Take your sister to dinner. Tell a humorous joke.

After the mid-term exam, the math teacher will announce the results. He said:

"There are as many people with more than 90 points as those with more than 80 points; There are as many people over 80 as over 70. "

At the beginning of the conversation, the whole class cheered, and a classmate asked, "So ... how many people failed?"

The teacher replied easily, "There are as many people who fail in the class."

Smile in the underworld

Once in a Chinese class, the teacher wanted to know the Chinese level of this overseas Chinese student.

Just ask him some related idioms.

"Can you say an idiom to describe a person who is very happy? 』

The Chinese teacher gave a question and said, "However, this idiom had better have a number.

Such as one, two, three, four ... "

Overseas Chinese thought for a moment and said happily:

I see, "smile in the grave"!

Ha! What a "Laughing Jiuquan"! The whole class laughed, old Chinese teacher,

I almost passed out.

English

Once, a tutor of a junior high school student found the following terrible words in his English textbook:

Dad died (bus)

I'm dead (yes)

The girl is dead (girl)

Sister passed away (Mis? )

......

Death ray (school)

practised

The professor is having an ethics class. He told his classmates how to remind others of some embarrassing things.

"For example, if you see a girl with grass clippings on her ass, you should be polite.

Say, "Girl, you have cut grass on your shoulder". The girl looked back and then looked down-she saw it. "

At this time, a female student raised her hand and stood up and said, "Professor, the zipper of your tie is open!" " "

African wild boar

The biology teacher is describing the appearance of African wild boar on the stage with great interest.

Occasionally, I glanced from the stage and found that most of my classmates were dozing off. So Dawei

He shouted angrily, "Look at me! Don't look at me. How do you know?

What does African wild boar look like? "

philosophy department

A gentleman graduated from the philosophy department of Duff University. I can't find a job after graduation and have been unemployed at home. One day,

A college classmate introduced him to work in Muka Zoo, and he went happily. There used to be one in the zoo.

The tiger got sick temporarily and was sent to the hospital. He was asked to put on tiger skin for the time being. He thinks that no one can recognize him anyway.

Yes, I agreed. I put on my tiger skin and went into the animal cage. I dutifully walked around pretending to be a tiger, and soon I got to the animal cage.

When I opened it, a tiger came in. He was so scared that he retreated to the corner. The tiger kept approaching him. ..

..... Finally back to no way back, the tiger spoke. ..

"Dude, don't be afraid! I am from the philosophy department of National Taiwan University! "

Concise and to the point.

My middle school deskmate is famous for her simplicity. One day, there was a group meeting in the class, and it was unbearable.

Finally, I asked your opinion. When asked about him, he replied, "I have to pee." . ?

antithetical couplet

The Chinese teacher explained couplets on the stage, for example, "Once upon a time, a newspaper publicly requested Nantong.

As a result, many letters were submitted, and one sentence was quite right.

Ok, that's "East Pawnshop, West Pawnshop, East Pawnshop for Things". At this time, a naughty student

Suddenly I cried: "Boys and girls, boys and girls, boys and girls, boys and girls. 」

polygraph

Dad has a polygraph. He asked Dehua, "How was your math today?"

Dehua replied: "A" polygraph rang!

Dehua added: "Machine B is ringing, too!

Dehua said, "C" machine rang again!

Dad shouted angrily, "I got an A before!" "

At this moment, the polygraph overturned!

calculate

An invigilator is staring at a student throwing dice in surprise. Strangely enough, .....

The student threw the same question several times. ....

He asked the students why.

The student replied helplessly: Is it too difficult to check?

professor

"I brought a frog today," the professor of zoology said to the students. "I just came from

Caught it in the pond. In this lesson, we will dissect frogs. "

He took out a paper box and opened it carefully. There is a ham sandwich in the box.

"Strange," the professor was very surprised. "I clearly remember having lunch together.

Lie down and talk.

One night, a boy's dormitory slept until three o'clock in the morning and suddenly wanted to discuss a question: "I met someone."

Pretty girl, what should I say first? A gentleman woke up from a dream and said, "Stop talking and let's go to bed!" " "

cheat

"Polonius was fired for cheating."

"What's the matter?"

"In the physical examination, he counted his ribs and was found."

Teacher Tsinghua.

A young teacher in Tsinghua loves mahjong. Once, he played mahjong all night. Play mahjong at 7:40 the next morning.

