Psychotic joke

A patient came to see a psychiatrist ... what should I do ... I always thought I was a bird ... Doctor: Oh ... that was very serious ... Patient: Because I am a bird. (2) The doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: If I put one of your ears in, the patient replied: Then I can't hear ... The doctor listened ... Mm-hmm ... This is normal ... The doctor asked: Hmm ... What would you do if I cut off your other ear again? The patient replied: then I can't see ... the doctor is getting nervous ... how can I not see ... The patient replied: Because glasses will fall off ... (3) Two mental patients ... escaped from the hospital ... Two people ran and ran ... climbed a tree, and one of them jumped off the tree. ............., who rolled and rolled, looked up and said to the person above: Hey, why don't you come down? -The person above answered him: No-well-ah-I'm not familiar with it yet (4). There is an old lady in a mental hospital ... dressed in black every day ... holding a black umbrella ... squatting at the gate of the mental hospital ... The doctor wants to ... cure her ... We must start by getting to know her ... So ... the doctor is also dressed in black ... holding a black umbrella ... squatting there with her ... The two of them are speechless. 2009-07-1613:10 A mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to inspect the situation, and the dean called a meeting of the patients in the whole hospital. The dean said, "This afternoon, important leaders are coming to visit, and everyone should meet them at the door. When welcoming, all patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate and stood neatly. When I cough, everyone applauds together, the warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, we can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, everyone will have no buns to eat, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!" This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the dean's cough, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. Infected by the warm atmosphere, the visiting leaders smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only the leader is still smiling and clapping, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "You don't want to eat steamed bread?" ! ! ! "(6) Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office and went back to the ward. Ask B, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished? "? B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, just a few more characters. " At this time, the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me! ""July 2009-1613:13 (8) Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will take him to the hospital at once." Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Oh, no, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning, saying that he is my toilet." "Quick, send him here quickly!" A Jun silently carved: "So ... I don't have a toilet?" (9) In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day. One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? " (10) There is a mental hospital where many mental patients live. One day, the dean there thought of a way to see the patient's recovery. I said to these patients, come here, draw a door on the wall and say, "Today, whoever opens this door can go home." As soon as psychopaths heard this, they flocked around the painted door. The dean was very disappointed. At this time, he found a patient still sitting in the original position, feeling ok. He stepped forward and asked, "Why don't you open the door?" He looked at the dean and said a word. The dean laughed and cried after listening. It turned out that the patient secretly told the dean, "I have the key here."