the work is not afraid of continuous rotation, and the service is supreme! Make contributions!

4. Three sentences and a half lines of military sketches

Time is tight in our canteen, and the program is not well prepared. Please bite the bullet and wipe it clean. Stop joking.

* * Although I started late, my leg was broken. I stood in the front row for two years and developed rapidly.

There are seven or eight hundred employees in the whole factory. They come with Lazar to eat and drink. If the service is not good, they will mess up the food, which is a big deal.

Production and war are classics, and the soldiers and horses have not moved the grain and grass line. Tell us about our cooking soldiers. Let's go

The master worker is busy with production, and the cookhouse squad will not stand and watch. You can have a rest meal, no problem.

The cooking team is forced, everyone can do it, and the knives and spoons are fast, and there are many Aauto faster.

Master, don't underestimate, each has his own skills, and frying and frying are all sophisticated.

Really put the goods in, wash them frequently and rinse them clean, and make more efforts to ensure the quality.

Really kill the chicken with the fish, not afraid of dirty and tired, and take the trouble to cook well.

Workers are not energetic until they are full. The first thing is to be hard, but it is not enough to coax their stomachs every day. They should be full.

The waiter ran before and after, smiling, thoughtful and enthusiastic, and the service was good.

Hot dishes are always steaming, cold dishes are always clear, both men and women are satisfied, and they are well matched.

The red flower on the chest is really brilliant. There are two and a half cookhouse squads, not newcomers but models. That's right.

Who are the two halves, Genhu Guobao and Meiqin, Ji Cai plus Wu Ruihong and five model workers?

They are the pillars of the canteen, serving Yaxin without regrets, and it is not easy to leave them at work.

Everyone did a good job. We didn't wear red flowers this time. Be sure to grab it next time and strive for a model.

Hundreds of people are different, and it is normal for everyone to have differences. If you have opinions, pull them and criticize them more.

The canteen service is reviewed, and the good and bad are mentioned more. The service must be improved and improved.

In order to make * * better, the canteen should take the lead first, and the model flag can't fall!

In order to make * * more brilliant, the work is not afraid of continuous rotation, and the service is supreme! Make contributions!