There is a class. He got off the mahjong table at 7: 30 and hurried to the fourth teacher's class. It happened that the student on duty that day didn't clean the blackboard.

He shouted, "Who is that farmer?" The students on duty did not dare to answer, so they had to clean themselves, but

Unable to find the eraser, he shouted again, "Where did you put the whiteboard?" .....

This is a Chinese class. When talking about new words, the teacher picked up the chalk and wrote "China" on the blackboard.

Then he said, "Students, please look at the whiteboard. There is a red middle on it. "

taste

The Chinese teacher was very angry when he found Zhang San sleeping in class. He woke Zhang San up and asked: How do you sleep in class?

However, Zhang San refused to admit to sleeping.

Zhang San: I didn't sleep.

Teacher: Then why do you close your eyes?

Zhang San: Teacher, I am reading the text silently.

The teacher didn't believe me and said, then why do you nod straight?

Zhang San: Teacher, you speak very well.

The teacher still didn't believe it and said, then why are you drooling?

Zhang San: Teacher, your class is very interesting.

Every day has a good turn for the better.

The teacher asked two students, "Did you do good things every day today? 」

The two students said in unison, "Yes! 」

The teacher asked, "What did you do? 」

Student: "We helped an old lady cross the street. 」

Teacher: "Well, it's fine, but why do you need two people to help an old lady cross the street?" 」

Student: "Because the old lady doesn't want to cross the road. 」

I see

When the school travels once a year, boys and girls in junior high school always come to play separately because of their different interests. Girls wear it.

Walking around in a bathing suit, showing yourself and enjoying the sunshine. The boy rolled up his trousers and caught it in the water.

Fish.

A teacher who looked after these children sighed, "I don't remember when I was in junior high school, were girls like this?"

Mature. "

"Sure, but you are busy catching small fish!" Another teacher said drily.

In class, a classmate is watching cartoons.

The teacher found out and asked, what are you doing?

"I'm looking for something. 」

"Looking for? 」

"Look, look ..."

The students next door answered and made excuses.

History teacher: Why did you leave early?

Barry: I have an important appointment.

History teacher: Is history more important or girlfriend more important?

Barry: If I'm late again, she'll be history! ! !

History teacher: @ # # $%%

surface tension

Two biochemists were sitting in front of the laboratory drinking coffee, and a beautiful woman walked by.

The old biochemist saw the dementia expression on his colleague's face.

She said, like us, more than 75% is water.

Colleagues still look stupid and say, yes, but look at the surface tension!

Team coach

This is what my professor told us. He used to teach in America. Some players never study, but neither does the university.

I want to graduate, and then I can join the professional basketball team to play nba. After retiring, I often go back to my alma mater as a team coach.

There is a student (let's call him Jordan) who will graduate soon, but calculus can't pass anyway, so he can't graduate and play nb.

Ah! So he asked his coach, who is also the coach of the school team, to intercede for him.

Coach: "Professor, please let Jordan live. The nba has been waiting for him for a long time! 」

Professor: "All right! Since the coaches have come to intercede, I will give you one last chance. "

"How much is one plus one? 」

Jordan immediately replied without thinking, "Two."

Coach: "Professor, please give him another chance! 」

Remember to brush your teeth! !

One day in the biological experiment, I observed my saliva cells, looked at them with a microscope and recorded them. Just when everyone was in high spirits.

I screamed when I carefully observed and studied. Ah ~ it was originally sent by the beauty teaching assistant ... the professor thinks it happened.

What happened, so he ran to look at her microscope. After that, he told her: remember to brush your teeth next time you finish your work.

Rinse your mouth! !

sex education

One day. Xiaoming came home from class sadly.

Mom asked Xiaoming: What's the matter?

Xiao Ming replied: Xiaohua in the class knows where he is from. But I don't even know

Mom thinks it's time to tell Xiaoming about the relationship between men and women and make a correct sex education by the way.

Mother began to tell Xiaoming that boys fell in love with girls. Then get married ... talk about how sperm and eggs meet.

Mother told Xiaoming everything she knew.

When my mother finished the satisfactory teaching.

Xiao Ming is still at a loss. Look at mom. A little tears dripping from the corner of my eye said:

Xiaohua said that he came from Yilan. But after listening to my mother, I still don't know where I come from.

In class, a teacher is introducing Japanese surname habits to students.

She said: "If there is the word" Taro "in the Japanese name, then he must be the eldest son, if there is one in his name.

The word' Jiro', then he must be the second son ... Next, who can give a Japanese such a name? "

A student stood up and answered loudly: Isoroku Yamamoto.

The teacher was giving a lecture when a little boy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I want to shit."

The teacher told the students, "You can say it in another civilized way."

The student thought for a moment and said, "teacher, my ass wants to vomit."

A student asked the teacher how to write the word dung, but the teacher forgot for a moment and had to say:

"It's on my lips. Why can't I get out?"

My brother is in the fourth grade of primary school. He is so fat that people often make fun of him.

One day, the teacher asked one of their classmates to start writing down "what they do for their family every day" in the contact book.

My brother couldn't figure it out, so my mother had to help him fill it out. She is in the address book.

I wrote: "Help my family eat every day. 」

The teacher's comment is: "I can see that you are working hard!" 」

The way men think.

High flyers Miller, an agronomy major in a university, returned to his hometown in the summer vacation. A neighbor's wife wanted to raise chickens and get rich, so she came to ask him about Miller's research.

All kinds of data such as chicken house and chicken food told her that it is more appropriate to raise about 30 hens and one or two cocks. At the end of the summer vacation, Miller wants to see it.

See how his "idea" works. But he froze in front of the henhouse. There are 30 hens and 30 big cocks in it. "too.

Similarly, it only takes one or two cocks to raise 30 hens. Too many cocks can't lay eggs, but waste food. ""You mean, let one or two?

How many hens does a rooster have? "The neighbor's wife blushed and said yes. ""that's just what you men think, I won't do it! "

begin

At the graduation ceremony, the headmaster announced that the first student in the whole grade came to the stage to receive the prize, but after several consecutive phone calls, that

Only a few students walked slowly onto the stage. Later, the teacher asked the students, "What's the matter? Are you sick? still

Didn't hear you clearly just now? The student replied, "No, I'm afraid other students didn't hear you clearly. 」

What is courage? ...

They taught us what courage is in the mid-term exam of the philosophy department of a university. A student is on the test paper.

Write "this is it" and hand it in ... and get an A. ...

Theory of relativity

One day, Xiao Ming ran into the classroom, stood up again and left the classroom. The teacher turned around.

Seeing Xiaoming's back ... the teacher began to curse. Say … Now people are becoming less and less aware of the benefits of reading …

... the teacher went on to say ... OK ... He didn't attend my class ... I pawned him ... The teacher asked the monitor, what did you learn just now?

What's this student's name ... the monitor said ... he's in the next class ... just in the wrong classroom. ...

Jokes in the dormitory

I have a classmate who never buys toilet paper himself, but always goes to someone else to get it when he uses it. I took one at my house.

I saw it in toilet paper. I said to him angrily, why do you always use my toilet paper? Won't you buy it yourself? He hey

Hey, Yi Le said, Don't be so stingy! Isn't it just a little toilet paper I'll give it back to you when I'm finished!

reaction

One day, Joe came into the classroom, and his hair stood straight. The teacher asked what was going on.

Joe said: this is the reaction of hair gel.

The next day, Joe walked into the classroom logically, and the teacher asked.

Joe said, this is my father's reaction to hair gel.

___

Military training in Tsinghua

Recently, Tsinghua has been digging holes and laying cables everywhere.

One day, a classmate from another school came to play and saw pits everywhere.

Seeing the military training of rows of students in military uniforms, I can't help sighing loudly: Tsinghua's military training is so formal, and so much has been dug.

Trenches.

earth

When the secretary visited a school, he saw a globe in the classroom. He asked student A, "Tell me, why this globe?"

Tilt 23.5 degrees? "Student A was very scared and replied," I didn't do it. At this moment, the classroom walked into another room.

A student B. When the secretary asked again, student B replied, "You know, I just came in and didn't know anything. 」

The director asked the teacher doubtfully what was going on. The teacher said apologetically, "It's not their fault. I bought a globe. "

It was already like this when I came. The headmaster saw that the director's face was getting uglier and uglier, and quickly went forward to explain: "It's a shame to say it."

It's a pity, "the principal said with a smile apologetically," because the school funds are limited, we bought a bargain. 」

The teacher asked Xiao Qiang, "Who burned Yuanmingyuan?" Xiao Qiang said indignantly, "Teacher. No, no, I didn't burn it. "

"What? You, you, you call your father, "the teacher said angrily. After school, Xiao Qiang's father came and the teacher told him.

He said, "Today, I asked your son who burned the Yuanmingyuan, and he actually said that he didn't burn it. Is this ridiculous? " small

Strong father blinked and said hesitantly, "Teacher, it's really ...". Not him. It's burnt Our children wouldn't do that.

Why don't we ... pay, okay?

Master of Tsinghua.

Tsinghua deserves to be the home of academic science and technology, and the chefs in the canteen are impressed by it. It is necessary to sit up and take notice!

One day, a southerner lined up to buy steamed buns.

Say to the master: think about steamed stuffed bun. There is no difference between four and ten. )

Host: How much?

This man: si?

Host: How much?

This man a nasty, come up to 1, "ten, of course.

The master replied, "I see! Then he quickly gave the man ten buns, and finally added, "I told you not to." "

It's too difficult! "

Everyone was stunned. ...

Xiao Ming said to his parents as soon as he got home today, "Only I can answer a question the teacher asked at school today. 」

My parents proudly asked, "What's the problem?" The teacher asked: Who didn't hand in their homework? 」

___

The teacher asked the students: how to explain' sharing pain with others will halve the pain'?

Xiao Lun replied: If my father hits me, I will hit my brother at once!

___

Professor: xxx, please wake up the person next to you. This is a class, not a bedtime.

Student: Professor, please wake him up. You put him to sleep.

___

At the beginning of each semester, there are always advertisements for selling old textbooks on the bulletin board. One of them reads: "Heart."

Introduction to science. Fifty yuan. Never used it. Next to the signature, it says, "It must be sold. 」

The next day, a note was added to the advertisement: "The price is fair. But you really haven't used it? " sign

It is a "possible buyer". Under the confession, different handwriting reads: "I can promise!" " The signer examined him.

Test paper professor. "

be intoxicated with self-satisfaction

When I was a freshman, I liked to look in the mirror and feel sorry for myself. Even when the big exam is approaching, I still can't bear to put it down.

I looked down in the mirror, worried about her homework, and tried to persuade her, but she sighed and said, "Is it wrong to be beautiful?"

"Don't worry," the usually taciturn director suddenly said, "you've never made such a mistake."

Three girls in school are talking about a man who came to school to propose.

A (junior undergraduate): How tall is he? Is he handsome?

B (Master): What does he do and what's his monthly salary?

C (Ph.D.): Where is he? ! !

(Pure fiction, please don't mind)

___

stay up late or all night on New Year's Eve

At the beginning of the new semester, our senior students went to the station to meet their new classmates.

I saw a little girl standing beside a big box at a loss, so I took the initiative to help her lift it. Unexpectedly, the weight of this box exceeds

One thousand Jin, I am embarrassed to put down the box again, so I have to struggle to support it.

After only a few steps, the girl said to me: If you can't move your back, go away.

As soon as I heard this, I cried out my heartfelt anger, put down the box and glared at her.

The girl froze for a few seconds, then pointed to the bottom of the box and said, I mean the wheel.

translate freely

A university professor told his students: "in ancient times,' Lu' meant kissing, which was very vivid;" one of

The student asked, "If' Lu' means kissing, how does' Pin' explain the meeting of three people?"

Kissing? "

The professor was about to get angry when another student stood up and said, "I think the word' product' is easy to explain." What about the' device'? " Four people

What happened to the dog? "The whole class laughed, and the professor put down the book.

___

This young man is promising and worth teaching.

Teacher: "What's your name and why are you making trouble?"

Student: "My name is Wang."

Teacher: "Be polite to the teacher and be sure to address him as' sir', you know?"

Student: "OK, my name is Mr. Wang."

Step on you ...

A famous botany professor in China and his teaching assistant were studying new varieties of plants when suddenly the teaching assistant asked the professor, "Teaching?"

Professor, what should I do when I go to an internship in a foreign country and meet plants I don't know? The professor replied: In order to avoid classmates.

Ask questions, so I usually walk in the front, and then, trample all the plants I don't know to death.

One day in physics and chemistry class, the teacher announced that there would be a quiz in the next class. Xiao Ming immediately raised his hand nervously and asked the teacher.

It won't be difficult. The teacher only said:? It's simple. I'm glad everyone applauded, but

After the exam, everyone did badly. How can it be simple? So Xiao Ming asked the teacher again.

Just listen to the teacher and say: I am right, it is very simple, and the remaining 90 is very difficult!

There is a professor who wants to keep his students bored every time he gives a lecture.

So the world will tell some jokes to make students happy, but

The girls think the professors are telling funny jokes, but they don't think so.

I think professors should have the dignity of professors, so we are together.

The discussion said that if the professor said it again next time, he would stand up and go at once.

Out of the classroom, unfortunately, the boy knew about it and ran to talk to him.

The professor said, then the professor said, it doesn't matter. I'll take care of it, and then

Once in class, the professor began to speak again! ! He said: I heard recently

Paris is short of prostitutes! ! The girls heard this and started throwing things at each other.

Look, I want to say that the professor is telling colored jokes again.

Carry out their plan, just as they stood up and prepared to go out.

In the classroom, the professor said: hmm! These girls, don't.

What a hurry! ! The plane to Paris won't take off until tomorrow! !

-

The last question in the final exam of a certain subject (the teacher of this subject is a big killer):

What song do you want to order for yourself when you see the final exam: (1) Chen Jieyi Heartache (2) Wan Fang.

Everything is as good as new (3) Winnie understands (4) Winnie forgets (5) You Ke Li Lin admits her mistake (6) Others.

One question is 4 points.

-

It was love at first sight for a foreign female student studying Chinese in a university.

The idiom "love at first sight" makes a sentence: "I did all my homework last night,

As soon as I saw the clock, I could not help crying! ""no, no.

"You can take apart idioms," the young male teacher corrected today.

I fell in love with her at first sight when I arrived at school in the morning.

Meaning, or not. "She looked at the male teacher and said," I fell in love with you at first sight. ...

..... ""That's right this time! Huh? I don't know, ... "The male teacher blushed and said," The sentence is right, but the object is wrong. "

-

The teacher who teaches arithmetic asked, "Someone borrowed 50% for monthly interest.

One point, two years later, how much interest can you charge? "

The whole class is busy with calculations. Only the banker's son sat still.

Why doesn't it count? "I am not interested in such a low interest rate." ...

-

Not tied.

The adjustment of departments in a university was successfully completed, and all departments, regardless of size, were listed as "colleges".

At the summary meeting, the principal made a generous statement: "From now on, there will be no department (drama) in our school."

The audience applauded.

-

Teacher: Did you show your parents the report card?

Health: Yes.

Teacher: Then why don't parents stamp?

Sheng rolled up his sleeves and showed his scarred arm. Cover it here.

-

Singular and plural

Teacher: "Nick, do you know singular and plural?"

Nick: "I see."

Teacher: "Tell me, is' pants' singular or plural?"

Nick: "It's singular above and plural below."

answer

In English class, the teacher is talking about the differences between Chinese and western languages. Some students raised their hands and asked, "Teacher,

How to say "jiaozi" in English? "The teacher looked democratic and scolded him:" Ignorance! Renjiaying

China people don't eat jiaozi! "

Straight play.

The teacher wrote "confused" on the blackboard, and then asked a student, "Please say one."

What does this idiom mean? "The student stood up and pushed the glasses of deep myopia.

, carefully looked at the four words on the blackboard, read along while also don't understand, finally he didn't.

Can helplessly say: "teacher, I can't see clearly." "The teacher said," You are right. Please sit down.

Go down. "

Not yet born

A boy went to the girls' dormitory to visit his girlfriend, and the dormitory doorman asked him to fill out a visitor list.

Fill in name, gender, address, age, ... until the last one.

In the "relationship" column, the boy thought for a long time before writing down the word "not yet happened".

Clever method

A middle school principal faced a problem. Older female students in the school began to wear lipstick. When they wear lipstick in the bathroom, they put their lips

Leave lip prints on the mirror. He thought of a way to stop the problem before it got out of control. So he called all the girls who wore lipstick.

And ask them to meet in the bathroom at 2 pm. When the girls arrived at the bathroom at 2 o'clock, they found the headmaster and supervisor already waiting there. The headmaster explained to them

This problem makes the supervisor clean the mirror in the bathroom every night. He thinks that girls don't understand the seriousness of the problem, so they want to take care of themselves.

See how difficult it is to clean the mirror. Then the supervisor began to demonstrate. The supervisor took out a long-handled brush from the box, took it to the nearest toilet and dipped it in water.

Try to go to the mirror and start scrubbing.

After that, no one left lip prints on the mirror.

Answer casually

Peter is a clever boy, but because he is playful, his academic performance is not very good. Once, the Chinese teacher asked him, "Do you know Romeo?"

Whose work is Europe and Juliet? "Peter replied lazily," how should I know? Children my age don't like watching Shakespeare.

Asian works. "

mom and dad

Teacher: "one is long and one is short, one is fast and one is slow." Short people are naturally lazy and long. "

I'm so busy. Guess what this is? "

Student: "Mom and Dad."

In the general reading room of Tsinghua Library, there is a boy, Mr. A, sitting opposite him.

Very beautiful Miss B, A looks at B from time to time, hoping that B can look at herself.

Two hours later, Miss B was still buried in her book. At this time, Mr. C, A's neighbor, released one.

Strangely, it was a stuffy fart. Miss B looked up and stared at her nose for a long time. .........

On the day of the exam, the professor suddenly announced the postponement of the exam, and a student immediately stood up and protested with confidence.

He said that the delay would upset his plan to review other issues. The professor immediately asked, "What's your name? 」

The tone of "Wang Daming" students has softened. "Well, Mr. Wang, I'll give you a grade.

And you are exempt from the exam because you have the courage to speak frankly, which is the most important purpose of education. 」

The student replied, "In that case, my real name is Li Xiaohua. 」

After handing out the test papers

Teacher: "If there is something unclear in the test paper, you can raise your hand and ask questions. 」

White rotten answer: "teacher! The previous classmate's test paper was so unclear that he didn't even ask! 」

A candidate can't overhear the last question in the math exam.

I got an answer from others, but the process still doesn't work. When I was about to hand in my paper, he had a brainwave.

Move and write on paper: the operation process is short. Then copy the answers at the back.

After the marking teacher looks at it, type "? Cross ",and then wrote: the score is slightly.

Brother: Do you want me to help you with your homework today? Brother: I dare not. Yesterday, you put "a meal"

Written as "a ton of rice", my classmates laughed at me as "a big git".

Mom: How many times have I told you? If you don't understand, you should ask the teacher. Child: I asked, but the teacher refused to say.

Mom: When? Child: Just yesterday during the exam.

Classroom inscription

If you can't get high marks, just pass the exam. If you don't learn deeply, you will be smart if you cheat. I am a classroom, but I am free.

Novels spread quickly, magazines frequently read, thinking about playing Go, watching movies and writing love letters.

Thinking of women, without the noise of books, without the fatigue of reviewing, is not a dance floor, but a recreation hall.

Xin Yun: Mix a diploma.

Recite scripture

A rich man found that the teacher he invited for his son was actually teaching him to recite hymns.

Scripture mourning the death of father.

"Teacher, I am still strong. How can you teach him this? 』

"Don't worry, when your son can recite this scripture, you may be one hundred years old. 』

The man created by the emperor

The teacher said to the students, "children, the headmaster will come to ask you questions this afternoon, and you should answer them well."

Benjamin, you are the first. The headmaster will ask you who created it. Just answer that God created it, Tom.

You are the second. The headmaster will ask you who is the earliest person in the world, and you will answer Adam and Eve.

Remember, don't answer wrong. In the afternoon, just as the headmaster was coming, Benjamin suddenly had a stomachache.

The pain was unbearable, so I went to the toilet. When the headmaster came into the classroom, he saw that the first seat was empty and asked the second seat.

Dear Tom: "Who created you?" Tom replied, "Adam and Eve." The headmaster was anxious: "What?

Don't you know that you were created by God? Tom: "God created man with a stomachache.

Went to the bathroom. "

What are the benefits of public places around the college for their study?

1, disco: English

2. Billiards Hall: Mathematics and Physics

3. pub: chemistry

4. Hotel: Biology

A student threw a coin into the air: "look up at the movie and play billiards with your tail up."

If the coin stands up, fuck studying. "

Elephant painting

When handing in homework to the art teacher, one student only handed in a blank sheet of paper.

The teacher asked, "What about the painting?"

The student replied, "Here?" He pointed to a blank sheet of paper and said.

Teacher: "What did you draw?"

Student: "Cows eat grass."

Teacher: "What about the grass?"

Student: "The cows are gone."

Teacher: "Where are the cows?"

Student: "The grass is gone, why is the cow still standing there?" "

bend

Father: "Son, how did you become the worst student in the class?" "son

: "Can you blame me? The worst students have transferred to other schools. "

inertia

The physics teacher is talking about inertia, and the next student is talking nonsense.

The teacher gave him a hint, but he went his own way. Teacher: What did I just say?

Student: Inertia

Teacher: Please give an example.

Student: I was just talking below. In spite of your hints, I can't stop at once.

Hang in there, it's inertia.